I
Wl
'///>)
*
ADA HIS
SM-A <-Vi
THE
WORKS
o *•
Dr. JONATHAN SWIFT,
Dean of St. Patrick's, Dublin,
VOLUME IV.
EDINBURGH:
Printed by A. Donaldson, and fold at his Shops
in London and Edinburgh.
M.DCC.LXVIII.
C ni ]
CONTENTS of Vol. IV.
Page
\ I 'HE Drapier's Letters :
■*■ Letter VII. An humble addrefs to both
houfes of parliament 1
The Drapier demoliihed 3Q
A full and true account of the folemn procef-
ilon to the gallows, at the execution of "Wil-
liam Wood, Efq; and hardwareman 37
Some coniiderations on the attempts to pafs Mr.
Wood's brafs money in Ireland 43
A fliort view of the ftate of Ireland in 1727 53
An anfwer to a paper, called, " A memorial
" of the poor inhabitants, tradefmen, and
11 labourers of the kingdom of Ireland" 6%
A vindication of his Excellency John Lord Car-
teret, from the charge of favouring none but
Tories, high-churchmen-, and Jacobites 72
Coniiderations upon two bills, fe'nt down from
the hbufe of Lords to the houfe of Commons
in Ireland, relating to the clergy 92.
A propofal for an ac~t of parliament in Ireland,
to pay off the debts of that nation without
taxing the fubjecl 107
An examination of certain abufes, corruptions,
and enormities, in the city of Dublin 114
A letter from a member of the houfe of Com-
mons in Ireland, to a member of the houfe
of Commons in England, concerning the fa-
cramental tell 132
Some arguments againft enlarging the power of
bifhops in letting of leafes 153
The Prefby terians plea of merit, in order to take
off the ten:, impartially examined- 172
Vol.. IV. a 2 The
tr CONTEN TS,
The advantages propofed by repealing the fa-
cramental teft, impartially considered 192
Queries relating to the facramental teft 202
Reafons humbly offered to the parliament of
Ireland, for repealing the facramental teft in
favour of the Catholics 219
Some reafons againft the bill for fettling the
tithe of hemp, ilax, <bc. by a modus 223
A modeit propofil to the public,|for preventing
the children of poor people in Ireland from
being a burden to their parents or country,
and for making them beneficial to the public 237
The humble petition of the footmen in and a-
bout the city of Dublin, to the houfe of
Commons, he. 248
A propofil for giving badges to the beggars in
all the parifhes of Dublin 25 1
Advice co the freemen of Dublin, in the choice
of a member to reprefent them in parliament 263
Some confiderations offered to the Lord Mayor,
Aldermen, <&c. of Dublin, in the choice of
a recorder 271
The laft fpeech and dying words of Ebenezer
Ellifton, who was executed May 2, 1722 274
The Intelligencer, No I. 280
No III. 283
No XV7. — 290
- No XIX. - 292
Remarks on Dr. Swift's tracts relating to Ire-
land From Mr. Dean Swift's effay 302
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
The publisher to the reader 307
Gulliver's letter to his coufln Symfon 309
Part I. A Voyage to Lilliput.
Chap. I. The author gives fome account of him-
felf and family. His firft inducements to travel.
He is ihipwrecked, and fwims for his life ;
gets fafe on Ihorc in the country of Lilliput,
is made a prifoner, and carried up the country 3 1 5
Chap.
CONTENTS. i
Chap. II. The Emperor of Lilliput, attended by
feveral of the nobility, comes to fee the au-
thor in his confinement. The Emperor's
perfon and habit defcribed. Learned men
appointed to teach the author their language.
He gains favour by his mild difpofition. His
pockets are fearched, and his fword and pif-
tols taken from him 32^
Chap. III. The author diverts the Emperor and
his nobility of both fexes in a very uncom-
mon manner. The diverfions of the court
of Lilliput defcribed. The author has his li-
berty granted him upon certain conditions 340
Chap. IV. Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput,
defcribed, together with the Emperor's palace.
A converfation between the author and a
principal fecretary concerning the affairs of
that empire. The author's oilers to ferve the
Emperor in his wars 349
Chap. V.The author, by an extraordinary ftra-
tagem, prevents an invafion. A high title of
honour is conferred upon him. AmbafTa-
dors arrive from the Emperor of Blefufcu,
and fue for peace. The Emprefs's apartment
on fire by an accident ; the author inftrumen-
tal in faving the reft of the palace 355
Chap. VI. of the inhabitants of Lilliput ; their
learning, laws, and cuftoms, the manner of
educating the children. The author's way
of living in that country. His vindication of
a great lady 362
Chap. VII. The author, being informed of a
defign to accufe him of high treafon, makes
his efcape to Blefufcu. His reception there 374
Chap. VIII. the author, by a lucky accident,
finds means to leave Blefufcu; and: after
fome difficulties, returns fafe to his native
country 384
L
An humble ADDRESS ro both Houfes
of PARLIAMENT*.
By M. B. Drapier.
Malta gemens ignominiam plagafque fupsrbi
Vicloris*
I Have been told, that petitions and addreffes, to
either king or parliament, are the right of every
fubject ; provided they confift with that refpect
trhich is due to princes and great aiiemblies. Nei-
ther do I remember, that the model! propofals or
opinions of private men have been ill received,
when they have not been delivered in the ftile of
advice ; which is a prefumption far from my thoughts.
However, if propofals ihoiild be looked upon as
too alTuming ; yet I hope, every man may be fuf*
fered to declare his own and the nation's wifhes.
For inftance ; I may be allowed to wifh, that ibme
further laws were enacted for the advancement of
* This addrefs is vviilicut a date, but it appears to have been writ-
ten during the. fitfi ieiiion of parliament in Lord Carte et's govern-
Went, though it did not appear till it was inferted with the preceding
letter in the Dahlia edition or' 1735.
Ameng other inaccuracies in the Iriih edition, two dates are afiigned
to the following tra<ft ; in the advertisement prefixed it is laid to
have been written the firft fjffion of Carteret's government, and in
the title page to be written before his arrival, '
Vol. IV. A trade,
THE BRAPIER's LETTERS.
trade, for the improvement of agriculture, now
itrangely neglected againft the maxims of all wife
nations.; for fupplying the mamfeft defects in the nets
concerning the plantation of trees ; for letting the
poor to work ; and many others.
Upon this principle I may venture to affirm, it is
the hearty wilh of the whole nation, very few ex-
cepted, that the parliament in this ieilion would be-
gin by ftrictly examining into the deteftable fraud
of one William Wood, now or late of London,
iiardw areman ; who illegally and clandeftinely, as
appears by your own votes and addreiTes, procu-
red a patent in England for coining halfpence in
that kingdom to be current here. This I fay is the
wifh of the whole nation, very few excepted; and
upon account of thole few, is more itrongly
andjuftly the wilh of the reft: thofe few coniifling
either of Wood's confederates, fome obfeure tradef-
men, or certain bold UNDER' TAKERS of weak
Judgement and ftrong ambition, who think to find
their account in the ruin of the nation by fecuring
or advancing themfelves. And becaufe fuch men
proceed upon a fyltem of politics, to which I would
fain hope you will be always utter ftrangers, I fliall
humbly lay it before you.
Be pleated to fuppofe me in a fration of (fifteen
hundred pounds a year, falary and perquiiites ;
and likewife pofTcfTed of 8co 1. a-year real eftate.
Th'en fuppofe a deftruclive project to be on foot ;
fuch, for inftance, as this of Wood ; which, if it
iucceed, in all the confequences naturally, to be ex-
-oecled from it, muft link the rents and wealth of
the kingdom one half, (although, I am confident,
it would have done Co five (ixths). Suppofe, I con-
ceive that .the countenancing, or privately fupport-
ing this project, will pleale thofe by whom I expect
to be preferred, or higher exalted : nothing then
remahis, but to compute and balance my gain and
my lofs, and fum up the whole. I fuppofe that I
fliall
LETTER VIE
ftiill keep my employment ten years, not to men-
tion a fair chance of a better. This at 1500 1. a-
year amounts in ten years to [5,000 I. My eftate
by the fuccefs of t!ve raid project links 400 1. a-year y
which, at twenty years piirchafe, ib but 8000 1. :
fd that I am a clear gainer 01 7000 I. upon the
balance. And daring ail th.u period I am poiietTed
of power and credit, can gratify my favourites,
and take vengeance cm my enemies. And if the
p'.Mjea: irrtfearry, my priv;te merit is kill entire.
This arithmetic, as horrible as it appears, I know-
ingly affirm to have been praetifed, and applied in
conjunctures, whereon depended the ruin or fafety
of a nation : although probably the charity and
virtue of a fenatq veil' hardly be induced to believe,
that there can be fut.h monfters among mankind.
And yet the wile Lord Bacon mention.; a ibrt of
people (I doubt the race is not yet extinct) who
would fet a hoitfe on fire for the convenience of
roafting their own eggs at the flame.
But whoever is old enough to remember and
hath turned hU thoughts to eblerve the courfe of
pubhc aflairs in 'His kingdom from the time of the
revolution, mull acknowledge, that the Iiigheft poi nts
of intereft and liberty have been often facrificed to -
the avarice and ambition of particular perlons upon
the very principles and arithmetic that 1 have fup-
pofed : the only wonder is, how tliefe ai lilts
were able to prevail upon numbers, and influence
even public aflembhes to become inftfuments for
eirecTtinq" their execrable defigms.
It is, I think, in all eonfeience latitude enough. '
for vice, if a man m itation be allowed to act in-
j Hitice upon the ufual principles of getting a bribe,
wreaking his malice, ferving his party, or confult-
mg his preferments, while his wickedneis terminate;
in the ruin only of particular perfons. But to de-
liver up our whole country, and every living
foul who inhabits it, 10 certain dcttructioii, hatha
A 2 not,
4 THE DRAPIEIVs LETTERS.
not, as I remember, been permitted by the moll fa-
vourable cafuifts on the fide of corruption. It
were far better, that all who have had the misfor-
tune to be born in this kingdom, mould be ren-
dered incapable of holding any employment what-
foever above the degree of a conftable, (according
to the fcheme and intention of a great minilter
gone to his own place *), than to live under the
daily apprehenfion of a few falfe brethren among
ourielves. Becaufe, in the former cafe, we Ihould
be wholly free from the danger of being betrayed,
fince none could then have impudence enough to
pretend any public good.
It is true, that in this defperate affair of the new
halfpence I have not heard of any man above my
own degree of a fhopkeeper to have been hitherto
io bold, as in direct terms to vindicate the fatal pro-
ject ; although I have been told of fome verv mol-
iifying expreilions which were ufed, and very
gentle expedients propofed and handed about, when
it nrft came under debate • but lmce the eyes of the
people have been .fo far opened, that the moft ig-
norant can plainly fee their own ruin in the fuccefs
of Wood's attempt, thefe grand compounders have
been more cautious.
But that the fame fpirit ftill fubfifts, hath mani-
fcftly appeared (among other inftances of great
comniiance'i from certain circumftances, that have
attended fome late proceedings in a court or
judicature *. There is not any common-place
more frequently infilled on by thofe who treat
gS our conftitution, than the greateft happinefs and
excellency of trials by juries ; yet if this blefTed part
of our law be eludible at pleafure by the force of
* The late Earl of Sunderfaud.
* By Chief JufHce Whitfhed, vthoie method with a jury may be
fecn in the note which follows tie u Propofal for the ufe of Irifh
" mapufaflures," and that at the end of li Seal'onable advice to a
" crcni '.UfV."
poiger
L E T T E ?, VII. ■ - 5
power, frowns, and artifice, we (hall have
little reafon to boaft of our advantage, in this parti-
cular over other {rates or kingdoms in Europe.
And iurely thefe high proceedings, exercifed in a
point that io nearly concerned the life-blood of the
people, their neceiTary fubiiftence, their very food
and raiment, and even die public peace, will not
allow any favourable appearance; becaufe it was
obvious, that fo much fuperabundant zeal could
have no other deiign, or produce any other effect,
than to damp thn fpirit railed in the nation againit
this accurfed fcheme of Whlliam Wood and his
abettors ; to which fpiril alone we owe, and for e-
ver muft owe, our being hitheno preferved, and
our hopes of being preferved for the future, if ie
can be kept up, and jftrongly countenanced by your
wife aiTemblies. I with I could account tor luch a
demeanor upon a more charitable foundation,
than that of putting our intcreit in overbalance-
with the ruin of our. coumry.
I remember fome months ago, when this affair,
was frdh in diicourfe. a perfon nearly allied to
SOMEBODY, or (as the hawkers called him)
NOBODY, who was thought, deeply concerned,
went about very diligently among his acquaintance,
to ihew the bad confequenccs that might follow
from any public rcfentment to the difadvantase of
his ally, Mr. Wood ; principally ailedging. the dan-
ger of all employments being diipofed of from Eng-
land. One of thefe emiliaries came to me and
urged the fame topic : I anfwerecl naturally, that I '
knew there was no office of an 7 kind, which a man
from England might not have, if he thought it
worth his aflcing ; and that I looked upon all who
had the disadvantage of being born here, as only
in the condition of leafers and gleaners. Neither
could I forbear mentioning the known fable of the
countryman, who intreated his afs to fly for fear of
beiDg taken by the enemy; but the ais refilled to
A 3 give
6 THE DRAWER'S LETTERS.
give himfelf that trouble, and upon a very wife
reafon » bccaufe he could not poffibly change his
prefent mafter for a worfe : the enemy could not
mike him fare harder, beat him more cruelly , or load
him with heavier burthens.
Upon thefe and many other considerations I may
affirm it to be the wilh of the whole nation, that
the power and privileges of juries were declared,
ascertained, and confirmed by the legislature ; and
that whoever hath been manifestly known to vio-
late them, might be Stigmatized by public cenfure ;
mot from any hope that fuch a cenfure will amend
their practices, or hurt their intereft, (for it may
probably operate qviite contrary in both), but that
the nation may know their enemies from their
friends.
I fay not this with any regard or view to myfelf ;
for I write in great fecurity; and am refolved that
none (hall merit at my expenfe, further than by
fhewing their zeal to diicover, prcfecute, and con-
demn me for endeavouring to do my duty in ferv-
ing my country : and yet I am confeious to my-
felf, that ■ never had the leaft intention to reflect
on his Majefty's miniilers, nor on any other per-
form, except William Wood, whom I neither did,
nor do yet conceive to be of that number. However,
forne wou'tfd have it, that I went too far; but I
iuppofe they will now allow themfelves miftaken.
I am fore I might eafily have gone further, and I
think I could not caflly have fared worfe. And
therefore I was no further affected with their pro^
clamation, and fubfequent proceedings, than a
good clergyman is with the fins of the people. And
as to the poor printer, he is now gone to appear
before a higher, and before a righteous tribunal.
As my intention is only to lay before your great
affemblies the general wiihes of the nation ; and as
I have already declared it our principal wim, that
your firft proceeding would be to examine into the
pernicious
LETTER VII. 7
pernicious frand of William Wood ; fo I muft add
as the univerfal opinion, that all fchemes of com-
mutation, competition, and the like expedients,
either avowed or implied, will be of the moft per-
nicious confequences to the public ; againfi: the
dignity of a free kingdom ; and prove an encou-
ragement to future adventurers in the lame defrrue-
five projects. For it is a maxim, which no man
at prefent disputes, that even a ccnivance to admit
one th oui and pounds in thefe halfpence will pro-
duce in time the fame ruinous effects, as if we o-
penly confenicd to admit a million. It were there-
fore infinitely more fafe and eligible to leave things
in the doubtful, melancholy ftate thev are at
prelent, ('which however God forbid), and truft
entirely to the general averiion of our people a-
gainil: this coin, tiling all honeft endeavours to pre-
serve, continue, and increafe that averfion, than
iubmit to apply thofe palliatives, which weak, per-
fidious, or abject politicians are, upon all occallons,
and in all difeafes, fo ready to adrninifter.
In the fmall compafs of my reading (which how-
ever hath been more extennve than is ufual to men
of my inferior calling), I have obferved, that
grievances have always preceded fupplies; and if
ever grievances had a title to fuch a pre-eminence,
it muft be this of Wood ; becaufe it is not only the
greateft grievance that any country could fuffer, but
a grievance of fuch a kind, that, if it fhould take
effect, would make it impoflible for us to give any
fupplies at all, except in adulterate copper; unlefs
a tax were laid for paying the civil and military lifts,
and the large penilons, with real commodities in-
ftead of money ; which, however, might be liable to
fome few objections as well as difficulties ; for altho'
the common foldiers might be content with beef,
and mutton, and wool, and malt, and leather; yet
I am in fome doubt as to the generals, the colo-
nels, the numerous pensioners, the civil officers,
and
8- THE DRAPIER's LETTERS.
and others, who all live in England upon Irifli-
pay, as well as thofe few who refide among us only
beeaufe they cannot help it.
There is one particular, which although I have
mentioned more than once in fome of my former-
papers, yet I cannot forbear to repeat, and a little
enlarge upon it; beeaufe I do not remember to have
read or heard of the like in the hiftory of any age
or country ; neither do I ever rctlecl: upon it with-
out the utmoft aitonifhmenr.
After the unanimous addrefies to his Sacred Ma-.
jeftv againft this patent of Wood .from both houfes.
oi: parliament, which are the three efiates of the
kingdom; and likewise an addrefs from the privy
council, to whom, under the chief governors, the
whole adminiftration is intruded ; the matter is
referred to a committee of council in London.
Wood and his adherents are heard on one fide ;
and a few volunteers without any truft or direction
from hence, on the other... The queftion (as I re-
member) chiefly turned upon. the want of half?
pence in Ireland : witneffes are called on the. be-
half of Wood (of what credit, I have formerly
fhewn *■) : upon the iiTue the patent is found good
and .legal; all his Majeiiy's 'officers here (not ex-,
cepting the military) commanded to be aiding and
affifting to make it effectual ; the addreflbs of both
houfes of parliament, of the privy council, and of
the city of Dublin, the declarations of mod: coun-
ties and corporations through the kingdom,, are al-
together laid afide as of no weight, confequence,
or confideration whatfoever, and the whole king-
dom of Ireland nonfuited in default of appearance ;
as if it were a private caufe between John Dow,
plaintiff, and William Row, defendant.
With great refpect to thofe honurable perfons,
the committee of council in London, I have not
* In letter 3.
under-
LETTER VII. 9
vmderftood them to be our governors, counfcllorsj
or judges. Neither did our cafe turn at all upon
the queftion, Whether Ireland wanted halfpence ?
For there is no doubt, but we do want both half-
pence, gojd and filver ; and we have numberlefs o-
ther wants, and fome that Ave are not fo much, as
allowed to name, although they are peculiar to this
nation, to which no other is fubjecl:, whom God
hath bleiied with religion and laws, or any degree
of foil and funfhine; but for what demerits on our
fide, I am altogether in the dark.
But I do not remember, that our want of half-
pence was either affirmed or denied in any of our
addreffes or declarations againft thofe of Wood.
We alledged the fraudulent obtaining and execut-
ing his patent, the bafcneis of his metal, and the
prodigious fum to be coined, which might be in-
creafed by ftealth, from foreign importation, and
his own counterfeits, as well as thofe at home ;
whereby we muff infallibly loie all our little gold
and filver, and all our poor remainder of a very
limited and difcouraged trade. We urged, that
the patent was palTed without the leaf! reference
hither ; and without mention of any feeurity given
by Wood to receive his own halfpence upon de-
mand ; both which are contrary to all former pro-
ceedings in the like cafes. Thefe, and many other
arguments we offered ; but ft'iil the patent went on ;
and at this day our ruin would have been half com-
pleted, if God in his mercy had not raifed an uni-
versal deteftation of thefe half- pence in the whole
kingdom, with a firm refolution never to receive
them, fince we are not under obligations to do fo
by any law either human or divine.
But, in the name of God and of all juftice and
piety, when the King's Majefty was pleafed that
this patent mould pafs, is it not to be under-
ftood, that he conceived, believed, intended it as a
gracious act, for the good and benefit of his fub-
jecis,
io THE DRAPIER's LETTERS. .
jeers, for the advantage or a great and fruitful
kingdom, of the moil loyal iubjccts upon earth,
where no hand or voice was ever lifted up againil
him ; a kingdom, where the paffage is not of three
hours from Britain, and a kingdom where Pap'dls
have lefs powefi and lefs land than in England ?
Can it be denied, or doubted, that his Maje fly's
jaiinillers nnderitood and propofed the fame end,
the good of this nation, when they advifed the palling
t'.is patent? Can the petffbri of Wood be othcrwife
regarded, than as the initrument, the mechanic, the
head- workman., to prepare ivis furnace, his fewel,
his mrtal, and his (lamps ? If I employ a fhoeboy,
is it in view to his advantage, or to my own con-
venience ? I mention the perfon of William Wood
alone ; becaufe no other appears, and we are not
to reaibn upon furmifes ; neither would it avail, if
they had a real foundation.
Allowing therefore, (for we cannot do lefs), that
this patent for the coining of halfpence was wholly
intended by a gracious King, and a wife public-
fpirited miniflry, for the advantage of Ireland ; yet
when the whole kingdom to a man, for whofe good'
the patent was defisjned, do noon matured! coniide-
ration univerfally join in openly declaring, protect-
ing, addreffing, petitioning againit thefe half-
pence, as the moil ruinous project that ever was let
on foot to complete the fiavery and deftruction of a
poor-innocent country : is it^ was it, can it, or will
it ever be a qu eftion, not whether fuch a kingdom,
or William Wood, mould be a gainer ; but, whether
inch a kingdom mould be wholly undone, deilroy-
ed, funk, depopulated, made a fcene of mifery and
defolation, for the fake of William Wood ? God*
of his infinite mercy avert this dreadful judgment ;
and it is our univerfal wiih, that God would put it-
into your hearts to be his injlnirnents for fo good a
work.
ZOVz
LETTER VIT. ir
For my own part, who am but one man, of ob-
fcure condition, I do folemnly declare, In the pre-
sence of Almighty God, that I will fufier the moft
ignominious and torturing death, rather than lub-
mit to receive this accurfed coin, or any other that
ihall be liable to the lame objections, until they
(hall be forced upon me by a law of my own coun-
try ; and if that ihall ever happen, I will transport
myfelf into fome foreign land, and eat the bread
of poverty among a free people.
Am I legally punilhable for thefe expreilions ;
ihall another proclamation ilTue againft me becaufc
I prefume to take my country's part again ft William
"Wood, where her final deftruction is intended ?
■But whenever you lhall ,pieafe to impofe iilence up-
on me, I will fubmit ; becaufe I look upon your
unanimous voice to be the voice of the nation; and
this I have been taught, and do -believe, to be in
fome manner the voice of Gcd,
The great ignominy of a whole kingdom lying
ib long at mercy under lb vile an adverfary, is fuch
a deplorable aggravation, that the utmoft expref-
"iions of ihame and rage are too low to fet it forth:
and therefore I mall leave it to receive fuch a re-
fentment as is worthy -of a parliament.
It is likewife our univerfal wiih, that his Maje-
fty Ihould grant liberty to coin halfpence in this
'kingdom for our own ufe, under fuch reflriction
as a parliament here ihall advrfe : iince the power
of coining even. gold and iilver is poileiTed by every
petty prince abroad ; and was always praelifed by
^Scotland to the very time of the union ; yet fure'y
Scotland, as to foil, climate, and extent, is not in
itfelf a fourth part the value of Ireland ; (for
Biihop Burnet fays,- it is not above the fortieth part
■in value to the reft of Britain) ; and with refptct
to the profit that England gains from hence, net
the forty thoufandth part. Although I mult cor-
fefs, that a mote in the eye, or a thorn in the lice,
is
12 THE DRAPIER's LETTERS.
is more dangerous and painful than a beam or a
ipike at a diftance.
The hiftories of England, and of moft other
countries, abound in relating the miferable, and
fometimes the moil: tragical eJiects from the abuies
of coin by debafing the metal, by leffening or en-
hancing the value upon occalions^ to the public
lofs ; of which we have an example within our
own memory in England, and another very lately
in France. It is the tendered point of government,
affecting every individual in the higheft degree.
When the value of money is arbitrary or unfettled,
no man can well be faid to have any property at
all ; nor is any wound fo fuddenly felt, fo hardly
cured, or that leaves Inch deep and Lifting fears
behind it.
I conceive this poor unhappy ifland to have a
title to fome indulgence from England ; not only
Upon* the fcore of Chriilianity, natural equity, and
the general rights of mankind, but chiefly on ac-
count of that immenfe profit they receive from
us ; without which that kingdom would make a
very different figure in Europe, from what it doth
at prefent.
The rents of land in Ireland, iince thev have
been of late fo enormoufly railed and fcrewed up,
may be computed to about two millions ; whereof
one third part at leaft is directly tranfmitted to thofe
who are perpetual abfentees in England ; as I find
by a computation made with the ailiftance of feve-
xal ikilful gentlemen.
The other articles, by which we are altogether
lofers and England a gainer, we found to amount
to almoft as much more.
I will only fet down as many heads of them as 1
can remember, and leave them to the considera-
tion of thofe who underhand accounts better than
I pretend to do,
The
LETTER VII. 13
The occaiionol abfentees, for bufinefs, health,
or diversion.
Three fourths of the revenue of the chief go-
vernor, during his abfence ; which is ufually four
fifths of his government.
The whole revenue of the poft-ofHce.
The numerous penfions paid to perfons in Eng-
land.
The pay of the chief officers of the army abfent
in England, which is a great fum.
Four commiflioners of the revenue, always ab-
fent.
Civil employments very numerous, and of great
income.
The vaft charge of appeals to the houfe of Lords,
and to the court of delegates.
Students at the inns of court, and the two uni-
verfities.
Eighty thoufand pounds fent yearly to England
for coals, whereof the prime coft is nothing, and
therefore the profit wholly theirs.
One hundred thoufand pounds paid feveral years
paft for corn fent over hither from England ; the
effect of our own great wifdom in difcouraging
agriculture.
The kind liberty granted us of wearing Indian
fluffs, and callicoes, to gratify the vanity and folly
of our women ; which, befides the profit to Eng-
land *, is an inconceivable lofs to us, forcing the
weavers to beg in our ftreets, or tranfport them-
felves to foreign countries-.
The prodigious lofs to us, and gain to England,
by felling them all our wool at their own rates ;
whereof the manufacture exceeds above ten times
* From whence thete corarroditS-s were exported to Ireland, the
Eart- India company only having a right to import them Irom the
country in which they are manufactured.
Vol IV; B the
14 THE DRAPIER's LETTERS.
the prime cofr. : i{ A proceeding without example
'* in the Chriilian or Heathen world,"
Our own wool returned upon us in Englifh ma-
nufactures to our infinite fhame and damage, and
the great advantage of England.
The full profit of all our mines accruing to Eng-
land ; an effect of great negligence and ftupidity.
An affectation among us of liking all kind of
goods made in England *.
Thefe, and many other articles, which I cannot
recollect at prefent, are agreed by judicious men to
amount to near feven hundred thoufand pounds
fer annum clear profit to England. And, upon the
whole, let any man look into thofe authors who
write upon the fubject of commerce, he fhall find,
that there is not one fingle article in the efTentials
or circumfhinccs of trade, whereby a country can
be a lofer, which we do not pofTefs in the higheft
perfection^ fomewhat in every particular, that bears
a kind of analogy to William Wood ; and now the
branches are all cut off, he flands ready with his
axe at the root.
Upon this fubject of perpetual abfentees I have
fpent fome time in very infignificant reflections ;
and coniidering the ufual motives of human actions,
which are pleafure, profit, and ambition, I cannot
yet comprehend how thofe perfons find their ac-
count in any of the three. I fpeak not of thofe
Englifh peers or gentlemen, who, befide their e-
ftates at home, have pofTeflions here, for in that
cafe the matter is defperate; but I mean thofe lords
and wealthy knights, or fquires, whofe birth, and
partly their education, and all their fortune, (ex-s
cept fome trifle, and that in a very few inftances),
are in this kingdom. I knew many of them well
enough during feveral years, when I refided in
* Many of the above articles have been fince particularly computed
by another writer, to whafe treatife the reader is referred.
England ;
LETTER VII, 15
England ; and truly I could not diicover, that the
figure they made was by any means a iubject for
envy, at leaft it gave me two very different paflioms.
For, excepting the advantage of going now and
then to an opera, or fometimes appearing behind
a croud at court, or adding to the ring of coaches
in Hide-Park, or lofing their money at the choco-
late-houfe, or getting news, votes, and minutes,
about five days before us in Dublin ; I fay, beiides
thefe.and a few other privileges of lefs importance,
their temptations to live in London were beyond
my knowledge or conception. And I ufed to won-
der, how a man of birth and fpirit could endure
to be wholly infignincant and obfeure in a foreign
country, when he might live with Inure in his own ;
and even at lefs than half that expenfe, which he
{trains himfelf to make without obtaining any one
end, except that which happened to the frcg, when
he would needs contend for fizc with the ox. I
have been told by fcholars, that Crefar faid he
would rather be the firft man in I know not what
village, than the fecond in Rome. This perhaps
was a thought only fit for Cjefar : but to be pre-
ceded by thoufands and neglected by millions ; to
be wholly without power, figure, influence, ho*
nour, credit, or diftinction, is not, in my poor o-
pinion, a very amiable notation of life to a perfon
of title or wealth, who can lb cheaply and ealily,
fhine in his native country.
But, beiides the depopulating of the kingdom,
the leaving fo many parts of it wild and unculti-
vated, the ruin of fo many country-feats and plan-
tations,-the cutting down all the woods to fr.pply
expenfes in England ; the abfcnce of lb many noble
and wealthy perfons hath been the caufe of another
fatal confequence, which few perhaps have been
aware of. For if that very confiderable number
of lords who poflefs the ampler* fortunes here, had
been content to live at homeland attend the affairs
B 2 of
lb THE DRAPIER's LETTERS.
of their own country in parliament ; the weight,
reputation, and dignity thereby added to that noble
houfe would, in all human probability, have pre-
vented certain proceedings, which are now ever to
to be lamented, becaufe they never can be remedi-
ed : and we might then have decided our own pro-
perties among ourfelves, without being forced to
travel five hundred miles by fea and land to ano-
ther kingdom for juftice, to our infinite expenfe,
vexation, and trouble ; which is a mark of fervi-
tude without example from the practice of any age
or nation in the world.
I have fomerimes wondered, upon what motives
the peerage of England were fo defirous to deter-
mine our controverfies ; becaufe I have been afllir-
ed, and partly know, that the frequent appeals
from hence have been very irkfome to that illuftri-
ous body : and whoever hath frequented the paint-
ed chamber and courts of requefts muft have ob-
ferved, that they are never fo nobly filled, as when
an Irifh appeal is under debate.
The peers of Scotland, who are very numerous,
were content to refide in their caftles and houfes in
that bleak and barren climate ; and although fome
of them made frequent journeys to London, yet
I do not remember any of their greateft families,
till very lately, to have made England their con-
ftant habitation before the union : or if they did,
I am fure it wr.s generally to their own advantage ;
and whatever they got, was employed to cultivate
and increafe their own eflates ; and by that means
enrich themfelves and their country.
As to the great number of rich abfentees under
the degree of peers ; what particular ill effects their
abfence may have upon this kingdom, befides thofe
already mentioned, may perhaps be too tender a
point for me to touch. But whether thofe who
live in another kingdom upon great eftates here,
and have loft all regard to their own country, fur-
ther
LETTER VII. 17
thcr than upon account of the revenues they re-
ceive from it ; I fay, whether fuch perfons may
not be prevailed on to recommend others to vacant-
feats, who have no intereft here except a precarious
employment, and confequently can have no views,
but to preferve what they have got, or to be high'
er advanced ; this, I am fure, is a very melancholy
cmeftion, if it be a queftion at all.
But, Derides the prodigious profits which Ens-
land receives by the tranfmittal thither ot two tliirds
of the revenues of the whole kingdom, it hath an*
other mighty advantage by making cur country a'
receptacle, wherein to difburden themfelves of their
fupernumerary pretenders to offices 5 perfons of
fecond-rate merit in their own country, who, lik«3
birds of paiTage, moft of them thrive and fatter;.
here, and fly off when their credit and employ-
ments are at an end. So that Ireland may juftly-
fay what Luther faid of himfeif ; " POOR. Ireland;
** maketh many rich."
If amidft all our difficulties I (h'culd venture to
afTert, that we have one great advantage, provided?"
we could improve it as we ought, I believe moil of
my readers would be long in canjectiiriagj what;
poffible advantage could ever fall to our ■ ;':iare.-
However, it is certain, that all the regular feeds of
party and faction among us are entirely rooted out,.
and if any new ones mall fpring up, they muft be
of equivocal generation, without any feed at all ; :
and will juftly be imputed to a degree of ftupidiry
beyond even what we have been ever charged •
with upon the fcore of our- birth-place and ch-
mate.
The parties in this kingdom (including thofe of.
modern date) are, nrfr, of thofe who have been
charged or fufpecled to favour the pretender ; and
thofe who were zealous oppofers of him. Seconda-
ry, of thofe who were for and again ft a toleration
of DifTenters by law. Thirdly, .of high and dew
B 3 church ;
it THE DRAPIER's LETTERS.
church ; or, (to fpeak in the cant of the times) of
Whig and Tory. And fourthly, of court and
country. If there be any more, they are beyond
my obfervation or politics : for as to fubaltern or
occasional parties, they have all been derivations
from the fame originals.
Now, it is manifeft, that all thefe incitements to
faction, party, and divHion are wholly removed
from among us. For as to the pretender, his caufc
is both defperate and obfolete : there are very few
now alive, who were men in his father's time, and
in that prince's intereft ; and in all others the obli-
gation of confcience hath no place * : even the Pa-
pifts in general of any fubftance or eftates, and
their priefts almoft univerfally, are what we call
Whigs in the fenfe which by that word is generally
underftood. They feel the fmart, and fee the fears
of their former wounds ; and very well know, that
they muft be made a facriiice to the leaft attempts
towards a change ; although it cannot be doubted,
that they would be glad to have their fuperftition
reftored under any prince whatfoever.
Secondly, the DhTenters are now tolerated by
law : neither do we obferve any murmurs at pre-
fent from that quarter j except thofe reafonable com-
plaints they make of perfecution, becaufe they are
excluded from civil employments ; but their num-
ber being very fmall in either houfe of parliament,
they are hot yet in a Situation to ereel: a party :
becaufe however indifferent men may be with re-
gard to religion, they are now grown wife enough
to know, that if fuch a latitude were allowed to
DhTenters, the few fmall employments left us in
cities and corporations would find other hands to
lay hold on them.
Thirdly, the difpute between high and low church
is now at an end j two thirds of the biihops having
• The obligation srifinnfrom their havingfwora jllegiance,
been
LET T E R V1L 19
been promoted in this reign, and moft of them
from England, who have beftowed all preferments
in their gift to thofe they could well confide in :
the deaneries all, except three, and many principal
thurch-livings, are in the donation of the crown :
fo that we already poffefs fuch a body of clergy,
as will never engage in controverfy upon that anti-
quated and exploded fubject.
Lailly, as to court and country parties, fo fa-
mous and avowed under moft ieigns in Englifh
parliaments ; this kingdom hath not for feveral
years pafb been a proper fcene whereon to exercife
inch contentions ; and is now lefs proper than e-
ver ; many great employments for life being in di-
ftant hands, and the reverfions diligently watched
and fecured ; the temporary ones of any inviting
value are all beftowed elfewhere as faft as they drop,
and the few remaining are of too low coniidera-
tion to create contefts about them, except among
younger brothers, or tradefmen like myfelf. And
therefore, to inftitute a court and country party
without materials, would be a very new fyitern in
politics, and what I believe was never thought on
before ; nor unlefs in a nation of idiots can ever
iucceed, for the moft ignorant Irifh cottager will
not fell his cow for a groat.
Therefore I conclude, that all party and faclion
with regard to public proceedings are now extin-
guished in this kingdom * ; neither doth it appear
in view how they can poffibly revive : unlefs fome
new caufes be adminiftered, which cannot be done
without croffing the interefts of thofe who are the
greateft gainers by continuing the fame meafures.
And general calamities, without hope of redrefs,
are allowed to be the greateft uniters of mankind.
* Since this difcourfe was written, it hath appeared by experience,
that the author was much miftaken in his conjectures,
How-
20 THE DRAPIER's LETTERS.
However we muft diflike the caufes, yet this ef-
fect of begetting an univerfal concord among us in
all national debates, ar- well as in cities, corpora-
tions, and country-neighbourhoods, may keep us
at lead alive, and in a condition to eat the little
bread allowed us in peace and amity. I have heard
of a quarrel in a tavern, where all were at daggers-
drawing, till one of the company cried out, deiiring
to know the fubjeSi of the quarrel; which when.
none of them could tell, they put up their fwords,
fat down, and palled the reft of the evening in
quiet. The former part hath been our cafe, I hope
the latter will be fo too ; that we (hall fit down a-
micably together, at leaft until we have fomcthing
that may give us a title to fall out, fince nature hath
inftructed even a brood of goflings to flick together,
while the kite is hovering over their heads.
It is certain, that a firm union in any country,
where every man wifhes the fame thing with relation
to the public, may in feveral points of the greater!
importance in Tome meafure fupply the defect of
power, and even of thofe rights which are the na-
tural and undoubted inheritance of mankind. If
the univerfal with of the nation upon any point were
declared by the unanimous vote of the houfe of
Commons and a reafonable number of Lords, I
fhould think myfelf obliged in confeience to act in
my fphere according to that vote ; becaufe in alL
free nations I take the proper definition of law to be,
The -will of the majority of thofe ivho have the1 property
in land; which, if there be a monarchy, is to be
confirmed by the royal affent. And although fuch,
votes or declarations have not received fuch a con-
firmation for certain accidental reafons ; yet I think
they ought to be of much weight with the fubject,
provided they neither oppofe the King's preroga-
tive, endanger the peace of the nation, nor infringe
any law already in force : none of which however
can reafonably be fnppofed, Thus, for inftance,
if
LETTER VIL 21
if nine in ten of the houfe of Commons, and a
reafonable number of native temporal Peers, fhould
declare, that whoever received or uttered brafs coin*
except under certain limitations and fecurities,
mould be deemed as enemies to the King and the
nation ; I mould think it a heinous fin in myfelf to
act contrary to fuch a vote : and if the fame power
fhould declare the fame cenfure againft thole who
wore Indian fluffs and callicoes, or woollen manu-
factures imported from abroad, whereby this nation
is reduced to the loweftebb of mifery, I mould rea-
dily, heartily, and chearfully pay obedience ; and
to my utmofl power perfuade others to do the like ;
becaufe there is no law of this land obliging us ei-
ther to receive fuch coin, or to wear fuch foreign
manufactures,
* Upon this laft article I could humbly wifh, that
the Reverend the clergy would fet us an example by
contenting themfelves with wearing gowns and other
habiliments of Irifh drapery ; which, as it would
befome incitement to the laity, and fet many hands
to works, fo they would find their advantage in the
cheapnefs, which is a circumftance not to be ne-
glected by too many among that venerable body,
f And in order to this I could heartily defire, that
the molt ingenious artifts of the weaving trade
would contrive fome decent fluffs and filks for cler-
gymen at reafonable rates.
I have preffed feveral of our moft fubftantial bre-
thren, that the whole corporations of weavers in
filk and woollen would publifh fome propofals, (I
wifh. they would do it to bothhoufesof parliament),
inviting perfons of all degrees, and of both fexes, to-
* This hath fince been put in practice by the perfuafibns and influ-
ence of the fuppofed author j but much defeated by the moft infamous
iraud of fhopkeepers.
T This fcheme was likewife often urged to the weavers by the fup-
pofed author j but he ceuJd never prevail on theui to put it in prac-
tice,
wear
22 THE DRAPIER's LETTERS.
wear the woollen and iilk manufactures of our own
country ; entering into folemn, mutual engage-
ments, that the buyer ihall have good, fubftantial,
merchantable ware for his money, and at a certain
rate, without the trouble of cheapening. So that if
I fent a child for a piece of fluff of a particular
colour and finenefs, I mould be fare not to be de-
ceived ; or if Ihad^reafbn to complain, the corpo-
ration Ihould give me immediate. fatisfaction ; and
the name of the tradefman, who did me the wrong,
ihould be publifhed ; and warning given not to deal
with him for the future ; un-lefs the matter plainly
appeared to be a miitake : for, befide the trouble
of going from mop to fhop, an ignorant cultomer'
runs the hazard of being cheated in the price and
goodnefs of what he buys, being forced to an une=>
qual combat with a dexterous and difhonefl man<
in his own calling. Thus our goods fall under a-
general difrepuation ; and the gentry call for Englifh
cloth, or filk, from an opinion they have, (and oft-
en too juftly by their own faults), that the goodnefs
more than makes up for the difference of price.
Befides* it hath been the fottifh and ruinous
practice of us tradefmen, upon any great demand of
goods either at home or from abroad, to raife the
prices immediately, and manufacture the faid goods
more flightly and fraudulently than before.
Of thefe foul and foolim procceedings too many
inftances might be produced ; and I cannot forbear
mentioning one whereby this poor kingdom hath
received fueh a fatal blow in* the only article of
trade allowed us of any importance, that nothing
but the fuccefs of Wood's .-project could undo it.
During the late plague in France, the Spaniards,
who buy their linen-cloths in that kingdom, not
daring to venture thither for fear of infection, a
very great demand was made here for that commo-
nity, and exported. to Spain ; but, whether by the
ignorance of tlie merchants, or difhonefty of the
northern
LETTER VII. 23
northern weavers, or the eollufion of both, the
ware was fo bad, and the price lo exceffive, that
except Come (mall quantity which was fold below the
prime colt, the greateft part was returned: and I
have been told by very intelligent perfons, that if
we had been fair dealers, the whole current of the
linen-trade to Spain would have takers its courfe
from hence.
If any punifhment were to be inflicted on num-
bers of men, furely there could none be thought
too great for fuch a. race of traitors, and enemies to
God and their country ; wha; for the pr ofpect of
a little prefent gain, do not only ruin themfelves,
(for that alone would be an example to the reft, and
a bleffing to the nation), but fell their fouls to hell,
and their country to deftruction. And if the plague
could have been confined only to thofe who were
partakers in the guilt, had it travelled hither from
JLMarfeilles, thofe wretches would have died with leis
title to pity, than a highwayman going to the gal-
lows.
' But it happens very unluckily, that for fome time
paft all endeavours or proposals from private per-
iens to advance the public fervice, however honeit-
ly and innocently deiigned, have been called Fly-
ing -in the King's face ; and this, to my
knowledge, hath been the ftile of fome perfons,
whofe anceftors (I mean thole among them who
had any) and themfelves have been flying in prin-
ces faces thefe fourfcore years ; and from their own
inclinations would do fo ftill, if their intereft did
not lead them rather to fly in the face of a king-
dom, which hath given them wings to enable than
for fuch a flight.
Thus, about four years ago, when a * difcourfe was
publifhed, endeavouring to perfuade our people to
wear their own wollen manufactures, full of the
* The pr< p fal for the universal ufe of Irifh manuf-fturcs.
moil
s4 THE DRAPIER's LETTERS.
moft dutiful expreflions to the King, and without
the leafl party-hint, it was termed flying in the
King's face\ the printer was profecuted in the mari-
ner we all remember, and I hope it will fomewhere
be remembered further, the jury kept eleven hours,
and fcnt back nine times, till they were under the
necefiity of leaving the prisoner to the mercy of the
court, by a fpecial verdict ; the f judge on the
bench invoking God for his witnefs, when he af-
ferted, that the author's defign was to bring in the
Pretender.
And thus alfo, my own poor endeavours to pre-
vent the ruin of my country by the admiffioiv of
Wood's coin were called by the fame perfons, flying
in the King** face : which I direclly deny : for I
cannot allow that vile reprefentation of the royal
countenance in William Wood's adulterate copper
to his facred Majefty's face ; or if it were, my fly-
ing was not againft the impreffion, but the bafenefs
of the metal ; becaufe I well remembered, that the
image which Nebuchadnezzar commanded to be fet
up for all men to fall down and worfhip it, was not
of copper but pure gold. And I am heartily forry,
we have fo few royal images of that metal among
us ; the light whereof, although it could hardly
increafe our veneration for his Majefty, which is
already fo great, yet would very much enliven it
with the mixture of comfort and fatisfaction.
Alexander the Great would fuffer no ftatuary,
except Phidias, to carve his image in itone or me-
tal. How muft he have treated fuch an operator
as Wood, who goes about with fackfulls of drols,
odioufly mifreprefenting his prince's countenance ;
and would force them by thoufands upon every one
of us at above fix times the value ?
But, notwithstanding all that hath been objected
by William Wood himielf, together with his fa-
f Judge Whitftud,
vourers
LETTER VII. 25
vourers, abettors, fupporters, either public or pri-
vate ; by thole who connive at this project, or dif-
courage and difcountenancc his oppofers for fear
of Ieffening their favour, or hazarding their em-
ployments ; by thofe who endeavour to damp the
ipirit of the people raifed again ft this coin, or check
the honeft zeal of fuch as by their writings or dif-
courfes do all they can to keep it up ; by thofe fof-
teners, fweeteners, compounders, and expedient-
mongers, who fhake their heads fo ftrongly that we
can hear their pockets gingle; I did never imagine,
that in detecting the practices of fuch enemies to the
kingdom I was Jfyiug in the King's face ; or thought
they were better reprefenters of his Majeity, than
that very coin for which they are fecret or open ad-
vocates.
If I were allowed to recite only thofe wiflies ( f
the nation, which may be in our power to attain ;
1 think they might be iummed up in thefe few fol-
lowing
Fiift, That an end miglit.be put to our appre-
henrions of Wood's halfpence, and to any danger
of the like deftructive fcheme for the future.
Secondly, That halfpence might be coined in
this kingdom by a public mint with due limita-
tions.
Thirdly, That the fenfe of both houfes of parlia-
ment, at leaft of the houfe of Commons, were
declared by fome unanimous and hearty votes
againft wearing any lilk or woollen manufactures
imported 'from abroad ; as likewife againft wearing
Indian iiiks or callicoes, which are forbidden under
the higheit penalties in England : and it behoves
us to take example from fo wife a nation : becaufe
we are under a greater neceiTity to do fo, fince we
are not allowed to export any woollen manufactures
of our own ; which is the principal branch of fo-
reign trade in England,
Vol. IV. G Fourthly.
26 THE DRAPlER's LETTERS.
Fourthly, That feme effectual methods may be
taken to civilize the poorer fort oi natives in all thofe
parts of this kingdom, where the Iriih abound, by
jntroducinar among them our language and cuftoms ;
for want of which they live in the utmoft ignorance,
barbarity, and poverty, giving themfelves wholly
up to idlenefs, naitineis, and thievery, to the very
great and juft reproach of top many landlord??
And it I had in me the leaft fpirit of a projector,
I would engage, that this might be effected in a few
years at a very cpnhderable charge.
Fifthly, That due encouragement fhould be gi-
ven to agriculture ; and a flop put to that pernici-
ous practice of graziers ingroffihg vail quantities of
land, fometimes at great diftauce; whereby the
country is extremely depopulated.
Sixthly, That the defects in thofe acts for plant-
ing f oreft-trees might be fully fupplied, iince they have
hitherto been wholly effectual ; except about the de-
mefnes of a few gentlemen : and even there in ee-
neral very uniliiiruhy made, and thriving accord-
ingly. Neither hath there yet been due care taken
to preferve what is planted, or to inclofe grounds ;
not one hedge in a hundred coming to maturity for
want of ikill and induftrv. The neglect of coDims
woods cut down hath likewife been of very evil
confequences. And it men were restrained from
that unlimited liberty of cutting down their own
woods before the proper time^, as they are in fome
other countries, it would.be a mighty benefit to the
kingdom. For, I believe, there is not another ex-
ample in Europe of inch a prodigious quantity of
excellent timber cut down in fo ihort a time, with
fo little advantage to the country either in ihipping
or building.
I may add that abfurd practice of cutting turf
without any regularity ; whereby great quantifies of
reftorable land are made utterly defperate, many
thouiiuids of cattle deilroyed, the turf more diffi-
cult
L E T T E R VII.
cult to come at arid carry home, and lefs ft fof-
burning: the air made unwholefome by ftagnating;
pools and marches ; and the very fight of fuch pla-
ces often-live to tho'e who ride by. Neither iliould
that odious aiftom be allowed of cutting fcraws (as
they call them), which is flaying of the green fur-
face of the ground to cover their cabins, or make
up their ditches-; ibmetimes in fhallow foils*, where
all is gravel within a few inches ; and Ibmetimes in
low ground, with a thin green fward, and Hough y
Underneath: which Lift turns all into a bog by th s
r hmanagemcru. And I have heard from very
ikilful countrymen) that by thHe two practices in
turf and fcraws the kingdom lc&th ibnie hundreds
of acres of profitable 3 md every year; besides the
irreparable lofs of many ikirts o£ bogs; which have
a green coat of grafs* and vet are mangled for turf :
ana bcildes the want of canals by regular cutting,,
which would not only be a nrea Rvenience for
Bringing their turf home at an ear? rate, but like-
wife render even the larger bogs mare dry and fafe
for fammer-pafi:ure.
T-hefe, and fome other {peculations of the 1:
kind, I had intended to publifh in a particular di£
courfe againit tliis iVlbon of parliament : beeaufe
in fome" periods of my life, I had opportunity and
curioilty to obierve, from what caufes ■ thole great
errors in every branch of country-management have
arifen ; of which I have now ventured to relate but
few out of very many; whereof feme perhaps
would not be mentioned without giving oilence,
which I have endeavoured by all poflible means to
avoid. And for the lame reaion I chofd to acid
here the little I thought proper to fay on this fub-
ject.
But, as to the lands of thofe who are perpetual
abientees, I do not fee any probability of their be-
iejg ever improved. In former times their tenants
hat at eafy rents ; but for fome years pall they have
C z been.
o
THE DRAPIEIVs LETTERS.
been, generally fpeaking, more terribly racked by
the dexterity of mercilefs agents from England, than
even thofe who held under the i'evereft landlords
here. I was afTured upon the place by great num-
bers of credible people, that a prodigious eftate in
the county of Cork being let upon leafes for lives,
and great fines paid, the rent was fo high, that the
tenants begged leave to fnrrender their leafes, and
were content to lofe their fines.
The cultivating and improvement of land is cer-
tainly a fubject worthy of the higheft inquiry in a-
ny country, but efpecially in ours ; where we are
fo ftrangely limited in every branch of trade that
can be of advantage to us, and utterly deprived of
thofe which are of the greateft importance ; where-
of I defy the mo ft learned man in Europe to pro-
duce me an example from any other kingdom in the
world : for we are denied the benefit which God
and nature intended to us ; as manifeftly appears by
our happy iltuation for commerce, and the great
number of our excellent ports. So that, I think,
little is left us beiides the cultivating our own foil,
encouraging agriculture, and making great planta-
tions of trees, that we might not be under the necef-
fity of fending for corn and bark from England,
and timber from other countries. This would in-
creafe the number of our inhabitants, and help to
confume our natural products as well as manufac-
tures at home. And I fhall never forget what I
once ventured to fay to a great man in England,
that few politicians, with all their fchemes, are half
fo ufeful members of a commonwealth, as an honeft
farmer ; who, by ikilfully draining, fencing, ma-
nuring, and planting, hath increafed the intrinfic
value of a piece of land ; and thereby done
cv perpetual fervice to his country ; which it is
a great controversy whether any of the former ever
did, iince the creation of the world ; but no con-
troverfy
L E T T E R VII. 29
If overly at all, that ninety-nine in a hundred have
done abundance of mifc&ef.
Although, in the foregoing letterr, Dr Swift till? S of 3'ber'y in a
ftrain highly becoming a v. arm and zealous defender of ihe rights of
his countrv, .v. h i ch • h e mair.ta ns .'.;; ;i gr« at foFce ot law) reafon. jm-
tie. and eloquence j he Jicver onre deviates, v,-. the whole courle ot
bis arguments, from the diflinguiihing ch.at-.-cleri/rits of the moft
lovai iu. eft -y wl.a.evcr might to the centr ry have teen iuppofed by
a few degenerate i .uxs and fycoph >:::<■ in thefe day s : even by that fort
of people, who, as the wife Lbi r B iron e.:pie;icsit," would fet a heme
on five tor theconvct ience - f . i afting their even eggs at the thime.
However mderd i :ch was the iniquity of the times, that a rewa'd
of 300]. was o-Sered for the author of the 4. h letter, ci; icily hecaufc
he . a . rgainr>ined therein che liretty of hisnecfinfry, and declared mi
very high terms worthy of a brave and rti'chi'.e mind, that ne would
con ii ue fi m a lid faithful to his Soven iun L< rd the King, wh stever
t rn, in the vicijui-Uiles of this world, Jhfis Majer^y's affairs might pol-
fiblv take in othtr parts of his dt minions*. f fi all oniv rem rk
a this dodlrine, the contrary of which would, I think, have beep.
n, and againft his oath of allegiance, that how much lo-
e •er ir was condemn d in the 1724 i v flaves'ar.d batterers ; ifwas in
1745 fo univerfaily eflablifhed in ih< that If there had
been ocfafion for '.he people or Ireland to hive drawn the i'word in de-
fence of thefe fovereigB, (v.'h'i . befde their loyalty and affedfion Co
hi I '.: \. .r;. , ibey have man) reals ns to thank God f jr that the; e was
hot), K. George .11. would undonbteG'Jy'h-ve been fupporied in hit
right to the imperial kingdom of Ireland, let- his Majef7y"s arihiis in
o her pars oi h s dixninioru have tcken wha turn they might, by
300,-000 &s L-ravc miHtia as any to be found ihsoug.icut all Eui&pe j
even by the g and children of thofe nun fo renowned for their valor?
ous atcl .1 vemerits in;the days of K. Wiilkm 'If. As the au-
thor of the 4th letter could r:.v. be difeovered, H.iding the printer was
indicted in the ufual forms, and bn ught to the King's bench, to be
tried befo'e rliat William Whiifl dtl above" mentioned. But the no-
ble : ids to their Cfluivry -nd to the pub-lie inter. ft, would not
find the bill. Wheroipsn the Chief Juftice in a rage dijfolved thq
jury : en account of which he defervec to have b.e.T impeached by
rh^houfe of -commons ; becaufe the diflolving of a £ra..d jury, £..,
See above, p. S5. 1. 6. Swift,
The
L 3° J
e
The Drapier demolished, and fet out in
his own proper colours j being a full Con-
futation of all his Arguments againit
Mr. Wood's Halfpence.
♦
By William Wood, Efq>
Written in the year 1724.
Te good people of Ireland,.
T Make not the leaft doubt, when ye have impart
* partially weighed and considered what 1 ihall of-
fer upon the prefent occafion in my own defence,
and againft your Drapier : when ye ihall make an
exact affay of the arguments on both fides between
him and me ; and, laitly, when ye ihall obferve, as.
I ihall point it out, the abulive and reproachful lan-
guage with which he has treated me ; I fay, as I
jaid before, I make not the lean: doubt, but ye will,
all to a man-reject him, and embrace ine with open
arms.
In his firft letter to the tradefmen, fhopkeepers,
farmers, and common people in general of the
kingdom of Ireland, [above, p. 218. *J he begins
with the wheedling preamble of Brethren, friends,
countrymen, and fellow- fu bj eels. A loving begin-
ning indeed ! But F wonder which of us two loves
you beft ; he that is getting you no money at all, or
I who am this prefent providing more money for
you than you ihall know what to do with. O fad !
* The pages referred to la this paper are in Vol, 3d,
o
THE DRAPIER DEMOLISHED 31
() fad ! I am really concerned for the poorDrapier.
Soon after he proceeds, and fays.
u It is a great fault among you, that when a per-
*c fon writes with no other intention than to do you
" good, you will not be at the pains to read his ad-
" vices/' [p. 220.]
Artful enough indeed 1 This he did to draw you
in like fo many gudgeons, to fwallow his falfe ar-
guments ; and you fee he has accomplished his end
at laft ; for had ye not read his letters, ye might
have had the benefit of my halfpence thefe five or
fix months paft.
" Now, you muft know, that the halfence and
farthines in England pafs for very little more
than they are worth ; and if you fhould beat
them to pieces, and fell them to the braiier, you
would notlofe much above a penny in a ihilling.
But Mr. Wood made his halfpence of fuch bale
metal, and {o much fmaller than the Engliih
ones, that the braiier would hardly give you a-
bove a penny of good money for a iliiliing of
his." [p. 221.]
Ay, would he give three pence. But one may
fee his malice here with half an eye. He does not
tell of the vaft expence and trouble I am at in coin-
ing ; the number of clerks I keep in pay ;
how much I was out of pocket in getting my
patent ; the great expenfe I {hall be at in f hipping
them to Ireland ; wh-lch muft, in the nature of
things, be a vaft drawback to the profit which I
ought to have for my trouble ; and therefore it can-
not be fuppofed I can either put as much or as good
copper in the halfpence for Ireland, as thofe for
England-. But, good Lord ! is not a halfpenny a
halfpenny when once it is called fo ; and, if it paf-
fes for a halfpenny, can you expect any more ?
Good people, never mind one word he fays, though
he fells you a dozen hats at five (hillings a-piece,
which is three pound, is but five ihillmgsin my mo-
ney j this is perfect tranfubftantiation to juggle you
out
a
a
ic
a
a
ti
94
a
a
(c
22 THE DRAPIER- DEMOLISHED.
out of your fenfes three pound is but five mil-
lings ! Well, if this be his computation, I have
clone.
" This feme Mr. Wood was able to attend con-
" ftamiy for his own mtereft ;" [and why mould
not I ?] ; c* he is an Kngliihman, and had great
*v friends," [God be thanked for that] ; " and it
94 feems knew very weii where to give money to
" thofe that would fpeak to others, that could
14 fpeak to the King, and would tell a fair ftorv."
[I grant that, and what would he infer ? 1 Then lie
proceeds : " If his Majefty the King faw that it
i; would utterly ruin the kingdom of Ireland, he
" would fhew his diipleafure to fomebocry or other.
'' But a word to the wife is enough." [We know
his meaning by his mumping ; he had as well fpo-
ken what he thought, like an honeft man. He
proceeds] : '* Licit of yen niu-ft have heard with
" what anger our hon jurable hotife of Commons
" received an account of this Wood's patent.
" There were iVveral fine fpeeches made upon it,
" and plain proofs, that it was all a wicked cheat, .
" from the bottom to the top ; and feveral fmart
" votes were printed, which that fame Wood had
u the anurance to aniwer likewife in print, and in
*' xd confident a way, as if he were a better man
tC than b«iE whole* parliament put together." [p. 221.
222.] i
The parliament was angry made fpeeches
found me to be a wicked cheat— -and I anfwered as
if I had been a better man than the whole parlia-'
ment Weil, I find this Drapier will fay any
thing ; but I am very glad all the kingdom of Ire-
land knows to the contrary. Let the Drapier anfwer
me only thefe three queftions : Where did this par-
liament lit? And where- are. the fpeeches? And
where is my aniwer ?
" The common foldier, when he rroes to the
" market or akkoufe, will oiler this money, "
[meaning
(I
(I
THE DRAPIER DEMOLISHED. 33
[[meaning my halfpence] ; " and if it be refufed, per-
" haps he will fwagger, and hector, and threaten
** to beat the butcher or alewife," [threaten in-
deed ! he will do it in earned], " or take the goods
" by force, and throw them the bad halfpence."
[Why fhould he not ? Is it any robbery if he pays
them !] " in this and the like cafes, the fhopkeep-
er, or victualler, or any other traddman, has no
more to do, than to demand ten times the price
of his goods, if it is to be paid in Wood's mo-
money ; for example, twenty pence for a quart
of ale" [p. 223.] The devil is in his confidence,
twenty pence for a quart of ale ! I believe fuch ano-
ther propofal was never lince Adam. To conflder
all other things in proportion, what mifchief would
this occafion ? That is, fifteen {hillings a-bottle for
claret, at eighteen pence a-bottle ; for a flaik of
Burgundy five and forty millings ; fifty fhillings a-
day for a coach ; ten millings a dinner for a twelve-
penny ordinary ; thirty iliillings a-day for a chair ;
ten pence a frefh egg ; live pence a halpenny roll ;
two pence halfpenny for a pint of fmail beer. In
ftiort, by his advice, victuallers, vintners, and
tradesfolk would foon get all the money of the
kingdom into their own hands, mould they all fol-
low the pot-of-ale example. And now to confider
the poor, they would be undone by the Drapier's
advice ; the butcher would have eighteen pence for
a fheep's head ; the baker ten {hillings for a twelve-
penny loaf; and thus would it be in proportion as
to all their other exigencies. No, no, rather take
my advice ; twopence a quart > and my hlefing.
In p. 223. he denies that my halfpence are lawful
money of England or Ireland. I fuppofe then he
would have them lawful money of Scotland or
Wales; for they mu ft be lawful fomev here. For
does he think, under the fcarcity of money we find
ai prefent, that we can afford to let fouricore and
ten
(t
a
34 THE DRAPIER DEMOLISHED.
tea thoufand pound lie dead ? I need no other ar-
gument to ihew what a friend he is to the public.
i( Thy fay, 'Squire Conolly hath fixteen thou-
u fand pounds a-year : now, if he fends for his
rent to town, as it is likely he doth, he mult
c have two hundred and fifty horfes to bring up
his half years rent." [p. 224.]
Suppofe he muft, where is the great hardfhip ?
If a man of iixteen thoufand a-year cannot afford
two hundre and fifty horles to draw his money, he
deferves to want it. Til engage his under-tenants
will lay it down at his door, and it ilia.ll not cod
him a farthing; for the carriage.
" Thefe halfpence, if they once pafs, will foon
*' be counterfeited, becaufe it may be cheaply done,
""the ftutF is fo bale. The Dutch likewife will
" probably do the fame thing, and fend them over-
i ' to us to p'-.y far our goods." [p. 2 2a .]
The ftutf is good itarf, let him lay what he will ;
and the halfpence are good halfpence, and I will
ftand by it : if I made them of haver, it would
be the fame thing to this grumbler. As for
their being counterfeit, fare they counterfeit gold
and illver, and can one help that ? for there ever
have been rogues of coiners in the world, and will
be to the end of it. As. for the Dutch, it is time
enough to complain when they do coin. I am cer-
tain they have not coined one halfpenny as yet ;
and if they ihould, I (hall take care to ftock you
fb well, that you fhali have no occaiion for theirs ;
fo that they may carry them home again if they
pleafe.
il It would be very hard, if all Ireland mould be
" put into one fcale, and this forry fellow Wood
" into the other; that Mr. Wood and his half-
" pence ihould weigh down this whole kingdom,
6i bv which England uets above a million of ^ood
i( money every year clear into their pockets ; and
44 that/.
r
ti
it
THE DRAPIER DEMOLIHED. 35
P that is more than theEngliih do by all the world
ct beiides." [p. 225.]
Parti riant monies But I beg pardon for talk-
ing to him in a language which he does not under-
stand.
" A famous law-book, called The mirror oj
U jtffirce, difcouriing of the charters, (or laws), or-
<; dained by our ancient kings, declares the law
** to be as follows : it was ordained, that no king
" of this realm ihould change, impair, or amend,
" or make any money than of gold or {liver., with-
out the affent of all the counties ; that is, as my
Lord Coke [1 . Inft. 576.] lays, without the af-
fent of parliament." [p. 226.]
Then he concludes, according to cuftom, with
his fine flattering fpeeches.
" I will now, my dear friends, to fave you the
" trouble, fet before you in ihort what the law
** obliges you to do, and what it does not oblige
l< vou to." [This Drapier is an excellent lawyer,
I wonder he is not made a Lord Chancellor]].
" Firft, you are obliged to take all money in
payments which is coined by the King, and is of
the Engliih ftandard or weight, provided it be of
•'*' gold or lilver.
" Secondly, you are not obliged to take any mo»
<{ ney which is not of gold or filver.
" Tnirdly.nvuch lefs are we obliged to take thoie
Ci vile halfpence of that lame Wood.
" Therefore, my friends, ftand to it one and all :
" refufe this filthy train. It is no treaion to rebel
" againft Mr. Wood. His Majefly, in his pa-
u tent, obliges nobody to take thefe halfpence."
[p. 229.]
So then, at this rate, they are coined for no-
body, bv fomebodv; and fomebodv is to get no-
thing by nobody. I have made a fine hand of my
patent and coinage. Ye fee, Gentlemen, the force
of that argument which the Drapier offers ; but I
find
i i
36 THE DRAPIER DEMOLISHED.
find logic is not his talent. Thus have I, with
great patience, gone through this injurious piece or"
fatire upon myfelf contained in this iirit letter. But
knowing that the belt undertakers have always met
with enemies and detractors, I comfort myfelf that
I have far defeated this malicious author; that you
are all convinced, I am now for all your goods ;
and though a perfect ftranger to the country of
Ireland, yet a little time will ihew what hiduftry and
pains it has cod me, to make you a ilourifhing and
a happy people. It is my inclination to preferve a
good understanding between me and you, however
wicked people may endeavour to interpoie. Before
J conclude, I have one complaint more : I am told,
that pitiful, malicious, inlidious, undermining,
fcribbling Drapier let on a parcel of tattered, fil-
thy, Irilh, buttermilk, potatoe fcoundrcls, to car-
ry my effigies about in wood, and afterwards hang
it at Stephen's Green, [p. 37.] for which I
hope, when the parliament fits, to have ample fa-
tisfaction. I am glad that none of the gentry of
Ireland were concerned in that abominable pro-
ecfiion.
I am your beft friend,
*&**
%
C 37 3
A full and true account of the folemn pro-
ceflion to the Gallows, at the execution
of William Wood, Efq; and Hardware-
man *.
Written in the year 17*4.
SOME time ago> upon a report fpread, that
William Wood, hardwareman, was concealed
in his brother-in-law's f houfe here in Dublin, a
great number of people of different conditions, and
of both fexes, crouded about the door, deter-
minately bent to take revenge upon him, as a coin-
er and a counterfeiter. Amongit the reft, a cer-
tain curious perfon ftanding in a corner obferved,
that they all difcovered their refentments in the
proper terms and expreffions of their feveral trades
and callings; whereof he wrote down as many as
fee could remember ; and was pleafed to communi-
cate them to me, with leave to publifh them for the
ufe of thofe who at any time hereafter may be
at a lofs for proper words wherein to exprefs
their good difpofitions towards the faid William
\\rood.
* In th:s piece the author makes the fl-vera! artificers at:end Wil-
liam Wood (represented by a log of timber) to 'he gallows, and each
tracefnan oprefTes lis resentment ;n the terms of his proper calling.
Tnen frUcws the proceffiOB, mod: humouronfly defcribed. The
vhwle is a piece of ridicule too powerful lor the ftrojjgeit gravity to
with ft and. Oney.
■f One Molvreux an ironmonger.
Vol. IV. D Tfce
38 AN ACCOUNT OF
. The people cried out to have him delivered into
their hands/
Says the parliament- man. Expel him the houfe.
2d parliament-man. I fecond that motion.
Cook. I'll bafle him.
2d Cook. I'll give him his belly full.
3d Cook. 1*11 give him a lick in the chops.
Ath. Cook. I'll fowce him.
Drunken-man. I'll beat him as long as I can Jland.
Bookieller. Til turn over a new leaf with. him..
Saddler. Ill pummel liim.
.Glazier. I'll make the light fhine through him.
Grocer. I'll pepper him.
Groom. I'l curry his hide.
'Pothecafy. Til pound him.
2d 'Pocheeary. I'll beat him to mummy.
Sthoolmafter. I'll make him an example,
Rabbetcatcher. Til ferret him..
Paviour. I'll thump "him.
Coiner I'll give him a rap.
AVHIG. D'j\vn with him.
TORY. Up with him.
Miller; I'll dafli out his orinders,
2d Miller. Dum him.
Boatman. Sink him.
Scavenger. Throw him in the kennel.
Dyer. I'll beat him black and blue.
Bagnioman. I'll make the houfe too hot for him.
Whore. Pox rot him.
2d Whore. Let me alone with him.
3d "Whore. Clap him up.
Multard-maker. I'll have him by the nofe*
Curate. I'll make the devil come out of him,
Popiih-prieft. .I'll fend him to the devil.
D an cing-m after. Ill teach him better manners,
2d Dancmg-mafter. I'll make him cut a caper
three ftorv hmh.
Farmer. I'll thrajb him.
Tailor. I'll lit on hhJ&irU,
2d'
WOOD'S EXECUTION. 39
ad Tailor. Hell is too good for him.
3d Tailor. I'll pink his doublet.
4th Tailor. I'll make his a > make buttons,
Baiketmaker. I'll hamper him.
Fiddler. I'll have him bv the ears.
2d Fiddler. I'll ban<* him to fome tune.
Barber. I'll have him by the beard.
2d Barber. I'll pull his whifkcrs.
3d Barber. I'll make his hair ftanel on end.
4th Barber. I'll comb hillocks.
Tinker. I'll try what metal he's made of.
Cobler. I'll make an end of him.
Tobacconist. I'll make him fmoke.
2d Tobacconift. I'll make him fet up his pipes.
Goldiinder, I'll make himftink.
Kackney-coachman, III make him know hi*
driver.
2d Hackney-coachman. I'll drive him to the
devil.
Butcher. I'll have a limb of him.
2d Butcber. Let us blow h'vi up.
3d Butcher. My knife in him.
Nurfe. I'll fwaddle him.
Anabaptiit. We'll dip the rogue in the pond,
Oftler. I'll rub him dawn.
Shoemaker. Set him in the flecks.
Banker. I'll kick him to ha If crowns.
2d Banker. Ill pay him off.
Bowler. I'll have a rubber with him.
Gamefter. I'll make his bones rattle.
Bo dice maker. Ill lace his fides.
Gardener. I'll make him water his plants. ■
Alewife. I'll reckon with him.
Cuckold. I'll make him pull in his horns.
Old woman. I'll mumble him.
Hangmen, VWihrottle him.
D 2 But
40 AN ACCOUNT OF
But at laft the people, having received amaranccs,
that William Wood was neither in the houfe nor
kingdom, appointed certain commiffioners to hang
him in effigie ; whereof the whole ceremony and
procefiion deferve to be tranfmitted to pofterity.
Firft, the way was cleared by a detachment of
the blackguards, with fhort ftick in their hands,
and cockades of paper in their hats.
Then appeared William Wood, Efq: reprefented
to the life by an old piece of carved timber, taken
from the keel of a Ihip. Upon his face, which
looked very difmal, were fixed at proper diftances
feveral pieces of his own coin, to denote who he
was, and to fignify his calling and his crime. He
wore on his head a peruke, very artfully com-
poled of four old mops; a halter about his neck
lerved him for a cravat. His cloaths were indeed
not fo neat and elegant as is ufual with perfons in his
condition, (which fome cenforious people imputed to
affectation), for he was covered with a large mgg
of feveral colours in patchwork : he was borne up-
on the fhoulders of an able-bodied porter. In his
march by St. Stephen's green, he often bowed on
both fides to fhew his refpecls to the company; his
deportment was grave ; and his countenance, tho'
iomewhat penfive, was very compofed.
Behind him followed his father alone, in a long
mourning cloak, with- his hat over his nofe, and a
handkerchief in his left hand to wipe the tears from
his face.
Next in order marched the executioner himfelf in
perfon ; whole venerable afpe<ft drew the eyes of
the whole aftembly upon him ; but he was further
diflinguiihed by a halter, which he bore upon his
left moulder as the bage of his office.
Then followed two perfons ; the one reprefent-
ing William Wood's brother-in-law ; the other a
certain faddler, his intimate friend, whofe name I
forget. Each had a froaU kettle in his hand,
wherein
"WOOD'S EXECUTION. 4*
wherein was a reafonable quantity of the new hair-
pence. At proper periods they ihook their kettles,
which matte a melancholy found, like the ringing
of a knell for their partner and confederate.
After thefe followed feveral officers, whofeaflift-
ance was necefiliry for the more decent performance
of the great work in hand.
The proceffion was clofed with an innumerable
croud of people, who frequently fent out loud
huzzas ; which were cenfured by wifer heads as a
mark of inhumanity, and an ungenerous triumph
over the unfortunate, without duly coniidering the
various viciflitudes of human life. However, as-
it becomes an impartial hiftorian, I will nor con-
ceal one obfervation, that Mr. Woodhimfelf ap^
pcared wholly unmoved, without the leait altera-
tion in his countenance ; only when he came with-
in fight of the fatal tree, which happened to be of
the fame fpecies of timber with his own perfon, he
feemed to be fomewhat peniive.
At the place of execution he appeared undaunt-
ed, nor was fcen to flied a tear. He made, no re-
finance, but fubmitted himfelf with great resigna-
tion to the hangman, who was indeed thought to
life him with too much roughnefs, neither killing
him nor aiking him pardon. Mis dying SPEECH
was printed, and deferves to be written in letters of
GOLD. Being a iked whether it were his own true-
genuine SPEECH, he did not deny it.
Thofe of the fofter fex, who attended the cere-
mony, lamented that fo comely and well- timbered
a man mould come to fo untimely an end. He
hung but a ihort time ; for upon feeling his breaft, .
they found it cold and ftiif .
It is ftrange to think, how this -melancholy fpec-
tacle turned the hearts of the people to compaflion.
When he was cut down, the body was carried
through the whole city to gather contributions for
his wake ; and alLforts of people ihewed their li-
D 3 berality
42 AN ACCOUNT OF, &c.
berality according as they were able. The ceremo-
ny was performed In an alehoufe of diftinction, and
in a manner fuitable to the quality of the deceafed.
While the attendants were difcourfing about his fu-
neral, a worthy member of the afiembly flood up,
and propofed, that the body fhould be carried out
the next day, and burned with the fame pomp and
formalities ufed at his execution ; which would pre-
vent the malice of his enemies, and all indignities
that might be done to his remains. This was a-
greed to ; and, about nine o'clock, on the follow-
ing morning there appeared a fecond proceflion.
But, burning not having been any part of the fen-
tence, authority thought fit to interpofe, and the
eorpfe was refcued by the civil power.
We hear the body is not yet interred ; which oc-
cafions many fpeculations. But, what is more won-
derful, k is pofitively affirmed by many who pretend
to have been eye-witneffes, that there does not appear
the leaft alteration in any one lineament or feature
of his countenance ; nor vifible decay in his whole
frame, further than, what had been made by worms
long before his execution. The folution of whick
difficulty, I fhall leave among naturalifts.
Some
C 43 ]
Some Confiderations on the Attempts to pafs
Mr. Wood's brass money in Ireland.
By a Lover of his Country.
FT is a melancholy confideration, to fee <c the fe-
•*- " veral refolutions and addrefTes of both houfe9
*' of parliament of Ireland, during their late {q{-
fion, the late addrefs of his Majefty's juftices and
privy council of that kingdom, and the petition
of the county of the city of Dublin ;" whereby
the unanimous fenfe of this nation, and " the great
•* apprehenfions they were under, from importing
and uttering copper halfpence and farthings in
Ireland, by virtue of the patent granted to
William Wood," have been reprefented in the
ftrongeft terms : I fay, it is a melancholy confede-
ration, to fee the force of all thefe reprefentations
eluded by the petitions of a fingle perfon, fuch as
Mr. Wood.
If juftice flood on the fide of this fingle perfon,
it ought to give good men pleafure to fee that right
mould take place ; but when, on the contrary, the
commonweal of a whole nation, the quieting the
minds of a people diffracted with apprehenfion of
the utmoft danger to their properties, nay, the pre-
fervation of the purity of their laws, is overborne
by private intereft, what good man but mud la-
ment fuch an unhappy if ate of affairs ?
And fince the matter was of this importance,
and feemed to carry with it the teftimony of hea-
ven, in the univerfal cry of the people, how could
any particular members of a community, which had
thus with one voice deprecated the evil, with any
fhew
ti
((
4(
ft
M
a
a
44 ConfideYations on the Attempts
mew of reafon take upon them the rifle of any mif-
carriage in a trial, in a fubordinate court ?
It was to our gracious Sovereign, that all thefe
addrefles and petitions were prefented : it was into
his fatherlv hands the whole nation committed the
care of their came ; and it would have been the
higheft piece of arrogance for any perfon to have
prefumed to take upon themfelves a ftiare in that
truft, which was only repofed in his Majefty's hands.
It is no wonder therefore, " that every one was
* guarded with caution, againft giving any advice
*' or opinion in this matter of irate ;" for which
reafon they ought to " apprehend great danger to
themfelves from meddling in it."
Though " this proceeding may feem extraordi-
nary ;" yet it being on a mo ft extraordinary
matter, on a matter of fuch importance, as feemed
to involve the civil rights and properties of a whole
nation in the ifliie of it ; on a matter wherein the
Lords and Commons were complainants, and the
King immediately concerned, not only as general"
father of his people, but alfo as particular and on-
ly truftee, in whom his people repofed entire con-
fidence to redrefs the grievances complained of; was-
it not entirely reafonable and fit, that every particular-
perfon of this kingdom mould reft upon what was
done by the whole body of the people duly afleni-
bled in parliament, and not arrogantly afliime to
themfelves a power of putting the fate of this na-
tion to an iffue before twelve men ?
Since then it plainly appears, that this matter is
of fuch a high nature, that no particular perfon
ought to have intermeddled in it ; it is to be pre-
fumed, that the non-appearance of perfons u to*
" fupport the united fenfe of both houfes of par-
" liament of Ireland," can never be conftrued as a
general diffidence, of being able to " fupport the-
" charge brought againft the patent and patentee;"
though indeed it might proceed from a general and
a
to pafs Mr. Wood's Coin* 45
a veryreafonable <c apprehension of a mifcarriage"
in this important affair ; " wherein both houfes of
" parliament had declared themfelves fo fully con-
H vinced and fatisfied, upon evidence and exami-
" nation taken in the moft folemn manner ;" that
for my part I (and fo I hope every true lover of
his country on his part) will look upon their refolu-
tions to have the fame dignity (in this cafe) with a
maxim in law, quia maxima eft corum dignitas, et
certijfima authoritaSy atque quod maxime omnibus pro-
bentur.
And therefore I don't prefume to enter the lifts,
in order to fupport the refolutions of both houfes
of parliament ; for I look upon it, that they are
" fo fure and uncontrollable, that they ought not
'* to be queftioned :" but it ihall be the bufinefs of
this paper to point out fome of the mifchiefs which
will naturally reiuk from this coinage of Mr.
Wood's, in cafe it ihould be forced upon us.
We are told, that the power of ifiuing this mo-
ney of Wood's is limited, " and without any com-
*•' puliion, and currency inforced, to be received
by fuch only as would voluntarily and wilfully
accept the fame." But then it is melancholy to
behold, that this patent is explained to be obligato-
ry " on all his Majefty's officers and minifters," to
receive the fame.
By this means there is a foundation laid for the
molt unheard-of confufion that ever was introdu-
ced into the bufinefs of a nation ; for here is efta-
biilhed a fpecies of money, made of the bafeit me-
tal, which none in employments under his Majefty
mult refufe in payments to the crown or to them-
felves, and yet all the reft of his fubjecls are at
liberty to refufe the fame in payments to be made
to them, either by his Majefty, or by any other
perfon.
Thus the revenue of the crown will be highly
prejudiced, by the want of intrinilc value in the
coin
46 Confide rations on the df tempts
coin with which it is paid ; and the army and ail
others in emploments under his Majefty, are the
perfons, who, in the firft place, muft bear the bur-
then of this mifchief. For if they are the only per-
fons who are obliged to receive this coin as current
money, it is to be prefumed that no other perfons
will receive the fame but wkhconfiderable allowance
for the difference between the brafs money, and that
made of gold and iilver.
And even with a confiderahle allowance, it will
be hard to conceive how this brafs money will
iind any degree of currency in the world, with-
out the affiftance of a fct of men, who may pro-
bably raife great eftates in this unfettled courfe of
•affairs ; but fuch a fet of people ought never to be
encouraged by a wife government, for they will
make their fortunes by the lafles of good fubjects,
and by preying on the revenue of the prince : and
yet thole huckltcrs, or money jobbers, will be
found necefJary if this brafs money is made current
in the exchequer.
To fhew in fome meafure the proportion of thrs
mifchief to his Majefty 's revenue, and to thofe in
immediate offices under him ; it mull be confider-
ed, that the grofs revenue of this kingdom is about
500,0001. per annum ; out of which muft be de-
ducted the charge of collection and drawbacks ;
which, to be fure, the feveral collectors, and thofe
who are to receive the drawbacks will take care to
receive in Sterling money ; about 80,000 1. per an-
num ; and there will remain for the difcharge of
the civil and military lifts, pennons, &c. 420,000!.
per annum, which fum, it is probable, ifTues out of
the treafury by monthly payments of about 35,0001.
per month; for otherwife the current cafh in this
nation could not poffibly pay the revenue, and ferve
to carry on even the little buflnefs of this country,
for it hath never been computed that our current
coin amounts to more than 50,000 1. fo that if
40,000 1.
to pafs Mr. Wood's Coin. 47
40,000 1. of Mr. Wood's brafs money is thrown
in upon ns, (even admitting that no more of this
fpecies mould be brought in), it is manifefl that
that fum. will be near one twelfth of the whole
coin in the nation ; and more than one month's
pay of the civil and military lifts, and pennons, &c.
of this kingdom.
If this fum mould ftagnate in the treafury, it is
certain there will be no greater lofs (immediately
brought) by this coin to the revenue, than the mo-
ney that there lies dead amounts to : but if it is
hTued in monthly payments to the army, and other
his Majefty's officers and minifters, as in all proba-
bility it muft : then this coin, being compofed of a
bafe metal, current only in the exchequer, where
it is received at an imaginary value, of at leaft 60
per cent, more than the real value of the material,
it will be mddenly paid back again to the col-
lectors and by that means pafs through the trea-
sury, at leaft three times in every year ; for
there we are told, it is to meet with no let or mo-
leftation.
And feeing the currency of this money is not
inforced on any other of his Majefty's fubjecls, it
is eafy to conceive, that the difference of value be-
tween this coin, and the gold and fllver, which will
be current in the nation, will be fettled by the mo-
ney-jobbers, at about 20 per cent, clifcount.
By which means alone, there will be loft in the
intrinfic value of the revenue the fum of 24,000 1.
per annum, without computing for the lofTes which
.muft ncceftarily be brought to the revenue, by the
general diffidence, which die introducing this coin
will create among the people ; all Which will be ma-
nifeftly " deftruclive of the trade and commerce of
<c the kingdom, and of dangerous confequence to
-" the properties of the fubjecl."
And yet the evil has been here computed on a
ifuppoiirion that onlv ac,ooo 1. of this money will
be
48 Corfideratiom on the Attempts
be uttered in the kingdom ; but I take it to be im*
poffible to limit the quantity that fhall be brought
in, efpecially if the importers of it have fo fure a
market for the fame as the exchequer.
For though his Majefty fhould be able to prevent
Mr. Wood from coining any more than 40,000 1.
and fhould never hereafter be prevailed upon to
grant his fpecial licence or authority to enlarge that
fum, yet it will be impoflible to prevent the impor-
tation of this fort of coin from other nations.
And there have been fuch variety of dyes made ufe
of by Mr. Wood in ftamping his money, that it
makes the difcovery of counterfeits more difficult ;
and the profit is fo great, that it will be a funic ient
temptation to our induftrious neighbours of Hol-
land to fend by large quantities of this coin to fo
fure a market as the exchequer.
And perhaps it may be a queftion among lawyers,
whether a man can be puniihed, at the King's fuit,
for counterfeiting this coin, becaufe it is not the
current coin of the kingdom ; for though thefe
halfpence are to be received as money in the exehe*
quer, yet in trade they are no better than counters,
and therefore the patent may perhaps be conitrued -
to be no more than a grant of a monopoly to make
thofe counters.
But it is worth obferving, that if this patent is fo
worded, as that his Majefty's officers, employed in
the receipt of his revenue, cannot refufe receiving
this coin, it is directly contrary to two acts of par-
liament now in force in this kingdom, and which
are to be found in the books of rates diftributed
among the officers of the revenue.
For by the act of tonnage and poundage, 14 and
15 Car. II. cap. 9. the duties thereby granted to his
Majefry and his fucceffiors, are to be paid in lawful
money of England. And by the act of excife, or
new impoft, 14 and 15 Car. II. cap. 8. it is ex-
prefsly declared and exacted, " That the feveral
" rates
e (
tt
it
a
<(
it
to pafs Mr, Wood's Coin, 49
" rates and duties of excife, and all fines, penal-
f* ties, forfeitures, or other fum, or funis of mo-
ney rated, impofed, fet, or forfeited, in and by
this act, are meant and intended to be current
and lawful money or monies of England, and
that all and every of the fame, be therefore de-
manded, received, paid, and fatisfied accord-
ingly."
By thefe acts it is manifect, that the collectors are
obliged to receive the feveral duties arifing from the
cuftom and excife, in no other money but fuch as
is current and lawful money of England ; and Mr.
Wood's halfpence and farthings not being current
or lawful money in England, or in this kingdom,
if this patent is obligatory on them to receive pay-
ments in this coin, it is contrary to acts of parlia-
ment, and therefore void in itfelf.
And if the feveral collectors of his Majefty's re-
venue in this kingdom ihould receive the faid du-
ties, or any part of them, in Mr. Wood's brafs
money, it would be afTuming to themlelves a power
to difpenfe with thofe acts of parliament, contrary
to the fenfe of both houl'es of parliament, and
contrary to their refpective oaths ; fo that it feems
highly reafonable, becaufe confonant to law, that
" the officers of the revenue Ihould give orders
<l to the inferior officers, not to receive this
«' coin."
Perhaps it will be faid, that the King hath a pow-
er to direct what coin he pleafes to be received by
the officers of his revenue, and that this patent is
in confequence of fuch a prerogative. But it is to
be hoped, that this doctrine will never be main-
tained, in favour of a coin, to which the whole
nation, as well in parliament afTembled as in their
private capacities, have {hewed a general dif-
like.
Moreover, as this cafe {lands circurrrftranced, it is
a great queiHon, whether his Majefty hath fuch a
Vol, IV, E dif.
50 Conftderations -on the Attempts
difpenfmg power: for though it mould be allowed,
that his Majefty might direct the receipt of his own
revenue in what coin he pleafes ; yet it is moft cer-
tain, that his Majeity does not intend to inforce the
currency of Wood's money among any of his fub-
jects, much lefs doth his Majefty intend to oblige
thofe who are untitled, by act of parliament to be
paid in current money of England, to receive this
money of Mr. Wood's.
And it is plain, that, by the act of excife, there
are feveral tines, penalties, and forfeitures, which,
by virtue of that act, are to be received in current
money of England, and to half thofe lines, forfei-
tures, and penalties, the informers are intitled by
virtue of the faid act : {o that if the officers mould
be obliged to receive them in brafs money, the in-
formers muft neceflarily iofe the benefit of the faid
act : and I may venture to fay, that act cannot be
repealed but by another act, to be made by King,
Lords, and Commons ; and not by a patent.
All thefe things having been, among many other
very weighty matters, laid before both houfes of
parliament of Ireland ; it is not to be wondered,
that " they reprefent, that the patent had been ob-
" tained in a clandeftine and unprecedented man-
" ner, and by notorious mifreprefentations of the
" ftate of Ireland." For what can be more clan-
deftine, than to obtain a patent with powers, not
only " highly prejudicial to his Majefty's revenue,
" definitive of the trade and commerce of the
" kingdom, and of dangerous confequence to
M the properties of the fubject," but aifo contrary
to feveral acts of parliament ? and that this was
an unprecedented attempt, at leaft in this reign,
will be readily allowed ; therefore all the repre-
fentations made of the ftate of Ireland, in order-
to obtain this patent, may with great truth be call-
ed notorious mifreprejentations.
But
t*
to pa/s Mr. Wood's Coin. 51
But it has been (aid, that his Majefty cannot
proceed againft the patentee, but according to the
known rules and maxims of law and juftice : and
God forbid that any one of this kingdom mould
advife his Majefty to fubvert or difpenfc with any
of our laws. No part of the addreiTes from the
houfes of parliament of Ireland has the leait ten*
dency this way.
For though the houfe of Commons, in their Se-
cond addrefs to his Majefty, u moft humbly befeech
<c his Majefty that he will be gracioufly pleafed to
give directions to the feveral officers intruded
with the receipt of his Majefty 5s revenue, that
they do not, on any pretence whatfoever, utter
** fuch halfpence and farthings :" yet, if his Ma-
jefty had been gracioufly pleafed to have given or-
ders, according to this humble addrefs of his peo-
ple of Ireland ; it is humbly conceived that this
would have been only an affirmance of the law of
the land, as hath been faid, and not anyway con-
trary to law.
For though his- Majefty, by " his patent under
the great feal of Great Britain, wills, requires,
and commands his lieutenant, deputy, or other
chief governor or governors of his kingdom of
Ireland, and all other officers and minifters or
his Majefty, his heirs and fuccefTbrs in England,
Ireland, or elfewhere. to be aiding and affifting
to the faid William "Wood, his executors, &c.
in the execution of all or any the powers, au-
thorities, directions, matters, or things to be
executed by him or them, or for his or their be-
nefit or advantage, by virtue, and in purfuance
of the laid indentures ;" yet it is " in all things
as becometh," &c. And this is to be expounded
by the known laws of the land, and by other parts
if the faid patent, whereby it is manifeft, that his
Majefty never intended a to in force the currency
-Ui
52 Confiderations on the Attempts, &«.
" of this money, to be received by any perfon, that
" would not voluntarily and wilfully accept the
" feme.*
Therefore, fince the people have fhewed a gene-
ral diflike of this coin, it is to be hoped, that fome
method will be found out to eafe their minds from
the diftra&ion thsv are under on this occaiion.
A ihort
L Si J
A fbort Vi.ew- of tie Stare of Ireland*
Written in the year 1727/
T AM afTuredj that it hath for fome time been
■* practifed as a method of making mens court,
when they are aiked about the rate of lands, the
abilities of tenants, the ftate of trade and manu-
Picture in this kingdom, and how their rents arc
paid, to anfwer, that in their neighbourhood all'
things are in a flouriihing condition, the rent and
purchafe of land every day incrcaiing. And if a:
gentleman happen1 to be a little more iincere in hi-:
reprefentations ; befides being locked on as no>
mil affected, he is fure to have a dozen contradict-
ors at his elbow. I think it is no manner of fecret-
why thefe queftions are fo cordially -uked. or ?<*•
obligingly anfwered.
But iince, with regard7 to the a&alrs or this &?«g~
dom, I have been ufmg all endeavours to ftibdue
my indignation ; to which indeed I am not pro-
voked by any perfonal intereft, not being the own-
er of one fpot of ground in the whole Brand ; ?
fhall only enumerate by rules generally known, and,
never contradicted, what are the true catifcs of any
country's flourifhing and growing rich ; and ther.-
examine what effects- arlfe from thole caufes in the-
kingdom of Ireland.
The firft. caufe of a kingdom's thriving i?, the
fruitfulnefs of the foil to produce the ntceflaries
and conveniences of life; not only fuhheient fer-
tile inhabitants, but for- exportation into other -
countries.
The fecond is, the induftry of the people, in
E 3 working
54 A SHORT VIEW OF THE
working tip all their native commodities to the laft
degree of manufacture.
The third is, the conveniency of fafe ports and
havens to carry out their own goods as much ma-
nufactured, and bring in thofe of others as little
manufactured, as the nature of mutual commerce
will allow.
The fourth is, that the natives fhould, as much
as poflible, export and import their goods in vef-
fels of their own timber, made in their own coun-
try.
The fifth is, the privilege of a free trade in all
foreign countries, which will permit them, ex-
cept thofe who are in war, with their own prince
or Mate.
The fixth is, by being governed only by laws
made with their own conient ; for otherwife they
are not a free people. And therefore all appeals
for juftice, or applications for favour or prefer-
ment, to another country, are fo many grievous
impover ifhments .
The feventh is, by improvement of land, encou-
ragement of agriculture, and thereby increafing the
number of their people ; without which any coun-
try, however blelTed by nature, muft continue
poor.
The eighth is, the residence of the prince, or
chief adminiftrator of the civil power.
The ninth is, the concourfe of foreigners for e-
ducation, curiofity, or pleafure ; or as to a general
mart of trade.
The tenth is, by difpofing all offices of honour,
profit, or truft, only to the natives ; or at leaft
with very few exceptions, where ftrangers have long
inhabited the country, and are fuppofed to under-
stand and regard the intereft of it as their own.
The eleventh is, when the rents of lands, and
profits of employments, arc fpent in the country
which produced them, and not in another ; the
former
STATE OF IRELAND. 55
former of which will certainly happen, where the
love of our native country prevails.
The xwelfth is, by the public revenues being all
fpent and employed at home, except on the occa-
iions of a foreign war.
The thirteenth is, where the people are not ob-
liged, unlefs they find it for their own intereft or
conveniency, to receive any monies, except of their
own coinage by a public mint, after the manner of
all civilized nations.
The fourteenth is, a difpofition of the people of
a countrv to wear their own manufactures, and
import as few incitements to luxury, either in
cloaths, furniture, food, or drink, as they poffibly
can live conveniently without.
There are many other caufes of a nation's thriv-
ing, which I at prefent cannot recollect : but with-
out advantage from at leaft fome of thefe, after
turning my thoughts a long time, I am not able to
difcover from whence our wealth proceeds, and
therefore would gladly be better informed. In the
mean time I will here examine, what fliare falls to
Ireland of thefe caufes, or of the effects and con-
fequence.
It is not my intention to complain, but barely to
relate facts ; and the matter is not of fmall import-
ance. For it is allowed, that a man who lives in a
folitary houfe, far from help, is not wife in endea-
vouring to acquire in the neighbourhood the repu-
tation of being rich ; becaufe thofe who come for
gold, will go off with pewter and brafs, rather than
return empty ; and in the common practice of the
world, thofe who porTefs moft wealth, make the
leaft parade ; which they leave to others, who have
nothing elfe to bear them out in mewing their faces
on the Exchange.
As to the firft caufe of a nation's riches, being
the fertility of the foil, as well as temperature of
climate, we have no reafon to complain : for, al-
though
56 A SHOP/T VIEW OF THE
though the quantity of unprofitable land in this
kingdom, reckoning bog and rock, and barren
mountain, be double in proportion to what it is in
England ; yet the native productions, which both
kingdoms deal in, are very near an equality in point
of goodnefs, and might with the fame encourage-
ment be as well manufactured. I except mines and
minerals ; in fome of which however we are only
defective in point of (kill and induftry.
In the fecond, which is the induftry of the peo«-
pie, our misfortune is not altogether owing to our
own fault, but to a million of discouragements.
The conveniency of ports and havens, which na-
ture hath beftowed fo liberally on this kingdom, is
of no more ufe to us, than a beautiful profpect to
a man fliut up in a dungeon.
As to (hipping of its own, Ireland is fo utterly
unprovided, that, of all the excellent timber cut
down within thefe fifty or fixty years, it can hardly
be faid, that the nation hath received the benefit of
one valuable houfe to dwell in, or one ihip to trade
with.
Ireland is the only kingdom I ever heard or read
of, either in ancient or modern frory, which was
denied the liberty of exporting their native commo-
dities and manufactures wherever they pleafed, ex-
cept to countries at war with their own prince or
ftate : yet this privilege, by the fuperiority of mere
power, is refufed us in the moit momentous parts
of commerce; befides an act of navigation, to which
we never confented, pinned down upon us, and ri-
goroufly executed ; and a thouiand other unexam-
pled circumftances, as grievous as they are invidi-
ous to mention. To go on to the reft :
It is too well known, that we are forced to obey
fome laws we never confented to ; which is a condi-
tion I muft not call by its true uncontroverted name
for fear of Lord Chief Juftice Whitihed's ghoft,
with
STATE OF IRELAND. 57
with his libertas et natale folum* , written for a mot-
to on his coach, as it flood at the door of the court,
while he was perjuring himfelf to betray both. Thus
we are in the condition of patients, who have phyfic
fent them by doctors at a diftance, ftrangersto their
constitution and the nature of their difeafe : and
thus we are forced to pay five hundred per cent, to
decide our properties : in all which we have like-
wife the honour to be diftinguifhed from the whole
race of mankind.
As to the improvement of land : thofe few who
attempt that or planting, through covetoufnefs or
want of fkill generally leave things worfe than they
were ; neither fucceeding in trees nor hedges ; and
by running into the fancy of grazing, after the
manner of the Scythians, are every day depopulat-
ing the country.
We are fo far from having a king to reflde a-
mong us, that even the viceroy is generally abfent
four fifths of his time in the government.
No Strangers from other countries make this a
part of their travels ; where they can expect to fee
nothing but fcenes of mifery and defolation.
Thofe who have the misfortune to be born here,
have the lead title to any coniiderable employment ;
to which they are feldom preferred, but upon a po-
litical confideration.
One third part of the rents of Ireland is fpent in
England ; which, with the profit of employments,
penfions, appeals, journeys of pleafure or health,
education at the inns of court and both univerfittes,
remittances at pleafure, the pay of all fuperior offi-
cers in the army, and other incidents, will amount
to a full half of the income of the whole kingdom,
all clear profit to England.
We are denied the liberty of coining gold, filver,
or even copper. In the ifle of Man they coin their
* Liberty and my native ccwatry,
own
tf A SHORT VIEW OF THE
#wn fllver : every petty prince, vaiTal to the empe-
ror, can coin what money he pleafeth. And in
this, as in moft of the articles already mentioned,
we are an exception to all other ftates or monar-
chies that were ever known in the world.
As to the laft, or fourtenth article,, we take fpe-
cial care to aft diametrically contrary to it in the
whole courfe of our lives. Both fexes, but efpe-
cially the women, defpife and abhor to wear any o£
their own manufactures, even thofe which are bet-
ter made than in other countries ;. particularly a fort
of filk plaid, thro' which the workmen are forced to
run a kind of gold thread that it may pafs for Indi-
an. Even ale and potatoes are imported from Eng-
land, as well as corn : and our foreign trade isi
little more than importation of French wine, for
which T am told we pay ready money.
Now, if all this be true, (upon which I could'
eafily enlarge), I would be glad to know, by what
fecret method it is, that we grow a rich and flou*
rifhing people without liberty, trade, manufactures,,
inhabitants, money, or the privilege of coining ;.
without induftry, labour, or improvement of land;,
and with more than half the rent and profits of the
whole kingdom annually exported, for which we
receive not a lingle farthing : and to make up all
this, nothing worth mentioning, except the linen
of the north, a trade cafual, corrupted and at
mercy ; and fome butter from Cork. If we do-
fiouriih,. it muft be againft every law of nature and
reafon : like the thorn at Glaftenbury, that blof-
foms in the midft of winter.
Let the worthy commiiKoners, who come from
England, ride round the kingdom, and obferve the
face of nature, or the face of the natives ; the im-
provement of the land ; the thriving numerous
plantations ; the noble woods ; the abundance and
vicinity of country-feats; the commodious farmers
houfes and barns ; the towns and villages, where
every
I STATE OF IRELAND. S9
ltvery body is bufy, and thriving -with all kinds of
^manufactures ; the fhops full of goods wrought to
perfection, and filled with cuftomers ; the comfort-
able diet, and drefs, and dwellings of the people ;
Ihe vaft numbers of mips in our harbours and docks,
land fhipwrights in our fea-port towns ; the roads
irrouded with carriers, laden with rich manufac-
tures ; the perpetual concourfe to and fro or pom-
Ipous equipages.
With what envy and admiration would thofe gen-
tlemen return from fo delightful a progrefs ? what
[{glorious reports would they make, when they went
j»back to England.
But my heart is too heavy to continue this irony
(longer ; for it is manifeff, that whatever ilranger
[took fuch a journey, would be apt to think himfelf
[travelling in Lapland or Iceland, rather than in a
fcountry fo favoured by nature as ours, both in
fruitfulnefs of foil, and temperature of climate.
The miferable drefs, and diet, and dwelling of the
-people ; the general defolation in moft parts of the
kingdom ; the old feats of the nobility and gentry
all in ruins, and no new ones in their ftead ; the fa-
milies of farmers, who pay great rents, Wiving in
filth and naftinefs upon buttermilk and potatoes,
i without a fhoe or flocking to their feet, or a houfe
fo convenient as an Engliih hogrfty to receive them.
. Thefc indeed may be comfortable fights to an Eng-
liih fpeclator : who comes for a fhort time, only
to ham the language, and returns back to his own
!country,whither he finds all our wealth tranfmitted.
Nqfira miferia magna eft.
There is not one argument ufed to prove the
riches of Ireland, which is not a logical demonftra-
• - ■ o
tion ok its poverty. The rife of our rents is fqueez-
ed out of the very blood, and vitals, and cloaths,
and dwelling of the tenants, who live worfe than
Englifh beggars. The lownefs of interefr, in.all o-
ther
6o A SHORT VIEW OF THE
ther countries a fign of wealth, is in us a proof of
mifery ; there being no trade to employ any bor-
rower. Hence alone comes the dearnefs of land,
fince the favers have no other way to lay out their
money i hence the dearnefs of necefTaries for life :
becaufe the tenants cannot afford to pay fuch extra-
vagant rates for land, (which they muft take or go
a-begging), without railing the price of cattle, and
of corn, although themfelves mould live upon
chaff. Hence our increafe of buildings in this city ; be-
caufe workmen have nothing to do but to employ one
another, and one half of them are infallible undone.
Hence the daily increafe of bankers, who may be a
neceiTary evil in a trading country, but fo ruinous
in ours • who for their private advantage, have fent
away all our lilver, and one third of our gold : fo
that within three years paft the running cam of the
nation, which was about five hundred thoufand
pounds, is now lefs than two, and muft daily dimi-
nifli, unlefs we have liberty to coin, as well as that
important kingdom, the ifle of Man, and the mean-
eft principality in the German empire, as I before
obferved.
I have fometimes thought, that this paradox of
the kingdom growing rich is chiefly owing to thofe
worthy gentlemen the BANKERS ; who, except
lbme cuftomhoufe officers, birds of paflage, op-
preffive thrifty 'fquires, and a few others who mall
be namelefs, are the only thriving people among us :
and I have often wiflied, that a law were enacted to
hang up half a dozen bankers every year, and
thereby interpofe at leaft fome fhort delay to the
further ruin of Ireland.
Ye are idle, ye are idle, anfwered Pharaoh to the
Ifraelitres, when they complained to his Majefty, that
they were forced to make bricks without ft raw.
England enjoys everyone of thofe advantages for
enriching a nation, which I have above enumerat-
ed ; and into the bargain, a good million returned
to
STATE OF IRELAND. 61
to them every year without labour or hazard, or one
farthing value received on our iide : but how lon^
we fhall be able to continue the payment, I am not
under the lead concern. One thing I know, that
tvhen the ben isjlarved to death, there will be no more
golden eggs;
I think it a little unhofpitable, and others may
call it a fubtile piece of malice, that becaufe there
may be a dozen families in this town able to enter-
tain their Englifh friends in a generous manner at
their tables, their guefts upon their return to Eng-
land, mall report , that we wallow in riches and
luxury.
Yet, I confefs, I have known an hofpital, where
all the houfehold-officers grew rich; while the poor,
for whofe fake it was built, were aimoit ftarving
for want of food and raiment.
To conclude, if Ireland be a rich and flpurifh-
ing kingdom, its wealth and prosperity muft be
owing to certain caufes, that are yet concealed from
the whole race of mankind ; and the effects are e-
qually inviiible. We need not wonder at ftrangers
when they deliver inch paradoxes ; but a native and
inhabitant of this kingdom, who gives the fame ver-
dict, mult be either ignorant to ftupidity, or a man-
pleafer at the expenfe of all honour, confeience,
and truth*.
# The prefent {late of Ireland \ is, in general, as flourishing as
poffible. Agriculture is cultivated : arts and fciences are encouraged :
and in the fpace of eighteen years, wh'.ch is aimoit the fall time th-it
I have known it, no kingdom can be more improved. Ireland, in re-
lation to England, may be compared to a you.iger filler lately come of
age, after having furFere J all the miseries of* an injured minor, furh
as law-fuits, incr. rchments upon her properly, violation of her rh his,
destruction of her tenants, and every evil that can be named. At long li
time, and her own noble fpirit of industry, have entirely rel eved her,
and, fome little heartburni"gs excepted, fiie enj ys the qui;' tfoflefTon
of a very ample fortune, fubjecl, by way of acknowledgement, to cer-
tain quitrents, payable to the elder brai.ch of her houfc. Take t» all
in all, fise canno; have a greater fortune uian &e deferveg. Or, cry.
Vol. IV. F An
*
I 62 ]
An Answer to a paper, called, A memo-
rial cj the poor inhabitants, trade/men, and
labourers cf the kingdom of Ireland.
Written in the year 1728.
I Received a paper from you, whoever you are,
printed without any name of author or printer *,
and fent, I fuppofe, to me among others without
any particular distinction. It contains a complaint
of the dearnefs of corn ; and fome fchemes for
making it cheaper, which I cannot approve of.
But pray permit me, before I go further, to give
you a fhort hiftory of the fteps by which we arri-
ved at this hopeful fituation.
It was indeed the fhameful practice of too many
Irifh farmers to wear out their ground with plough-
ing ; while, either through poverty, lazinefs, or
ignorance, thev neither took care to manure it as
they ought, nor give time to any part of the land to
recover itfelf; and when their leafes are near expir-
ing, being allured that their landlords would not
renew, they ploughed even the meadows, and made
inch havock, that many landlords were confider-
able fufferers by it *T.
This gave birth to that abominable race of gra-
fiers, who upon expiration of the farmers leafes
were ready to ingrofs great quantities of land ; and
the gentlemen having been before often ill paid,
and their land wore out of heart, were too eafily
* This prn£tice prob.bly produced the peral claufes to prohibit
ploughing, mentioned in the Pnfofalfir the umwfal uft of hip ma-
r,:[xFtuicst
tempted,
AN ANSWER, &c. 6*3
tempted, when a rich grafier made an offer to take
all their land, and give them fecurity for payment.
Thus, a vaft tract of land, where twenty or thirty
farmers lived, together with their cottagers and la-
bourers in their feveral cabbins, became all defo-
liate, and eailly managed by one or two herdfmen
and their boys ; whereby the mafter-grafier with.
Httle trouble feized to himfelf the livelihood of a
hundred people.
It mn ft be confefled, that the farmers were juft-
ly puniftied for their knavery, brutality, and folly.
But neither are the fquires and landlords to be ex-
cufed; for to them is owing the depopulating of the
country, the vaft number of beggars, and the ruin
of thole few forry improvements we had.
That farmers ihould be limited in ploughing, is
very reafonable, and praclifed in England ; and
might have eafily been done here by penal claufes
in their leafes : but to deprive them in a manner
altogether from tilling their hinds, was a nroft ftu-
pid want of thinking.
Had the farmers been confined to plough a cer-
tain quantity of land, with a penalty often pounds
an acre for whatever they exceeded, and farther li-
mited for the three or four laft years of their leaics,
all this evil had been prevented ; the nation would
have faved a million of money 5 and been more po-
■ pidous by above two hundred thonfand fouls.
For a people denied the benefit of trade, to ma-
nage their lands in fuch a manner as to produce
nothing, but what they are forbidden to trade
with, or only fuch things as they can neither export
nor manufacture to advantage ; is an abfurclity that
a wild Indian would- be afhamed of; efpecially
when we add, that we are content to purchafe this
hopeful commerce by fending to foreign markets
for our daily bread.
The grafter's employment is to feed great flocks
of fheep, or black cattle, or both. "With regard
T z to
64 AN ANSWER TO
to fhecp, as folly is ufually accompanied with per-
verfeaefs, fo it is here. There is fomething fo
monftrous to deal in a commodity (farther than for
our own nfe) which we are not allowed to export ;
xn aim facte d, nor even unmanufactured, but to one
certain country, and only to fome few ports in that
country ; there is, I fay, fomething fo fottifh, that
it wants a name in our language to exprefs it by ;
and the good of it is, that the more flieep we have,
the fewer human creatures are left to wear the
wool, or cat the flefh. Ajax was mad, when he
miitook a flock of flieep for his enemies : but we
Jhall never be fober, until we have the fame way of
thinking.
The other part of the gralier's bufinefs is what
we call bhick entile, producing hides, tallow, and
beef for exportation : all which are good and ufe-
ful commodities, if rightly managed. But it feems,
the greateft part of the hides are fent cut raw for
want of bark to tan them ; and that want will dai-
ly grow ftronger : for, I doubt, the new project of
tanning without it is at an end. Our beef, I am a-
fraid, ftili continues fcandalous in foreign markets
for the old reafons. But our tallow, for any thing
I know, may be good. However, to beftow the
whole kingdom on beef and mutton, and there-
by drive out half the people, who mould eat their
{hare, and force the reft to fend fometimes as far as
Egypt for bread to eat with it, is a moft peculiar
and diftinguiihed piece of public ceconomy, of
which I have no comprehenfion.
I know very well that our anceftors the Scythians,
and their pofterity our kinfmen the Tartars, lived
upon the blood, and milk, and raw flefh of their
cattle, without one grain of corn ; but I confefs
myfeif fo degenerate, that I am not eafy without
bread to my victuals.
What amazed me for a week or two, was to fee,
in this prodigious plenty or cattle, and dearth of
human
A MEMORIAL. 65
human creatures, and want of bread, as well as
I money to buy it, that all kind of flefh-meat mould
be monftrouilv dear, bevond what was ever known
in this kingdom. I thought it a defect in the laws,
that there was not fome regulation in the price of
Helh, as well as bread : but I imagine myfelf to
have gueiTed out the reafon \ in fhort, I am apt to
think, that the whole kingdom is overftocked with
cattle, both black and white : and as it is obferved,
that the poor Irifh have a vanity to be rather own-
ers of two lean cows, than one fat, although with
i double the charge of grating, and but half the
quantity of milk ; fol conceive it much more diffi-
cult at prefent to find a fat bullock or wether, than
it would be. if half of them were fairly knocked
on the head : for I am aflbrod, that the diltricl in
the feveral markets, Galled carrion-row, is as rea-
fonable as the poor can deiire • only the circum-
ftance of money to purchafe it, and of trade, or.
labour, to purchafe that money, are indeed whol-
ly wanting..
Now, Sir, to return more particularly to you, and
your memorial.
A hundred .thoufand barrels of wheat, you i<\v,
fliould be imported hither : and ten thoufand pounds
premium to the importers; Have you looked into
the purie of the nation ; I am no commifrioner of
the treafury ; but am well allured, that the whole
running- caih would not fnpply.you with a fum to
purchafe fo much corn, which only at twenty mil-
lings a-barrel, will be a hundred thoufand pounds;
and ten thoufand more for the premium But you
will traffic for your corn with other goods : and
where are thole goods ? If you had them, they are
all engaged to pay the rents of abfcntees,- and other
occaiions in London,, befides- a huge balance of
trade this year againi.r oss "Will foreigners take
our bankers paper? I fuppofe, they will value
it a little more than fo. much a quire. * Where, are
F 3 theic
66 AN ANSWER TO
thele rich farmers and ingrciTers of" corn, in fo bad
.a year, and fo little fowing ?
You are in pjin for two millings premium, and
forget the twenty (billings for the price ; find me
nt the latter, and I will engage for the former.
Your fcheme for a tax for railing fuch a fum is
all vifionary, and owing to a great want of know-
ledge in the mifcrable it ate of this nation. Tea,
coffee, fugar, fpices, wine, and foreign cloaths, are
the particulars you mention, upon which this tax
fhould be railed. I will allow the two firft : be-
becaufe they are unwholefome ; and the laft, be-
caufe I fhould be glad if they were all burned ; but
1 beg you will leave us our wine to make us a
while forget our rnifery : or give your tenants
leave to plough for barley. But I will tell you a
iccret, which 1 learned many years ago from the
commiflioners of the cuftoms in London : they
iaid, when any commodity appeared to be taxed
above a moderate rate, the confecmence was to lef-
icn that branch of the revenue by one half; and
one of tliofe gentlemen pleafantly told me, that the
miftake of parliaments on fuch occailons was ow-
ing to an error of computing two and two to make
four; whereas in the bufiuefs of laying heavy im-
portions two and two never made more than one ;
which happens by leflening the import, and the
ftrpng temptation of running fuch goods as paid
"high duties, at leaft in this kingdom. Although
the women are as vairt and extravagant as their
lovers or their hufbands can delerve, and the
men are fond enough of wine, yet the number
of both who can afford fuch expenfes, is fo
(mall, that the major part rnuft reftife gratifying
themfelvcs, and the duties will rather be leffened
than increafed. But allowing no force in this ar-
gument ; yec fo preternatural a fum, as one hun-
dred and ten thoufand pounds, raifed all on a Hid-
den, (for there is no dallying with hunger, is jure
in
A MEMORIAL. 6*7
in proportion with railing a million and a half in
jEngland; which, as things now itand, would pro-
bably bring that opulent kingdom under fome dif-
ficulties.
You are concerned how ftrange and furprifmg it
would be in foreign parts to hear, that the poor
were ftarving in a rich country, <£c. Are you in
earneft ? is Ireland the rich country you mean ?
or are you infuiting our poverty ? were you ever
out of Ireland ? or were you ever in it till of late ?
you may probably have a good employment, and
are laving all you can to purchaie a good eftate in
England. But by talking fo familiarly of one hun-
dred and ten thoufand pounds by a tax upon a few
commodities, it is plain, yen are either naturally or
affectedly ignorant of our prefent condition ; or
elfe you would know and allow, that fuch a fum is
not to be raifed here, without a general excife ;
fince, in proportion to our wealth, we pay already
in taxes more than England ever did in the height
of the war. And when you have brought over
vour corn, who will be buyers ? Mcft certainly, not
the poor, who will not be able to purchaie the
twentieth part of it.
Sir, upon the whole, your paper is a very crude
piece, liable to more objections than there are lines ;
but, I think, your meaning is good, and fo far you
are pardonable.
If you will propofe a general contribution for
fupporting the poor in potatoes and buttermilk, till
the new corn comes in, perhaps you may fucceed
better ; becaufe the thing at leaft is poiiible : and I
think if our brethren in England would contribute
upon this emergency, out of the million they gain
from us every year, they would do a piece of ju-
ftice as well as charity. In the mean time go and
preach to your own tenants to fall to the plough as
faft as they can ; and prevail with your neighbour-
ing '{quires to do the lame with theirs ; or elfe die
with
68 AN ANSWER TO
with, the guilt of having, driven away half the inha""
bitants, and (Varying the reft. For, as to your
lcheme of railing " one hundred and ten thou-
" fand pounds," it is as vain as that of Rabelais,-
which was to fqueeze out wind from the pofteriors
of a dead afs.
But why all this concern for the poor ? We want
them not as the country is now managed; they may
follow thou fan ds of their leaders, and feek their
bread abroad. Where the plough has no work,
one family can do the bufinefs of fifty, and you may-
fend away the other forty-nine. An admirable
piece of rrufbandry, never known or practifed by
the wifeft nations, who erroneouily thought people,
to be the riches of a country.
If io wretched a ftate of things would allow it,
methinks I could have a malicious pleafure, after all
the warning I have given the public at my own pe-
ril for feveral years pan:, to fee the coniequences.
and events anfwering in every particular. I pre-
tend to no fagacity : what I write was little more
than what I had dijcourfed to feveral perfons, who
were generally of my opininion : and it was obvi-
ous to every common underftanding, that inch ef-
fects muft needs follow from fuch caufes. A fair
ilTue of things begun upon party-rage, while fome
facrificed the public to fury, and others to am-
bition : while a fpirit of faction and oppreflioii
reigned in every part of the country, where gentle-
men, inftead of confulting the eafe of their, tenants
or cultivating their lands, were worrying one ano-
ther upon points of Whig and Tory, of high church
and low church ; which no more concerned them,
than the long and famous controverfy of ftrops
for razors * ; while agriculture was wholly dif-
* A piece of leather palled on wood to be ufed with a ceitain pow-
der, for the property and excelitnce of which feveral competitors ea-
gerly contended.
co ur aged,
it
a
((
it
A MEMORIAL. 69
cnnraged, and con fequently half the farmers, and
labourers, and poor tradesmen, forced to beggary
or banilhment : " Wifdom crieth in the ftreets ;
becanfe I have called on yon ; I have ftretched
out my hand, and no man regarded. But ye have
fet at nought all my counfels, and would none of
my reproof. I alio will laugh at your calamity,
and mock when your fear cometh."
I have now done with your memorial, and freely
excufe your miftakes, fince yen appear to write as a
itranger, and as of a country which is left at liberty
to enjoy the benefits of nature, and to make the
heft of thofe advantages which God hath given it
in foil,, climate, and iltuation.
But having lately fent out a paper, intitled, A
Jhort view of the J! ate of Ireland '; and hearing of an
objection, that fome people think I have treated
the memory of the late Lord Chief InfKce Whitfhed
with an appearance of feveruy : fince I may not pro-
bably have another opportunity of explaining my-
felfin that particular,! chufe to clo it here : laying it
therefore down for a p'jiu'afitm, which I fuppofe
will be uciverfally granted, that no little creature
of fo mean a birth and genius had ever the honour
to be a greater enemy to his country, and to all
kinds of virtue than LIE. I aniwer thus : Y/he-
ther there be two different goddciies called Fame,
as fome authors contend, c-r only one goddefs
founding two different trumpets, it is certain, that
people diitinguifhed for their villany have as good a
title to a blaft from the proper trumpet, as thofe
who are moh: renowned for their virtues have from
the other ; and have equal reafon to complain if it
be refufed them. And accordingly the names of
the moft celebrated profligates have been faithfully
tranfmittcd down to pofterity. And although the
perfon here underftood acted his part in an ob-
fcure corner of the world ; yet his talents might
have
7o AN ANSWER TO
have {none with luflre enough in the nobieit
fcene.
As to my naming a perfon dead, the plain ho-
neft reafon is the heft. He was armed with power,
and will to do mifcief, even where he was- not pro-
voked, as appeared by his profecuting two printers,
one to death, and both to rain, who had neither
offended God, nor the King, nor him, nor the
public.
What an encouragement to vice is this ? If an ill
man be alive, and in power, we dare not attack
him, and if he be weary of the world, or of his
own villanies, he has nothing to do but die, and
then his reputation is fife. For thefe excellent
cafaiftsknow juft Latin enough to have heard a moil
foolifh precept, that de mortuis nil nifi bonum ; fo
that if Socrates, and Anytus his accufer *, had
happened to die together, the charity of furvivors
mi\t either have obliged them to hold their peace,.
or to fix the fame character on both. The only
crime of charging the dead is, when iheleaft doubt
remains whether the accufation be true ; but when
men are openly abandoned, and loft to all fhame,.
they have no reafon to think it hard if then' me-
mory be reproached. Whoever reports, or other-
wife pubiifhed any thing, which it is poflible may
be falfe, that man is a flanderer ; hie niger eft, hunc-
tu, Rowane, caveio. Even the leaft mifreprefenta-
tion, or aggravation of facls, deferves the fame
cenfure in fome degree: but in this cafe I am quits
deceived ; if my error hath not been on the ilde
of extenuation.
I have now prefent before me the idea of fome
perfons (I know not in what part- of the world)
who fpend every moment of their lives, and every
turn of their thoughts while they are awake, (and
* Anytus one of the wretches v-'hoaccufed Socrates of contemning
the gods, and endeavouring to fubvert the religion of h's country.
probably.
I . A MEMORIAL. 71
Probably of their dreams while they fleep), in the
moft deteftable actions and defigns ; who delight in
mifchief, fcandal, and obloquy, with the hatred
and contempt of all mankind again ft them ; but
chiefly of thofe among their own party, and their
own family ; iucli, whole odious qualities rival
each other for perfection ; avarice, brutality, fac-
tion, pride, malice, treachery, noife, impudence,
. clulneis, ignorance, vanity, and revenge, contend-
ing every moment for luperiority in their breafts.
Such creatures are not to be reformed ; neither is
it prudent or fafe to attempt a reformation. Yet,
although their memories will rot, there may be
fome benefit for their furvivors, to fmell it while it
as rotting.
I am, SIR,
your humble fervant,
Dublin, March 2.5.
1728. A. B.
r 72 j
*w^w^^^^^*m^^^^^^^^
A Vindication of his Excellency John
Lord Carteret, from the charge of fa-
vouring none but Tories, Highchurckmeny
and Jacobites
*
Written in the year 1730.
TN order to treat this important fubject with the
* greateft fairnefs and impartiality, perhaps it may
be convenient to give fome account of his Excel-
lency ; in whofe life and character there are cer-
tain particulars, which might give a very juft fuf-
picion of fome truth in the accufation he lies
under.
He is defcended from two noble, ancient, and
moft loyal families, the Carterets, and the Gran-
villes : too much diitinguifhed, I confefs, for what
they acted, and what they fiuTered in defending the
former conftitution in church and ftate under King
Charles the Martyr ; I mean that very prince, on
account of whofe martyrdom *' a form of prayer,
* The view of this piece feems to be to recommend moderation,
and laugh political bigotry out of countenance.
In this piece the failings of the Noble Lord, arlfing from the pre-
judices of great talents and a learned education, are finely displayed,
with infinite wit and humour. However, indeed, there is couched
here abundance of fatire. Pifioridei, that poor, angry, buttling mor-
tal, he treats with all imaginable contempt: but in his fatire ag-iinft
Traulus he fpares not to draw blood at every ftroke ; the former part of
which is bitterly farcaftic, and the latter as bitterly ironical. His ac-
count of Agefilaus being caught by the parjbn of the pa; ijb riding on a
hobby-horfe with his children, and fome other touches of the like
fort, are truly diverting* D. Swift,
i( with
THE LORD CARTERET. 73
cc with fatting, was injoined by act of parliament,
" to be ufed on the 30th day of January every
" year, to implore the mercies of God, that the
" guilt of that facred and innocent blood might
11 not be vifited on us or our pofterity :" as we
may read at large in our Common Prayer Books ;
which day hath been folemnly kept, even within
the memory of many men now alive.
His Excellency the prefent Lord was educated in
the univerfity of Oxford ; from whence, with a
Angularity fcarce to be juftified, he carried away
more Greek, Latin, and philofophy, than proper-
ly became a perfon of his rank ; indeed much more
of each than moft of thofe who are forced to live
by their learning will be at the unneceilary pains to
load their heads with.
This was the rock he fplit on upon his firft ap-
pearance in the world, and having juft got clear of
his guardians. For as foon as he came to town,
fome biihops and clergymen, and other perfons
moft eminent for learning and parts, got him a-
mong them ; from whom although he were fortu-
nately dragged by a lady and the court, yet he could
never wipe off the ftain, nor warn off the tincture
of his university acquirements and difpofitions.
To this another misfortune was added, that it
pleafed God to endow him with great natural ta-
lents, memory, judgement, compreheniion, elo-
quence, and wit ; and, to fmiih the work, all thefe
were fortified even in his youth with the advantages
received by fuch employments as are beft fitted
both to exercife and polifh the gifts of nature and
education, having been arohafiador in feveral courts,
when his age would hardly allow him to take a de-
gree ; and made principal fecretary of ftate at a pe-
riod when, according to cuftom, he ought to have
been buiied in loilng his money at a chocolate -
houfe ; or in other amufements equally laudable
and epidemic among perfons of honour.
Vol IV. G I cam.^
74 A VINDICATION OF
I cannot omit another weak fide in his Excellen-
cy. For it is known, and can be proved upon
■him, that Greek and Latin books might be fount:
every day in life drefhng-room, if it were careful!
fearched ; and there is reafon to ftifpeclt, that fori]
Or the laid books have been privately conveyed to
him by Tory hands. I am likewife aflured, thai
he hath been taken in the very fact of reading the
iaid books, even in the mid ft of a feffion, to th«
great neglect of public affairs.
I own, there may be (bme grounds for this
chirge ; became I have it from good hands, thai
when his Excellency is at dinner with one or twe
icholars at his elbows, he grows a moft infupport-
able and-unintclligible companion to all the fine
gentlemen round the table.
I cannot deny, that his Excellency lies undei
• , •>
another verv great diiadvantap;e. For with all the
accomplifhments above mentioned, adding that oi
a moft comely and graceful perfon, and during th<
prime of youth, fpirits, and vigour, he hath in i
inoft unexemplary manner led a regular domefti<
life ; difcovers a great eiteem, and friendship, anc
love for his lady, as well as true affection for hi;
children ; and when he is difpofed to admit an en-
tertaining evening companion, he doth not always
enough reflect, whether the perfon may polTibly in
former days have lain under the imputation of a
Tory-; nor at inch times do the natural or affected
fears of Popery and the Pretender make any pan
of the converfation : I prefume, becaufe neither)
Komer, Plato, Ariitotle, or Cicero, have made
any mention of them.
Thefe I freely acknowledge to be his Excellen-
cy's failings ; yet I think it is agreed by philoso-
phers and divines, that ;ibme allowance ought to
be given to human infirmity, and to the prejudices
of a wrong education.
I am well aware, how much my fentiments differ
from
TfiE LORD CARTERET. 75-
ifpom the orthodox opinions of one or two princi^
I ial patriots, at the head of whom I name with ho-
liour Piftorides. For thefe have decided the matter
| lirectly againit me by declaring, that no perfon,
i vho was ever known to lie under the fufpiciori of
lone iingle Tory principle, or who had been once
|een at a great man's levee in the wcrjt of t lives s':,
jhould be allowed to come within the verge of the
:aftle ; much lefs to bow in the anticharnber, ap-
pear at the afTemblies, or dance at a birth-night.
However, I dare ailert, that this- maxim hath been
)ften controlled ; and that, on the contrary, a
:onfiderable number of early penitents have been
•eceived into grace, who are now an ornament, hap-
3ineis, and fupport to die nation.
Neither do I find any murmuring on fome other
)oints of greater importance, where this favourite
maxim is not fo ftrictly obferved.
To inftarice only in one : I have not heard, that
iny care hath hitherto been taken to difcover whs-
:her Madam f Violan^e be a WBig or Torv in her
principles ; or even that flie hath ever been " offer-
" ed the oaths to the government :'" oji the contra-
ry, I am told, that lhe openly profeiTeth herfclf to
be a high-flier ; and it is not improbable by her
Outiandiih name, ihe may alfo be a Papiit in her
heart ; vet we iee this illuftrious and dangerous fc--
male openly careiTed by principal perlbns of both
parties ;. who contribute to fupport her in a fplen-
did manner, without the lealt apprehensions from-
a grand jury, or even from 'Squire Hartley Hut-
chefon himfelf, that \\ zealous profecntor of hawk-
~\ ers and libels." And, as Hobbes wifely obferves,
fo much money being equivalant to lb much power,
it may deferve confidering, with what fafety fuch
* The three laft years of Qnetfn Anne, when Lord Oxford was
minifer, wen fo called by the Whigs.
\ A fa'motis Italian race -dancer.
G z an
7 6 A VINDICATION OF
an inftrument of power ought to be trufted in the
hands of an alien, who hath not given any legal
fecurity for her good affection to the government.
I confefs, there is one evil which I could wifh
our friends would think proper to redrefs. There
are many Whigs in this kingdom of the old fa-
fhioned ftamp, of whom we might have made very
good ufe • they bear the fame loyalty with us to the
Hanoverian family in the perfon of K. George II.
the fame abhorrence of the Pretender, with the
confequences of Popery and flavery, and the fame
indulgence to tender confeiences : but having no-
thing to alk for themfelves, and therefore the more
leifure to think for the public, they are often apt
to entertain fears and melancholy profpecls con-
cerning the ftate of their country, the decay of
trade, the want of money, the miferable condition
of the people, with other topics of the like nature;
all which do equally concern both Whig and Tory ;
who, if they have any thing to lofe, mutt be equal-
ly fufferers. Perhaps, one or two of thefe melan-
choly gentlemen will fometimes venture to publifh
their thoughts in print : now, I can by no means
approve our ufual cuftom of curling and railing at
this fpecies of thinkers, under the names of To- 1
ries, Jacobites, Papifts, libellers, rebels, and the
like.
This was the utter ruin of that poor, angry,
buttling, well-meaning mortal Piftorides ; who lies
equally under the contempt of both parties ; with
no other difference than a mixture of pity on one
fide, and of averflon on the other.
How hath he been pelted, peftered, and pound-
ed by one flngle wag, who promifeth never to for-
fake him, living or dead ?
I was much pleafed with the humour of a fur-
geon in this town j who having, in his own appre-
henflon, received fome great injuftice from the Jb.arl
of Galway, and despairing of revenge as well as
relief,
THE LORD CARTERET. 77
Belief, declared to all his friends, that he had fet
apart one hundred guineas to purchafe the Earl's
carcafe from the fexton, whenever it fliould die,
to make a ikeleton of the bones, ftuff the hide,
,and ihew them for three pence : and thus get ven-
Igeance for the injuries he had iuflered by its
owner.
Of the like fpirk too often is that in 1 placable
race of wits ; againft whom theare is no defence but
innocence and philofoplvy : neither of which is
likely to be at hand ; and therefore the wounded
have no where to fiv for a cure but to downright
ftupidity, a crazed head, or a profligate contempt
of guilt and ihame.
I am therefore forrv for that other miferable-
creature Trauhis ; who, although of fomewhat a
d:rlerent-fnecies. vet feeir.s very far to outdo even
the genius of Piftorides in that miscarrying talent
of railing without confiitency or cliicretion againit
the mo ft innocent perlons according to the prefect
iituation of his gall and fpleen. i do not blame
an honcft gentleman for the bittereh invicMves a-
gainlt one to whom he profeiTcth the greatcd iYiend-
ihip ; provided he aces in the d u k, fo as not to be
difcovered : but in the midft of careffes, vifits, and
invitations, to run into the itreets, or to as public
a place, and without the leaft pretended incitement
fputter out the bafeft and fall t- ft accufations ; then
to Avipe his mouth, come up fmiling to his friend,
ihake him bv the hand, and tell him in a whifoer,
it was all for his fervice : this proceeding, I am
bold to think a great failure in prudence : and I
am afraid left fuch a practitioner, with a body fo
open, fo foul, and fo full of fores, may fail under
the refentment of an incenfed political furgeon,
who is not in much renown for his mercy upon
great provocation : wIig, without waiting for his
death, will flay and dilTect him alive ; and to the
view of all mankind lay open all the disordered cells
G 3 of
78 A VINDICATION CXF
of his brain, the venom of his tongue, the corrup-
tion of his heart, and fpots and flatufes of his
ipleen : and all this for three pence.
In fuch a cafe, what a fcence would be laid open !
and, to drop my metaphor, what a character of
our mistaking friend might an angry enemy draw
and expofe ! particularizing that unnatural conjunc-
tion of vices and follies fo inconfiftent with each
other in the fame breaft : furious and fawning,
fcurrilous and flattering, cowardly and provoking,
infolent and abject; moft profligately falfe, with the
ftrongeft profeflions of fmcerky ; pofltive and vari-
able, tyrannical and flavifh.
I apprehend, that if all this mould be fet out to
the world by an angry Whig of the old ftamp, the
unavoidable confequence muft be a confinement of
our friend for fome months more to his garret ;
and thereby depriving the public for fo long time,
and in fo important a juncture, of his ufeful talents
in their fervice, while he is fed like a wild beaft
through a hole; but I hope, with a fpecial regard
to the quantity and quality of his nourifhment.
In vain would his excufers endeavour to palliate
his enormities by imputing them to madnefs ; be-
caufe it is well known, that madnefs only operates
by enflaming and enlarging the good or evil difpofi-
tions of the mind. For the curators of Bedlam
allure us, that fome lunatics are perfons of honour*
truth, benevolence, and many other virtues, which
appear in their higheft ravings, although after a
wild incoherent manner ; while others, on the con-
trary, difcover in every word and action the utmoft
bafenefs and depravity of human minds ; which in-
fallibly they poflefled in the fame degree, although
perhaps under a better regulation, before their en-
trance into that academy.
But it may be objected, that there is an argument
of much force to excufe the overflowings of that
zeal which our friend fhews or means for our caufe.
And
THE LORD CARTERET. 7*
And it muft be confefled, that " the eafy and
" fmooth fluency of his elocution, beftowed on
P him by nature, and cultivated by continual prac-
" tice, added to the comelinefs of his perfon, the
J harmony of his voice, the gracefulnefs of his
" manner, and the decency of his drefs," are temp-
tations too ftror.g for fuch a genius to refill upon
any public occaiion of making them appear with
universal applaufe. And if good men are fome-
times accufed of loving their jeft better than their
friend ; furely to gain the reputation of the firft
orator in the kingdom, no man of fpirit would
fcruple to lofe all the friends he had in the world.
It is ufual for matters to make their boys de-
claim on both fides of an argument ; and as fome
kinds of aflemblies are called the fchools of politics,
I confefs nothing can better improve political
fchool-boys, than the art of making plauiible or
implaulible harangues againft the very opinion for
which they refolve to determine.
So Cardinal Perron, after having fpoke for an
hour to the admiration of all his hearers, to prove
the exiftence of God, told fome of his intimates,
that he could have fpoken another hour, and much
better, to prove the contrary.
I have placed this reafoning in the ftrongeft light
that I think it will bear ; and have nothing to an-
fwer, but that, allowing it as much weight as the
reader fhall pleafe, it hath conftantly met with ill
fuccefs in the mouth of our friend ; but whether
5 for want of good luck, or good management, I
fufpend my judgment.
To return from this long digrefiion : If perfons
in high ftations have been allowed to chufe wenches
without regard even to difference in religion, yet
never incurred the leaft reflection on their loyalty,
or their Proteftantifm ; mall the chief governor of
a great kingdom be cenfured for chufing a compa-
nion, who may formerly have been fufpected for
differing
80 A VINDICATION OF
di tiering from the orthodox in Tome fpeculative o-
pinions of peribns and things, which cannot affect
the fundamental principles of a found Whig.
But let me iuppofe a very poilible cafe. Here is
a perfon lent to govern Ireland, whole unfortunate
weak fide it happens to be, for feveral reafons a-
bove mentioned, that he hath encouraged the at-
tendance of one or two gentlemen diftinpuilhed for ■
their tafte, their wit, and their learning ; who have
taken the oaths to his Majefty, and pray heartily
for him: yet becaufe they may perhaps be ftigmati-
zed as quondam Tories by Piitorides and his gangr
his Excellency niuft be forced to baniih them under
the pain and peril, of difpleafmg the zealots of his
own party ; and thereby be put into a worfe con-
dition than every common good-fellow, who may
be a hncere Proteftant and a loyal fubiect, and
yet. rather chufc to drink fine ale at the Pope's
head, than muddv at the Kind's.
Let me then return to my iunpofitions. It is cer-
tain, the high-flown loyaiiit, in the prcfent fenfe of
the word, have their thoughts, and ftudies, and
tongues, Jo entirely diverted by political fchemes,
that tire zeal or their principles hath eaten up their
underftandings : neither have they time, from their
employments, their hopes, and their hourly la-
bours, for acquiring new additions of merit to a-
mufe themielvcs with philological converfe or fpe-
culations, which are utterly ruinous to all fchemes
of riling in the world. What then muft a great
man do, whofe ill ftars have fatally perverted him
to a love, and tafte, and poiTeihon of literature,
politeneis, and good fenfe ? our thorough-fped re-
public of Whigs, which contains the bulk of all
hopers, pretenders, expcclors, and profeflbrs, are be-
yond all doubt moft highly ufeful to princes, to go-
vernors, to great minifters, and to their country ;
but at the fame time, and by necerTary confequence,
the molt difagreeahle companions to all, who have
that
THE LORD CARTERET. *i
that unfortunate turn of mind peculiar to his Excel-
: lency, and perhaps to five or fix more in a nation.
I do not deny it pofiible, that an original or pro-
felyte favourite of the times might have been born
to thofe ufelefs talents, which in former ages qua-
lified a man to be a poet or a philofopher. All I
contend for, is, that where the true genius of par-
ty once enters, it fweeps the houfe clean, and leaves
room for many other fpirits to take joint pofleflion,
until the laft ftate of that man is exceedingly better
than the firft.
I allow it a great error in his Excellency, that he
adheres fo obftinately to his old unfashionable aca-
demic education ; yet fo perverfe is human nature,
that the ufual remedies for this evil in others have
Froduced a contrary effect in him; to a degree that
am credibly informed, he will, as I have already
hinted, in the middle of a feftlon, quote paflages
out of Plato and Pindar at his own table to fome
book-learned companion without bluming, even
when perfons of great Stations are by.
I will venture one flep further ; which is, freely
to confefs, that this mistaken method of educating
youth in the knowledge of ancient learning and
language is too apt to fpoil their politics and prin-
ciples ; becaufe the doctrine and examples of the
books they read, teach them leffons directly con-
trary in every point to the prefent practice of the
world: and accordingly Hobbesmoft judiciouflyob-
ferves, that the writings of the Greeks and Romans
made young men imbibe opinions againit abfolute
power in a prince, or even in a firft minifter ; and
to embrace notions of liberty and property.
It hath been therefore a great felicity in thefe
kingdoms, that the heirs to titles and large eftates
have a weaknefs in their eyes, a tendernefs in their
constitutions ; are not able to bear the pain and in-
dignity of whipping -, and, as the mother rightly
exprefies it, could never take to thei'r beaks, yet are
well
$2 A VINDICATION OF
well enough qualified to fign a receipt for half* a-
year's rent, to put their names [rightly fpelt) to a
warrant, and to read, pamphlets againfr. religion
and high-flying ; whereby they hll their niches, and-
carry themfelves through the world with that dig-
nity which beft becomes a fenator and a 'fquire.
I could heartily, wifh his Excellency would be
more condescending to the genius of the kingdom
he governs ; to the condition of the times, and to
the nature of the ftation he fills. Yet if it be true,
what I have read in old Enpjiih frorv-books, that,
one Ageulaus (no -matter to the bulk- of my readers
whether I fpell the name right or wrong) was caught
by the par.fonof the parifh riding on a hobby-horfe
with his children; that Socrates, a Heathen philo-
foper, was found dancing by himfelf at fourfcore ;
that a King called Crefar Augujlus (or fome fuch*
n,ame) ufed to play with boys, whereof fome might
porlibly be fons of Tories ; and that two great
men called £a//<?and La./ius, (I forget their Chri-
ftian names and whether they wrere poets or gene-
rals), often played at duck and drake with fmooth
ftones on a river. Now, I fay, if thefe facts be
true, (and the book where I found them is in print),.
I cannot imagine, w7hy our moft zealous patriots
may not a little indulge his Excellency in an infir-
mity which is not morally evil ; provided he gives
no public fcandal ; which is by all means to be a-
voided : I fay, why lie may not be indulged twice
a-week to converfe with one or two particular per-
ions ; and let him and them conn over their old ex?
plodecl readings together, after, mornings fpent in
hearing and prefcribing ways and means from and.
to his moft obedient politicians for-, the welfare. of
the kingdom ; although the laid particular perfon,
or perfons, may not have made fo. public a declara-
tion of their political faith in all its parts, as the bufi-
nefs of the nation requires-: Rill fubmitting my o-
pinion to that happy majority, which I am confi-
dent
THE LORD CARTERET. S3
dent Is always in the right; by whom the liberty of
the fubjcct hath been io frequently, fo itrenuouily,
and fo fuccefsfully averted ; who, by their wile
councils, have made commerce to flourish, money
to abound, inhabitants to increafe, the value of
lands and rents to rife ; and the whole iiland put
on a new face of plenty and prosperity.
But, in order to clear his Excellency more fully
-from this accufation of /hewing his favour to high-
fliers, Tories, and Jacobites, it will be necefTary to
oome to particulars.
The firft perfon of a Tory denomination, to
whom his Excellency gave any marks of his favour,
was Dr. Thomas Sheridan. It is to be obferved,
that this happened 10 early in his Excellency's go-
vernment, as it may be juftly fuppofed he had not
been informed of that gentleman's character noon
fo dangerous an article. The Doctor being well
known, and diftinguiihed for his lkill and fuccefs
in the education of youth beyond mo ft of his pro-
feffion for many years part,- was recommended to
his Excellency on the fcore of his learning, and
particularly for his knowledge in the Greek tongue;
whereof, it feems, his Excellency is a great admi-
rer, although for what reaibns I could never ima-
gine. However, it is agreed on all hands, that his
Lordlhip was too eafdy prevailed on by the Doctor's
requclt, or indeed rather from the bias of his own
nature, to hear a tragedy acted in that unkown
language by the Doctor's lads, which was written
by fome heathen author ; but whether it contained
any Tory or high-church principles, muft be left to
the consciences of the bovs, the Doctor, and his
Excellency: the only witnefTes in this cafe, whole
testimonies can be depended upon.
It feems, his Excellency (a thing never to be fuf-
ficiently wondered at) was fo pleafed with his en-
tertainment, that fome time after he gave the Doc-
tor a church-living to the vcAue of aim oft one hun-
died
i4 A VINDICATION OF
dred pounds a-year, and made him one of his
chaplains ; from an antiquated notion, that good
fchoolmafters ought to be encouraged in every na-
tion profefiing civilitv and religion. Yet his Excel-
lency did not venture to make this bold ftep with-
out ftrong recommendations from perfons of un-
doubted principles fitted to the times ; who thought
themfelves bound in juftice, honour, and gratitude
to do the Doctor a good office, in return for the
care he had taken of their children, or thofe of
their friends. Yet the cataftrophe was terrible ;
for the Doctor, in the height of his felicity and
gratitude, going down to take pofTeflion of his pa-
rifh, and furnifhed with a few led fermons, where-
of as it is to be fuppefed, the number was very
fmall, having never ferved a cure in the church ; he
ftopt at Cork to attend on his bifhop ; and going to
church on the Sunday following, was, according
to the ufual civility of country-clergymen, invited
by the minifter of the parifh to fupply the pulpit.
It happened to be the firft of Augult ; and the hrft
of Auguft happened that year to light upon a Sun-
day : and it happened that the Doctor's text was
in thefe words : Sufficient unto the day is the evil
thereof* : and laftly, it happened, that fome one
perfon in the congregation, whofe loyalty made
him watchful upon every appearance of danger to
his Majefty's perfon and government, when fervice
was over, gave the alarm. Notice was immediate-
ly fent up to town ; and by the zeal of one man
of r.o large dinicnfim of b&dy or mind, fuch a clamour
was raifed, that we in Dublin could apprehend no
lefs than an invafion by the pretender, who mull
be landed on the fouth. The refult was, that the
Doctor muft be be ftruck out of the chaplain's lift,
and appear no more at the caflle ; yet whether he
* The fiifi of Augut is the anrivcrfary of the Hanoverian family's
accefilon to thecrovui of Great Br.tain,
were
THE LORD CARTERET. 85
were then, or be at this day, a Yv'hig or a Tory, I
think is a fecret ; only it is manifeft, thot he is a
zealous Hanoverian, at leaft in poetry, and a great
admirer of the prefent royal family through all its
branches. His friends likewife afTtrt, that he had
preached this fermon ofcen under the fame text ;
that not havino obferved the words, till he was in the
pulpit, and had opened his notes, as he is a perfon
a little abftrael:ed, he wanted prefence of mind to
change them : and that in the whole fermon there
was not a fyllable relating to government or party,
or to the iubject of the day.
In this incident there feems to have been an u-
nion of events, that will probably never happen a-
gain to the end of the world ; or is, at leaft, like
the grand conjunction in the heavens ; which, I
think, they fay can arrive but once in twenty thou-
fand years.
The fecond gentleman (if I am right in my chro-
nology) who under the fufpicion of a Tory receiv-
ed fome favour from his Excellency, is Mr. James
Stopford ; very ftrongly recommended by the moil:
eminent Whig in England on the account of his
learning, and virtue, and other accomplishments*
He had pafTcd the greateft part of his youth in dole
ftudy, or in travelling ; and was either not at
home, or not at leiiure to trouble his thoughts a-
bout party; which I allow to be a great omifficn,
although I cannot honeftly place him in the lift of
Tories ; and therefore think his Excellency may be
fairly acquitted for making him vicar of Fingias,
worth about one hundred pounds a-year.
The third is Dr. Patrick Delany. This divine
lies under fome difadvantage ; having in his youth
received many civilities from a certain perfon *, then
in a very high ftation here ; for which reafon, I
* Sir Cnftanthie Phipjs, Lord Chancellor of Ireland, when Queen
Anne died.
Vol. IV. H davbi
36 A VINDICATION OF
doubt the Doctor never drank his confufion fince,
and what makes the matter defperate, it is now too
late ; unlefs our inquihtors will be content with
drinking confufion to his memory. The aforefaid
eminent perfon, who was a judge of all merit, ex-
cept that of party, diftinguilhed the Doctor among
other juniors in our univerfity for his learning, vir-
tue, difcretion, and good fenfe. But the Doctor
was then in too good a fituation at his college to
hope or endeavour at a better eitabliihment from
one who had no power to give it him.
Upon the prefent Lord Lieutenant's coming over,
the Doctor was named to his Excellency by a
friend * among other clergy of diiHnction, as per-
sons whofc characters it was proper his Excellency
ihould know ; and by the truth of which the giver
would be content to ftand or fail in his Excellency's
opinion ; fince not one of thofe perfons were in
particular friendihip with the gentleman who gave in
their names. By this and fome other incidents,
particularly the recommendation of the late Arch-
bilhop of Dublin, the Doctor became known to
his Excellency, whole fatal turn of mind towards
heathenifh and outlandilh books and languages,
finding, as I conceive, a like difpontion in the Doc-
tor, was the caufe of his becoming Co domeftic, as
we are told he is, at the caftle of Dublin.
Three or four years ago the Doctor, grown wea-
ry of an academic life, for fome reafons beft known
to the managers of the difcipline in that learned io-
cieiv, (which it may not be for their honour to
mention), refolved to leave it ; although, by the
benefit of the pupils, and his fenior fdlowfhip,
with all its perquiiites, he received every year be-
tween nine hundred and a thoufand pounds. And
a fmall northern living, in the univerfity's dona-
tion, of lbmewhat better than one hundred pounds
* The Author.
a-year
THE LORD CARTERET. 87
a-year falling at the fame time with the chancellor-
fhip of Chrift- church* to about equal the value, in
the gift of his Excellency ; the Doctor ventured in-
to the world in a very fcanty condition ; having
fquandered away all his annual income in a manner,
which, although perhaps proper enough for a cler-
gyman without a family, will not be for the advan-
tage of his character to difcover either on the ex-
change, or at a banker's fhop.
A bout two months ago, his Excellency gave the
Doctor a Prebend in St. Patrick's cathedral ; which,
being of near the fame value with either of the two
former, will add a third part to his revenues, after
he fhall have paid the great incumbrances upon it :
fo that he may now be faid to pofFefs of church-
preferments in fcattered tithes three hundred pounds
a-year ; inftead of the like furn of infallible rents
from a fenior fellowfhip, with the offices annexed ;
befide the advantage of a free lodging a great num-
ber of pupils, and fome other eafements.
But fince the Doctor hath not in any of his writ-
ings, his fermons, his actions his difcourfe, or his
company, difcovered one fingle principle of either
Whig or Tory ; and that the Lord Lieutenant ftill
continues to admit him $ I fhall boldly pronounce
him ONE OF US : but, like a new free-mafon,
who hath not yet learned all the dialect of the myf-
tery. Neither can he jultiy be accufed of any Tory
doctrines ; except perhaps ibme among thofe few
with which that wicked party was charged during
the height of their power, but have been fince
transferred for the molt folid reafons, to the whole
body of our firmeft friends.
I have now done with the clergy : and upon the
ftricteft examination have not been able to find a-
bove one of that order, againft whom any party-
fufpicion can lie ; I mean the unfortunate gentle-
man Doctor Sheridan, who bv mere chance-med-
ley, fhot his own fortune dead with a fingle text.
H 2 As
A VINDICATION OF
! As to the laity, I can hear but one perfon of the
Tory ftamp, who fince the beginning of his Excel-
lency's government did ever receive any fo!id mark
of his favour : I mean Sir Arthur Achefon, re-
ported to be an acknowledged Tory • and, what is
almoft as bad, a fcholar into the bargain. It is
\srhifpered about, as a certain truth, that this gen-
tleman is to have a grant of a certain barrack * up-
on his eftate within two miles of his own houfe ;
for which the crown is to be his tenant, at the rent
of fixty pounds per annum ; he being only at the ex-
penfe of five hundred pounds to put the houfe in
repair, build ftables, and other neceffaries. I will
place this invidious mark of beneficence conferred
on a Tory in a fair light, by computing the cofts
and neceffary defalcations : after which it may be
feen how much Sir Arthur will be annually a clear
gainer by the public ; notwithftanding his unfortu-
nate principles, and his knowledge in Greek and
Latin.
For repairs, <&c. 500 1. the intereft where- ?
of, per annum, - - 3
For all manner of poultry to furnifh the
troopers, but which the faid troopers ?
mnft be at the labour of catching, va- C 5 ° °
lued per ann. - - ■■ **
For ftraggling fheep,
For game deftroyed five miles round
8
0
0
6
0
0
49
0
0
60
0
0
49
0
0
Kent paid to Sir Arthur,
Deduft
Piemains clear, - - 1 1 o o
* See a poem upon this incident, intitled, Tleg'ar.dquejaon dtbat-
Thus
THE LORD CARTERET. 89
Thus, if Sir Arthur Achefon fliall have the good
fortune to obtain a grant of this barrack, he wil^.
receive neat profit annually from the crown ELE-
VEN pounds Sterling to help him in entertaining
the officer and making provifions for his yonnger
children.
• It is true, there is another advantage to be ex-
pected, which may fully compenfate the lois of
cattle and poultry ; by multiplying the breed ot
mankind, and particularly that of good proteftants,
in a part of the kingdom half depoprdated by the
wild humour among the farmers there of leaving
their country. But I am not fo ikiltul in arithme-
tic as to compute the value.
I have reckoned one per cent, below the legal in-
tereft for the money that Sir Arthur mult expend ;
and valued the damage in the other articles very
moderately. However, I am confident he may
with good management be a faver at leaft ; which
is a prodigious initante of moderation in our friends
towards a profefled Tory : whatever merit he may
pretend by the unwillingnefs he hath fhewn to make
his Excellency uneaiy in his adrniniftration.
Thus I have, with the utmoft impartiality, col-
lected every fingle favour (further than perlonal ci-
vilities) conferred by his Excellency on Tories, and
reputed Tories, iince his fir ft arrival hither to this
30th day of April, in the year ,of our Lord 1 *]-'\oy
giving all allowance poffible to the arguments on the
other iide of the queftion : and the account will
ftand thus.
Difpofed of preferments and employments to
Tories, or reputed Tories, by his Excellency John
Lord Carteret, Lord Lieutenant of Ireland, in a-
bout the fpace of fix years :
H x To
()o A VINDICATION OF
To Doctor Thomas Sheridan, in a rec-7
tory near Kinfale, -per nnnum, } I0° ° °
To Sir Arthur Achefbn, baronet, a?
barrack, per ann. - 3 lx °
I 1 1 o
Give me leave now to compute in grofs the va-
lue of the favours done by his Excellency to the !
true friends of their king and country, and of the
Proteftant religion.
It is to be remembered, that although his Excel-
lency cannot be properly faid to beftow bifhoprics, |
commands in the army, the place of a judge, or
commiffioner in the revenue, and fome others ; yet I
they are for the moft part difpofed upon his recom-
mendation, except where the perfons are immedi- .
ately fent from England by their intereft at court ;
for which I have allowed great defalcations in the
following accounts. And it is remarkable, that
the only confiderable {ration conferred on a Tory
iince his prefent Excellency's government was of this
latter kind.
And ndeed it is but too notorious, that in a
neighbouring nation (where this dangerous deno-
mination of men is incomparably more numerous*
mere powerful, and of confequence more formi-
dable) real Tories can often with much lefs difficul-
ty obtain very high favours from the government,
than their reoutedbredirencan arrive to the loweft
in ours. I obferve this, with all poilible fubmiffion
to the wifdom of their policy ; which, however,
will not, I believe, difpute the praife of vigilance
with ours.
WHIG
THE LORD CARTERET.
W H I G account.
To perfons promoted to bishopries, or
removed to more beneiicial ones,
computed per ann.
To civil employments
To military commands
To Tories,
Balance
TORY account.
9*
10,050 o o
9030 o o
8436 o o
27,516 o o
1 1 r o o
27.405 o o
I mall conclude with this obf rvation, that as I
think, the Tories have Sufficient reafon to be Fully
iatisried wich the fhare of tiuft, power, and em-
ployments, which they pollers under the lenity of
the prefent government ; fo I do not find how his
Excellency can be juftly cenfured for favouring
none but high-church, high-fliers, termagants,
Laudifts, Sacheyerellians, tip top-gallon-men, Ja-
cobites, tantivies Anti-hanoverians, friends to Po-
pery and the Pretender and to abitrary power, difo-
bligers of England, breakers of DEPENDENCY,
inflamers of quarrels between the two nations, pu-
blic incendiaries, enemies to the king and kingdoms,
haters of TRUE Poteffants, laurel-men, Armifts,
conlplainer's of the nation's poverty, Ormondians,
iconociafts, anti-glorious-memorifts, anti-revolu-
tioners, white-rcialifts, tenth-a-junians, and the
like, when, by a fair ftate of the account, the ba-
lance, I conceive, feems to lie on the other lide.
Considerations
L 92 3
Considerations upon two BILLS fent
down from the Right Honourable the houfe
ot Lords to the Honourable the houfe of
Commons in Ireland, relating to the
Clergy
*
Written in the year 173 1.
I
Have often for above a month pail deiired fome
few clergymen., who are pleafed to viiit me, that
they would procure an extract of two bills brought
into the council by fome of thebimops, and both of
them fince parTed in the houfe of Lords : but I
could never obtain what I deiired, whether by the
forgetfulnefs or negligence of thofe whom I em-
ployed, or the difficulty of the thing itfelf. There-
fore, if I mall happen to miftake in any fact of con-
fequence, I defire my remarks upon it may pafs for
nothing; for my information is no better, than
what I received in words from feveral divines, who
feemed to agree with each other. I have not the
honour to be acquainted with any one flngle pre-
late of the kingdom : and am a ftr answer to their
* In the year 173 t, a bill was brought into the houfe of Lords, by
a great majority of he Right Reverend the bifhops, for enabling them
to divide the livings of the inferior clergy ; which bill was approved
of in the privy council 0 Ireland, and paffeu by the Lords in parlia-
ment. It was afterwards fent 10 :.he houfe of Commons for their ap-
probation; but was rejected by them with a great majority. The au-
thor of he following c rfi ierations, who hath always been the belt
friend to the inferior clergy of the church of England, as may be fetn
by many parts of his writings, oppofed this pernicious project with
great fuccefs; which, if it had palled into a law, would have been of
the worit confequencs to this nation. Dub. edit, 1738.
characters,
CONSIDERATIONS UPON, 6c. 93
characters, further than as common fame reports
them, which is not to be depended on : therefore
' I cannot be fuppcfed to a<£t upon a principle of re-
fentment. I eiteem their function (if I may be al-
lowed to fay fo without offence) as truly apofloiical,
and abfolutely necefiary to the perfection of a Chris-
tian church.
There are no qualities more incident to the frailty
and corruptions of humankind, than an indifference
or infeniibility for other mens fufferings, and a Hid-
den forgetfulnefs of their own former humble ftate,
when they rife in the world. Thefe two difpofl-
tions have not, I think, any where fo ftrongly ex-
erted themfelves, as in the order of biihops with
regard to the inferior clergy ; for which I can find
no reafonss, but fuch as naturally ihould feem to
Operate a quite contrary way. The maintenance of
the clergy throughout the kingdom is precarious
and uncertain, collected from a moft miferable race
of beggarly farmers; at whofe mercy every mini-
fter lies to be defrauded. His office, as rector or
vicar, if it be duly executed, is very laborious. As
foon as he is promoted to a bifhopric, the fcene is
entirely and happily changed ; his revenues are
large, and as furely paid as thofe of the King; his
whole bufinefs is once a-year to receive the attend-
dance, the fubmiffion, and the proxy-money of all
his clergy, in whatever part of the diocefe he fhall
pleafe to think moft convenient for himfelf. Neither
is his perfonal prefence neceffary, for the bufinefs
may be done by a vicar-general. The fatigue of or-
dination is juft what the bifhcps pleafe to make it ;
and as matters have been for fome time, and pro-
bablv remain, the fewer odinations the better. The
reft of their vifible office confilrs in the honour of
attending parliaments and councils, and beftowing
preferments in their own gift ; in which lair, em-
ployment, and in their fpiritual and temporal
courts, the labour falls to their vicars-general, fecre-
taries.
94 CONSIDERATIONS UPON
taries, proctors, apparitors, fenefchals, and the like]
Now, I fay, in fo quick a change, whereby theii |
brethren in a few days are become their fubjects, i I
would be reafonable at leaft to hope that the labour
confinement, and fubjection, from which they have I
fo lately efcaped, like a* bird out of the fnare o:
the fowler, might a little incline them to the con j
dition of thofe who were but laft week their equals I
probably their companions or their friends, and pof
fibly as reafonable expectants. There is a knowr
ftory of Colonel Tidcomb, who, while he conti
nued a fubaltern officer, was every day complain- j
ing againft the pride, oppreffion, and hard treat-
ment of colonels towards their officers ; yet in 3J
very few minutes after he had received his commif-
fion for a regiment, walking with a friend on the
Mall, he confeffed that the fpirit of colonelfhip was
coming fait upon him, which fpirit is faid to have
daily increafed to the hour of his death.
It is true, the clergy of this kingdom, who are
promoted to bifhoprics, have always fome great ad-
vantages ; either that of rich deaneries, opulent
and multiplied rectories and dignities, ftrong alli-
ances by birth or marriage, fortified by a fuperla-
tive degree of zeal and loyalty : but however, they
were all at firft no more than young beginners ; and
before their great promotion were known by their
plain Chriftian names among their old companions,
the middling rate of clergymen ; nor could there^
fore be ftrangers to their condition, or with any
good grace forget it fo foon, as it hath too often
happened.
I confefs, I do not remember to have obferved
any body of men acting with fo little concert, as our
clergy have done in a point where their opinions
appeared to be unanimous : a point wherein their
whole temporal fupport was concerned, as well as
their power of ferving God and his church in their
fpiritual functions. This hath been imputed to
their
TWO BILLS. 95
heir fear of difobliging, or hopes of further fa-
• i ours upon compliance ; becaufe it was obferved,
hat fome who appeared at firft with the greateft
Leal, thought fit fuddenly to abfent themfelves from
[ he ufual meetings ; yet we know, what expert fo-
(licitors the Quakers, the DilTenters, and even the
i ?apifts have fometimes found to drive a point of
idvantage, or prevent an impending eyiL
I have not ieen any extract from the two bills in-
troduced by the bifhops into the privy council ;
Ivhere the clergy, upon fome failure in favour, or
' hrough the timoroufnefs of many among their
■brethren, were refufed to be heard by the council.
Ht feems, theie bills were both returned, agreed to
by the King and council in England, and the houfe
Ibf Lords hath, with great expedition, pafTed them
[both ; and it is faid, they are immediately to be
fent down to the Commons for their confent.
The particulars, as they have been imperfectly
i reported to me, are as follows.
By one of the bills, the bifhops have power to
oblige the country clergy to build a manfion-houle
upon whatever part of their glebes their Lordfhips
ihall command; and if the living be above 50 A a-
year, the minifler is bound to build after three years
a houfe that ihall coft one year and a half's rent cf
his income. For inftance, if a clergyman with a
'wife andfeven children gets a living of 5^/. per an-
wmtm, he mult after three years build a houfe that
ihall coft 77 /. ic s. and muft iupport his family*
.during the time the bifhop fhall appoint for the
: building of it, with the remainder. But, if the
living be under 50 /. a year, die minifter ihall be al-
lowed i®o /. out of the firft fruits.
But there is faid to be one circumflancealittle ex-
traordinary ; that if there be a iingle fpot in the glebe
more barren, more marihy, more expoied to the
Winds, more diftant from the church or ikeletonot
a church, or from any conveniency of building; the
rector,
96 CONSIDERATIONS UPON
rector, or vicar may be obliged by the caprice or
pique of the bifhop, to build, under pain of fequef-
tration, (an office which ever falls into the moil
knaviih hands), upon whatever point his Lordihip
fhall command ; although the farmers have not paid
one quarter of his dues.
I believe, under the prefent diftrefTes of the king-
dom, {which inevitably without a miracle mnft in-
creafe for ever) , there are not ten country-clergymen
in Ireland, reputed to pollers a pariih of ioo /. per
annum, who for fome years paft have actually receiv-
ed 60 /. and that with theutmoft difficulty and vexa-
tion. I am therefore at a lofs, what kind of valua-
tors the bilhops will make ufe of; and whether -the
ftarving vicar {Kali be forced to build his houfe with
the money he never received.
The other bill, which paiTed in two days after the
former, is laid to concern the divifion of parifhes
into as many parcels as the biihops mall think fit,
only leaving 300 /. a-year to the mother church ; I
which 300 /. by another act paffied fome years ago,
they can divide likewise, and crumble as low as their
#ill md pleasure will difpofethem, So that inftead I
of iix hundred clergymen, which, I think, is the
ufual computation, we may have in afmallcompafs
of years almoft as many thoufands to live with de->
cency and comfort, provide for their children, be
Charitable to the poor, and maintain hofpitaiity.
But it is very reafonable to hope, and heartily to
be wifhed by all thofe who have the leaft regard to
our holy religion as hitherto eftabliihed, or to a
learned, pious, diligent, converfible clergyman, or
even to common humanity, that the Honourable
Houfe of Commons will, in their great wifdom,
juftice, and tendernefs to innocent men, confider
thefe bills in another light. , It is faid, they well
know this kingdom not to be fo overstocked with
neighbouring gentry, but a difcreet learned clergy-
man, with a competency fit for one of his educa-
tion
TWO BILLS. 97
i tion, may be an entertaining, a ufeful, and fome-
itimes a neceflary companion : That, although fuch
Ik clergyman may not' be able conftantly to iind beef
land wine for his own family, yet he may be allow-
t ed fometimes to afford both to a neighbour without
Idifti effing himfelf ; and the rather, becaufe he may
lexpect at lean: as good a return. It will probably
■be confidered, that in many defolate parts there
■may not be always a fufficient number of perfons
Iconfiderable enough to be truftqd with commiffions
■of the peace, which feveral of the clergy now iup-
Iply much better, than a little, hedge, contemptible,
■illiterate vicar from twenty to fifty pounds a-year,
Ithe fon of a weaver, pedlar, tailor, or miller, can
■be prefumed to do.
The landlords and farmers by this fcheme can
■find no proiit, but will certainly be lofers. For in-
Iftance, if the large northern livings be fplit into a
■dozen parifhes or more, it will be very neceflary
llfor the little threadbare gownman, with his wife,
mis proctor, and every child who can crawl, to
Kvatch the fields at harvert-time for fear of loflng
jja fingle fheaf, which he could not afford under pe
Iril of a day's ltarving : for, according to the Scotch
fcrovcrb, " A hungry loufe bites fore." This would
fcf neceflity breed an infinite number of wrangles
land litigious fuits in the fpiritual courts ; and put
■he wretched paftor at perpetual variance with his
■Uhole pariih. But, as they have hitherto ftood, a
Irlergyman eftablimed in a competent living is not
ander the neceflity of being fo lharp, vigilant, and
sxacling. On the contrary, it is well known and
illowed, that the clergy round the kingdom think
:hemlcives well treated, if they lofe only one iimde
hird of their legal demands.
The Honourable houfe may perhaps be inclined
o conceive, that my Lords the Eifhops enjoy as
impie a power, both fpiritual and temporal, as will
:uliv fuffice to anfwer every branch of their office ;
Vol. IV. I that
9* CONSIDERATIONS UPON
that thev want no laws to regulate the conduct of i
.thofe clergymen over whom they prelide ; that, it
nomreiiftance be a grievance, it is the patron's
fault, who makes not a better choice, or caufed the
plurality. That, if the general impartial character
of performs chofen into the church had been more
regarded, and the motive of party, alliance, kin- I
dred, flatterers, ill judgment, or perfonal favour
regarded lefs, there would be fewer complaints of
non-refidence, want of care, blameable behaviour,
or any other part of mii'conduct ; not to mention
ignorance and ftupidity.
I could name certain gentlemen of the gown,
whofe aukward, fpruce, prim, fneering, and fmirk- j
ing countenances, the very tone of their voices,
and an unaraialy ftrut in their walk, without one
• • i
fingle talent for any one office, have contrived to
get good preferment by the mere force of flattery
and cringing: for which two virtues (the only two
virtues they pretend to) they were, however, utter-
ly unqualified : and whom, if I were in power, al-
though they were my nephews, or had married
my nieces, I could never in point of good con-
fcience or honour have recommended to a curacy
in Connaught.
The Honourable Houfe of Commons may like-
wife perhaps conikler, that the gentry of this king-
dom differ from all others upon earth, being lefs ca-
pable of employments in their own country, than
any others who come from abroad ; and that mo ft
• of them have little expectation of providing for
their younger children otherwife than by the church,
in which there might be fome hopes of getting a
tolerable-maintenance. For after the patrons mould
" have fettled their fons, their nephews, their nieces,
their dependents, and their followers invited over
from the other fide, there would ftill remain an
overplus of fmaller church-preferments to be given
to fuch clergy of the nation, who fhall have their
quantum
TWO BILLS. 99
quantum of whatever merit may be then in fafhion,
But by thefe bills they will be all as absolutely ex-
cluded, as if they had palTed under the denomina-
tion of Tories ; unlefs they can be contented at the
utmoft with 50 /. a-year; which by the difficulty of
collecting tithes in Ireland, and the daily increasing
miferies of the people, will hardly rife to half that
fum.
It is obferved, that the divines fent over hither
to govern this church have not feemed to confider
the difference between both kingdoms with 1 efpect
to the inferior clergy. As to themfelves indeed,
they find a large revenue in lands let at one quarter
value, which confequently muft be paid while there
is a penny left among us ; and the public diftrefs fo
little affects their- intercfes, that their fines are now
higher than ever : they content themfelves to fup-
pofe, that whatever a parifh is- faid to be worth,
comes all into the parfons's pocket.
The poverty of great numbers among the clergy
of England hath been the continual complaint of
all men, who wifh well to the church, and many
fchemes have been thought on to redrefs it; vet an
D ' J -
Englifh vicar of 40 /. a-year, lives much more com-
fortably than one of double the value in Ireland.'
His farmers generally fpeaking, are able and willing;
to pay him his full dues ; he hath a decent church
of ancient {landing, filled every Lord's day with a
large congregation of plain people, well clad, and
behaving themfelves as if they beljeved in God and
Christ. He hath a houfe and barn in repair, a
field or two to graze his cows, with a garden and
orchard. No gueft expects more from him than a.
pot of ale : he lives like an honefi: plain farmer,
as his wife is drefild but little better than goody.
He is fometimes gracioufly invited by the 'fquire,
where he fits at an humble diftance : if he gets the
love of his people, they often make him little ufe-
ful prefents : lie is happy by being born to no-
1 2 h ioher
ico CONSIDERATIONS UPON
higher expectation ; for he is ufually the Ton of
iome ordinary tradefman, or middling farmer.
His learning is much of a iize with his birth and
education ; no more of either, than what a poor
hungry fervitor can be expected to bring with him
from his college. It would be tedious to fhew the
reverfe of all this in our diftant poorer parimes
through moft parts of Ireland, wherein every read-
er may make the comj!arifon.
Laftly, the Honourable Houfe of Commons may
coniider, whether the fcheme of multiplying beg-
garly clergymen through the whole kingdom, who
mult all have votes for chilling parliament-men,
(provided they can prove their freeholds to be worth
40 s. per annum, ultra reprifas), may not, by their
numbers, have great influence upon elections; be-
ing entirely under the dependence of their bifhops.
For by a moderate computation, after all the divi-
iions and fubdivifions of parimes, that my Lords
the Bifhops have power to make by their nevr lav/2,
there will, as foon as the prefent fet of clergy goes
ofF, be railed an army of eccleliaftical militants able
enough for any kind of fervice, except that of the
altar.
I am indeed in fome concern about a fund for
building a thousand or two churches, wherein thefe
probationers may read their wall-lectures ; and be-
gin to doubt they muft be contented with barns ;
which barns will be one great advancing ftep to-
wards an accommodation with our true Proteftant
brethren, the DifTentcrs.
The fcheme of encouraging clergymen to build
hordes by dividing a living of 5C0 /. a-year into ten
parts is a contrivance, the meaning whereof hath
got on the wrong lide of my comprehenfion ; un-
lefs it may be argued ; that bifhops build no houfes,
becaufe they are fo rich ; and therefore the inferior
clergy will certainly build, if you reduce them to
beggary. .But I knew a very rich man of quality
in
TWO BILLS. 101
in England, who could never be perfnaded to keep
a fervant out of livery, becaufe Inch fervants would
be expensive, and apt in time to look like gentle-
men ; whereas the others were ready to iubmit to
the bafeft offices, and at a cheaper pennyworth
might increafe his retinue.
I hear, it is the opinion of many wife men, that
before thefe bills pais both houfes, they fhould be
fent back to England with the following clauils
infer ted.
Firft, that whereas there may be about a dozen:
: double bifhoprics in Ireland, thofe bishopries fliould
be fplit and given to different perfons ; and thofe
of a iin^le denomination be alio divided into two,
three, or four parts^ as oceaiion fhall require ; o-
' therwife there may be a queftion ftarted, Whether
twenty-two prelates can effectually extend their pa-
ternal care and unlimited power, for the protection ■
and correction of fo great a number of fpiritual
fubjects. But this propofal will meet with iuch'fu-
1 rious objections, that I fliall not iniift upon it: for
I well remember to have read, what a terrible fright
the frogs were in, upon a report, that the fun was -
i going to marry.
Another ciaufe fliould be, that none of thefe
twenty, thirty, forty, or fifty pounders may be fuf-
fered to marry under the penalty of immediate de-
i privation; their marriages declared null, and their
i children baftards : for fome defponding people take
the kingdom to be in no condition of encouraging
, fo numerous a breed of beggars.
A third ciaufe will be neceilray, that thefe hum-
• ble gentry fhould be abfolutely difqualirled from,
giving votes in elections for parliament-men
Others add a fourth ; which is a ciaufe of indul-
gence, that thefe reduced divines may be permitted
to follow any lawful ways of living, which will not
Call them too often or too far from their fpiritual
offices : (for, unkis I mifapprehend, they are fup-
I 3 pofed
io2 CONSIDERATIONS UPON
pofed to have epifcopal ordination). For example,
they may be lappers of linen, bailiffs of the manor;
they may let blood, or apply plaifters for three
miles round : they may get a difpenfation to hold
the clerkfhip and fextonlhip of their own parifh in
commendam. Their wives and daughters may make
fhirts for the neighbourhood ; or, if a barrack be
near, for the foldiers : in linen countries they may
card and fpin, and keep a few looms in the houfe:
they may let lodgings, and fell a pot of ale with-
out doors, but none at home, unlefs to fober com-
pany, and at regular hours. It is by fome thought
a little hard, that in an affair of the lait confe-
quence to the very being of the clergy in the points
of liberty and property, as well as in their abilities
to perform their duty, this whole reverend body,
who are the efhvblimed inftructors of the nation in
Chriftianity and moral virtues, and are the only
perfons concerned, fhould be the fole perfons not
confulted. Let any fcholar fhew the like precedent
in Chriftendom for twelve hundred years pair. An
act of parliament for fettling or felling an eftate in
a private family is never paffed, until all parties give
confent. But in the preient cafe, the whole body
of the clergy is, as themfelves apprehend, deter-
mined to utter ruin without once expecting or aik-'
ing their opinion ; and this by a fcheme contrived
only by one part of the convocation, while the o-
ther part which hath been chofen in the ufual
forms, wants only the regal permiffion to affemble,
and confult about die affairs of the church, as their
predecefibrs have always done in former ages ;
where it is prefumed, the lower houfe hath a power
of propoiing canons and a negative voice, as well
as the upper. And God forbid (fay thefe objectors)
that there mould be a real feparate intereft between
the biihops and clergy, any more than there is be-
tween a man and his wife, a king and his people,
or Christ and his church.
It
TWO BILLS. 103
It feems there is a provifion in the bill, that no
parifh ihall be cut into fcraps without the confent
of feveral perfons, who can be no fufferers in the
matter ; but I cannot find that the clergy lay much
weight on this caution ; becaufe they argue, that
the very perfons from whom thefe bills took
their rife, will have the greatelt fhare in the de-
cifion.
I do not by any means conceive the crying fin of
the clergy in this kingdom to be that of non-refi-
dence. I am lure, it is many degrees lefs fo here
than in England ; unlefs the polTeflion of plurali-
ties may pafs under that name ; and if this be a
fault, it is well known to Whom it mult be imput-
ed : I believe upon a fair inquiry (and I hear an
inquiry is to be made) they will appear to be moft
pardonably few ; efpecially, confidering how many
parifhes have not an inch of glebe, and how diffi-
cult it is upon any reafonabie terms to find a place
of habitation. And therefore, God knows, whe-
ther my Lords the Bifhops will be foon able to con-
vince the clergy, or thofe who have any regard for
that venerable bodv, that the chief motive in their
Lordihips minds by procuring thefe bills was to
prevent the fin of non-reiidence ; while the uni-
verfal opinion of almoft every clergyman in the
kingdom, without diftincYion of party taking in
even thofe who are not likely to be fufterers, ftands
directly againft them.
If fome livings in the north may be juftly thought
too large a compafs of land, which makes it incon-
venient for the remoter! inhabitants to attend the
fervice of the church, which in fome inftances
may be true, no reafonabie clergyman would op-
pofe a proper remedy by particular acts of par-
liament.
Thus, for inftance, the deanery of Down, a
country deanery, I think, without a cathedral, de-
pending
104 CONSIDERATIONS UPON
pending wholly upon an union of pariflies joined
together in a time when the land lay wafte and
thinlv inhabited ; fince thofe circumftances are fo
prodigioufly changed for the better, may properly
be lefTencd, leaving a decent competency to the
Dean, and placing rectories in the remaining
churches, which are now ferved only by ftipendi-
ary curates.
The cafe may be probably the fame in other
parts ; and fuch a proceeding difcreetly managed
would be truly for the good of the church.
For it is to be obferved, that the dean and chap-
ter lands, which, in England, were all feized under
the fanatic ufurpation, are things unknown in Ire-
land, having been long ravifhed from the church
by a fucceffion of confuiions, and tithes applied in
their ftead to fupport that ecclefiaftical dignity.
The late * Archbilhop of Dublin had a very dif-
ferent" way of encouraging the clergy of his diocefe
to refidence: when a leale hadrun out feven years
or more, he ftipulated with the tenant to refign up
twenty or thirty acres to the minifter of the pariili
where it lay convenient, without leflening his for-
mer rent ; and with no great abatement of the fine ;
and th;s he did in the parts near Dublin, where land
is at the higheft rates, leaving a fmall chiefry for
the minifter to pay, hardly a fixth part of the va-
lue. I doubt not, that almoft every bifhop in the
kingdom may do the fame generous act with lefs
damage to their fees, than his late Grace of Dub-
lin ; much of whofe lands were out in fee-farms,
or leafes for lives ; and I am forry that the good
example of fuch a prelate hath not been follow-
ed.
But a great majority of the clergy's friends can-
not hitherto reconcile themfelves to this project ;
* The Right Feversnd Dr William King.
which
TWO BILLS. 10$
.which they call a levelling principle, that muft in-
evitably root out the feeds of ali honeft emulation,
the legal parent of the greateft virtue and moft ge-
inerous actions among men ; but which, in the ge-
neral opinion, (for I do not pretend to offer my
own), will never more have room to exert itfelf in
the breaft of any clergyman whom this kingdom
fhall produce.
But whether the confequences of thefe bills may,
by the virtues and frailties of future bifhops fent
over hither to rule the church, terminate in good
or evil, I mall not prefume to determine, iince
God can work the former out of the latter. How-
ever, one thing I can venture to afiert ; that from
the earlieft ages of Chriitianity to the minute I am
now writing, there never was a precedent of fuch
a proceeding, much leis was ;t to be feared, hoped,
or apprehended from fuch hands in any Chriltian
country ; and fo it may pals for more than a phe-
nix ; becaufe it hath rifen without any affiftance
from the afhes of its lire.
The appearance of fo many DiiTenters at the
hearing of this caufe is what, I am told, hath not
been charged to the account of their prudence or
moderation ; becaufe that action hath been cenfur-
ed as a mark of triumph and infult before the vic-
tory is complete : fince nither of thefe bills hath
yet patTed the houfe of Commons, and fome are
pleafed to think it not impoffible that they may be
rejected *. Neither do I hear, that there is an en-
acting claufe in either of the bills to apply any part
of the divided or fubdivided tithes towards increas-
ing the ftipends of the fectaries. So that thefe
gentlemen feem to be gratified like him, who, after
having been kicked down ilairs, took comfort when
he faw his friend kicked down after him.
* They were rejt&ed in the houfe of Commons by a great majo-
rity.
I have
i ©6 CONSIDERATIONS, 6c. 1
I have heard many more objections againft fevf-
ral particulars of both thefe bills ; bin \hey are of
fo high a nature, and carry fuch dreadful innuendos,
that I dare not mention them, refolving to give no
offence, becaufe I well know how obnoxious I have
long been (although I conceive without any fault of
my own) to the zeal and principles of thofe who
place all difference in opinion concerning public
matters to the fcore of di (affection ; whereof I am
at leaft as innocent as the loudeft of my detractors.
-Dublin, Feb. 24.
1731-2.
A PRO-
I C 107 ]
0
A PROPOSAL for an Ad of Parliament, to
pay off the Debt of the Nation, without
taxing the fubject •, by which the number
of landed Gentry will be confiderably in-
creafed, and no Per ion will be the poor-
er, or contribute one Farthing to the
Charge *.
Written in the Year 1732,
THE debts contracted fome years pad for the
fervice and iafety of the nation are grown fo
great, that under our prefent diftreiTed condition
oy the want of trade, the great remittances to pay
abfentees, regiments ferving abroad, and many o-
ther drains of money well enough known and felt,
the kingdoms feems altogether unable to difcharge
them by the common methods of payment : and
.either a poll or land tax would be too odious to
think of, efpecially the latter ; becaufe the lands,
which have been let for thefe ten or do^zen years
pair, were raifed fo high, that the owner can at
prefent hardly receive any rent at all. For it is the
ufual practice of an IriOi tenant, rather than want
land, to offer more for a farm than he knows he
can be ever able to pay ; and in that cafe he grows
defperate, and pays nothing at all. So that a land-
tax upon a racked eltate would be a burthen wholly
iniupportable.
The queflion will then be, How thefe national
* The reader will perceive the following treat; fe to be altogether
ironical.
debts
xo8 A PROPOSAL FOR PAYING
debts can be paid ; and how I can make good the
feveral particulars of my propofal ? which I (hall
now lay open to the public ?
The revenues of their Graces and Lordfhips the
Archbifhops and Bifhops of this kingdom (exclud-
ing the fines) do amount by a moderate computa-
tion to 36,800 /. per annum, I mean the rents which
the bifhops receive from their tenants. But the
real value of thofe lands at a full rent, taking the
feveral fees one with another, is reckoned to be at
lean: three fourths more ; fo that, multiplying
36,800 /. by 4, the full rent of all the bifhops
lands will amount to 147,200/. per annum, from
which fubtracting the prefent rent received by their
Lordfhips, that is, 36,800 /. the profits of the
lands received by the firft and fecond tenants (who
both have great bargains) will rife to the fum of
110,400/. per annum % which lands, if they were
to be fold at twenty-two years purchafe, would raife
a fum of 2,428,800 /. reserving to the bifhops their
prefent rents, only excluding fines.
Of this fum, I propofe, that out of the one half,
which amounts to 1,214,400 /. fo much be applied,
as will entirely difcharge the debts of the nation ;
and the remainder be laid up in the treafury to fup-
ply contingencies, as well as to difcharge fome of
our heavy taxes, until the kingdom mail be in a
better condition.
But whereas the prefent fet of bifhops would be
great lofers by this icheme for want of their fines ;
which would be hard treatment to fuch religious,
loyal, and deferving perfomges ; I have therefore
fet apart the other half to fupply that defeat, which
it will more than fufficiently do.
A bifhop's leafe for the full term is reckoned to
be worth eleven years purchafe ; but if we take the
bifhops round, I ftippofe there may be four years
of each leafe elapfed ; and many of the bifhops
being well ftriken in years, I cannot think their
lives
THE NATIONAL DEBTS. 109
lives round to be worth more than feven years pur-
chafe ; fo that the purchafers may very well afford
fifteen years purchafe for the reverfion, efpeciaily
by one great additional advantage, which I mall
foon mention.
This fum of 2,428,800 /. rrvuft likewife be funk
very considerably ; becaufe the lands are to be fold
only at fifteen years purchafe, and this leifens the
fum to about 1,656,000/.; of which I propofe
twelve hundred thoufand pounds to be applied
partly for the payment of the national debt, and
partly as a fund for future exigencies ; and the re-
maining 456,000 /. I propofe as a fund for paying
the prefent fet of biihops their fines ; which. it will
abundantly do, and a great part remain as an
addition to the public ftock.
Although the biihops round do not in reality
receive three fines apiece, which take up 21 years,
yet I allow it to be fo j but then I will fuppofe them
to take but one year's rent in recompenfe of giving
them fo large a term of life ; and thus multiplying
36,800 by 3, the product will be only 1 10,400 /. fo
that above three fourths will remain to be applied
to public ufe.
If I have made wrong computations, I hope to
be excufed as a frranger to the kingdom ; which I
never faw till I was called to an employment, and
yet where I intend to pafs the reft of my days ; but
I took care to get the be ft informations 1 could, and
from the moft proper perfons ; however the rnif-
takes I may have been guilty of will very little affect
the main of my propofal ; although they mould
caufe a difference of one hundred thoufand pounds
imore or lefs.
The fines are only to be paid to the biihop during
his incumbency in the fame fee.: if he change it for
a better, the purchafers of the vacant fee lands are
to come immediately into poiTeihon of the fee he
hath left ; and both the biihop who is removed,
Vol. IV. K and
no A PROPOSAL I Oil PAYING
and he who comes into his place, are to have no
more fines ; for the removed biihop will find his
account by a larger revenue ; and the other fee will
iind candidates enough. For the law-maxim will
here have place, Caveat emptor ; I mean, the per-
sons who fucceed may chafe whether they will ac-
cept or no.
As to the purchafers, they will probably be te-
nants to the fee, who are already in poiTciTion, and
can afford to give more than any other bidder.
I will further explain myfelf. If a perfon alrea-
dy a bifhop be removed into a richer fee, he muff
be content with the bare revenues without any fines;
and fo muft he who conies into a bifhopric vacant
by death : and this will bring the matter fooner to
bear ; which if the crown iliall think fit to coun-
tenance, will foon change the prefent fet of bifhops;
and confequently encourage purchafers of their
lands. For example: If a primate mould die, and
the ^nidation be wifely made, almoft the whole fet
of bifhops might be changed in a month, each to
his great advantage, although no fines were to be
got ; and thereby lave a great part of that fum which
I have appropriated towards fupplying the deficien-
cy of lines.
I have valued the biihops lands two years pur-
chafe above the uiual computed rate, becauie thofe
lands will have a fanction from the King and coun-
cil in England, and be confirmed by an ac~t of par-
liament here : befides, it is well known, that high-
er prices are given every day for worfe lands, at the
remoter! difcances, and at rack-rents, which I take
to be occaiioned by want of trade : when there are
few borrowers, and the little money in private
hands lyi^g dead, there is no other way to difpofe
of it, but in buying of land ; which confequently
makes the owners hold it fo high.
Befides paying the nation's debts, the fale of thefe
lands would have many other good eiiecls upon the
nation.
THE NATIONAL DEBTS. m
lnation. If will conflderably incrcafe the numlv •
|of gentry, where the biihop's tenants are not able
lor willing to purchafe ; for the lands will afford ■*
[hundred gentlemen a good revenue to each : iove-
|ral perfons from England will probably be glad to
Icome over hither, and be the buyers, rather than
Igive thirty years purchafe at home under the loads
[of taxes for the public and the poor, as well as re*
[pairs : by which means much money may be brought
lamong us ; and probably fome of the purchalcr^
Ifhemielves may be content to live cheap in a worfs
[country, rather than be at the charge of exchange
[and agencies; and perhaps of non-iblvencics inab-
jfence, if they let their lands too high.
This propoiai will alio multiply farmers, when-
I the purchafers wil have lands in their own pew-
ler to pive long and eafv leafes to induftrious huf-
bandmen.
I have allowed fome biilioprks, of equal income,
I to be of more or tefe value to the purckafer, ac-
I cording as they are circumftanccd. For inftance :
J The lands of the primacy and fome other fees are
llet-fo lew, that they hardly pay a finh penny of the
[real value to the bifhop, and there the lines are tl
greater. On the contrary, the fees of Heath and
Cionfert confiding, as I am told,, much of tithes,
thofe tithes are annually let to the tenants without
[any fines. So the fee of Dublin is faid to have
many free farms which pay no fines ; and fome
! leafes for lives, which pay very little, and not to
foon nor fo dulv.
I cannot but be confident, that their Graces my
!i Lords the Archbilhops,.and my Lords the Biihops;
\ will heartily join in this propofal out of gratitude
j to his late and prefent Majeity, the bell of kingSj
I who have beftowed on them luch high and opulent
I] ftations ; as well as in pity to this country, which*
I is no?/ become their own ; whereby they will be in-
I ftrumental towards paying the nation's debts, with*
K Z. out
1 1 1 A PROPOSAL FOR PAYING
out impoveri filing themfelves ; enrich an hundred
gentlemen as well as free them from dependency ; [
and thus remove that envy, which is apt to fall .
upon their Graces and Lordfhips from conhder-
abie perfons, whofe birth and fortunes rather qua-
lify them to be lords of manors, than fervile de-
pendents upon churchmen, however dignified or
diiHnguifhed.
If I do not flatter myfelf, there could not be airy-
law more popular than this. For the immediate
tenants to biihops, being fome of them perfons of
quality and good eitates, and more of them grown
up to be gentlemen by the profits of thefe very
Leafes under a fuccefiion of biihcps, think it a dif-
grace to be fubject both to rents and fines at the
pleafure of their landlords. Then the bulk of the
tenants, efpecially the DifTenters, who are our true
loyal Proteifant brethren, look upon it both as an
unnatural and iniquitous thing, that biihops mould
be owners of land at all, (wherein I beg to differ
from them), being a point fo contrary to the prac-
tice of the apoftles, whofe fucceflbrs they are deem-
ed to be ; and who, although they were contented
that land mould be fold for the common ufe of
the brethren, yet would not buy it themfelves; but
had it laid at their feet to be diftributed to poor
profelytes.
I will add one word more ; that by fuch a whole-
fome law all the opprefHons felt by under-tenants
of church-leafes, which are now laid on the bi-
ihops, would entirely be prevented, by their Graces
and Lordfhips conferring to have their lands fold
for payment of the nation's debts ; referving only
the prefent rent for their own plentiful and ho-
nourable fupport.
I beg leave to add one particular ; that when
heads of a bills (as I find the ftyle runs in this king-
dom) mail be brought in for forming this propo-
fal into a law, I fhould humbly offer, that there
might
THE NATIONAL DEBTS. 113
|' might be a power given to every bifhop, exc :pt thofe
who refide in Dublin, for applying one hundred acres
:• of profitable land, that lies neareit Iiis palace, as a
demefne for the convenience of his family.
I know verv well that this lcheme hath been much
talked of for fome time palt, and is in the thoughts
of many patriots; neither was it properly mine, al-
though I fell readilv into it, when it was fir ft com-
municated to me.
Although I am almoft a perfect Granger in this
kingdom ; yet fince I have accepted an employment
here of fome confequence as well as profit, I can-
not but think myfelf in duty bound to confult the
intereft of people, among whom I have been fo well
received. And if I can be any way inftrumental
towards contributing to reduce this excellent pro-
poial into a law, (which being nor in the lea it in-
juiious to England will, I am confident, meet with
no opporition from that fide), my fincere endea
vours to fierve this church and kingdom wi.l be
well rewarded..
ef
W>
m&
K 3
L* ^4 1 I
An Examination of certain Abuses, Cor-
ruptions, and Enormities, in the city
of Dublin.
Written in the year 1732.
NOthing is held more commendable in all great
cities, efpecially the metropolis of a king-
dom, than what the French call the police: by
which word is meant the government thereof, to
prevent the many diforders occalioned by great num-
bers of people and carriages, efpecially through
narrow ftreets. In this government our famous
city of Dublin is faid to be very defective, and u-
niverfally complained of. Many wholfome laws
have been enacted to correct thofe abufes, but are
ill executed ; and many more are wanting ; which I
hope the united wifdom of the nation (whereof fo
many good effects have already appeared thisfeflion)
will foon take into their profound contideration.
As I have been always watchful over the good of
mine own country, and particularly for that of our
renowned city, where (abfit initidia) I had the ho-
nour to 'draw my firft breath ; I cannot have a mi-
nute's cafe or patience to forbear enumerating fome
of the greater! enormities-, abufes, and corruptions,,
fpread almoft through every part of Dublin ; and
propofing Inch remedies, as I hope the legiflature
will approve of.
The narrow compafs to which I have confined
myfelf in this paper, will allow me only to touch
the moil important defects ; and fuch as I think
jfeem to require the moffc fpeedy redrefs.
And
AN EXAMINATION OF ABUSES, &c. 1 15
And firft, perhaps there was never known a wi-
fer inftitution, than that of allowing certain per-
sons of both fexes in large and populous cities to
cry through the Itreets many neceiTaries of life :
it would be endlefs to recount the conveniences
which our city enjoys by this nfeful invention ; , and
particularly ftrangers forced hither by bufincfs, who
reiide here but a fhort time ; for thefe, having ufu-
ally but little money, and being wholly ignorant
of the town, might at an eafy price purchafe a to-
lerable dinner, if thefeveral criers would pronounce
the names of the goods they have to fell in any to-
lerable language. And therefore, until our law-
makers fhall think it proper to i^terpofe fo far as to
make thofe traders pronounce their words in fuch
: terms, that a plain Chriftian hearer may compre-
hend what is cried, I would advife all new comers
to look out at their garret-windows, and there fee
whether the thing that is cried be tripes ox flumme-
ry, butter-milk oy cow-heels \ For$ as things are now-
managed, how is it poffible for an honeft country*
man juit arrived to find out what is meant ; for in-
ftance, by the following words, with which his ears
are conftantly fttinned twice a-day, mugs, jugs> and
porringers, up in the garret ? and down in the cellar ;
I fay, how is it poffible for any ftranger to under-
hand, that this jargon is meant as an* invitation to
buy a farthing's worth of milk for his breakfaft or
fupper, unlefs his curiofity draws him to the win*
dow, or until his landlady {hall inform him ? I
produce this only as one inftance among a hundred
much worfe, I mean, where the words make a found
wholly inarticulate, which give-To much difturbance
and fo little information.
The affirmation folemnly made in the cry of her-
rings is directly again ft all truth and probability;
herrings alive, alive here : the very proverb will con-
vince us of this ; for what is more frequent in or-
dinary fpecch, than to fay of fome neighbour for
whom
n 6 AN EXAMINATION OF ABUSES, &c
whom the paffing bell rings, that he is dead as a hcr~
ring ? And pray how is it poffible, that a herring,
which, as philosophers obferve, cannot live longer]
than one minute three feconds and a half out of wa-
ter, mould bear a voyage in open boats from Howth
to Dublin, be tofTed into twenty hands, and pre-
ferve its life in fieves for feveral hours ? nay, we
have witnefles ready to produce, that many thou-
sands of thefe herrings, fo impudently aiierted to
be alive, have been a day and a night upon dry
land. But this is not the worft. What can we
think of thofe impious wretches, who dare in the
face of the fun vouch the very fame affirmative of
their falmory, and cry falmcn alive, alive ? whereas,
if you call the woman who cries it, fhe is not a-
lliamed to turn back her mantle, and lhew you this
individual falmon cut into- a dozen pieces; I have
given good advice to thefe infamous difgracers of
their fex and callings without the leall appearance
of remorfe, and fully againft the conviction of their
Own confeiences : I have mentioned this grievance
to feveral of our parifh minifters ; but all in vain ;
fo that it muit continue,. until the government fhall
think fit to interpofe..
There is another cry, which, from the ftricttft
obfervation lean make, appears to be very modern,
and it is that of fweethearts * ; and is plainly in-
tended for a reflection upon the female fex ; as if
there were at prefent fe great a dearth of lovers,
that the women, inftead of receiving prefents from
men, were now forced to offer money to purchafe
fweet hearts. Neither am I lure, that this cry doth
not glance at fome difaifec~tion againft the govern-
ment ; inlinuatin^, that while fo many of our
troops are engaged in foreign fervice, and fuch a
great number of our gallant officers conftantly re-
iide in England, the ladies are forced to take up with
* A fort of fugar cakes In the fl.ape of hearts.
parfons I
IN DUBLIN. ir7
jnrfons and attorneys: but this is a moil unjuft re-
feclion, as may foon be proved by any perfon who
frequents the caftle, our public walks, our balls and
iflemblies ; where the crouds of tu/pees * were
never known to iwarm as they do at prefent.
There is a cry peculiar to this city, whic^i I do
lot remember to have been ufed in London ; or at
:aft, not in the fame terms that it hatli been prac-
tifed by both parties, during each of their power,
)ut very unjuftly by the Tories. While thefe were
it the helm, they grew daily more and more impa-
tient to put all true Whigs and Hanoverians out of
employments : to effect which, they hired certain
>rdinary fellows with large baikets on their fhould-
Jers to call aloud at every houfe, Dht to carry out;
'giving that denomination to our whole party ; as if
they would fignify, that the kingdom could never
be cleanfed, until Ave were fwept from the earth like
ijrubbifh. But fince that happy turn of times, when
we were fo miraculoufly preferved by juft an inch
from Popery, flavery, maffacre, and the pretender,
I muft own it is prudence in us ftiil to go on with
the fame cry; which hath ever fince been fo effec-
tually obferved, that the true political dirt is whol-
ly removed, and thrown on its proper dunghills,
there to corrupt and be no more heard of.
But to proceed to other enormities : Every per-
fon who walks the ftreets, muft needs obferve an
immenfe number of human excrements at the doors
and fteps of wafte houfes, and at the fides of every
dead wall ; for which the diiafiected party hath af-
figned a very falfe and malicious caufe : they would
have it, that thefe heaps were laid there privately
by Britifh fundaments to make the world believe,
that our Irifh vulgar do daily eat and drink ; and
•f A new name for a modern periwig with a long black tail, and
for its owner $ new in fafhkn, Dec. i. 1733.
confequently
n8 AN EXAMINATION OF ABUSES, &c.
confequently that the clamour of poverty among
us mult be falfe, proceeding only from Jacobites
and Papifts. They would confirm this by pretend-
ing to obierve, that a Biitiili anus being more nar-
rowly perforated than one of our own country,
and many of thefe excrements, upon a rVic~l view,
appearing couple-crowned with a point like a cone
or pyramid, areeafily diftinguifhed from the Hiber-
nian, which lie much flatter and with lefs continui-
ty. I communicated this conjecture to an eminent
phyiician, who is well verfed in fuch profound fpe-
dilations; and at my requeff was pleafed to make
trial with each of his fingers, by thrufting them in- '
to the a?ms of feveral peribns of both nations, and
profefTed he could find no fuch difference between-
them as thofe ill-difpofed people alledge. On the
contrary, he aiTured me, that much the greater
number of narrow cavities were of Hibernian ori-
gin. This I only mention, to mew how ready the
Jacobites are to lay hold of any handle to exprefs
their malice againit the government. „ I had almoft
forgot to add, that my friend the phyfkian could
by fmelling each finger diftinguiih the Hibernian
excrement from the Britiih, and was not above
twice miftaken in an hundred experiments ; upon
which he intends very foon to publifh a learned dif-
fer tation.
There is a diverfion in this city, which u malty
begins amono- the butchers ; but is often continued
by a fuccefrlon of other people through the ftreets ;
it. is called the COSSING of a dog : and I may juft-
ly number it among our corruptions. The cere-
mony is thus : A'ftrange dog happens to pafs thro''
a fiefh-market ; whereupon an expert butcher im*
mediately cries in a loud voice and the proper tone;
Cifs, cofs, feveral times. The fame word is repeat-
ed by the people. The dog, who perfectly under-
stands the term of art, and confequently the dan-
ger he is in, immmediately flies. The people, and
evem
/
IN DUBLIN. 119
■even his own brother-animals, purfue : the purfuit
pnd cry attend him perhaps half a mile ; he is well
[Lorried in his flight ; and fome times hardly efcapes.
Irhis our ill-wifhers of the Jacobite kind are plea-
led to call a perfecution; and affirm, that it always
Ifalls upon dogs of the Tory principle. But we can
Ivvell defend ourfelves by juftly alledging, that, when
■hey were uppermoit, they treated our dogs full as
inhumanely. As to my own part, who have in
[former times often attended thefe proceflions, al-
though I can very wreli diftinguifh between a Whig
and a Tory dog, yet I never carried my refentment
Ivery far from a party-principle, except it were a-
Igainft certain malicious dogs, who mod difcovered
their enmity againft us, in theworfl times *. And
1 rememember too well, that in the wicked miniftry
of the Earl of Oxford a large maftiffof our par-
ty, being unmercifully coifed, ran without thinking
between my legs, as I was coming up Fifhamble-
ilreet.; and as I am of low ftature with very ihort
legs, bore me riding backwards down the hill for
above two hundred yards : and although I made
ufe of his tail for a bridle, holding it faft with
both my hands, and clung my legs as clofe to
his fides as I could ; yet we both came dowm toge-
ther into the middle of the kennel; where, after
roiling three or four times over each other, I got
up with much ado amidft the fhouts and huzzas of
a thoufand malicious Jacobites. I cannot indeed
but gratefully acknowlege, that for this and many
other fjrvices and iiifferings * I have been iince
more than overpaid.
This adventure may perhaps have put me ouof .
love with the diverlion of colling, which I confefs
imTelf an .enemy to, unlefs we could always be lure
* A cant word ufed by the Whigs for the' four laft years of Queen
Anne's re gri, during ihe Ear! of Oxter !'s miniftry.
•f Sj-. the apokfcy for the Tj!c of a Tub, \c.l. 1.
cf
120 AN EXAMINATION OF ABUSES, &c.
-of diftinguifhing Tory dogs ; whereof great num-
bers have fince been fo prudent, as entirely to
change their principles, and are now juflly efteem-
ed the heft worriers of their former friends.
I am allured, and partly know, that all the
chimney-fweepers boys, where members of parlia-
ment chiefly lodge, are hired by our enemies to fculk
in the tops of chimneys with their heads no higher
than will juft permit them to look round ; and at
the ufual hours, when members are going to the
rioufe, if they fee a coach ftand near the lodging
of any loyal member, they call, Coach, coach, as
loud as they can bawl, juft at the inftant when the
footman begins to give the fame call. And this
h chiefly done on thofe days when any point of im- i
portance is to be debated. This practice maybe of
very dangerous confequence ; for thefe boys are all
hired by enemies to the government ; and thus, by
the abfence of a few members for a few minutes, a
queftion may he carried againft the true intereft of
the kingdom, and very probably not without an
eye towards the pretender.
I have not obferved the wit and fancy of this
town fo much employed in any one article, as that
of contriving variety of figns to hang over houfes,
where punch is to be fold. The bowl is reprefent-
ed full of punch, the laddie ftands erect in the
middle, fupported fometimes by one and fometimes
by two animals, whofe feet reft upon the edge of
the bowl. Thefe animals are fometimes one black
lion, and fometimes a couple ; fometimes a fingle
eagle, and fometimes a fpread one; >and Ave often
meet a crow, a fwan, a bear, or a cock, in the lame
pofture.
Now, I cannot find how any of thefe "animals ei-
ther feparate or in conjunction are, properly fpeak-
ing, fit emblems or embellifhments to advance the
fale of punch. Beildes, it is agreed among natu-
ralifts, that no brute can endure the taftc oi ftrong
Honor,
IN DUBLIN. i2t
liquor, except where he hath been ufed to it from
[ his infancy ; and confequently it is againft all the
\ rules of hieroglyph to aflign thofe animals as pa-
j ttrons or protestors of punch . For in that cafe we
.ought to fuppofe, that the hoft keeps always ready
the real bird or beaft, whereof the picture hangs o-
iver his door, to entertain his guefts ; which, how-
(ever, to my knowledge, is not true in fact; not one
of thofe birds being a proper companion for aChrifti-
I an, as to aiding and affifting in making the punch.
For as they are drawn upon the fign, they are much
| more likely to mute, or fhed their feathers into the
/liquor. Then as to the bear, he is too terrible,
thukward, and flovenly a companion to converfe
Ijwith; neither are any of them handy enough to fill
rliquor to the company; I do therefore vehemently
fulpect a plot intended againft the government by
I'thefe devices. For although the fpread eagle be
the arms of Germany, upon which account it may
jpoflibly be a lawful Proteftant fign, yet I who am
|fvery fufpicious of fair outfides in a matter which f o
linearly concerns our welfare, cannot but call to mind,
that the pretender's wife is faid to be of German
1 birth ; and that many Popifh princes in fo vaft an
extent of land are reported to excel both at making
and drinking punch : befides, it is plain, that the
fpread eagle exhibits to us the perfect figure of a
crofs ; which is a badge of Popery. Then as to
the cock, he is well known to reprefent the French
nation, our old and dangerous enemy. The fwan,
who muft of neceffity cover the entire bowl with
his wings, can be no other than the Spaniard, who
endeavours to engrofs all the treafures of the Indies
ito himfelf. The lion is indeed the common emblem
of royal power, as well as the arms of England ;
but to paint him black is perfect Jacobitifm, and a
manifeft type of thofe who blacken the actions of
the beft princes. It is not eafy to diftinguiih, whe-
ther that other fowl painted over the punch-bowl
Vol. IV. L be
\22 AN EXAMINATION OF ABUSES, Sec
be a crow or a raven. It is true, they have both
been ominous birds : but I rather take it to be the
former ; becaufe it is the difpofition of a crow to
pick out the eyes of other creatures ; and. often
even of Cln iftiars, after they are dead ; and is
therefore drawn here with a defign to put the Ja-
cobites la mind of their old practice, firft to lull us
afleep, (which is an emblem of death) and then to
blind cur eyes, that we may not fee their dangerous
pracV.ces againit the ft ate
To foeak my private opinion: The leaft offenfive
picture in the whole fet feems to be die bear; be-
caufe he reprefents nrfa major', or the great bear,
who prefides over the north, where the reformation
.■firft began; and which, next to Britain (including
Scotland and the north of Ireland) is the great pro-
testor of the true Proteftartt religion. But however
in thofe figns, where I obferve the bear to be chained,
I cannot help furmifing a Jacobite contrivance ; by
which thef: traitors hint an earneit defire of ufing
all true Whigs, as their predecefibrs did the primitive
Christians: I mean, to represent us as bears, and
then halloo their Tory-dogs to bait us to death.
Thus I have given a fair account of what I diflike
in all the figns fet over thofe houfes that invite us to
punch. I own it was a matter that did not need ex-
plaining, being fo very obvious to common under-
standing ; yet I know not how it happens, but me-
thinks there feems a fatal blindnefs to overfpreadour
corporeal eyes, as well as our intellectual; and I
heartily wilh, I may be found a falfe prophet. For
thefe are not bare fufpicions, but manifest demon-
strations.
Therefore, away with thefe popifh Jacobites, and
idolatrous gewgaws. And I heartily wifli a law were
enacted under fevere penalties againit drinking punch
at all; for nothing is eafier, than to prove it adifaf-
fected liquor ; the chief ingredients, which are bran-
dy, oranges, and lemons, are all fent us from Po-
pifh
IN" DUBLIN. 1 23
pifli countries; and nothing remains of Protectant
growth but fugar and water. For as to bifcuit,
which formerly was held aneceffary ingredient, and
is truly Britilh, we find it is entirely rejected.
But I will put the truth of my aiTertion paft all
doubt : I mean, that this liquor is by one important
innovation grown of ill example, and dangerous
confequence to the public. Itiswell known, that by :
the true original inltitution of making punch left us
by Captain RatelhY, the iharpnefs is only occalioned by
the juice of lemons ; andfo continued until after the
happy revolution. Oranges, alas! are a mere inno-
vation, and in a manner but of yefterday. It was
the politics of Jacobites to introduce them gradually;
and to what intent ? the thing ipeaks itfelf. It was
cunningly to fhew their virulence againit his Sacred
Majefty -King William of ever glorious and immor-
tal memory. But of late (to mew how fait difloy-
alty increafeth) they came from one to two, and
then to three oranges ; nay at prefent we often iind
punch made all with oranges, and not one ungle
lemon. For the Jacobites before the death of that
immortal prince, had by a fuperftition formed a
private prayer, that as they fqueezed the orange, fo
might that Pro tefl ant- King be fqueezed to death ;
according to the known fcrc^ry* dcicrlbed by Yir-
iPi
Llmus ut lie durefcit, et bac ut ccra Uqucfdt, &c.
Ana thus the Romans, when they facrificcd art
ex, ufedthis kind of prayer: As I knockdown this
ox, fo mayft thou, O Jupiter ! knock down our
enemies. In like manner, after King William's
death, whenever a Jacobite fqueezed an orange, he
had a mental curfe upon the glorious memory, and
a hearty wim for power to fqueeze all his Majefty's
friends to death, as he fqueezed that orange, which
bore one of his titles, as he was Prince of Orange.
L 2 This
i24 AN EXAMINATION OF ABUSES, &c.
This I do affirm for truth, many of that fac-
tion having confeffed it to me under an oath of
iecrecy, which, however, I thought it my duty not
f6 keep, when I faw my dear country in danger.
But what better can be expected from an impious
i.t of men, who never fcruple to drink ccnfujwn to
all true Pro'teftants under the name of Whip ? A
raoft unchriflian and inhuman practice ; " which,
" to our great honour and comfort, was richer
charged upon us, even by our moil malicious
4i detractors."
The iign of two angels hovering in the air, and
with their right hands fu.pporting a crown, is met!
with in feveral parts of this city ; and hath often I
given me great offence •, for, whether by the un« |
tkiihilnefs or dangerous principles of the painters, 1
(although I have good reafon to fufpect the latter), J
thole angels are ufually drawn with fuch horrid, or I
indeed rather diabolical countenances, that they ]
give great offence to every loyal eye, and e-
qual caufe of triumph to the Jacobites, being a
molt infamous reflection upon our able and excel- I
lent miniftry.
I now return to that great enormity of city-cries, I
mo ft of which we have borrowed from London. I
ihall confider them only in a political view, as they
nearly affect the peace and fafety of both king-
doms ; and having been originally contrived by
wicked Machiavels to bring in popery, flavery, and
arbitrary power, by defeating the Proteftant fuc-
ceilion, and introducing the pretender, ought in
jvrfrice to be here laid open to the world.
About two or three months after the happy re-
volution, all peifons who poiTeiled any emploment
or ofiice, in church or itate, were obligeel by an
act of parliament to take the oaths to King Wil-
liam and Queen Mary ; and a great number of
difarTected pcrfons refilling to take the faid oaths
from a pretended fcruple of confcicnce-, but really
from
IN DUBLIN. 125
from a fpirit of Popery and rebellion, they con-
trived a plot to make the fwearing to thole princes
odious in the eyes of the people. To this end,,
they hired certain women of ill fame, but loud
ihrill voices, under pretence of felling fiili, to go
thro' the ftreets with fieves on their heads, and cry,
Buy my foul, buy my foul; plainly infmuating, that
all thofe who fwore to King William, wercjufh
ready to fell their fouls for an employment. This cry
was revived at the death of Queen Anne, and, I
hear, ftill continues in London with much offence
to all true Proieftants ; but, to our great happinefs,
feems to be almoft-dropt in Dublin.
But, becaufe I altogether contemn the difpleafure
and refentment of High-fliers, Tories, and Jaco-
bites, whom I look upon to be worfe even than
profeiled Papifts, I do here declare, that thole e-
vils which I am going to mention were all brought
in upon us in the worft of times under the late Earl
of Oxford's adminiitration, during the four iaffc
years of Queen Anne's reign. " That wicked mi-
N nifter was univeriallv known to be aPapift in Ivs
heart, - He was of a moil avaritious nature,
and is faid to have died worth four million:!
Sterling, befides his vaft experife in building,
ftatues, plate, jewels, and other coftly rarities. He
was of a mean bbfeure birth, from the very
dregs of the people ; and fo illiterate, that he
could hardly read a paper at the council-table. I
' forbear to touch on h s open, profane, profligate
\ life ; becauie I deiire not to rake into the aihes
1 of the dead; and therefore, I i hall obferve this
1 wife maxim, De mortuis mlmifi hnum"
This flagitious man, in order to compafs his
•lack defigns, employed certain wicked inftruments
which great ftatefmen are never without) to adapt
* The author's ineanisg is ju^ contrary to the lite al fenfe in the
Mtactcr of Lord Oxford.
L 3 feveral
126 AN EXAMINATION OF ABUSES, &c.
feyieral London cries in fuch a manner as would belt
anfwer his ends. And whereas it was upon good
grounds grievoufly fufpected, that all places at court
were fold to the higher! bidder ; certain women
were employed by his emiffaries to carry hfh in bafj
kets on tlieir heads, and bawl through the itreets,
" Buy my frefli places." I muft indeed own, that
other women ufed the fame cry, who were innocent
of this wicked defign, and really fold fiih of that
denomination to get an honeft livelihood ; but the
reft, who were in the fecret, although they carried
hfh in their fieves or baikets to five appearances,
vet thev had likewife a certain lira, fomewhat re-
iembling that of the Free Mafons, which the piu*|
chafers of places knew well enough, and were di-
rected by the women, whither they were to refort
and make their purchafe. And I remember very
well how oddly it looked, when we obferved many
gentLmen finely drelTed about the court- end of the
town, and as far as York-buildings, where the
Lord Treafurer Oxford dwelt, calling the women
who cried, il Buy my frefh places," and talking
to them in the corner of a ftreet, until they under!
itood each other's fign. But we never could ob*
ferve, that any fhh was bought.
Some years before the cries laft mentioned, the
Duke of Savoy was reported to have made certain
overtures to the court of England for admitting
I j is eldeft fon by the Duchefs of Orleans's daugh-
ter to iucceed to the crown, as next heir, upon the
pretender's being rejected ; and that fon was im-
mediately to turn Proteftant. It was confidently
reported, that great numbers of people diforFec'ted
to the then Illultrious, but now Royal Houfe of
Hanover, were in thofe meafures. Whereupon
another fet of women were hired by the Jacobite
leaders to cry through the whole town, " Buy my
u fieooys, dainty javoys, curious favoys?* But I
cannot directly charge the late Earl of Oxford with
this
IN DUBLIN. 127
this confpiracy, becaufe fief was not then chief mi-
nilter. However, this wicked cry flill continues in
London, and was brought over hither, where it re-
mains to this day ; and is, in my humble opinion,
a very offensive found to every true Proteftant,
who is old enough to remember thofe dangerous
times.
During the miniftry of that corrupt and Jacobite
Earl above mentioned, the fecret pernicious defign
of thofe in power was to fell Flanders to France :
the confequence of which muft have been the in-
fallible ruin of the States-General, and would have
opened the way for France to obtain that univerfal
monarchy they have fo long aimed at ; to which
the Britilh dominions muft next after Holland have
been compelled to fubmit, whereby the Proteftant
religion would be rooted out of the world.
A defign of this vaft importance, after long con-
fultation among die Jacobite grandees with the Earl
of Oxford at their head, was at laft determined to
be carried on bv the fame method with the former:
it was therefore again put into practice ; but the
conduct of it was chiefly left to chofen men, whofe
voices were louder and ftronger than thofe of the
other fex : and upon this occafion was fir ft mfti-
tuted in London that famous cry of flounders.
But the criers were particularly directed to pro-
nounce the word /launders, and not founders. For
the country which we now by corruption call Flan-
ders, is in its true orthography fpelt F launder s\ as
may be obvious to all who read old Englifh books.
I fay, from hence begun that thundering cry, which
hath ever fince ftunned the ears of all London,
made fo many children fall into fits, and women
mifcarry ; (l Come buy my frefh flaunders, curious
" flaunders, charming flaunders, alive, alive, ho ;"
which laft words can with no propriety of fpeech
be applied to fifh manifeftly dead, (as I obferved
before in herrings and falmon), but very juftly to
ten
1 23 AN EXAMINATION OF ABUSES, &c.
ten provinces containing many millions of living.!
Chriilians. But the application is flill clofer, when ]
we coniider that all the people Avere to be taken like
fiih.es in a net ; and by aiTiltance of the Pope, who
fets up to be the univerfal niher of men, the whole
innocent nation was, according to our common ex-
preffion, to be " laid as flat as a flounder."
I remember myfelf a particular crier of flounders
in London, who arrived at fo much fame for the
loudnefs of his voice, as to have the honour of
being mentioned upon that account in a comedy..
He hath difturbed me many a morning, before he
came within fifty doors of my lodging : and al-
though I were not in thoie days fo fully apprifed
of the deflgns which our common enemy had then
in agitation, yet, I know net how, by a fecret im-
pulle, young as I was, I could not forbear con-,
ceiving a ftrong diflike againft the fellow ; and of-
ten faid to myfelf, " Tliis cry feems to be forged
" in the Jefuits fchool : alas, poor England ! I am
" grievoufly miftaken, if there be not fome Popiih
" plot at the bottom." I communicated my
thoughts to an intimate friend, who reproached me
with being too viiionary in my {peculations : but it
proved afterwards, that I conjectured right. And
I have firice reflected, that if the wicked faction.-
could have procured only a thoufand men of as
flrono; luno;s as the fellow I mentioned, none can.
tell how terrible the confequences might have been
not only to thefe two kingdoms, but over all Eu-
rope, by felling Flanders to France. And yet thefe
cries continue unpunished both in London and.
Dublin; although, I confefs, not with equal vehe-
mency or loudnefs ; becaufe the reafon for contriv-
ing this defperate plot is, to our great felicity,
wholly cea fed.
It is well known, that the majority of the Britifh
houfe of Commons in the laic years of Queen Anne's
rtign were in their hearts directly oppoiite to the
Earl
IN DUBLIN. 12*
K.trl of Oxford's pernicious meaflires ; which put
him under the neceffity of bribing them with fala-
ries. Whereupon he had again recourfe to his old
politics. And accordingly his emiflaries were very
bufy in employing certain artful women, of no good
life and converfation, (as it was proved before
Juitice * Peyton), to cry that vegetable commonly
called fellery through the town. Thefe women dif-
fer from the common criers of that herb by fomc
private mark, which I could never learn ; but the
matter was norious enough, and fufficiently talked
of; and about the fame period was the cry of fellery
brought over into this kingdom. But lince there
is not at this prefent the leaft occafion to fufpect
the loyalty of our criers upon that article, I am
content that it may ftill be tolerated.
I fliall mention but one cry more, which hath
any reference to politics ; but is indeed of all others
the moft infolent, as well as treafonable, under our
prefent happy eftablifhment ; I mean that of turn-
ups ; not of turnips, according to the belt ortho-
graphy, but abfolutely turnups. Although the cry
be of an older date than fome of the preceding e-
normities, for it began foon after the revolution ;
yet was it never known to arrive at fo great a
height, as during the Earl of Oxford's power.
Some people (whom I take to be private enemies)
are indeed as ready as myfelf to proftfs their dif-
approbation of this cry, on pretence that it began
by the contrivance of certain old procureiics, who
kept houfes of ill fame, where lewd women met to
draw young men into vice. And this they pretend
to prove by fome words in the cry ; became, after
the crier had bawled out, " Turnups, ho, buy my
" dainty turnups," he would fometimes add the
two following verfes.
* A famous Whig indies in thofe times.
Turn
1 3o AN EXAMINATION OF ABUSES, &c.
Turn up the miftrefs, and turn up the maid,
And turn up the daughter, and be not afraid.
Tills, fay fome political fopliids, plainly fhews,
that there can be nothing farther meant in fo infa-
mous a cry, than an invitation to lewdnefs ; which
indeed ought to be feverely puniihed in all well-re-
gulated governments ; yet cannot be fairly inter-
preted as a crime of ftate. But I hope we are not
fo weak and blind to be deluded at this time of day
with fuch poor evalions. I could, if it were ora-
per, demonlf rate the very time, when thefe two ver-
fes were compofed, and name the author, who was
no other than the famous Mr. Swan fo well known
for his talent at quibbling, and was as virulent a.
Jacobite as any in England Neither could he de-
ny the fact, when he was taxed for it in my pre^
fence, by Sir Henry Duttcn-Colt, and Colonel
Davenport, at the Smyrna coffeehoufe, on the ioth
of June 1 70 1. Thus, it appears to a demonftra^
tion, that thofe verfes were only a blind to conceal
the moft dangerous defigns of the. party ; who*
from the flrfk years after the happy revolution,
ufed a cant way of talking in their clubs, after this
manner : " We hone to fee the cards muffled once
" more, and another King turn up trumph :'>
and, " When mall we meet over a dim. of turn* -
" ups ?" The fame term of art was ufed in their
plots againh: the government, and in their treason-
able letters written in cyphers, and decyphered by.
the famous Dr. Willes, as vou may read in the tri-.
als of thofe times. This I thought fit to fet forth-
at large, and in fo clear a light ; becaufe the Scotch
and French authors have given a very different ac- •
count of the word turnup ; but whether out of
ignorance or partiality, I mall not decree; becaufe,
I am fure, the reader is convinced by my difcovery.
It is to be obferved, that this cry was lung in a par-
ticular
IN DUBLIN. 131
|icular manner by fellows in difguife to give notice,
vhere thole traitors were to meet in order to con-
[ert their villanous deligns.
I have no more to add upon this article, than an
rumble propofal, that thole who cry this root at
krefent in our ftreets of Dublin may be compelled
vy the juftices of the peace to pronounce turnip,
nd not turnup ; for, 1 am afraid, we frill have too
hany fhakes in our bofom, and it would be well if
lieir cellars were fometimes fearched, when the
•wners leafl expect it ; for I am' not out of fear,
pat latet artguis in herb a.
Thus we are zealous in matters of fmall moment,
hiie we neglect thofe of the higheft importance.
have already made it manifeft, that all thefe cries
'■ere contrived in the worft of times, under the
uniitry of that defperate iratefman Robert late
arl of Oxford ; and for that very reafon ought
be rejected with horror, as begun in the reign o£
acobites, and may well be numbered among the
ags of Popery and treafon ; or if it be thought
roper that thefe cries mufb continue, furely they
ught to be only trufted in the hands of true Pro-
ftants, who have given fecurity to the. govern-
lent.
A LET-
C 132 J
«§•«$♦.$••$••$••$• •$ -$•<$• &4>%><&&4- $-$• £•$••$•"§*-$•
A LETTER from a Member of the Houfe
of Commons in Ireland, to a Member of
the Houfe of Commons in England, con-
cerning; the Sacramental Test.
Written in the year 1 708
*
SIR,
T Received your letter, wherein you tell me of the
* ftrange reprefentations made of us on your fide jl
of the water. The inftance you are pleafed to |
mention is that of the Prefbyterian miflionary, who,
accord-
* In the 2d volume of Dr Swift's and Mr Pone's mifcellanies, I
found the following treatife, which had been printed i.i London, with
fome other of the Dean's works, many years before, but it firif came
out by itfelf in the year 170?, as the date fnews : and it was at a juqfl
cture, when the DiiTenters were endeavouring to repeal the facramen-
tal teft, a?, by common fame, and A me pamphlets published to the
fame purpofe, they feem to be now again attempting, with great hope
of fuccefs. I have therefore taken the liberty to make an extract out
of that difcourfe, omitting only fome paffages, which relate to certain
perfons, and are of no confequence to the argument. But the au-
thor's way ofreafoning feems at prefent to have move weight than it
hadinthofe times when the difcou;fe firft appeared. The author,
in this letter, perforates a member of parliament here, to a member
of parliament in England. The fpeaker mentioned in this let-
ter, was Allen Broderick, afterwaids Chancellor and Lord Middleton j
and the Prelate was Dr Lindfay, afterwards Primate. Dub. edit.
This tra£t was reprinted in Ireland in 1735, when the attempt to
repeal the facramental teft was revived. There was an explanatory
advertifement prefixed, which is faid by Lord Orrery to have been
dictated, or ftrittly revifed, by rhe Dean himfelf : but there are inac-
curacies in it, which may. v. ell be thought fuffic'enr to delfroy its au-
thenticity : that which in the firft pa.agraph is called the foHouing
treatife is afterwards laid to be an extratl of a difcourfe, and it is im-
mediately add -d, that this extract is the whole, except fome paffages
of no confequence : thefe are included within crotchets.
Swift
A LETTER, 8cc. it,
according to your phrafe, hath been lately perfe*
cuted at Drogheda for his religion : but it is eafy
to obferve, how mighty induitrious fome people
have been for three or four years paft, to hand a-
bout ftories of the hard (hips, the merits, the num-
ber, and the power of the Prefbyterians in Ireland,
to raife formidable ideas of the dangers of Popery
there, and to tranfmit all for England, improved
by great additions, and with fpecial care to have
them inferted with comments in thofe infamous
weekly papers that infeft your cofFeehoufes. So,
when the claufe enacting a facramental teft was put
in execution, it was given out in England, that half
jthe juftices of peace through this kingdom had laid
I down their commiffions : whereas, upon examina-
tion, the whole number was found to amount only
I to a dozen or thirteen, and thofe generally of the
Woweft rate in fortune and underftanding, and fome
m them fuperannuated. So, when the Earl of
Pembroke was in Ireland, and the parliament fit-
ting, a formal ftory was very gravely carried to his
{Excellency by fome zealous members, of a prieft
jnewly arrived from abroad to the north-weft parts
jbf Ireland, who had publicly preached to his peo-
ple to fall a murthering the Proteftants ; which,
[though invented to ferve an end they were then
iipon, and are frill driving at, was presently hand-
Ed over, and printed with fhrewd remarks by vour
i;.vorthy fcriblers. In like manner the account of
|hat perfon who was lately expelled our univerfity
Swift held ihe DifTenters in the utmofr degree of ridicule and de-
legation. He had an epennefs in his difp, fiaoo, and a franknefi in
bis conduit, that bore an abhorren e to all kind of refervc, To
i uch a difpofiiion it is impcffible that the gravity of Nonconforrnifts
I ;ould be 3g:eea'rle. The diflikewas mutual on both fides. Dr Swift
■ated all fanatics: t\\ fanatics ha ei Dr. Sw.ft. This piece is par-
Ku.arly wrrten againft rtpealing ike ted-afi : and whoever co.:fiders
■imfelf related to the kingaom of Ireland, will find in it fome irgu-
hsmsot weight and consideration, in caie »aj fuch repeal ihould e-
I pr be attempted there, 0 rcry.
Vol. IV. M for
i34 A LETTER CONCERNING THE
for reflecting on the memory of King William ;
what a duff it raifed, and how foully it was related,
is frefh enough in memory* Neither would people
be convinced till the univerflty was at the pains of
publifhing a Latin paper to juitify themfelves. And,
to mention no more, this ifory of the perfecution
at Drogheda, how it hath been fpread and aggra-
vated, what coniequences have been drawn from
it, and what reproaches iixed on thofe who have
leaft deierved them, we are already informed.
Now, if the end o£ all this proceeding were a fecret
and mylfery, i fhonld not pretend to give it an in-
terpretation ; but fufficient care hath been taken to
.explain it, firfti by addreiTes artificially (if not ille-
gally) procured, to fhew the miferable ftate of the
-Diilenters in Ireland by reafbn of the facramentai
fe/i, and to deirre the Queen's interceffion that it
might be repealed. Then, it is manifeft that our
Speaker *, when he was Lift year in England, loli-
cited in perfon feveral members of both houfes, t9
have it repealed by an act there ; though it be a
matter purely national, that cannot poffibly inter-
fere with the trade and interelt of England ; and
though 'he liimfelf appeared formerly the molt
zealous of all men againrt the injuftice of binding
a nation by laws to which they do not confent.
And, laflly, thofe weelily libellers, whenever they |
cet a tale by the end relating to Ireland, without
once troubling their thoughts about the truth, al-
ways end it with an application againft the Jacra-
mental teft, and an abfoiute neceiTity there is of re-
pealing it in both kingdoms. I know it may be
reckoned a weajenefs to fay any thing of fuch trifles j
as are below a ferious man's notice; much lels
would I difparage the undcrftanding of any party,
to think they would chufe the vileft and moft igno-
i
* Mr Allen BrodcriJc, afterwards Ch.:n:cllorof IrJand, anJXorJ
.M.dolctun.
** cant
SACRAMENTAL TEST. 13$
rant among mankind, ro employ them for the al-
ienors of a caulc. I fhall only fay, that the fcan-
dalous liberty thofe wretches take, would hardly
be allowed, if it were not mingled with opinions
that fome men would be clad to advance. Befkles,
how infipid ibever thofe papers are, they fcem to
be levelled to the underftandings of a great num-
ber ; they are grown a neceiTary part in cofFeehoufe
furniture, and fome time or other may happen to
be read by cuftomers of all ranks for curiolity and
lamufement, becaufe they lie always in the way. One
iof thefe authors (the fellow that was pilloried, I have
forgot his name *) is indeed {o grave, fentencious,
dogmatical a rogue, that there is no enduring him ;.
the Obfervator f is much the briiker of the two,
and I think farther gone of late in lies and impu-
dence than his Prefbyterian brother. [The reafon^
kvhv I mention him is to have an occafion of letting
you know, that you have not dealt fo gallantly with
us, as we did with you in a parallel cafe: Lift year
a Daper was brought here from England, called-
" A diaTogne between the-Archbifhop ot Canter-
" bury and Mr. Higgins," which we ordered to be
xirnt by the common hangman, as it well deferv-
ed, though we have no more to do wiih his Grace
of Canterbury %, than you have with the Arch-
^illiop of Dublin ; nor can you love and reverence
pour prelate more than we do ours, whom you
tamely fufter to be abufed openly, and by name, by:
*• The ftllow thit was p:I1ori"d was Daniel Drfoe, whofe narna
5. v\ i ft well knew and retnemb-'^ j but 'be circumftjnee of the pi i -
|rv was to be introduced ; and the. manner of introducing it, frews
;rear art in th: niceft touches of faiiie. and cr.nits all the marks of
idicule, ind'gna'icn, and contempt. The feoffs and farcafms of'
Jvsift, like the bi.e of the rattle- f.iake, ci inguhh themfelves mors
■enomoufly dangerous, than the wounds of a common fscpent*-.
Orrery.
He was pillcried for a traft called, " The ihcrteft way \\Mi the-
< DiiTeiiters.1'
f Mr. John Tuchin. % Dr. Thomas Tenifon.
M 2 that
i36 A LETTER CONCERNING THE
that paltry rafcal of an Obfervator ; and lately up-
on an affair wherein he had no concern ; I mean
ihe bufinefs of the miilionary of Drogheda, where-
in our excellent primate was engaged, and did no-
thing but according to law and difcretion. But be-
cauie the Lord Archbifhop of Dublin || hath been
upon feveral occafions, of late years, mifreprefent-
ed in England, I would willingly fet you right in
his character. For his great fufferings and eminent
fervices he was, by the Lite King, promoted to the
fee of Deny. About the fame time he wrote a
book to juftify the revolution, wherein was an ac-
count of King James's proceedings in Ireland; and
the late Archbiihop Tillotfon recommended it to
the King as the moft ferviceable treatife that could
have been publiflied at fuch a juncture. And
as his Grace fet out upon thofe principles, he has
proceeded fo ever fince, as a loyal fubject to the
Queen,, entirely for the fucceiiion in the Frotriranf
line, and. for ever excluding the pretender ; and
though a firm friend to the church, yet with indul-
gence towards DiiFenters, as appears from his con-
duct at Derry, where he was fettled for many years
among the moft virulent of the feet, yet upon his
removal to Dublin they parted from him with tears
in their eyes, and universal acknowledgments of
his wifdom and goodnefs. For the reft, it muft be
owned, he does not bufy himfelf by entering deep
into any party, but rather fpends his time in acts of
hofpitality and charity, in building of churches,
repairing his palace, in introducing and preferring
the worthicft perfons he can find, without other re-
gards ; in fhort, in the practice of all virtues that
can become a public or private life. This and more,
if poflible, is due to fo excellent a perfon, who may
be juftly reckoned among the greateft and moft
learned prelates of this age, however his character
i) Dr. William Kir.g.
mav
SACRAMENTAL TEST. 157
m::y be defiled by fuch menu and dirty hands as
thole of the Obfervator, or fuch as employ him J
I now come to anfiver the other part of your let-
ter, and fhal! give you my opinion freely about re-
pealing the facramental telt ; only whereas you de-
lire my thoughts as a friend, and not as I am a
member of parliament, I muir. aiTiire you they are
exactly the lame in both capacities.
I mu ft begin by telling you, we are generally fur*
prifed at your wonderful kindnefs to us on This cc-
E ifion, in being fo very induftrious to teach us to
fee our interefb in a point where we are fo unable "
to ice it enriches. This hath e'iven us ibmeiuipi-
ion ; and though, in my own particular, I am
hugely bent to believe, that whenever you concern
youri elves- in our affairs, it is certainly for our
good, yet I have the misfortune to be fomething
lingular in this belief, and therefore I never attempt
ojuftify it, 'but content myjfelf to poflefs my own
)pinion in private, for fear of encountering men of
adore wit or words than I have to fpare.
\\ e at this-dhfance. who fee nothing of the fpriflfl
)t actions, are forced by mere conjecture to r.ili&u"
wo realbns for vour deiirinq us to reneal the facra-
nental teft ; one Is ^ became you are faid to inl-
ine it will be a ftep towards the like good work in
-ngland. The other more immediate, that it will
•pen a way for rewarding feveral perfons, who have
-ell deferved upon a great occafion, but who are
ow unqualified through that impediment.
I do not frequently quote poeis, especially Eng-
fh : but I remember there is in lome of Mr. Cowley's •
>ve-verfes a ftrain, 1 hat I theme ht extraordinary' at
fteen, and have often fliice imagined it to be fpc- -
en by Ireland.
Forbid it, beaver, my life Jhould be
« iV£;. diLith her I: j ft convenient^.
W
13S A LETTER CONCERNING THE
In fhort, whatever advantage you propofe to
yourfelves by repealing the facramental teft, fpeak
it out plainly, it is the beft argument you can ufe ;
for we value your intereft much more than our own;
if your little finger be fore, and you think a poul-
tice made of our vitals will give it any eafe, fpeak
the word, and it fhall be done : the intereft of our
whole kingdom is at any time ready to ftrike to that of
your pooreft filhing-town ; it is hard you will not
accept our fervices, unlefs we believe at the fame
time, that you are only confulting our profit, and
giving us marks of your love. If there be a fire at
ibme diftance, and I immediately blow up my houfe
before there be occafion, becaufe you are a man of
quality, and apprehended fome danger to a corner
©f your ftable ; yet why ihould you require me to
attend next morning at your levee, with my humble
thanks for the favour you have done me ?
If we might be allowed to judge for ourfelves, we
had abundance of benefit by the facramental teff,
and forefee a number of mifchiefs would be the con-
fluence of repealing it ; and we conceive the ob-
je .lions made asainft it by the DifTenters are of no
manner of force. They tell us of their merits in
the late war in Ireland, and how chear fully they
engaged for the fafety of the nation ; that if they
had thought they had been fighting only other
pe male's .quarrels, perhaps it might have cooled
their zeal; and that for the future they mall fit
down quietly, and let us do our work ourfelves ;
nay, that it is neccfiary they fhould do fo, iince
they cannot take up arms under the penalty of high
treafon.
Now, fuppofing them to have done their duty, as
I believe they did, and not trouble them about the
fly on the wheel*, I thought liberty, property, and
religion,
* Alluding to the fabh of a fly, who having fettled on the fpoke
of a wheel belonging to a ' chariot that was driven rapidly al >ng the
load,
\
SACRAMENTAL TEST. i39
j religion, had been the three fubjecls of the quarrel;
Kami have not all thofe been amply fe cured to them?
■had they at that time a mental reservation for power
land employments ? and muft thefe two articles be
wadded henceforward in our national quarrels ? It is
Igrown a mighty conceit among fome men, to melt
Idown the phrai'e of a church eitablifhed by law, in-
Ito that of the religion of the magiftrate ; of which
[appellation it is eaiier to find the reafon than the
it nle : if by the magiftrate they mean the prince,
If the expreilion includes a fafehood ; for when
■King James was prince], the eitablifhed church was
Ithe lame it is now. If by the fame word they mean
Ithe legiflature, we defire no more. Be that as it
Iwill.,. we of this kingdom believe the church of Ire-
jland to be the national church, and the only one
jeftablilhed by law, and are willing by the fame law
Ito give a toleration to DiiTenters ; but if once we re-
peal our facramental teft, and grant a toleration. or
fuipend the execution of the penal laws, I do not
• fee how we can be faid to have any eitablifhed
church remaining ; or rather, why there will not
be as many eftablifhed churches, as there are feels
'of Diirenters. No, fay they, yours will ftill be
the national church, becaufe your bifhops and
clergy are maintained by the public ; but that, I
fuppofe, will be of no long duration, and it would
be very unjuft it fhould ; becaufe, to fpeak in Tin-
dal's phrafe, it is not reafonable that revenues fhould
be annexed to one opinion more than another,
when all are equally lawful ; and it is the fame au-
thor's maxim, That no freeborn fubject ought to
pay for maintaining fpeculationshe does no believe.
But why fhould any man, upon account of opinions
he cannot help, be deprived the opportunity of fer-
ving his Quxen and country ! their zeal is commend-
road, cxu'.ed i,i his own Importance, aid cried out, What a dujl ice
able;
*s0 A LETTER. CONCERNING THE
able, and when employments go a-begging for wan! jl
of hands, they fhallbe fure to have the refufal, on- j
ly upon condition they will not pretend to them up- 1
on maxims which equally include Atheilts, Turks, I
Jews, Infidels, and heretics : or, which is hull more dan- 1
gerous, even Papifts themfelves : the former you i
allow, the other you deny ; becaufe theie laft own j
a foreign power, and therefore mull be Unit out. |
Bat there is no great weight in this ; for their reli- 1
gion can Tuit with free ftates, with limited or abib- 1
lute monarchies, as well as a better; and the Pope's |
power in France is but a ihadow ; i'o that upon this
foot there need be no great danger to the conftitu-
t;on by admitting Papiits to employments., I will
help you to enough of them who Ihallbeas ready to
allow the Pope here as little power as you pleafe;
and the bare opinion of his being vicar of Chriil is
but a fpeculative point, for which no man it feems-
ought to be deprived the capacity of ferving his
country.
But, if you pleafe, I- will tell you the great ob-
jection-we have againft repealing this fame facra-
mental tcft. It is, that we are verily perfuaded, the
confequence will be an entire alteration of religion*
among us in no great compafs of years. And pray,'
■ obferve how ■ we reafon here in Ireland upon this"
matter.
We obferve the Scots in our northern parts to
be a brave induftrious people, extremely devoted to1
their religion, and full of an undifturbed .affection
towards each other. Numbers of that noble nation, .
invited bv the fertilities of that foil, are plad to exv
change their barren hills of Lochaber by a voyage
of three hours, for our fruitful vales of Doun and-
Antrim, fo- productive of that grain, which at little
trouble and lefs expenfe finds diet and lodging for
themfelves and their cattle, Thefe people, by their
extreme parflmony, wonderful dexterity in deal-
ing, and linn adherence to one another, foon grow
into
SACRAMENTAL TEST. 141
no wealth from the fmalleft beginnings, never are
ootccl out where they once fix, and increafe daily
y new fupplies; befides, when they are the fupe-
ior number in any tract of ground, they are not
ver patient of mixture : but fuch whom they can-
ot affimulate, foon find it their intereft to remove.
have done all in my power on fome land of my
wn to preferve two or three Englifh fellows in
heir neighbourhood, but found it impoffible, tho'
ne of them thought he had fufliciently made his
ourt by turning prefbyterian. Add to all this,
hat they bring along with them from Scotland a
iioll formidable notion of our church, which they
Dok upon at leait three degrees worfe thin Popery:
nd it is natural it fhould be fo, hnce they come
ver full fraught with that fpirit which taught them
l> aboliih Epifcopacy at home.
Then we proceed farther, and obferve, that the
entlemen of employments here make a very trtm-
iderable number of the houfe of Commons', and
iiave no other merit, but that of doing their duty
a their feveral ftations ; therefore, when the teft
> repealed, it will be highly reafonable they ihould
ive place to thofe who have much greater fervices
o plead. The commifTlons of the revenue are foon
ifpofed of, and the collectors and other officers
iroughout the kingdom are generally appointed
y the commifiioners, which give them a mighty
ifluence in every county. As much may be laid
f the great offices in the law ; and when this door
open to let DiiTenters into the commiffions of the
•eace, to make them high iherifFs, mayors of cor-
porations, and officers of the army and militia, I
o not fee how it can be other wife, coniidering their
aduftry and our fupinenefs, but that they may, in
very few years, grow to a majority in the houfe
•f Commons, and confequently make themfelves
he national religion, and have a fair pretence to
emand the revenues of the church for their teach-
ers.
I
iA2 A LETTER CONCERNING THE
ers. I know it will be objected, that if all thi<
mould happen as I dcfcribe, yet the Prefbyteriar.
religion could never be made the national by aft oi
parliament, becaufe our bifnops are fo great ir
number in the houfe of Lords ; and without a ma
jority there, the church could not be abolifhed. Bui
I have two very good expedients for that, whicr
I fhall leave you to guefs, and I dare fwear oui
Speaker here has often thought on, efpecially ha-
ving endeavoured at one of them fo lately. To con
vince you, that this defign is not fo foreign frorr
fome people's thoughts, I muft let you know, tha
an honeil bell-wether * of our houfe (you hav<
him now in England, I wifh you could keep hirr
there) had the impudence, fome years ago, in par-
liament-time, to fhake my Lord Bifhop of Kilaloo-'
by his lawn-fteeve, and tell him, in a threatening
manner, " that he hoped to live to fee the day
" v:hr~ :h:re mould not be one of his order in tffl
'• kingdom."
Thefe iaft lines perhaps you think a ^grefilon :
therefore to return, I have told you the confequen-
ces we fully reckon upon from repealing the facra
mental teft, which although the greater!: numbei
of fuch as are for doing it, are actually in no man-
ner of pain about it, and many of them care nol
three pence whether there be any church, or no ;
yet becaufe they pretend to argue from confcienjl
as well as policy and intereit, I thought it proper to
under ftand and anfwer them accordingly.
Now, Sir, in anfwer to your queftion, whether
if any attempt fhould be made here for repealing
the facramental teft, it would be likely to fucceed ?
the number of proferTed DiiTenters in this parlia-
ment was, as I remember, fomething under a dozen*
and I cannot call to mind above thirty others who
* SnppofeJ *o be Mr. Brrfderiefc.
•f- Dr, L;ndf.ty, afterwards Lord Prim te.
were
SACRAMENTAL TEST. 143
vere expected to fall in with them. This is cer-
ain, that the Prefbyterian party having with great
nduftry muttered up their forces, did endeavour
bne day, upon occaiion of a hint in my Lord Pem-
broke's i fpeech, to introduce a debate about re-
pealing the teft-claufe, when there appeared at leaft
four to one odds againft them ; and the ableft of
jhofe who are reckoned the moil flanch and tho-
[ough-paced Whigs upon all other occafions, fell
iff with an abhorrence at the firft -mention of this.
I mu ft defire you to take notice, that the terms
bf Whig and Tory do not properly exprefs the dif-
ferent interefts in our parliament. [I remember,
v'hen I was laft in England, I told the King, that
he higheft Tories we had with us -would make to-
rabie Whigs there : this was certainly right, and
till in the general continues fo, unlefs you have
nee admitted new characteristics, which did not
ome within our definition.]] Whoever bears a
rue veneration for the glorious memory of King
KTilliam, as our great deliverer from Popery and
avery ; whoever is firmly loyal to our prefent
)ueen, with an utter abhorrence and deteftation of
he pretender ; whoever approves the fucceffion to
he crown in the houfe of Hanover, and is for
referving the doctrine and difcipline of the church
f England, with an indulgence for fcrupulous
onfeiences ; fuch a man we think acts upon right
rinciples, and may be juftly allowed a Whig :
ind I believe there are not fix members in our
oufe of Commons, who may not fairly come un-
er this defcription. So thnt the parties among us
re made up on one. fide of moderate Whigs, and
n the other of Prefbyterians and their abettors, bv
hich laft I mean fuch who can equally go to a
hurch or conventicle, or fuch who are indifferent
all religion in general ; or laitly, fuch who affect
X Then Lord L'eutenant of Ireland.
to
i44 A LETTER CONCERNING THE
to bear a perfonal rancour towards the clergy :
thefe laft are a fet of men not of our own growth,
their principles at leai! have been imported of late
years ; yet this whole party put together will fcarce
I am confident, amount to above fifty men in par-
liament, which can hardly be worked up into a
majority of three hundred.
As to the ho ufe of Lords, the difficulty there is
conceived at leaft as great as in ours. 80 many of D
our temporal peers live in England, that the bifhops
are generally pretty near a par of the houfe, and
we reckon they will be all to a man againft repeal-
ing the ten: ; and yet their Lordihips are generally
thought as good Whigs upon our principles as any
in the kingdom. There are indeed a few lay-lords,
who appear to have no great devotion for Epifco-
pacy ; and perhaps one or two more, with whom
certain powerful motives might be ufed for remo-
ving any difficulty whatfoever : but thefe are, in no
fort, a number to carry any point againft a con-
junction of the reft and the whole bench of bi-
lhops.
Befides, the whole body of our clergy is utterly
againft repealing the teft, though they are entirely
devoted to her Majefty, and hardly one in an hun-
dred, who are not very good Whigs in our accep-
tation of the word. And I muft let you know, that
we of Ireland arc not come up toother folks refine-
ments, for we generally love and efteem our clergy,
and think they deferveit ; nay, we are apt to lay fome
weight on their opinion, and would not willingly
difoblige them, at leaft, unlefs it were upon fome
greater point of intercft than this. And their
judgment in the prefent affair is the more to be re-
garded, becaufe they are the laft perfons who will [
be affected bv it : this makes us think them impar-
tial, and that their concern is only for religion and
the intercft of the kingdom. Becaufe the act which \
repeals the teft, will only qualify a layman for an ,
employment
1
;
SACRAMENTAL TEST. 145
! mployment, but not a Prefbyterian or Anabaptift
Treacher for a church-living. Now, I mult take
tave to inform you, that feveral members of our
loufe, and myfelf among the reft, knowing fome
pie ago what was upon the anvil, went to all the
lergy we knew of any diftindtion, and defired
leir judgement in the matter; wherein we found
moil wonderful agreement, there being but one
vine that we could hear of in the whole kingdom,
• ho appeared of a contrary fentiment, wherein he
iterwards ftood alone in the convocation, very
. tie to his credit, though, as he hoped, very much.
his intereft.
I I will now conilder a little the arguments offered
I mew the advantages, or rather the neceflity of
■'pealing the ten: in Ireland. We are told, the Po-
lih intereft is here io formidable, that all hands
Bould be joined to keep it under ; that the only
limes of diftincftion among us ought to be thofe of
roteftant and Papift ; and that this expedient is
le only means to unite all Proteftants upon one
Immon bottom. All which is nothing but raifre-
efentation and miftake.
If we were under any real fear of the Papifts in
is kingdom, it would be hard to think us fo ftu-
as not to be equally apprehenftve with others,
ce we are likely to be the greateft, and more im-
diate fufferers : but, on the contrary, we look
on them to be altogether as inconiiderable as the
men and children. Their lands are almoft en-
ly taken from them, and they are rendered in-
able of purchafing any more : and for the little
|at remains, provifion is made by the late acf a-
pnft Popery, that it will daily crumble away : to
■event which, fome of the moft confiderable a-
l)ng them are already turned Proteftants, and fo
i all probability will many more. Then, the Po-
ih priefts are all registered, and without permif-
|n (which I hope will not be granted) they can
■Vol.IV. N have
146 A LETTER CONCERNING THE
have no fucceflbrs ; fo that, the Proteftant clergy
will find it perhaps no difficult matter to bring grea
numbers over to the church .; and in the mear
time the common people, without leaders, withou
difcipline, or natural courage, being little bettei
than " hewers of wood, and drawers of water," art
out of all capacity of doing any mifchief, if the]
were ever fo well inclined. Neither are they at al
likely to join in any coniiderable numbers with ai
invader, having found {q ill fuccefs when they wer<
much more numerous and powerful ; when the;
had a prince of their own religion to head rhern *
had been trained for (ome years under a PopiA
deputy, and received fuch mighty aids from th«
French King.
As to that argument ufed for repealing the teft
that it will unite all Protectants againft the commoi
enemy ; I wonder by what figure thofe gentlemei
fpeak, who are pleafed to advance it : Suppofe, ii
order to increafe the friendship between you an<
me, a law mould pais, that I muft have half you. I
eftate : do vou think that would much advance th i
union between us ? or, fuppofe I mare my for (
tune equally between my- own children and a ftran j
ger, whom I take into my protection ; will that be J |
method to unite them ? I.t is an odd way of unitinp
parties, to deprive a majority of part of their ancien I
right, by conferring it on a faction, who had neve] I
any right at all, and therefore cannot be faid t(l
furrer any lofs or injury, if it be refufed them \
Neither is it very clear, how far fome people maj»
ilretch the term of common enemy. How many
are there of thofe that call themfelves Protectants, r
who look upon our worfhip to be idolatrous asf
well as that of the Papifts, and with great charity
put Prelacy and Popery together as terms con-1
vertible ?
* In the reign of King James II. and till after the battle of the
Boyne in 1690.
And
SACRAMENTAL TEST. 147
And therefore there is one fmall doubt I would
e willingly iatisried in, before I agree to the re-
|ealing of the teft : that is, whether thefe fame
'roteftants, when they have, by their dexterity,
iiade themfelves the national religion, and difpofed
ic church revenues among their paitors or them-
Hves, will he fo kind to allow us DifTenters, I do
ot fay a ihare in employments, but a bare tolera-
ion by law ?■ The reafon of my doubt is, becaufe I
aave been fo very idle as to read above fifty pam-
^llets written by as many Prefbyterian divines,
budly difclaiming this idol toleration, fome of
liem calling it (I know not how properly) a rag
J* Popery, and all agreeing it was to eftablim ini-
quity by a law. Now, I would be glad to know,
pen and where their fuccefifors have renounced
Lis doctrine, and before what witneifes. Becaufe
lethinks I fhould be loath to fee my poor titular
Ifhop in partibus feized on by miftake in the dark
br a Jefuit, or be forced myfelf to keep a chap-
lin difguifed like my butler, and ileal to prayers
I a back room, as my grandfather ufed in thofe
ilmes when the church of England was malignant.
I But this js ripping up old quarrels long forgot ;
ijopery is now the common enemy, againft which
fie muft all unite ; I have been tired in hiftorv
jith the perpetual folly of thofe ftates who call
I foreigners to affift them againft a common ene-
:y ; but the mifchief was, thefe allies would never
£ brought to allow, that the common enemy was
.lite fubdued. And they reafon ; for it proved at
ft; that one part of the common enemy was
iofe who called them in, and fo the allies became
: length the mafters.
: It is agreed among naturalifts, that a lion is a
rger, a ftronger, and more dangerous enemy
•an a cat ; yet if a man were to have his choice,
ther a lion at his foot, bound faft with three or
)ur chains, his teeth drawn out, and his claws
N 2 pared
148 A LETTER CONCERNING THE
pared to the quick, or an angry cat in full libsrt]
at his throat ; he would take no long time to de
termine.
I have been fometlmes admiring the wonderfu
frgnificancy of that word perfeciiiion, and what va
rious interpretation it hath acquired even withh
my memory. When I was a boy, I often heart
the Prefbyterians complain, that they were not per
mitted to ferve God in their own way ; they fait
they did not repine at our employments, but though
that all men who live peaceably ought to have li
berty of confcience, and leave to affemble. Tha
impediment being removed at the revolution, the'
loon learned to fwallow the facramcntal teft, anc
began to take very large fteps, wherein all who oi
fered to oppofe ihem, were called men of a per
iecuting fpirit. During the time the bill a
gainft occaiional conformity was on foot, perfecu
tion was every day rung in our ears, and now, a
laft, the facramental teft itfelf has the fame name
Where then is this matter likely to end, when th
obtaining of one requeft is only ufed as a ftep t<
demand another ? A lover is ever complaining o
cruelty, while any thing is denied him ; and whei
the lady ceafes to be cruel, me is from the nex
moment at his mercy : fo perfecution, it feems, i
every thing, that will not leave it in mens power t<
perfecute others.
There is one argument offered a gainft a facra
mental teft by a fort of men who are content to b<
ftiled of the church of England, who perhaps at i
tend its fervice in the morning, and go with theii
wives \o 2l conventicle in the afternoon, confeffind
they hear very good doctrine in both. Thefe met
are much offended, that fo holy an inftitution, a."
that of the Lord's fupper, mould be made rubier- 1
vient to fuch mercenary purpofes as the getting oil
an employment. Now, it feems, the law, con-
cluding all men to be members of that church1
where
SACRAMENTAL TEST. 149
rhere they receive the facrament ; and fuppoiing
ill men to live like Chriftians (efpecially thole who
re to have employments) did imagine they receiv-
pthe facrament in courfe about four times a-year;
rid therefore only defired it might appear by cer-
pcate to the public, that fuch who took an office,
rere members of the church eftablifhed, by doing
heir ordinary duty. However, left we fhould of-
fend them, we have often defired they would deal
pndidly with us : for, if the matter ftuck only
pere, we would propofe it in parliament, that e-
:ry man who takes an employment, fhould, in-
tead of receiving the facrament, be obliged to
|vear, that he is a member of the church of Ire-
.nd by law eftablifhed, with Epifcopacy, and fo
wtb : and as they do now in Scotland, to be trvc
the kirk. But when we drive them thus far, .they
[ways retire to the main body of the argument,
Irge the hardfhip that men mould be deprived the
berty of ferving their Queen and country on ac-
mnt of their confcience ; and in fhort, have re-
>urfe to the common ftile of their half-brethren,
fow, whether this be a fincere way of arguing, L.
'ill appeal to any other judgment but theirs. .
There is another topic of clamour fomewirat pa-
illel to the foregoing ; it feems by the teft- claufe,
Le military officers are abliged to receive the facra-
lent, as well as the civil. And it is a matter of
_ ime patience, to hear the DifTenters declaiming up-
In this occafion : they cry they are difarnred^diey
•e ufed like Papifts : when an enemy appears at
:>me, or from abroad, they mure lit frill, and fee
Leir throats- cut, or be hanged for-high-treafon if
iey offer to defend themfelves, Miferable condi-
>n ! woful dilemma ! it is happy for us all, that
Le pretender was not apprifed ' of this paffive
'refbyterian principle, elfe he would have infal-
jbly landed in our northern parts, and found
:m all fat down in their formalities, as the
N 3, Gaul*;
i5o A LETTER CONCERNING THE
Gauls did the Roman fenators, ready to die wit]
honour in their callings. Sometimes to appeaf
their indignation, we venture to give them hopes
that in fuch a cafe the government will perhap
connive, and hardly be fo fevere to hang them fo
defending it againft the letter of the law; to whicl
they readily anfwer, that they will not lie at ou
mercy, but let us fight our battles ourfelves. Some
times we offer to get an act, by which, upon a]
Popifh infurrec~tions at home, or Popifh invaiion
from abroad, the government fhall be impowere<
to grant commiffions to all Proteftants whatfoever
without that perfecuting circumftance of obligin
them to fay their prayers when they receive the fa
crament : but they abhor all thoughts of occafion
i-d commiffions ; they will not do our drudgery
and we reap the benefit : it is not worth their whil
to fight pro arts et foe is ; and they had rather lof
rheir eftates, liberties, religion, and lives, thai
the pleafure of governing.
But to bring this difcourfe towards a conclufion
If the DiiTenters will be fatisfled with fuch a tolera
tion by law, as hath been granted them in England
I believe the majority of both houfes will fall readil;
in with it ; farther it will be hard to perfuade thi
houfe of Commons, and perhaps much harder th<
next. For, to fay the truth, we make a might]
difference here between fuffering thirties to grov
among us, and wearing them for pofies. We ar<
fully convinced in our confeiences, that we fhaL
always tolerate them ; but not quite fo fully thai
they will always tolerate us, when it comes to tlieii
turn ; and we are the majority, and we are in pof-
feflion.
He who argues in defence of a law in force, not
antiquated or obfolete, but lately enacted, is cer-
tainly on the fafer fide, and may be allowed to
point out the dangers he conceives tp forefee in the
abrogation of it,
for,
SACRAMENTAL TEST. 151
For, if the confequencs of repealing this claufe
mould, at fome time or other enable the Prefbyte-
rians to work thexnfelves up into the national
church ; initead of uniting Proteftants, it would
fow eternal divifions among them. Firft, their own
feels, which now lie dormant, would be ibon at
cuffs again with each other aboutpower and prefer-
ment ; and the diffenting Epifcopals, perhaps dif-
contented to fuch a degree, as upon fome fair un-
happy occaiion, fhould be able to fhake the firmeft
loyalty, which none can deny theirs to be.
Neither is it very difficult to conjecture, from
fome late proceedings, at what a rate this faction is
like to drive, wherever it gets the whip and the
feat. They have already fet up courts of fpiritual
judicature in open contempt of the law : they fend
miflionaries every where, without being invited,
in order to convert the church of England folks
to Chriftianity. They are as vigilant as I know
who, to attend perfons on their deathbeds, and
for purpofes much alike. And what practices
fuch principles as thefe (with many other that
might be invidious to mention) may fpawn, when
they are laid out to the fun, you may determine at
leifure.
Laftly, Whether we are fo entirely fure of their
loyalty upon the prefent foot of government as you
may imagine, their detractors make a queftion,
which, however does, I think, by no means af-
fect the body of Diffenters : but the inftance pro-
duced is of fome among their leading teachers in
the north, who, having refufed the abjuration-
poadi, yet continue their preaching, and have a-
bundance of followers. The particulars are out of
Hmy head; but the fact is notorious enough, and I
believe hath been publifhed j I think it a pity, it
1 hath not been remedied.
Thus
iS2 A LETTER CONCERNING THE, &c.
Thus I have fairly given you, Sir, my own
opinion, as well as that of a great majority in
both houfes here, relating to this weighty af-
fair; upon, which 1 am confident you may fecure—
y reckon. I will leave you to make what ufe of
t you pleafe.
I am with great refpect,
Dublin, Dec. 4.
1708. SIR,
Yoursj See-.
4
I
Some
C 153 3
1
Some Arguments againft enlarging the
power of Bifliops in letting of Leafes *.
Mlhl crcditc, major hereditas venit unicuiqiie vef-
trtan in iifdem bonis a jure et a legibus, qnam
ab iis a quibus ilia ipfa bona relief a funt.
Cicero pro A. C<ecina,
Written in the year 1723,.
TN handling this fubjecl I mall proceed whot-
* ly upon the fuppoiition, that of our party
who profefs themielves members of the church
eftablimed, and under the apoftolicai govern-
ment of bifhops, to deiire the continuance and
tranfmiffion of it to posterity, at leaft in as
good a condition as it is at prefent ; becaufe as this
difcourfe is not calculated for DhTenters of any
kind, fo neither will it luit the talk or fentiment of
thofe perfons, who writh the denomination of
churchmen are oppreflors of the inferior clergy,
and perpetually quarrelling at the great incomes of
the bifhops ; which is a traditional cant delivered
* This pamphlet is intermixed with thofe rmfterly nrokes of
ironv, which are fo often intermixed in Swift's works. The general
fubjectofit leads me to recollect a circumnance much to the Dean's
honour : he could Keverbe induced to take fines for any of the chap-
ter lands j he always choffc to raile the rents, as the method lead
opprefiive to the prefent tenant, and mod advantageous to all future
tenants and landlords. He conftantly refufed to- give chanty out of the
chapter-funds, which he aihdged were fcarce fufficient to maimaia
the nexe/ary repairs of the cathedral. Orrery,
dowa
254 ARGUMENTS AGAINST
down from former times, and continued with great
reafon, although it be now near two hundred years
iince almoft three parts in four of the church-
revenues have been taken from the clergy, befides
the fpoils that have been gradually made ever fince
of glebes and other lands by the confulion of timesr
the fraud of incroaching neighbours, or the power
of op^refTors too great to be encountered.
About the time of the reformation many Popiih
biihops of this kingdom, knowing they muft have
been foon ejected if they would not change their re-
ligion, made long leafes and fee-farms of great part
of their lands, referving very inconfiderable rents,
fometimes only a chiefry, by a power they afiumed
directly contrary to many ancient canons, yet con-
iiitent enough with the common law. This trade
held on for many years after the biihops became
Proteftants; and fome of their names are ft ill re*-
membered with infamy on account of enriching
their families by fuch facrilegious alienations. By
thefe means Epifcopal revenues were fo low redu-
ced, that three or four fees were often united to^
make a tolerable competency. For fome remedy
to this evil, King James I. by a bounty that be-
came a good Chriftian prince, befrowed feveral
forfeited lands on the northern bishopries : but in
all other Darts of the kingdom the church continu-
ed ftilL in the fame diftrefs and poverty, fome of
the fees hardly pofleffing enough to maintain a
country-vicar. About the middle of King Charles
I.'s reign the legiilature here thought fit to put a
flop at leaft to any farther alienations ; and fo a law
was enacted, prohibiting all biihops and other ec-*
cleflaitical corporations from fetting their lands for
above the term of twenty-one years ; the rent re-
ferred to be one half of the real value of fuch lands
at the time they were fet, without which condition.*
the leafe to be void..
Soon-
THE POWER OF BISHOPS. 155
Soon after the reftoration of King Charles II.
the parliament taking into consideration the mife-
rable eftate of the church, certain lands by way of
augmentation were granted to eight bifhcps in the
act of ictdement, and confirmed in the a£t of ex-
plain ion ; of which bounty, as I remembtr, three
flees were in a great meafure defeated ; but by what
accidents, it is not here of any importance to re-
bate.
This at prefent is the condition of the church in
Ireland with regard to Epiicopal revenues : which I
i have thus briefly (and perhaps imperfectly) deduced
1 for fome information to thofe whofe thoughts do
pot lead them to fuch considerations.
By virtue of the ftatute already mentioned, under
King Charles I. limiting ecclefiaftical bodies to the
term of twenty-one years, under the referved rent
of half real value, the bilhops have had fome fhare
m the gradual rife of lands, without which they
could not have been fupported with any common
decency that might become their ftat>on. It is a-
bove eighty years iince the palling of that act : the
fee of Meath, one of the beft in the kingdom, was
[hen worth about 4000 1. per annum; the poorer
anes in the fame proportion. If this were their
prefent condition, I cannot conceive how they would
aave been able to pay for their patents, or buy their
:obes : but this will certainly be the condition of
:heir fucceffors, if fuch a bill fhould pafs, as they
i'ay is now intended, which I will fuppofe ; and be-
lieve many perfons who may give a vote for it, are
Iiot aware of.
However, this is the act which is now attempted
Ho be repealed, or at leaft eluded ; fome are for giv-
ing bifhops leave to let fee-farms, others would al-
ow them to let leafes for lives ; and the moft mo-
derate would repeal that claufe, by which the bi-
hops are bound to let their lands at half- value.
The
t$6 ARGUMENTS AGAINST
The reafons for the rife of value in lands are of
two kinds. Of the frrit kind, are long peace and
fettleraent after the devaluations of war ; plantations,
improvements of bad foil, recovery of bogs and
marfhes, advancement of trade and manufactures,
increafe of inhabitants, encouragement of agricul-
ture, and the like.
But there is another reafon for the rife of land,
more gradual, conftant, and certain; which will
have its effects in countries that are very far from
flouriming in any of the advantages I have ju ft men-
tioned : I mean the perpetual decreafe in the value
of gold and filver. I mall difcourfe upon thefe two
different kinds with a view towards the bill now at-
tempted.
As to the firft ? I cannot fee how this kingdom
is at any height of improvement, while four parts
in five of the plantations for thirty years paft have
been real difemprovements ; nine in ten of the quick-
fet-hedges being ruined for want of care or ikill.
And as to foreft-trees, they being often taken out
of woods, and planted in fingle rows on the tops of
ditches, it is impoffible they fhould grow to be of
ufe, beauty, or fhelter. Neither can it be faid,
that the foil of Ireland is improved to its full height,
while fo much lies all winter tinder water, and the
bogs made almoft defperateby the ill cutting of the
turf. There hath indeed been fome little improve-
ment in the manufactures of linen and woollen, al-
though very fhort of perfection ; but our trade was
never in fo low a condition : and as to agriculture,
of which all wife nations have been fo tender, the
defolation made in the country by ingrofling gra-
ziers, and the great yearly importation of corn
from England, are lamentable inftances under what
difcouragement it lie?.
But, notwithstanding all thefe mortifications, I
flippofe there is no wellwifher to his country with-
out a little hope, that in time the kingdom may be
on
THE POWER OF BISHOPS. 157
on a better foot in fome of the articles above men"
tjpned. But it would be hard, if eccleiiaftical bo-
dies ihould be the only perfons excluded from any
ihare in public advantages, which yet can never hap-
pen, without a greater ihare of profit to their te-
nants : if God fends rain equally upon the jujt and
Unjuji, why fhould thofe who wait at his altars, and
are instructors of the people, he cut off from par-
taking in the general benefits of law or of nature ?
But, as this way of reafoning may feem to bear
ja more favourable eye to the clergy, than perhaps
hut with the prefent difpofkion or fafhion of
igc ; I ihall therefore dwell more largely upon
:i:
e ?
,the fecond reafon for the rife of land, which is the
berpU ual decrease of the value of gold and filver .
This may be oblerved from the courfe of the Ro-
man hiltory above two thoufand years before thofe
hexhauitible filver mines of Potofi were known.
The value of an obulus, and of every other coin,
between the time of Ptomulus and that of Augufhis,
gradually iunk above five parts in fix, as appears bv
everal paffages out of the beft authors. And yet the
prodigious wealth of that ftate did not arife from
he increafe of bullion in the world by the difcove-
; y of new mines, but from a much more acciden-
aul cafe, which was the fpreading of their conqueit,
I ind thereby importing into Rome and Italy the
fich.es of the eaft and welt.
When the feat of empire was removed to Con-
itantinople, the tide of money flowed that way
virhout ever returning ; and was fcattered in Afia.
1 l3ut when that mighty empire was overthrown by
1 he northern people, fuch a ftop was put to all
Irade and commerce, that vaft fums of money were
: mried to efcape the plundering of the conquerors;
' .nd what remained was carried off bv thofe rava-
■ers.
It were no difficult matter to compute the value
I pf money in England during the Saxon reigns; but
Vol. IV. O the
■I58 ARGUMENTS AGAINST
the Monkifn and other writers fince the ccnque
have put that matter in a clearer light, by the fev<
rai accounts they have given us of the value c
corn and cattle in years of" dearth and plenty. Evet
one knows that King John's whole portion, befoi
he came to the crown, was but five thoman
pounds, without a foot of land.
I have irkewlfe ken the fteward's accounts of a
ancient noble family in England written in Lat
between three and four hundred years ago, with tl
feveral prices of wine and victuals, to confirm ir
i ' ervations.
1 ,! 1 CC^J^/«"-'«
I have'bi en at the trouble of computing (as othe
h'avs don the different values of money for abo1
four hundred years pail: Henry Duke of Lane
ftei who ived about that period, founded an he
pital in Leicefter for a certain number of old me
chai . is land ; with a groat a-week to each f<
theiirmaintenance, which is to this day duly pa
them. In tliofe times, a penny wTas equal to t<
pence halfpenny, and fomewhat more than half
farthing of ours; which makes about eight nintl
difference.
This is plain alio from the old cuftomupon mai|
efcatesinEngland to let for leafes of lives, (rene\
able at pleaiure), where thereferved rent is ufuaii
about iwelpence a pound, which then was near tl
half real value : and although the fines be not fi:
ed. yet the landlord gets altogether nptabove thr
fhUlings in the pound of the worth of his land : ar
the tenants are fo wedded to this cuHom, that
the owner fuffer three lives to expire, none of the
will take a leafe on other conditions ; or if he brinj
in a foreigner who will agree to pay a reafbnab
rent, the other tenants by all manner of injur*
will make that foreigner fo uneafy, that he mufti
forced to quit the farm; as the late Earl of Bal
felt by the experience of above ten thoufands poun<
THE PGVvER OF BISHOPS. i co
The gradual decreafe for about two hundred-
e;irs after was not conllderable, and therefore I do
lot relv on the account given bv fome hiftorians,
hat Harry VII. left behind him eighteen hundred
houfand pounds ; for, although the Weft Indies
rere difcovered before his death, and although he
tad the beft talents and inftruments for exacting
•f money ever poflefTed by any prince fir.ee the tim
f Vefpafian (whom he refembled in many paticu-
uss), yet I conceive, that in his days the whole coin
r England could hardly amount to inch a fum,-
or in the reign o^ Philip and Mary, Sir ■ —
'ockain of Derbyshire, the be ft houfekeeper or
is quality in the county, allowed his lady fifty
ounds a-yearfor maintaining the family, one pound
-year wages to each ferrant, and two pounds to the
eward ; as I was told by a pevfon of quality who
ad icen the original account of his oeconomy,
[pw, this fum of fifty pounds, added to the adtan-
iges of a large domain, might be equal to about
ve hundi-ed pounds a-year at prefent, or fome-
hat more than four fifths.
The great pl< nty of ii-iver in England began in''
>neen Elifabeth'i reign, when Drake and others
ok vaft quantities of coin and bullion from the
{laniards either upon their own American coafts,
r in their return to Spain However, fo much"
ath been impoi ted annually from that time to this,
lat the value of money in England, and moft nans
f Europe, is funk above one half within the ipace
f an hundred years, notwithftandirig the great
iport of fiiver for about eighty years pad to the
aft Indies, from whence it never returns. But gold
ot being liable to the fame accident, and bv new
ifcoveries growing .every day more plentiful, ieems
danger of becoming a drug.
This hath been the progrefs of tjie value of mo-
y in former ages, and muft of neceility continue '
for the future, without feme new invalion of
O 2. . Goths -•
1 60 AR GUMENTS AGAINST
Goths and Vandals to deftroy law, property, ^
religion, alter the very face of nature, and turn
and
the
world upfkle down.
I muft repeat, that what I am to fay upon the
Uibject is intended only for the conviction of thofe
among our own party, who are true lovers of the
church, and would be glad it mould continue in a
tolerable degree of profperity to the end of the
world.
The church is fuppofed to laft for ever both in
its difcipiine and doctrine ; which is a privilege
common to every petty corporation, who muft like-
wife obferve the laws cf their foundation. If a
gentleman's eftate, which now yields him a thou-
fand pounds a-year, had been fet for ever at the
iiighert value, even in the flourilhing days of King
Charles II. would it now amount to above four or
five hundred at moft ? What if this had happened
two or three hundred years ago ; would the referv-
ed rent at this dav be any more than a imall chief-
ry ? Suppofe the revenues of a bifhop to have been
under the fame circumitances ; could he now be
able to perform works of hofpitality and charity ?
Thus, if the revenues of a bifhop be limited to a
thoufand pounds a-year ; how will his fucceilbrbe
in a condition to fupport his ftation with decency,
when the fame denomination of money mall not
anfwer an half, a quarter, or an eighth part of that
fum ? Which muft unavoidably be the confequence
of any bill to elude the limiting act, whereby the
church was preferved from utter ruin.
The fame reafon holds goods in ail corporations
whatfoever, who cannot follow a more pernicious
practice than that of granting perpetuities, for
which many of them fmart to this day ; although
the leaders among them are often fo ftupid as not
to perceive ir, or fometimes fo knavifh as to find
t.heir private account in cheating the community.
Several
THE POWER OF BISHOPS. if
Several colleges in Oxford were av'are of this
growing evil about an hundred years ago ; and in-
Ulead of limiting their rents to a certain furn of mo-
ney, prevailed with their tenants to p ly the price
of lo many barrels of corn to be valued as the mar-
ket went at two feafons (as I remember) in the year.
|For a barrel of corn is of a real mtrmfic value,
kvhich gold and filver are not: and by this inven-
tion thefe colleges have preferved a tolerable fub-
pftence for their fellows- and ftudents to this day.
The prefent biihops will indeed be no fbfrerers
by fuch a bill ; becaule, their ages confidered, they
cannot expect to fee any great decreafe in the value
bf money ; or nt.worit they can make it up in
the lines, which will probably be greater than
hfual upon the change of leaies into fee-farms or
ives ;- or without the power of obliging their te-
nants to a real half- value. - And, as I cannot well
pl;i me them for taking; fuch advantages, (coniicler-
jng the nature of humankind), when the que ft ion
Is "only, whether the money jliall be put into their
bwn or another man's- pocket.? fo they will never be
Jxcufable before God or man, if they do not to
[jlieir death oppofe, declare, and protelt againft any
loich bill, as inuft in its consequences complete the
,;,uin of the church, and of their own order in this
bngdom.
If the fortune of a private perfoh be diminiihed
»v the weaknefs or inadvertency of his anceitors,
[p letting leaies for ever at low rents, the world lies
[ppen to h:s induftry for purchaiing of more ; but the
Jhurch is barred by a dead hand ; or if it were other-
Bvife, yet die enftom of making bequefts to it hath
teen out ot practice for almoft two hundred years,-
Jnd a great deal directly contrary hath been its for-
jame.
1 have been allured bv' a nerfon of feme confe- ' -
men e, to whom I am likewiie obliged for the ac-
cunt ct foine other hicts already related, that the
O -\ late
i6i ARGUMENTS AGAINST
late * Bifliop of Salifbury (the greateft Whig of
that bench in his days) confefled to him, that the
liberty which Bifhops in England have of letting
leafes for lives, would, in his opinion, be one day
the ruin of Epifcopacy there ; and thought the
church in this kingdom happy by the limitation-
And have we not alreadv found the effect of this
4
different proceeding in both kingdoms I Have not
two Englifh prelates quitted their peerage and feats
in parliament, in a nation of freedom, for the fake
of a more ample revenue, even in this unhappy
kingdom, rather than lie under the mortification
of living below their dignity at home ? for which
however they cannot be juftly cenlured. I know
indeed fome perfons, who dffer as an argument for
repealing the limiting-bill, that it may in future
ages prevent the practice of providing this kingdom
with biihops from England, when the only tempta-
tion will be removed. And they alledge, that, as
things have gone for fome years paft, gentlemen
will grow difcouraged from lending their fons to
the univerfity, and from fuffering them to enter
into holy orders, when they are likely to languiih
under a curacy or fmall vicarage to the end of their
lives : but this is all a vain imagination ; for the
decreafe in the value of money will equally affect
both kingdoms : and befides, when bifhoprics here
grow too fmall, to mvite over men of credit and
confecmence, they will be left more fully to the dif-
poial of a chief governor, who can never fail of
tome worthlefs illiterate chaplain, fond of a title
find precedence. Thus will that whole bench in
an age or two be compofed of mean, ignorant,
fawning gownmen, humble fuppliants and depen-
dents upon the cour; for a morfel of bread, and
ready to {ewe every turn that fliall be demanded
• Dr. Eurnet.
from
THE POWER OF BISHOPS. 163
rom them in hopes of getting Tome commend^m tack-
d to their fees; which muit then be the trade, as
t is now too much in England, to the great difcou-
agement of the inferior clergy. Neither is that
>ractice without example among us.
It is now about eighty-five years fince the paffing
>f that limiting-act, and there is but one inftance
n the memory of man of a bifhop's leafe broken
lpon the plea of not being {statutable ; which, in
rvery body's opinion, could have been loft by no o-
;her perfon than he who was then tenant, and hap-
pened, to be very ungracious in his county. In the
brefent * Biihop of Meath's cafe that plea did not
ivail, although the leafe were notoriously unftatut-
jibk ; the rent referved being, as I have been told,
toot a feventh part of the real value; yet the jury
(upon their oaths very gravely found it to be accord-
ing to the itatute-; and one of them was heard to
lay, that he would " eat his ihoes" before he would.
give a verdict for the biihop. A very few more
[have made the fame attempt with as little fuccefs.
(Every biihop and other ecclefiaftical body reckon-
Iforty pounds in an hundred to be a reafonable half-
lvalue ; or if it be only a third part, it feldom or
Inever breeds any difference between landlord and
(tenant. But when the rent is from five to nine or
Iten parts lefs than the worth, the biihop, if he con-
sults the good of his fee, will be apt to expoftulate;
Sand the tenant, if he be an honeft man, will have
afome regard to the rcafonablenefs and jufdce of the
(demand, fo as to yield to a moderate advancement,
i rather than engage in a fuit, where lav/ and equity
are directly againft him. By thefe means the bi-
ihops have been fo true to their trufts, as to pro-
! cure fome fmall fliare in the advancement of rents ;
! although it be notorious, that they do not receive
* Dr. Evans a Wekhman,
the
I&4
ARGUMENfS AGAINST
the third penny (fines included) of the real- viilu
of their lands throughout the kingdom,
I was never able to imagine what inconvenienc
could accrue to the public by one or two thoufam'
pounds a-year in the hands of a Proteftant bilhop!
any more than of a lay perfon #. The former, ge
irerally fpeaking, liveth as pioufly and hofpitably a
the other ; pays his debts as honeftly, and fpends a I
much of his revenue among, his tenants : befides
if they be his immediate tenants, you may diftin
guifh them at firft fight by their habits and horfes
or if you go to their houfes, by their comfortabL
way of living. But the misfortune is, • that fuel
immediate tenants, generally fpeaking, have other
under them, and fo a third and fourth under them
and fo a third and fourth in. fubordination, till i
comes to the welder, (as they call him), who fits a
a rack-rent, and lives as miferably as anylrifh far
mer upon a new leafe from a lay landlord. Bui
fuppofe a biihop happens to be-avaricious, (as be-
ing compoied of the fame.fhiff with other men),
the confequence to the public is no worfe than il
he were a fquire ; for he leaves his fortune to his
fon or near relation, who, if he be rich enough,
will never think. of entering into the church.
And as there can be no d had vantage to the pul>
lie in a Proteftant country, that a man mould hold
lands as a bifho-p, any more than if he were a tem-
poral perfon ; fo it is of great advantage to the com-
munity, where a bifhop leaves as he ought to do.
He is bound in confeience to refide in his diocefe,
and by a folenm promife to keep hofpitality ; his
cftate is fpent in the kingdom, not remitted to Eng-
land ; he keeps the clergy to their duty, and is an
example of virtue both to them . and the people.
* This part of the paragraph is to re appHcJ to the period when
the whole was written, which' v\as it. 1723, vrhen feve.-al of" Queen
Anne's bifliops were living.
Suppofe
THE POWER OF BISHOPS. 16*5
iippofe him an ill man ; yet his very character will
ith-hold him from any great or open exorbitan-
ies. But in fact it mull be allowed that fome bi-
lOps of this kingdom within twenty years pari,
ave done very fignal and lading acls of public
harity ; great inftances whereof are the late * and
refent f Primate, and the Lord t Archbiihop of
Dublin that now is, who hath left memorials of his
bounty in many parts of his province. I might add
the Bimop of Raphoe ||, and feveral others : not
Forgetting the late Dean of Down, Dr. Pratt, who
bellowed one thoufand pounds upon the university;
which foundation, (that I may obferve by the way),
f the bill propofed ihould pafs. would be in-the
ame circumftances with the Bifhops, nor ever able
igain to advance the ftipends of the fellows andftu-
fents, as lately they found it neceflary to do ; the
determinate fnm appointed by the ftatutes for com-
mons being not half fufficient, by the fall of mo-
ney, to afford neceflary fuitenance. But the pari-
ng of inch a bill muft put an end to all ecclefiafti-
cal beneficence for the time to come ; and whether
this will be fupplied by thofe who are to reap the
benefit, better than it hath been 'done by the gran-
tees of impropriate tithes, who received them up-
on the old church-conditions of keeping hofpitali-
ty, it will be eafy to conjecture.,
To alledge, that palling fuch a bill would be a
good encouragement to improve bilhops lands, is
a great error. Is it not the general method of land-
lords to wait the expiration of a leafe, and then cant
their lands to the hir-heft bidder ? And what fhould
hinder the fame courfe to be taken in church-leaf es,
when the limitation is removed of paying half the
real value to the Bilhop? in riding through the
country how few improvements do we fee upon the
* Dr. Marih. t Dr. King.
f Dr. Lind'a;-. [j Dr. Fofttr.
eilates
1-06- ARGUMENTS AGAIXST
eftates of laymen, farther than about their own do
mains ? To fay the truth, it is a great misfortune as
well to the public as to the bifhops themfelves, thaij
their lands are generally let to lords and greal
f quires, who in reafon were never deiigned to be
tenants ; and therefore may naturally murmur at
the payment of rent, as a fiibferviency they were
not born to. If the tenants to the church were
honeft farmers, they would pay their fines and rents
with chea-fulnefs, improve their Lands, and thank
God thev were to give but a moderate half-value
for what they held, I have heard a man of a thou-
fand pounds a-year talk with great conteir.pt of bi-
fhoos leafes, as beinc; on aworfe foot than the reft
of his eftate ; and he had certainly reafon : my an-
fwer was,, that fuch leafes were originally intended
only for the benefit of indufrrious hufbandmen,
who would think it a great biefling ta be fo provid-
ed for, indead of having his farm fcrewed up to
the height, not eating one comfortable meal in a
year, nor able to find fhoes for his children.
I know not any advantage that can accrue by
fuch a bill, except the preventing of perjury in ju-
rymen, and falfe dealing in tenants ; which is a re-
medy like that of giving my money to a highway-
man, before he attempts to take it by force; and fa
I fliall be fure to prevent the fin. of robbery.
I had wrote thus £ar, and. thought to have made
an end ; when a bookfeller fent me a fmall pam-
phlet, intitled, " The cafe of the laity, with fome
queries;" full of the ftrongeft malice againft the
clergy > that I have anv where met with fince the.
reign of Tolancl, and others of that tribe. Theie.
kinds of advocates do infinite miichief to OUR
good cause by giving grounds to the unjuft re-
proaches of Tories and Jacobites, who charge
us with being enemies to the church. If I bear
an hearty unfeigned loyalty to hLsMajeity King
GEORGE and the hemic of Hanover, not ihaken
ia
THE -POWER OF BISHOPS. 167
In the le&ft by the hardihips we he under, which
never can be imputable to fo gracious a prince ; if
i'l fincerely abjure the pretender, and all Po-
pish successors ; if I bear a due veneration to
the glorious memory of the late King WILLIAM,
irho preserved tliefe kingdoms from Popery and
slavery, with the expenfe of his blood, and ha-
zard of his life ; and laftly, if I am for a proper
indulgence to all DifTenters, I think nothing more
can be reafonably demanded of me as a Whig,
and that my political catechifm is full and complete.
But whoever, under the fhelter of that party- deno-
mination, and of many great profeflions of loyal-
ty, would deftroy, or undermine, or injure, the
church eftablilhed ; I utterly difown him, and
think he ought to chufe another name of difrinc-
■tion for himfelf and his adherents. I came into
the caufe upon other principles, which by the grace
of God I mean to preferve as long as I can live. Shall
we juftify the accufarions of our adversaries? Hoc
Ithatus velit. The Tories and Jacobites will
behold us, with a malicious pleafure, determined
•upon the ruin of our friends. For is not the pre-
fent let of bifhops almoft entirely of that number,
as well as a great majority 'of the principal clergy ?
And a ihort time will reduce the "whole by vacan-
cies upon death.
An impartial reader, if he plcafes to examine
\ what I have already laid, will eaiily anfwer the bold
queries in the pamphlet I mentioned ; he will be
convinced, that the reafon ft ill ftrongly cxifts, for
which that limiting law was enacted. A reafona-
ble man will wonder, where can be the inlurlcrable
grievance, that an eccleGaitical landlord mould ex-
pect a moderate or a third part value in rent for
his lands, when his title is at leail as ancient and as
legal as that of a layman; who is yet but fcldom
guilty of giving fuch beneficial bargains. Has the
nation been thrown into cenfufion ? And have ma-
ny
1 68 ARGUMENTS AGAINST
ny poor families been ruined by rack-rents paid fc
the lands of the church ? does the nation cry or.
to have a law that muit in time fend their biihof
a-begging ? But, God be thanked, the clamours c
enemies to the church is not yet the cry, and
hope will never prove the voice of the nation. Th
clergy, I conceive, will hardly allow that the peopl
maintain them, any more than in the fenfe that a
landlords whatfoever are maintained by the people
Such alTertions as thefe, and the infinuations the
carry along with them, proceed from principle
which cannot be avowed by thole who are for pre
ferving the happy constitution in church and fcau
Whoever were the propofers of iuch queries, it migr
have provoked a bold writer to retaliate, perhap
with more juftice than prudence, by Shewing
whole door the grievance lies, and that the biinov
at lead are not to aniwer for the poverty of tt
nants.
To gratify this great reformer, who enlarges tb
Epifcopal rent-roll almoft one half, let me fuppol
that all die church-lands in the kingdom wer
thrown up to the laity : would the tenants in fuc.
a cafe fit eafier in their rents than they do now
Or, would the money be equally fpent in th
kingdom ? No ; the farmer would be fcrewed u
to the utmoft penny by the agents and Stewards o
abfentees, and the revenues employed in making
figure at London ; to which city a full third par
of the whole income of Ireland is annually return
ed, to anfwer that Single article of maintenance fo:
Irifh landlords.
Another of his quarrels is againft pluralities anc
non-refidence. As to the former, it is a word o:
ill name, but not well under flood. The clerg)
having been dripped of the greatest part of thai
revenues, the glebes being generally loft, the tithe
in the hands of laymen, the churches demolifhec
and the country depopulated f in order to preferyl
a face
THE POWER OF BISHOPS. i<5o
i face of chriftianity, it was necefiary to unite
■mall vicarages fufHcient to make a tolerable main-
enance for a miniiter. The profit of ten or a doz-
:n of thefe unions feldom amounts to above eighty
>r an hundred pounds a-year. If there be a very
ew dignitaries, whofe preferments are perhaps more
table to this accufation, it is to be iuppofed, they
iay be favourites of the time ; or peribns of luperior
lerit, for whom there hath ever been fome indul-
ence in all governments.
As to non-reiidence, I believe there is no Chrif-
\ ian country upon earth, where the clergy have lefs
3 anfwer for upon that article. I ana confident
mere are not ten clergymen in the kingdom, who,
I roperly lpeaking, can be termed mn-rtfidents ; for
■ irely we are not to reckon in that number thofe
•ho, for want of glebes are forced to retire to the
:. eareft neighbouring village for a cabin to put their
: eads in ; the leading man of the parifli, when he
lakes the greateft clamour, being leaft difpofed to
itcomodate the m'miiler with an acre of ground,
md indeed, coniiderin^ the difficulties the clergy
e under upon this head, it hath been frequent
I latter of wonder to me, how they are able to per-
prm that part of their duty fo well as they do.
There is a * noble author, who hath lately ad-
elied to the houfe of Commons an excellent dif-
urfe for the encouragement of agriculture ; full of
oft ufeful hints, which, I hope, that honourable
embly will confider as they deferve. I am not a
anger to his Lordfhip ; and excepting in what
lates to the church, there are few perfons with
ofe opinions I am better pleafed to agree ; and
therefore grieved when I find him charging the
onveniencies in the payment of tithes upon the
rgy and their proctors. His Lordfhip is above
nlidering a very known and vulgar truth, that
m.
* The late Lord RfofefWrth.
Vol. IV. P the
i jo ARGUMENTS AGAINST
the meanett farmer hath all manner of ad-
vantages againft the moil powerful clergymen,
by whom it is impoflible he can be wronged,
although the minifter were ever fo evil difpofed ;
the whole fyftem of teizing, perplexing, and de-
fraucling the proctor, or his matter, being as well
known to every ploughman, as the reaping or low-
ing of his corn, and much more artfully practifed.
Beiides, the leading man in the parilh mutt have
his tithes at his own rate, which is hardly ever a«
bove one quarter of the value. And I have
heard it computed by many fkilful obfervers, whofe
interett was not concerned, that the clergy did not
receive throughout the kingdom one half of what
the laws have made their due.
•\s to his Lordihip's difcontent againtt the bi-
{hops court, I ihall not interpoie farther than ir
venturing my private opinion, that the clergy woulc
\cry glad to recover their juft dues by a more
.hort, deciiive, and compullive method, than fuel
a cramped and limited jurisdiction will allow.
His LordOiip is not the only perfon difpofed tc
g] ire the clergy the honour of being the fole en-
eouragers of all new improvements. If hops, hemp,
flax, and twenty things more are to be planted, tht
clergy alone. mutt reward the induftrious farmer by
abatement. of the tithe. What if tbefOwner of nim
parts in ten would pleale to abate proportionably in
his rent, for every acre thus improved? Would not
a man juft dropt from .the clouds, upon a full
hearing, judge the demand to be at leatt as rea-
sonable ?
I believe no. man will difpute his Lordmip's title
•to his eitate ; nor will I the /':/; divinum of tithes,
which he mentions with fome emotion. I fuppofe
the affirmative would, be of little advantage to the
.clergy, for the fame reafon that a maetirn in law
hath more weight in the world than an article or;
faith. And vet I think there .mav be fuch a thing
-as
THE POWER OF BISHOPS. 171
as facrilege ; becaufe it is frequently mentioned by
Greek and Roman authors, as well as defcribed in
holy writ. This I am lure of, that his LordfKip
would at anv time excufe a Parliament for not con-
cerning itfelf in his properties without his own con-
fen t.
The obfervations I have made upon his I.ord-
(liip's difcourfe, have not, I confefs, been altoge-
ther proper to my fubject : however, .imce he
Iiath been pleafed therein to offer fome propofals
;o the houfe of Commons with relation to the cla-
ry, I hope he will excufe me for differing from
jiim : which proceeds, from his own principle, the
jleHre of defending liberty and property, that he
lath fo ftrenuouirv and conftanihy maintained.
But the other writer openly declares for a law
Impowering the bifhops to fet fee-farms; and fay,
r Whoever intimates,v that they will deny their
y confent to fuch a reasonable law, which the
y whole nation cries for, are enemies to them and
' the church." Whether this be his real opinion,
;)r only a ftrain of mirth and irony, the matter is not ■
piuch. However, my- fe mi meats are fo directly
Contrary. to his* that, J thinl:v whoever impartially
reads and confiders what I have<written upon tliis
usgument, hath either no regard for the church e-
iablimed under the hierarchv of bifhops. or will
lever confent to any law that ihali repeal or elude
he limiting claufe relating to the real half-value,
jontained in the act of parliament decimo Caro.'i,
t for the preservation . of the inheritance, rights*
f and profits of lands belonging to the church
rand penons eccleiiaftical ;V which was ground*
d upon reaibns, that do ftiil and nfuit for eve?
pbfift.
October 21.
x I " 3
P 2 The
C 1-2 ]
The Presbyterians Plea of Merit, in order
to takeoff the TEST, impartially exa-
mined.
"Written in the year 1731
*
T E have been told in the common news*
papers, that all attempts are to be mad<
this feiiloii by the Prefbyterians and their abettor,
for taking off the teft ; as a kind of preparatory
ftep to make it go downfmoother in England. Fo:
if once their light would Jo /bine, the Papifts de
lighted with the blaze would all come in and danc<
about it. This I take to be a prudent method
like that of a difcreet phyfician, who firft gives <
new medicine to a dog, before he prefcribes it to s
human creature f .
Th<
* See a letter en this futjec"r, p. 132. of this volume; which wa
reprinted in Ireland on the fame occafion that produced this anc
the fhree following tracts.
f The author begins this tract in the true veiitof wit and fpirir.
bv faying, " We have been told in the. common news-papeMj
" that all attempts are to be made this fefiion by the Piefbyterian;
" and their abettors for taking off the reft j as a kind oi' preparatory
" ftep to make it go down fmoother in England. For if once the'v\
« light would fi /bine, the Papifts delighted with the blaze would
44 ail come in and dance about it. This I take to be a prudent me- J
" thoi ; like that of a difcreet phyfician, who firft gives a new irn-1
" dicine to a dog, before he prefcribes it to a human creature.1' -8
3 have quoted this fhort paflage for ihe ftyle, as well as the matter ;1
and I dare fay, even from hence you will be confirmed in one gene-
ral obfervation, that Swift maintains and conducts his metaphors and'
Silufions, with a juflnefs particularly delicate and exaft, and without!
the
THE PRESBYTERIANS, Sec. 173
The Prefbyterians have, ever fince the revolu-
tion, directed their learned cafuifts to employ their
pens on this iubject, by shewing the merits and
pretentions upon which they claim this juftice, as
founded upon the fen-ices they did towards the re-
storation of King Charks II. and at the revolution
raider the Prince of Orange. Which pleas I take-
o be the moft fmgular in their kind, that ever
vere offered in the face of the fun, againft the moil
daring lights of truth, and againft- a continuation
>f public facts known to all Europe for twenty
cars together. I fhall therefore impartially exa-*"
nine the merits and conduct of the Prefbyterians
pon thofe two great extms, and the pretentions
) favour which they challenge upon them. .
Soon after the reformat:on of the church in Eftg-i
Hid under Edward VI. upon Queen Mary's fuc-
eeding to the. crown (who reftored Popery), many
roteltants fled out' of England to efcape the
erlecution railed againft the church, as her bro-
ler had left it cftabliihed. Some of thefe exiles
pent to Geneva; which city had received the doc-
line of Calvin, and rejected the government of hi-
lltops ; with many other refi fsemefitt. . Tiiefe Eng-
Ih exiles readily embrace! the Geneva rvftem ;
Ipd having added further improvements of their
■vn, upon Queen Mary's death returned to Er **
Kid; where they preached up their -new opinions,
■weighing bitterly againft Epifcopacy, and all rites
IUI ceremonies, however innocent and ancient iu
■e church : building upon this foundation, to run
4 far as poflible from Popery even in the moil mi-
Jte and indifferent circumftances.- This faction
t ler.ft ftiffnefsor Efieftation. I have (ormtrff mentioned m what-
«ree cfcontcrr.pt and * afrcd he held the D .Hentery, efpecwllv lie
Kbyu-riar.s [a!-c.,v, r. ,33.] j ,nd I deed only ac.d, that as' this
pip..Ln wax v.i tten for v e meridian of Freland, it ought U hat
bn pl.sccd v.it'i the ether tracts on the -lame fuhjtft, Orrery. .
AJ lo i; is placed in this cditi n.
* 3 * in k%
e
174 THE PRESBYTERIANS
under the name of Puritan, became very turbulent
during the whole reign of Queen Elifabeth, and
were always difcouraged by that wife Queen, as
well as by her two fucceflbrs. However, their num-
bers as well as their infolence and perverfenefs fc
far increafed, that foon after the death of Kim
James I. many inftances of their petulancy anc
fcurrility are to be feen in their pamphlets writter
for fome years after (which was a trade they be
gan in the days of Queen Elizabeth), particular!;
with great rancour againft the bifhops, the habits
and the ceremonies : fuch were thofe fcur
rilous* libels under the title of Martin Mar
prelate, and feveral others. And although theEai
of Clarendon tells us, until the year 1 640 (as I re
member) the kingdom was in a ftate of perfei
peace and happinefs, without the leaft appearanc
of thought or deiign towards making any altera
tions in religion or government ; yet I have foun
by often rummaging for old books in Little Britai
and Ducklane, a great number of pamphlets prim
ed from the year 1630 to 1640, full of as bold an
impious railing expreflions againft the lawful powe
of the crown, and the order of bifhops, as eve
were uttered during the rebellion or the whole fut
fequent tyrrany of that fanatic anarchy. Howevei
I find it manifeft, that Puritanifm did not erect ii
felf into a new feparate fpecies of religion till forr
time after the rebellion began. For in the latte
times of King James I. and the former part of h
ion, there were feveral Puritan bifhops, and man
Puritan private clergymen ; while people went as the
inclinations led them to hear preachers of each pari
in the parifh churches ; for the Puritan clergy ha
received Epifcopal orders as we 11 as the reft. But foo
after the rebellion broke out, the term Puritan gn
dually dropt, and that of Prefbyterian fucceeded
which feet was in two or three vears eftablifhed i
4
all its forms, by what they called an ordinance c
tl:
PLEA OF MERIT. 175
the Lords and Commons, without confultlng the
King, who was then at war againft his rebels. And
from this period- the church continued under perfe-
ction, until monarchy was reftored in the year
1660.
In a year or two after we began to hear of a new
1 party rifen, and growing in the parliament as well
as the army, under the name of Independent: it
fpread indeed fomewh'at more in the latter ; but
not equal with the Prefbyterians either in weight
or number, until the very time the King was
murdered.
When the King, who was then a prifoner in the
ifle of Wight, had made his kit conceflions for a
peace to the ccmmiliioners of the parliament, who
attended him there ; upon their return to London,
i thev reported his Maieftv's anfwer in the houfe.
Whereupon a number of moderate members, who,
ss Ludlow fays, had fecured their own terms with
that prince, managed with fo much art as to obtain
a majority in a thin houfe, for pairing a vote, that
the King"s conccff.ons zuere a ground for a future fei-
tlement. But the great officers of the army, join-
ling with the difcontented members, came to a refo-
llution of excluding ail thofe who had confentcd to
■ that vote; which they executed in a military way.
Ilreton told Fairfax the general, arigidPrefbyterian,
J of this refolution ; who thereupon iilued his orders
I for drawing out the army the next morning, and
I placing guards in Weftminiter-hall, the court of
Hrequeits. and the lobby ; who, in obedience to the
[General, in conjunction with thofe members who
I had oppofed the vote, would let no member enter
the houfe except thofe of their own parry. Upon
II which the queftion for bringing the King to juftice
\\ was immediately put, and carried without oppoli-
j tio -' that I can find. Then an order was made for
his ti ial ; the time and place "ted ; the judges
I named, of whom Fairfax hit was one ; altho'
by
1 76 THE F&ESBYTEEIANS
by .the advice or threats of his wife he declined fit-
ting among them. However, by-frefh orders under
his own hand, which I have Cccn in print, he ap-
pointed guards to attend the judges at the trial, and.
to keep the city in quiet ; as he did likewife to pre-
vent any opposition from the people upon the day of
execution*..
From what I have already deduced it appears ma-
nifest, that the differences between thofe two feels,
Prefbyterian and Independent, did not then amount
to half fo much as what there is between a Whig and.
Tory at prefent among us. The deiign of utterly
extirpating monarchy and Epifcopacy was equally
the fame in both : evidently the confequence of the
very fame principles* upon which the Prefbyterians-
alone began, continued, and would have ended in
the fame events ; if towards the conclufion they.-
had not been bearded by that new party, with whom
they could not agree about dividing the fpoil. How-
ever, they held a good ihare of civil and military*;
employments during the whole time of the ufurpa-.
tion ; and their names, actions, and preferments,.
are frequent in the accounts of thofe times. For I .
make no doubt, that all the prudent Prefbyterians •
complied in proper feafons, falling in with the
ft* earn ; and thereby got that ihare in employments
which many of them held to the reftoration ; andu!
perhaps too many of them after. In the fame man-
iniT we lind our wifeft Tories in both kingdoms,*.,
upon the change of hands and .meafures at the
Qaieen's death, have endeavoured for feveral years--
by due compliances to recover the time they had loft';
by a temporary obftinacy ; wherein they have well i
Succeeded, according; to their .degrees of merit; of
whofe names I could here make honourable men-
tion, if I did not fear it might offend their mode-
fty. As to what is alledged, that fame of the Pref-
byterians declared openly againft the King's mur-
der; I allow it to be true. But from what motives £
No
PLEA OF MERIT. i77
No other can poffibly be affigned than perfect fpite,
rage, and envy, to rind themfelves wormed out of
all power by a new infant-fpawn of Independents
sprung from their own bowels. It is true, the dif-
ferences in religions tenets between them are very
few and trifling ; the chief quarrel, as far as I re-
member, relating to congregational and national
aflemblies. But where-ever intereit or power think
fit to. interfere, it little imports what principles the
,3ppofite parties think fit to charge upon each other:
for we fee at this day, that the Tories are more
lated by the whole fet of zealous Whigs, than the
/ery Papifts themfelves ; and in effect as much un-
qualified for the fraalleft office : although both
:hefc parties afTert themfelves to be of the fame re-
jgion in all its branches of doctrine and difcipline ;
md profefs the fame loyalty to the fame Proteftant
8dng and his heirs.
If the reader would know what became of this
independent party, upon whom all the mifchief is
:harged. by their Prefbyterian brethren, he may
ileafe to obferve, that during the whole ufurpa-
ion they contended by degrees with their parent
eel, and, as I have already laid, fhared in employ-
ments ; and gradually, after the reftoration, "min-
ted with the mafs of Prefbyterians ; lying ever
ince undiftinguifhed in the herd of Diffenters.
The Prefbyterian merit is of as little weight,
'vhen they alledge themfelves inftrumental towards
he King's reftoration. The kingdom grew tired
vith thofe ridiculous models of government ; firfr,
>y a houfe of Lords and Commons without a King ;
hen without Biihops ; afterwards by a Rump *
nd Lords Temporal ; then by a Rump alone ;
iext by a iingle perfon for life, in conjunction with
* This name w.is given to th.it part of the houfe of Common*,
rhich remained after the moderate men had been expelled by miii-
llary forte.
1
I
178 THE PRESBYTERIANS
a Council ; by Agitators ; by Major-generals ; by
a new kind of Reprefcntatives from the three king
doms ; by the Keepers of the Liberties of Eng-
land ; with other fchemes that have flipt out of 1113
memory. Cromwell was dead ; his fon Richard, 1
weak ignorant wretch, who gave up his monarch)
much in the fame manner with the two ufurpint
Kings of Brentford f ; the people harafTed wit!
taxes and other oppreffions. The King's party
then called the Cavaliers, began to recover then
ipirits. The few nobility icattered through th<
kingdom, who lived in a mo ft retired manner, oi>
ferving the confufion of things, could no longej
endure to be ridden by bakers, coolers, brewers
and the like, at the head of armies, and plundering
every where like French dragoons. The Rump af
femblv grew defpicable to thofe who had raifec i
them : the city of London exhaufted by almof !
twenty years contributing to their own ruin, deck
red again ft them. The Rump, after many death:
and refurredtions, was in the moll contemptou:
manner kicked out, and burnt in effigy. The ex- 1
eluded members were let in : a free parliament call- h
ed in as legal a manner as the times would allow;!
and the King reftored.
The fecond claim of Presbyterian merit is found*
eJ upon their feiTvic.es againft the dangerous defignj
of King James II. while that prince was ufing all
his endeavours to introduce Pcperv, which he o-
penly profefTed upon his coming to the crown ; to'
this they add their eminent fervices at the revoltbf
tion under the Prince of Orange.
Now, the quantum of Prefbyterian merit during1
the four years reign of that weak, bigotted, and
ill-advifed prince, as well as at the time of the revor'
Union, will eafily be computed by a recourfe to a
great number cf hiltories, pamphlets, and public
t In the Rchearfal.
papers.
PLEA OF MERIT. 179
->Apers, printed in thole times, and fome afterwards ;
slides the verbal teitimonies of many perfons yet
dive, who are old enough to have known and ob-
served the diifenters conduct in that critical pe-
•iod.
It is agreed., that upon King Charles II. 's death,
oon after his fuccelTor had publickly owned him-
elf a Roman Catholic, he began with his firft ca-
effes to the church-party; from whom having re-
ieived eery cold difcouraging anfwers, he applied
0 the Prefbvt^rian leaders and teachers ; being ad-
lifed by his priefts and Popiih courtiers, that the
jifeit methods towards introducing his -own reli-
lion would be by taking off the facramental teft,
ind giving a full liberty of confeience to all reli-
lions, (I fuppole that profefTed Chriftianity.) It
j:ems that the Prefbyterians in the latter years of
Ling Charles II. upon account of certain plots
allowed by Bifliop Burnet to be genuine) had been
bf a mort time forbid to hold their conventicles.
jVhereupon thefe charitable Chriftians, out of per-
:cl refentment againil: the church, received the
Spacious offers of King James with the ftrongeft
irofeiiions of loyalty, and higheft acknowledge-
ments for his favour. I have feen feveral of their
id reffes, full of thanks and praifes, with bitter
miinuations of what they had fuffered ; putting
Ijiemielves and the Papifts upon the fame foot, as
-Hlow-fufferers "for confeience ; and with the ftyle
k our brethren the Roman Catholics. About this
(pie began the project of clofeting, (which hath
Ijnce been prac tiled many times with more art and
iccefs), where the principal gentlemen of theking-
pm were privately chatechiled by his Majeffy, to
low, whether, if a new parliament were called,
ley would agree to pafs an act for repealing the fa-
r'-amental teft, and eftablilhing a general libertv of
onicience. But he received fo little encourage-
ment, that defpairing of iue-cefs, he had recourfe
to
i8o THE PRESBYTERIANS
to his difpenfing power, which the judges had d«
termined to be part of his prerogative. By colou;
of this determination he preferred feveral Prefbyte
Hans, and many Papifts, to civil and military em
ployments. While the King was thus bufied, it ii
well known that Manner Fagel, the Dutch envojj
in London, delivered the opinion of the Princ<
and Princefs of Orange, concerning the repea
of the teft ; whereof the King had fent an accoun
to their HighnefTes, to know how far they approvec
of it. The fubftance of their anfwer, as reportec
by Fagel, was this, " That their HighnefTes though
*' very well of a liberty of confeience ; but by nc
" means of giving employments to any other per
" fons than thole who were of the national church.'
This opinion was confirmed by feveral reafons :
cannot be more particular, not having the paper b]
me, although it hath been printed in many account:
of thofe times. And thus much every moderajj
churchman would perhaps fubmit to : but to truf
any part of the civil power in the hands of thofe
whole intereft, inclination, confeience, and formei
practices have been wholly turned to introduce a
different ivftem of religion and Government, hath
very few examples in any Chriftian ffcate ; nor any
at all in Holland, the great patronefs of univerfa!
toleration.
Upon the firfi: intelligence King Tames received
of an intended invaiion by the Prince of Orange,
among great numbers of Papifts to increase his
troops, he gave commiliions to feveral Prefbyterians;
fome of whom had been officers under the Ru?np;
and particularly he placed one Pvichards, a noted
Prefbyterian, at the head of a regiment, who had
been governor of Wexford in Cromwell's time, and
is often mentioned bv Ludlow in his memoirs. This
regiment was railed in England againft the Prince i
of Orange : the Colonel made his fon a captain,,
whom I knew, and who was as zealous a Preibytc- ,
ri.m
PLEA OF MERIT. 181
rian as his father. However, at the time of the
Prince's landing, the father, eafily forefeeing how
things would go, went over, like many others, to
die Prince, who continued him in his regiment;
but coming over a year or two after, to affift in
die liege of Derry, he behaved himfelf fo like ei-
i :her a coward or a traitor, that his regiment was
aken from him.
I will now confider the conduct of the church-par -
jy during the whole reign of that unfortunate King.
irhey were fo unanimous againft promiling to pal's
jm act for repealing the teft, and eitablifhing a ge-
jieral liberty of confeience, that the King duritnot
Iruft a parliament ; but encouraged by the profef-
lions of loyalty given him by his Prefbyterian friends,
■vent on with his difpenfing power.
The church-clergy at that time are allowed to
|iave written the belt collection of tracts againft Po-
pery, that ever appeared in England ; which are to
his day in the higheft eiteem. But upon the ftrict-
i ft inquiry, I could never hear of above one or
!>wo papers publifhed by the Prefbyterians at that
bime upon the fubject. Seven great prelates (he
b'f Canterbury among the reft) were fent to the
Lower for prefenting a petition, wherein they defir-
lid to be excufedin not obeying an illegal command
irom the King. The Bifhop of London, Dr.Comp-
pn, was fummoned before the commiflioners for
Rcclefiaftical affairs, for not fufpending Dr. Sharp
mfterwards Bilhop of York) by the King's com-
lliand. If the Prefbyterians exprefTed the fame zeal
i pon any occafion, the initances of it are not, as
can find, left upon record, or tranfmitted by tra-
i ition. The proceedings againft Magdalen college
III Oxford, for refufing to comply with the King's
landate for admitting a profelTed Papift upon their
Hmdation, are a ftanding proof of the courage
id firmnefs in religion fhewn by that learned focie-
r to the ruin of their fortunes. The Prefbyterians
'Vol. IV. Q^ know
132 THE PRESBYTERIANS
know very well, that I could produce many more
inftances of the fame kind. But thefe are enough
in fo fhort a paper as I intend at prefent.
It is indeed very true, that after King "William
was fettled on the Britifh throne, the Prefbyterians
began to appear, and offer their credentials, and
demand favour : and the new King having been o-
riginally bred a Calvinift, was defirous enough to
make them eafy (if that would do it) by a legal to-
leration ; although in his heart he never bore much
affection to that feci: ; nor deiigned to favour them
farther than as it flood with the prefent fcheme oi
politics ; as I have long fince been allured by the
greateff men of Whig principles at that time in
England.
It is likewife true, nor will it be denied, thai
when the King was poffeffed of the EngHfh crown,
and the remainder of the quarrel was left to be de-
cided in this kingdom ; the Prefbyterians wilelj
chofe to join with the Proteftant army, rather than
with that of King James their old friena, whofe
affairs were then in a manner defperate. They were
wife enough to know, that this kingdom divided a-
gainft. itfeif could never prevail againft the united
power of England. They fought pro aris etfocisz
for their eftates and religion ; which latter will ne-
ver fuffer fo much by the church of England, as I h
by that of Rome, where they are counted heretics m
as well as we : and confequently they have no other
game to play. But what merit they can build up-
on having joined with a Proteftant army, under a
King they acknowledged, to defend their own li-
berties and properties againft aPopiih enemy under
an abdicated King, is, I confefs, to me abfolutely
inconceivable ; and, I believe, will equally be fo
for ever to any reafonable man.
When thefe fectaries were feveral years ago mak- 1
ing the fame attempt for abolifhing the teft, many
groundlefs reports were indultrioufly and feafon- 1
ably
I
A
■I
i
III
k
i
PLEA OF MERIT. 183
, ably fpread of an invaflon threatened by the pre-
kender on the north of Ireland. At which time
the Prefbyterians in their pamphlets argued in a
i menacing manner, that if the Pretender fhould in-
iivade thofe parts of the kingdom where the num-
ribers and eftates of the DifTenters chiefly lay, they
would fit frill, and let us fight our own battles;
fince they were to reap no advantage, which ever
ade fhould be victors. If this were the courfe they
3J mended to take in fuch a eafe, I delire to know,
jfljiow they could contrive fafely to {land neuters, o-
jijherwife than by a compact with the pretender and
his army to fupport their neutralityr and protect
Whem againft the forces of the crown ? This is a
liecefTary fuppofition ; becaufe they muff otherwife
mave inevitably been a prey to both. However, by
I mis frank declaration they fufriciently fhewed their
wood-will, and confirmed the common charge laid
H.t their door, that a Scottifh or northern Prefby-
Merian hates our Epifcopal eftablifhed church more
[than Popery itfelf, And the reafon for this hatred
■3 natural enough ; becaufe it is the church alone
that ftands in the way between them and power ;
l/hich Popery doth not.
Upon this occaiion I am in fome doubt, whether
ae political fpreaders of thofe chimerical invaiions
liade a judicious choice in fixing the northern parts
If Ireland for that romantic enterprife. Nor can
Bwell underftand the wifdom of the Prefbyterians
^ii countenancing and confirming thofe reports ;
iecaufe it feems to caft a moft infamous reneclion
mpon the loyalty and religious principles of their
hole body : for if there had been any truth in the
latter, the conft quence muft have been allowed,
lat the pretender counted upon more afliftance
'om his father's friends the Presbyterians by chuf-
ig to land in thofe very parts, where their number,
fealth, and power, moft prevailed, rather than a-
1 .ong thofe of his own religion. And therefore,
IO 2 ill
1*4 THE PRESBYTERIANS
iii charity to this feci, I rather incline to believe,
that thofe reports of an invafion were formed and
fpread by the race of fmall politicians, in order to
do a feafonable job.
As to Popery in general, which for a thoufand
years paft hath been introducing and multiplying
corruptions both in doctrine and difcipline ; I look
upon it to be the moil abfurd fyftem of Chriftianity
profefTed by any nation. But I cannot apprehend
this kingdom to be in much danger from it. The
eftates of Papifts are very few ; crumbling into fmal]
parcels, and daily diminishing ; their common peo*
pie are funk in poverty, ignorance, and cowardice 5
and of as little confequence as women and children,
Their nobility and gentry are at leaft one half ruin-
ed, banifhed, or converted : they all foundly fee]
the fmart of what they furTered in the laft war ;
i'ome of them are already retired into foreign coun«
tries ; others, as I am told, intend to follow them ;
and the reft, I believe, to a man, who ftill pofTefj
any lands, are abfolutely determined never to ha-
zard them again for the fake of eftablifhing theii
fuperftition. If it hath been thought fit, as fom<
obferve, to abate of the law's rigour againft Pope-
ry in this kingdom, I am confident it was done for
very wife reafons, confidering the fituation of af-
fairs abroad at different times, and the intereft of
the Protectant religion in general. And as I do
not find the leaft fault in this proceeding ; fo I do
not conceive why a funk, difcarded party, who nei-
ther expect nor defire any thing more than a quiet,
life, mould, under the names of High-fliers, Jaco-
bites, and many other vile appellations, be charged
fo often in print, and at common tables, with en-
deavouring to introduce poperty and the pretend-
er ; while the Papifts abhor them above all men, on
account of feverities againft their priefts, in her
late Majefty's reign, when the now difbanded re-
probate party was in power. This I was convinced
of
.
PLEA OF MERIT. 185
of fome years ago by a long journey into the fou-
thern parts ; where i had the curioiity to fend for
many priefts of the parifhes I had paffed through,
and to my great fatisfaction found them every
where abounding in profeffions of loyalty to the
late King George ; for which they gave me the rea-
fons above mentioned ; at the fame time complain-
ing bitterly of the hardfhips they fuffered under
the Queen's laft miniftry.
I return from this dioreffion to the medeft de~
mands of the Prefbyrerians for a repeal of the fa-
crament;d teft, as a reward for their merits at the
reftoration and the revolution ; which merits I have
fairly reprefented, as well as my memory would al-
low me. If I have committed any miftakes, they
muft be of little moment. The facts and princi-
pal circumftances are what I have obtained and di-
gested from reading the hiftories of thofe times
written by each party ; and many thousands have
done the fame as well as I, who, I am fure, have in
their minds drawn the fame conclusions.
This is the fa&ion, and thefe the men who are
now renaming their applications, and giving in their
bills of merit to both kingdoms upon two points*
which of all others they have the leaft pretentions
:o offer. I have collected the facts with all poffible
Impartiality, from the current hiftories of thofe
imes ; and have fhewn, although very briefly, the
radual proceedings of thefe fecraries, under the
enominations of Puritans, Prefbyterians, and In-
ependents, for about the fpace of an hundred and
ighty years, from the beginning of Queen Eiifa-
eth to this prefent time. But notwithstanding all
tiat can be faid, thefe very fchifmatics (for fuch.
hey are in temporals as well as fphituals) are now
gain expecting, foliciting, and demanding, (not
without inflnuated threats, according to their cuf-
omj, that the parliament fhould fix them upon an
iqual foot with the church eftabliihed. 1 would
0^3 ^in
1 86 THE PRESBYTERIANS
fain know to what branch of the legiflature they-
can have the forehead to apply. Not to my Lords
the bifhops ; who muft have often read how the
predeceflbrs of this very faction, acting upon the
fame principles, drove the whole bench out of the
houfe ; who were then, and hitherto continue, one
of the three eftates : not to the temporal peers, the
fecond of the three eftates, who muft have heard,
that immediately after thofe rebellious fanatics had
J
murdered their King, they voted a houfe of Lords
to be ufelefs and dangerous, and would let them
iit no longer, otherwife than when elected as Com-
moners : not to the houfe of Commons ; who muft
have heard, that in thofe fanatic times the Prefby-
terian and Independent commanders in the army,
by military power, expelled all the moderate men
out of the houfe, and left a rump to govern the
nation : laftly, not the crown ; which thofe very
faints, deftined to rule the earth, trampled under
their feet, and then in cold blood murdered the
bleifed wearer.
But the feffion now approaching, and a clan oi
diftenting teachers being come up to town from
their northern head-quarters, accompanied by ma*
ny of their elders and agents, and (upported by a
general contribution, to folicit their eftablilhment
with a capacity of holding all military as well as ci-
vil employments I think it high time that this pa-
per mould fee the light. However, I cannot con-
clude without freely conferring, that if the Prefby-
terians fhould obtain their ends, I could not be for-
ry to find them miftaken, in the point which they
have moft at heart, by the repeal of the teft ; 1
mean the benefit of employments. For, after all,
what affurance can a Scottifh northern DhTenter.
born on Irifh ground, have, that he Ihall be treat-
ed with as much favour as a TRUE SCOT born
beyond the Tweed ?
I am
PLEA OF MERIT. 187
I am ready enough to believe, that all I have faid
ill avail but little. I have the common excufe of
ther men, when I think myfelf bound by all reli-
ious and civil ties to discharge my confcience, and
warn my countrymen upon this important occa-
on. It is true, the advocates for this fcherrie pro-
liie a new world after this bleiTed work lhall be
ompleted ; that all animolity and faction muft im-
mediately drop ; that the only diftincl:ion in this
ingdom will then be of Papiit and Proteftant :
or as to Whig and Tory, High-church and Low-
huich, Jacobite and Hanoverian, Court and
Country party. Engliih and Irilh interelts, DifTent-
;rs and Conformifts, New Light and Old Light,
,Vnabaptift and Independent, Quaker and Muggle-
onian ; they will all meet and jumble together
nto a perfeci harmony at the feffions and affizes,
n the bench and in the revenues, and, upon the
rhole, in all civil and military trails, not except-
g the great councils of the nation. For it is wife-
y argued thus : That a kingdom being no more
han a larger knot of friends met together, it is
gainft the rules of good manners to mut anv per-
bn out of the company, except the Papifts, who
>rofefs themfelves of another club.
I am at a lofs to know, what arts the Prefbyterian
eel: intends to ufe in convincing the world of their
oyalty to kingly goverment, which, (long before
he prevalence, or even the birth of their Inde-
pendent rivals), as foon as the king's forces were
overcome, declared their principles to be againft
monarchy, as well as Epifcopacy and the houfe of
Lords, even until the King was reftored : at which
event, although they were forced to fubmit to the
prefent power, yet I have not heard, that they did
ever to this day renounce any one principle, by
which their predecefTors then acted ; yet this they
have been challenged to do, or at leaft to ihew that
others
•I
1 88 THE PRESBYTERIANS
others have done it for them, by a certain * Docfr
who, as I am told, hath much employed his p
in the like difputes. I own they will be ready
nough to infinuate themfelves into any governmei
but if they mean to be honeft and upright, th
will and muft endeavour, bv all means which th
mall think lawful, to introduce and eftablifh thi
own fcheme of religion, as neareft approaching
the word of God, by cafting out all iuperftitio
ceremonies, ecclefiaftical titles, habits, diltmctioi
and fuperiorities, as rags of Popery, in order tc
thorough reformation ; and, as in charity boun
to promote the falvation of their countrymen, wil
ing with St. Paul, fi that the whole kingdom we
" as they are." But what aiTurance will they pie?
to give, that when their feci mall become the n
tional eftabliihed worfhip, they will treat us Di
senters as we have treated them? Was this tht
courfe of proceeding during the dominion of tl
faints ? Were not all the remainders of the Epifc
pal church in thofe days, efpecially the clergy, u:
der a perfecution for above a dozen years, equal 1
that of the primitive Chriftians under Heathen en
perors ? That this proceeding was fuitable to the
principles, is known enough ; for many of the
preachers then writ books exprefsly againft allov
ing any liberty of confcience in a religion differer
from their own ; producing many arguments t
prove that opinion, and among the reft one fre
quently infiitdd on ; that allowing fuch a libert
would be to " eftablifh iniquity by a law*'." Man:
of thefe writings are yet to be feen \ and, I hear
have been quoted by the Doctor above men
tioned.
As to their great objection of proftituting tha
* The late Dr. TifJel, who died June i7;6.
* See many handred quotations to prove this, in the trcuife called.
Satcb Prabjtcr'ui:; Ehqxintjl*
horj
PLEA OF MERIT. jStj
ioly inftitution, the blefTed facrament, by way of
. teft before admittance into any employment ; I
Ik, whether they would not be content to receive
e " after their own manner" for the office of a
pdge, for that of a commiflioner in the revenue,
jor a regiment of horfe, or to be a Lord Juftice.
believe they would fcruple it as little, as a long
;race before and after dinner, which they can fay
vithout bending a knee ; for, as I have been told,
heir manner of taking bread and wine, in their
jonventicles, is performed with little more folem-
iiity than at their common meals. And therefore,
ince they look upon our practice in receiving the
jlements to be idolatrous, they neither can nor ought
p confcience to allow us that liberty, otherwife
han by connivance, and a bare toleration, like
vhat is permitted to the Papifts. But left we fhould
)ffend them, I am ready to change this teft for an-
other ; although, I am afraid, that fanclified reafon
s by no means the point where the difficulty pinches,
md is only offered by pretended churchmen. ; as if
hey could be content with our believing, that the
jnpiety and profanation of making the facrament
teft were the only objection. I therefore pro-
>oie, that before the prefent law be repealed, ano-
her may be enacted ; that no man (hall receive any
:mployment before he fwears himfelf to be a true
nember of the church of Ireland, in doctrine and
lifcipline, <&c. and that he will never frequent or
:crnmunicate with anv other form of worfhip. It
hall likewife be further enacted, That whoever of-
"ends, <&c. mail be lined five hundred pounds, im-
briioned for a year and a day, and rendered inca-
)able of all public truft for ever. Otherwife I do
iniift, that thofe pious, indulgent, external profef-
ttrs of our national religion lhall, either give up
hat fallacious hypocritical reafon for taking off the
eft, or freely confefs, that they defire to have a
;ate wide open for every feet, without anv teft at
all,
i$o THE PRESBYTERIANS
all, except that of fwearing loyalty to the King
which, however, confidering their principles witl
regard to monarchy yet unrenounced, might, i
they would pleafe to look deep enough into thei:
own hearts, prove a more bitter teft than any othe:
that the law hath yet invented.
For, from the frrft time that thefe fectaries ap
peared in the world, it hath been always found fr
their whole proceedings, that they profefTed an ut
ter hatred to kingly government. I can recoiled
at prefent three civil eftablifhments, where Calvin
ifts, and fome other reformers who rejected Epifco
pacy, poffefs the fupreme power ; and thefe are ai
republics ; I mean Holland, Geneva, and the re'
formed Swifs cantons. I do not fay this in dimi-
nution or difgrace to commonwealths ; wherein, ]
confefs, I have much altered many opinions undei
which I was educated, having been led by fome ob-
fervation, long experience, and a thorough d defla-
tion for the corruptions of mankind : infomuch
that I am now juftly liable to the cenfure of Hobbes}
who complains, that the youth of England imbibe
ill opinions from reading the hiftories of ancient
Greece and Rome, thofe renowned fcenes of liber-
ty and every virtue.
But as to monarchs, who muft be fuppofed well
to fludy and underftand their own intereft ; they
will beft confider, whether thofe people who in all
their actions, preachings, and writings, have open-
ly declared themfelves againlt regal power, are to
be fafely placed in an equal degree of favour and
truft with thofe who have been always found
the true and only friends to the Englifh eftablifh-
ment. From which confederation, I could have
added one more article to my new teft, if I had
thought it worth my time.
I have been aflured, by fome perfons who were
prefent, that feveral of thefe difTenting teachers,
vipon their hrit arrival hither to folicit the repeal of
the
PLEA OF MERIT. 1^2
lie teft, were pleafed to exprefs their gratitude, by
•ublicly drinking the healths of certain eminent
atrons, whom they pretend to have found among
s. If this be true, and that the left muft be de-
vered up by the very fuperiors appointed to dc-
:nd it, the affair is already in effect at an end.
iVhat fecret reafons thofe patrons may have given
>r fuch a return of brotherly love, I mail not in-
:uire : " For, O my foul, come not thou into
their fecret ; unto their ajfembly, mine honour,
be not thou united. For in their anger they flew
! a man, and in their felf-will they digged down a
wall Curled be their anger, for it was fierce ;
and their wrath, for it was cruel. I will divide
.them in Jacob, and fcatter them in Ifrael."
&M$
The
L 192 J
«$♦•$*♦§• •§•*& <$• •$• ■$♦ §• $ 4* ♦ *§**§•*$• -$-4* •$♦•$• *§*^ •$*
The Advantages propcfed by repealing th(
SACRAMENTAL TEST, impartially
confidered.
Written in the year 1732.
"ITrHoever writes impartially upon this fubjeft
* * muft do it not only as a mere fecular man
but as one who is altogether indifferent to any par
ticular fyftem of Chriftianity. And, I think, ii
whatever country that religion predominates, ther
is one certain form of worfhip and ceremony
which is looked upon as the eitablifhed ; and con
fequently, only the prierts of that particular fora
are maintained at the public charge ; and all civi
employments beftowed among thofe who compl;
(at leaft outwardly) with the fame eitablifhment.
This method is ftrictly obferved, even by on;
neighbours the Dutch, who are confeffed to allov,
the fuller! liberty of confeience of any Chriltiar,
ft ate ; and yet are never known to admit any per,,
fons into civil offices, who do not conform to the
legal worfhip. As to their military men, they an
indeed not fo fcrupulous ; being by the nature oi
their government under a necerlity of hiring fo-
reign troops of whatever religious denomination
upon every great emergency, and maintaining nc,
fmall number in time of peace.
This caution therefore of making one eftablifhed
faith icems to be univerfal, and founded upon the
ftrongefr. reafons, the miftaken or affected zeal oi
obMinacy and enthuiiafm having produced fuch a,
number
1
i
THE ADVANTAGES PROPOSED, &c. 193
lumber of horrible deftiuc~tive events throughout
ill Chriftendom. For whoever begins to think the
national worlhip is wrong in any important article
pf practice or belief, will, if he be ferious, natu-
ally have a zeal to make as many profclytes as he
ran : and a nation may poffibly have an hundred
lifferent feels with their leaders ; every one of
i/hich hath an equal right to plead, that they mufl
r obey God rather than man ; muft cry aloud and
: fpare not ; mufi lift up their voice like a trum-
: pet."
This was the cafe of England during the fanatic
lines. And againft all this there feems to be no
efeiice, but that of fupporting one eftablifhed
pirn of doctrine and difcipline ; leaving the reft to
bare liberty of confeience, but without any main-
pnance or encouragement from the public.
Wherever this national religion grows fo cor-
»upt, or is thought to do fo by a very great majo-
hty of landed people joined to the governing party,
rhether prince or fenate, or both, it ought to be
hanged ; provided the work might be done with-
ut blood or confufion. Yet, whenever fuch a
[fiange fliall be made, fome other eftablifhment
jiuft fucceed, although for the worfe ; allowing all
eviations, that would break the union, to be only
iterated. In this fenfe, thofe who affirm that e-
;ry law which is contrary to the law of God, is
:>id in itfelf, feem to be miftaken ; for many laws
Popilh kingdoms and ftates, many more among
le Turks, and perhaps not a few in other conn-
ies, are directly againft the divine laws ; and yet,
od knows, are very far from being void in the
secutive part.
That, for inftance, if the three eftates of parlia-
ent in England (whereof the Lords Spiritual,
ho reprefent the church, are one) fhould agree
bd obtain the royal alTent to aboliih Epiicopacy,
>gether with the liturgy, and the whole frame of
Vol. IV. ' Pv toe
ti
194 THE ADVANTAGES PROPOSED
the Engliih church, as " burthenfome, danger
ous, and contrary to holy fcriprure; and tha
Prefbytery, Anabaptifm, Quakerifm, Indepcn
dency, Muggletonianifm, Brownifm, Famiiilm,
or any other fabdivided feet among us, Should b
eifabliihed in its place: without queftion all peace
able fubjects Ought paffively to fiibmit; and th
predominant feet mult become the religion efta
%lifhed ; ihe public maintaining no other teachers
nor admitting any perfons of a different religion
profeffion into civil offices, at leaft if their inten
•tion be to preferve the nation in peace.
Suppofmg then, that the prefent fyflem of reli
gion were abolifhed : and Prefbytery, which I fini
'Hands the faireft, with its fynods and claffes, an'
all its forms and ceremonies effential or circum
itantial, were erected into the national worlhip
their teachers, and no others, could have an;
legal claim to be tranfported at the public charge
•whether by ftipends or tithes ; and only the reft 0
•the fame faith to be capable of civil employments.
If there be any true reafoning in what I hav<
laid down, it mould feem, that the project now ii
agitation for repealing the teft-act, and yet leavinj
the name of an eftablifhment to the prefent nation
al church, is altogether inccnfiftent ; and may ad
mit of confequences, which thofe who are the mofi
indifferent to any religion at all, are poffibly not a
ware of.
I prefume whenever the teft mall be repealed,
which obliges all men who enter into office under
ihe crown, to receive the facrament according to
the rites of the church of Ireland; the way to em-
ployments will immediately be left open to all Dif
fenters, (except Papifts) ; whofe confeiences can'
fuf^er them to take the common oaths in fuch cafes'
prescribed ; after which, they are qualified to iill
an!y lay-ftation in this kingdom, from that. of chief j
governor tc an exciseman.
Tkus,
BY REPEALING THE TEST. 19;
Thus, of the three judges on each bench the firfl
nay be a Prefbyterian, the fecond a free-will Bap-
ift, and the third a Churchman ; the Lord Chali-
cllor may be an Independent ; the revenues may
e managed by feven commiifioners of as many
I ,ih°erent feels ; and the like of all other employ-
lents : not to mention the itrong probability, that
:.ie lawfulnefs of taking oaths may be revealed to
me Quakers, who then will ftand upon as good a
lot for preferment, as any other loyal fubjects,
J is obvious to imagine, under fuch a motley ad-
ijiniftration of affairs, what a claming there will
a r of intereft and inclinations ; what pullings and
jiawlings backwards and forwards ; what a zeal
Kid bias in each religionift to advance his own tribe,
■id deprefs the others. For I fuppofe nothing -
ill be readier granted, than that how indifferent
■ever moll men are in faith and morals, yet, whe-
|er out of artifice, natural complexion, or love of •
•ntradi&ion, none are more obilinate in main-
lining their own opinions, and worrying all
■ho differ from them, than thofe who publicly
Mew the leail fcn'~c either of reliaion or common"
imefty.
? As to the latter, Bifhop Burnet tells us, that
■e Prefbyterians, in the fanatic times, profeiied
temfeives to be above mortality ; which as we find
i lb me of their writings, was numbered among
wp beggarly elements : And accordingly, at this
■y, no fcruples of confeience, with regard to con-
■rmity, are, in any trade or calling, inconfiftent
%th the greateft fraud, opprefiion, perjury, or any
mier vice.
This brings to my memory a paffage in Men- -
jgne, of a common proflitute, who, in the ftorm-
of town, when a foldier came up to her cham-
*, and offered violence to her chaflity, rather
cofe to venture her neck, by leaping out of the
ipdow, than fuffer a rape; yet full continued her j
R 2 trade
ic6 THE ADVANTAGES PROPOSED
trade of lewdnefs, while flie had any cuftomenj
left.
I confefs, that, in my private judgment, an un-
limited permiffion of nil feels whatsoever (excepil
Papifts) to enjoy employments would be lefs per-I
nicious to the public, than a fair ftruggle betweer.l
two contenders; becaufe, in the former cafe, fuel]
a jumble of principles might pofhbly have the effe£
of contrary poifons mingled together which affront
conftitution might perhaps be able for fome tim<
to furvive.
But however I fhall take the other and mor<
probable luppontion, that this battle for employ
merits is to be fought only between the Prefbyteri
ans, and thofe of the church yet eftablifhed. .
fhall not enter into the merits of either ild<
by examining, which of the two is the bet
ter fpiritual ceconomy, or which is moil fuit
ed to our civil conftitution ; but the queftioi
turns upon this point ; when the Prefbyte
rians fhall have got their fhare of employments
(which muft be one full half, or elfe they cannoi
look upon themfelves as fairly dealt with), I aik
whether they ought not, by their own principles
and by the ffrieteft rules of confeience, to ufe the
utmoft of their fkill, power, and influence, in or-
der to reduce the whole kingdom to an uniform™
in religion, both as to doctrine and difcipline moll
agreeable to the word of God. Wherein, if they
can fucceed without blood, (as under the prefent
difpoiition of things is is very poiiible they may), it
is to be hoped they will at laft be fatisfied : only 1
would warn them of a few difficulties. The firft is,
of compromiilng among themfelves that important
controverfy about the old lig^t and the new ; which
other- rife may, after this eftablimment, fplit them
as wide as Papift and Proteftant, Whig and Tory,
or Churchman and DiiTenter ; and confequently
he work will be to begin again ; for in religious
quarrels'
.i
fii
i
BY REPEALING THE TEST. 197
larrels it is of little moment, how few or fmall
le differences arc; efpecialiy when the difpute is
hjy about power. Tlius the zealous Prefbyterians
J the North are more alienated from the eitablimcd
brgy, than from the llomiih prieils ; taxing the
Inner with idolatrous worihip, as diiguiied Pa-
jjfls, Ceremony-mongers., and many other terms
q art ; and this for a very powerful reaion ; be-
i(ufe the clergy itaiul in their, way, which the Po-
|(h priefts do not. Thus I am allured that the
jharrtl between old and new light men is managed • •
I o o
Nth more rage and rancour, than any other dif->
jite of the higheft importance ; and this, becaufe
jierves to leiien or increafe their feveral -congre-
Itions, from whom they receive their contribu-
|)ns.
Another difficulty, which may embarrafs the-
efbyterians after their eitablifhment, will be, how
adjuft their claim of the kirk's independency on
civil power, with the confutation of this mo-
.rchy : a point fo delicate, that it hath often fil- -
the heads of great patriots with dangerous
tions of the church-clergy without the leaft *
lound of fufplcion;*
■ As to the Prefbyterians allowing liberty of con-'
lence to thofe of Eplfcop.il principles, when their
■In kirk mall be predominant ; their writers are fo-
liverfally agreed in the negative, as well as their
■i&ice during Oliver Cromwell's reign, that I be-'
Ive no reaib nable churchman (who muff, then be"
t)hTenter) will expert it.
ll mall here take notice, that in the divifidn; of
Irployments among the Prefbyterians after this
■proaching repeal of the tcft-ac~t, fuppofmg them
■ proper time to have .an equal fhare, the odds
Bl be three or four to one on their fide in anv
■•ther fcheirrs they mav have towards making their
iigion national, For I reckon all thofe gentle- -
In lent over from .England, whatever religion-
K 3 the.
ioS THE ADVANTAGES PROPOSED
they profefs, or have been educated in, to be c
that party : fince it is no mark of prudence for an
perfons to oppofe the current of a nation, wher
they are in fome fort only fojourners ; unlefs the
have it in direction.
If there be any maxim in politics not to be cor
trolled, it mufc be the following : that thofe whoi
private intereft is united with the intereft of the:
country, fuppoiing them to be of equal undei
itanding with the reft of their neighbours, wi
heartily wifh, that the nation mould thrive. Oi
of thefe are indubitably excepted all perfons wh
are fent from another kingdom to be employed i
places of profit or power ; becaufe they cannc
pofiibly bear any affection to the place where the
ibjourn, even for life; their fole bufinefs being t
advance themfelves by following the advice of the
principals. I except likewife thofe perfons wh
are taken into offices, although natives of the land
becaufe they are greater gainers while they kee
their offices, than they could pofiibly be by menc
ing the miferable condition of their country.
I except, thirdly, all hopers, who, by balancin
accounts with themfelves. turn the fcale en th
fame fide ; becaufe the ftrong expectation of
.good certain falary will outweigh the lofs by ba<
rents received, out of lands in moneylefs times.
If my Lords the Bifhops, who, I hear, are no\
employed in a fcheme for regulating the conduc*
and maintenance of the inferior clergy, fhall, ii
their wifdom ad piety, and love of the church, con
fent to this repeal of the teft, I have not the leal
doubt, that the whole reverend body will chearful
ly fubmit to their fpiritual fathers ; of whofe pa
ternal tendernefs for their welfare thev have al
ready found fo many arirAziuginftances.
I am not therefore under the leaft coneern abou
the clergy on this account. They will (for form
time) be no great fufferers by this repeal ; becauf<
BT REPEALING THE TEST. i99
I cannot recoiled! among all our feels any one that
giveth latitude enough to take the oaths required
at an inftitution to a church-living ; and untii that
ibar ihall be removed, the prefent Epifcopal clergy
are fafe for two years, Although it may be fome-
what unequal, that in the northern parts, . where
there may be three DiiTenters to one churchman,
the whole revenue fhall be ingrofied by him who
hath fo fmali a part of the cure.
It is true indeed, that this difadvantage which
ithe DiiTenters at prefent lie under, of a difability
ito receive church-preferments will be eafily reme-
died by the repeal of the teft. For the Diffenting
teachers are under no incapacity of accepting civil
(and military employments ; wherein they agree per-
fectly with the Popifh clergy ; among whom great
-icardinals and prelates have been commanders of
Sarmies, chief minifters, knights of many orders,
/ambaiTadors, fecretaries of ftate, and in moft high
jofnc-s under tire crown ; although they aliert the
indelible character, which no fec~taries among us
fdid ever afliime. But that many, both Prefbyte-
jiians and Independents, commanders as well as
iprivate foldiers, were profefTed preachers in the
;itime of their dominion, is allowed bv all. Cromwell
ilhimfelf was a preacher ; and hath left us one of
Ihis lermons in print, exactly in the fame ftyle and
amanner with thofe of our modern Prefbyterian
jteachers : fo was Colonel Howard, Sir George
rlDowning, and feveral others, whofe names are on
(record. I can therefore fee no reafon why a pain-
ful Prefbyterian teacher, as focn as the tell lhall
be repealed, may not be privileged to hold along
with the fpiritual office and ftipend a commiffion
in the army or the civil lift in commendam : for, as
U take it, the church of England is the only body
of Chriftians, which in efrec~t difoualifies thofe who
iare employed to preach its doctrine, from iharing
in the civil power, farther than as fenators ; yet
this
2oo THE ADVANTAGES PROPOSED I
this was a privilege begun in times of Popery, many!
hundred years before the reformation, and woverlj
with the very mttitution of our limited monarchy.
There is indeed another method, whereby xht
ftipends. of difTenting teachers may be railed, and
the fanner much relieved ; if it mould be thoushi
proper to reward a people fo deferving, and fo loy'
al by their principles. Every bifliop, upon the va-
cancy of a church-living, can fequeiler the profit;
for the ufe of the next incumbent. Upon a lapf<
of half a year, the donation falls to the archbilhop_
and after a full year to the crown during pleafure
Therefore it would be no hardfhip for any clergy mar
alive, if (in thofe parts of Ireland, where the num-
ber of fectaries much exceeds that of the conform'
ills) the profits, when fe que fee red, might be ap
plied to the fupport of the difTenting teacher, whe
hath fo many fouls to take care of: whereby the
poor tenants would be much relieved in thofe hare
times, and in a better condition to pay their rents.
But there is another difficulty in this matter, a-
gainft which a remedy doth not fo readily occur,
For fuppoiing the teft-act repealed, and the DilTen-
ters in confequence fully qualified for all fecular
employments ; the queition may frill be put, whe-
ther thofe of Ireland will be often the perfons oo
whom they fhali be bellowed ; becaufe it is ima-
gined, that there may be >* another feminary in
view, more numerous and more needy, as well as
more meriting, and more ealily contented with fuch
low orlices ; which fome nearer neighbours hardly
think it worth ftirring from the chimney-fides to
obtain, And, I am told, it is the common practice
of thofe who arefkilled in the management of bees,
that when they fee a foreign fwarm at fome diftance,
approaching with an intern ion to plunder their
hives, thefe artifts have a trick to divert them into
* Scotland.
fome
BY REPEALING THE TEST. 201
jme neighbouring apiary, there to make what ha>
■ ock they pleafe. This I mould not have hinted,
; r I had not known it already to have gotten ground
' 1 many fufpecting heads; for it is the peculiar ta-
j mt of this nation to fee dangers afar off: to all
Jrhich I can only fay, that our native Prefbyterians
aiiuft by pains"and induftry raife fuchafund of me-
i^ -as will anfwer to a birth fix degrees more to the
orth. If* they cannot arrive at this perfection, as
jveral of the eftablifhed church have compafTed by
idefatigable pains, I do not fee well how their af-
?|iirs will much mend by repealing the teft : for to
e qualified by law to accept an employment, and
et to be difqualified in fact, as it will much increafe
:*€ mCitiskaticn, fo it will withdraw the pity of
lany among their wellwifhers, and -utterly deprive
aem of that merit they have {q long made, of be-
ig a loyal, true Proteftant people, perfecuted only
or religion.
If this happen to be their cafe, they muft wait
maturity of time; until they can by prudent, gentle
teps, make ttieir faith become the religion efta-
•lilhed in the nation ; after which, I do not in the
baft doubt, that they will take the moft effectual
lethods to fecure their power againft thofe who
iuft then be DiiTenters in their turn ; whereof, if
re may form a future opinion from prefent times,
nd the difpoiitions of DhTenters, who love to make
thorough reformation, the number and qualities
.rill be very inconfiderable.
Thus I have, with the utmoft fincerity, after
3ng thinking, given my judgment upon this ardu-
ous affair ; but with the utmoft deference and fub-
niffion to public wifdom and power.
QUERIES
i 202 ]
*m^*Wi ^m&*Hm^¥?ti &m
QJJ E R I E S relating to the Sac r amen
tal Test.
Written in the year 1732%
Query, T IT TTIether hatred and violence be
VV tween parties in a ftatc be e
more inflamed by different views of intereft, thai
by the greater or leffer differences between them ei
ther in religion or government ?
Whether it be any part of the queftion at thi:
time, Which of the two religions is worfe, Poper)
or Fanaticifm ; or not rather, Which of the twe
(having both the fame good will) is in the hopeful-
left condition to ruin the church ?
Whether the feclaries, whenever they come to
pre v ah1, will not ruin the church as infallibly and
effectually as rhe Papifts ?
Whether the prevailing fectaries could allow li-
-berty of confeience to Diffenters without belying all
their former practice, and almoft ail their former
writings ?
Whether many hundred thoufand Scotch Pref-
byterians are not full as virulent again ft the Epifco-
pal church, as they are againft the Papifts ; or as
they would have us think the Papifts are againft
them ?
Whether the Dutch, who are moft diftinguilhed
for allowing liberty of confeience, do ever admit
any perfons, who profefs a different fcheme of wor-
ship from their own into civil employments, altho*
they
QUERIES RELATING TO, &c. 203
hey may may be forced by the nature of their go-
aentto receive mercenary troops of all religions?
Whether the Diffenters ever pretended, until of
l:ite years, to delire more than a bare toleration ?
Whether, if it be true, what a forry pamphlc-
;er aflerts, who lately writ for the teft, that the
)iiTenters in this kingdom are equally numerous
'ith the churchmen, it would not be a neceiiary
pint of prudence by all proper and lawful means to
prevent their further increafe ?
The great argument given by thofe whom they
all low churchmen, to juftify the large tolerations
ilowed to Diilenters hath been, that by fuch in-
ulgencies the rancour of thofe fectaries would gra-
ually wear off, many of them would come over to
s, and their parties in a little time crumble to no-
ling.
Qiiery, Whether if what the above pamphleteer
ifTerts, that the fectaries are equal in numbers with
onformifb be true, it doth not clearly follow, that
ofe repeated tolerations have operated directly
^ntrary to what thofe low-church politicians pre-
nded to forefee and expect ?
Whether any clergyman, however dignified or
ftinguifhed, if he think his own profeffion moft
*reeable to holy fcripture and the primitive church,
in really wifb in his heart, that all fectaries fhould
2 upon an equal foot with the churchmen in the
oint of civil power and employments ?
Whether Epifcopacy, which is held by the church
be a divine and apoftolical inftitution, be not a
mdamental point of religion, particularly in that
fential one of conferring holy orders ?
■Whether, by neceiiary confequences, the feveral
pedients among the fectaries to conftitute their
achers are not abfoluteiy null and void ?
Whether the fectaries will ever agree to accept
'dination only from biiLops ?
Whether
2o4 QUERIES RELATING TO
Whether the bifhops and clergy will be conte
to give up Epiicopacy, as a point indifferent, wit
out which the church can well fubfift ?-'
Whether that great tendernefs towards fechirit
which nowfo much prevails, be chiefly Owing to tl
fears of Popery, or to that fpirit of Atheiim, D
ifm, Scepticifm, and univerfal immorality, whi«
all good men fo much lament ?
Granting Popery to have many more errors
religion than any one branch of the fecial ies, ]
us examine the actions of both, as they have eai
affected the peace of thefe kingdoms, with alloJ
ance for the ihort time which the fectaries had to a
in, who are in a manner but of yefterday. The P
pifts in the time of King James II. ufed all endc
vours to eftablifh their fuperftition, wherein th
failed by the united power of Englifh church Prot
ftants with the Prince of Orange's afliftance. B
it cannot be afferted, that thefe bigotted Papilts h;
the leaft defign to oppofe or murder their Kin
irfiuch lefs to abolifh kingly government ; nor was
their intereft or inclination to attempt either.
On the other fide, the Puritans, who had almc
from the beginning of Queen Elifabeth's reign be«
a perpetual thorn in the church's fide, joining wii
the Scotch enthufiafts in the time of King Charles
were the principal caufe of the Irifh rebellion at
maffacre, by diftreffing that prince, and making
impoffible for him to fend over timely fuccour
And after that pious prince had fatisfied *his parli;
ment in every fingle point to be complained of, tr.
fame fectaries, by poifoning the minds and affei
tions of the people with the moft falfe and wicke
reprefentations of their King, were able, in th
compafs of few years, to embroil the three natior
in a bloody rebellion at the expenfe of many thoi
fand lives ; to turn the kingly power into anarchy
to murder their prince in the face of the world, an
0
i
THE SACRAMENTAL TEST. 20$
'in their own ftyle) to deftroy the church root and
jranch.
The account therefore ftands thus : The Papifts
limed at one pernicious act, which was to deftroy
:he Protectant religion ; wherein by God's mercy,
..nd the afililance of our glorious King William,
jlhey ablblutely failed. The fectaries attempted the
hree moft infernal actions that could poffibly enter
ptp the hearts of men foriaken by God ; which
<.rere, the murder of a moit pious king, the de-
duction of the monarchy, and the extirpation of
|ae church ; and fucceeded in them all.
Upon which I put the following queries : Whe-
lier any of thofe fectaries have ever yet in a folemn
ublic manner renounced any one of thcfe prin-
iples upon which their predeceilbrs then acted ?
Whether, considering the cruel perfecutions of
lie Epifcopal church during the courfe of that hor-
d rebellion, and the coniequences of it until the
appy reftoration, it is not manifeft, that the per-
cutingfpirit lies lb equally divided between thePa-
lts and the fectaries, that a feather would turn the
Jance on either fide ?
And therefore, laftly, Whether any perfon of
>mmon underftanding, who profefTeth himielf a
ember of the church cftablifhed, although perhaps
ith little inward regard to any religion, (which is
o often the cafe), if he loves the peace and well-
re of his country, can after cool thinking rejoice
ke a power placed again in the hands of fo reft-
s, fo ambitious, and fo mercilefs a faction, to
t over all the fame parts a fecond time ?
Whether the candour of that expreffion fo f re-
lent of late in fermons and pamphlets, of the
engthand number of the Papijts in Ireland, can
juftified ? for as to their number, however great,
is always magnified in proportion to the zeal or
■litics of the fpeaker and writer ; but it is a grefs
wpofmon upon common reafon to terrify us with
WVoL.IV. S their
2o6 QUERIES RELATING TO
their ftrength. For Popery, under the circum
fiances it lies in this kingdom, although it be ofren
fiveund inconvenient enough from the confequen
ces it hath to increafe the rapine, floth, and igno
ranee, as well as poverty of the natives, is not pro
perly dangerous in that fenfe, as fome would hav
us take it ; becaufe it is univerMy hated by e
very party of a different religious profeffion. It i
the contempt of the wife ; the bell topic for c
mours of defigning men ; but the real error only o
fools. The landed Popifh intereft in England fa
exceeds that among us, even in proportion to th
wealth and extent of each kingdom. The littl
that remains here is daily dropping into Proteftar
hands by purchafe or defcent : and that affecle
complaint of counterfeit converts will fall with tbl
cauie of it in half a generation, unlefs it be raife I
or kept alive as a continual fund of merit and ek
quence. The Papiits are wholly difarmed : the
have neither courage, leaders, money, or inclin?
tions, to rebel : they want every advantage whic
they formerly poffefTed, to follow that trade ; an I
wherein even with thofe advantages they always
mifcarried : they appear very eafy and fatislied ur
der that connivance, which they enjoyed during th
whole laft reign ; nor ever fcrupled to reproach ar
other party, under which they pretend to have ful
fered fo much feverity.
Upon thefe considerations, I muft confefs t
have fufpended much of my pity towards the gres
'dreaders of Popery ; many of whom appear to b
hale, ftrong, active, young men ; who, as I ar
told, eat, drink, and fleep heartily ; and are ver
chearful (as they have exceeding good reafon) up
on all other fubjects. However, I cannot to*
much commend the generous concern which on
neighbours, and others who come from the fam
neighbourhood, are lb kind to exprefs forusupoi
this account ; although the former be farther re
move
THE SACRAMENTAL TEST. 207
noved from the clanger of Popery by twenty
eagues of falt-water : but this, I fear, is a digrei-
ion.
"When an artificial report was raifed here many
;ears ago, of an intended invaiion by the pretend-
r, (which blew over after it had done its office),
he Diffenters argued in their talk and in their pam«
>hlets after this manner, applying themfclves to
hofe of the church : Gentlemen, if the pretender
iad landed, as the law now ftands, we durlt not
j.ffift you ; and therefore, unlefs you take off the
reft, whenever you mall happen to be invaded in
hrnefc, if we are defired to take up arms in your
jiefence, our anfwer fhall be, Pray, Gentlemen,
jight your own battles ; we will lie by quietly ; con-
jiuer your enemies by yourlelves, if you can ; we
pill not do your drudgery. This way of realoning
I have heard from feveral of their chiefs and abet-
tors in an hundred converfations ; and have read
j: in twenty pamphlets : and I am confident it will
i»e offered again, if the project mould fall to take
'ff the teft.
Upon which piece of oratory and reafoning I
orm the following query. Whether, in cafe of an
avaiion from the Pretender, (which is not quite fo
' robable as from the Grand Signior) the Diffent-
:rs can with prudence and fafety offer the fame
Dlea ; except they fhall have made a previous ft>
Bulation with the invaders ? A nd whether the full
mreedom of their religion and trade, their lives,
properties, wives, and children, are not, and have
ot always been reckoned, iufficient motives for
(Spelling invafions ; efpecially in our fectaries, who
!all themfelves the trueft Proteftants, by virtue of
[heir pretended or real fiercenefs againft Popery ?
Whether omitting or neglecting to celebrate the
ay of the martyrdom of the bleffed K. Charles I.,
uoined by act of parliament, can be jultly reckon -
S 2 ett
208 QUERIES RELATING, &c.
ed a particular and difHnguifhing mark of good af-
fection to the prefent government.
Whether in thofe churches where the faid day h
obferved, it will fully anfwer the intent of the faic
act, if the preacher fhall commend, excufe, pal-
liate, or extenuate, the murder of that royal mar-
tyr ; and place the guilt of that horrid rebellion
with all its confequenccs, the following ufurpa-
tions, the entire deflruction of the church, the
cruel and continual perfecutions of thofe who coulc
be difcovered to profefs its doctrines, with the en
filing Babel of Fanaticifm, to the account of tha
blefTed King, who, by granting the petition o.
right, and palling every bill that could be aikecj
for the fecurity of the fubject, had, by the confef
fjon of thofe wicked men before the war began, lef
them nothing more to demand ?
Whether fuch a preacher as I have named
(whereof there have been more than one, not ma
ny years paft, even in the prefence of viceroys)
who takes that courfe as a means for promotion
may not be thought to ftep a little out of the com-
mon road in a monarchy where the defcendents
of that raoft blefTed martyr have reigned to this
day ?
I ground the reafon of making thefe queries on
the title of the act: ; to which I refer the reader.
REA-
C 209 ].
J2^&%**X$&^tt&^^>&*-
REASONS humbly offered to the Parlia-
ment of Ireland, for repealing the SA-
CRAMENTAL TEST, in favour of the
Catholics *.
"Written in the year 1732,.
[T is well known, that the firft conquerors of
■*■ this kingdom were Englifh Catholics, fubjedts to
i Englifh Catholic kings, from whom by their valour
I and fuccefs they obtained large portions of land,' ,
eiveo.
* In the years 1732 and 1733, an attempt was mace for repealing.
the te.t-acft in Ireland, introductory of a like a tempt in England. The
various arguments for it were anfwered in every (nape ; but no way
more effectually, than by examining what pretence the Presbyterians
bad to (hare in all the privileges of government, ti. her from their own
principles and behaviour, or compared with thofe of other feftaries.
Under the former head they weie fuily fiienced by our author, in
'* The PrefDyterians plea of merit impar laily examined" [above, p.
172]. They are now put in thw balance with Papifts, whom although,'
they have fometimes ityled their brethren in aaverdcy, yet, when
placed in competition, thiry will hate as brethren likew fe. But let
them here difpute the preference, and then put in their chim to be a
part of the enablifhment. Dub edit. 1735.
The author having before examined the Prefbyterians plea of me.
rit, with refpect to their ownprirciples and practices, has in this tract :
put them in t"e balance again ft Papifts. .
This ruct is written under the afiumed character of a Reman Ca-
thoH* \ by hich means the auhor attacks his adverfa'ries wiTh" a
great advantage. He freeiy acknowledges thefevera! atrocious crimes
of the Papifts; but at the fame time palliates- them ikilfully, that>'
from that ve-y acknowledgme t, he enables hirafelf to aim the hea-
vier blows at Prefbyteiiar.s A paragraph extracted f r< m the pam-
phlet, v. ill examplify my meaning. [Here the particular p-ifTage is
^uo;ed; beginning thus, '• "vYe allow the Catholics to be brethren o£
S 3 the
;
aio ROMAN CATHOLICS REASONS
given them as a reward for their many victories j
over the Irifh : to which merit our brethren the
dhTenters of any denomination whatfoever have
not the leaft pretenilons.
It is conferred, that the pofterity of thofe firft
victorious Catholics were often forced to rife in
their own defence againft new colonies from Eng-
land, who treated them like mere native lriih with
innumerable opprefiions, depriving them of their
lands, and driving them by force of arms into the
moft defolate parts of the kingdom ; till in the
next generation the children of thefe tyrants were
ufed in the fame manner by new Englilh adven-
turers, which practice continued for many centu-
ries. But it is agreed on all hands, that no infur-
recYions were ever made, except after great oppref-
lions by frefh invaders. Whereas all the rebellions
of Puritans, Prefbyterians, Independents, and o-
ther fectaries, conftantly began before any provoca-
tions were given, except that they were not fuffered
to change the government in church and ftate, and
feize both into their own hands ; which however
at laft they did with the murder of their king, and
of many thoufands of his beft fubjecls.
The Catholics were always defenders of monar-
chy, as conftituted in thefe kingdoms ; whereas
our brethren the DhTenters were always republicans
both in principle and practice.
It is well known, that all the Catholics of thefe
kingdoms, both priefts and laity, are true Whigs,
in the beft and moft proper fenfe of the word ;
bearing as well in their hearts, as in their outward
profemon, an entire loyalty to the Royal Houfe of
Hanover, in the perfon and pofterity of George II.
tlie DilTer.?ers,,, &e. p. 213. /. 36. ending p. 214 /. 23.]-The greateft
art, and the keen eft itrokes of irony, difplay themfelves throughout
the whole compofitio;* : and the conclufion of it is drawn up with a
mixture »f ferious and ironical arguments that feem to defy all kinds
of refutation. Crery, _
againft
FOR REPEALING THE TEST. 211
.inft the pretender and all his adherents. To
hich they think themfelves bound in gratitude as
ell as confcience, by the lenity wherewith they
.ve been treated fince the death of Queen Anne,
different from what they iufYered in the four Lift
ars of that princefs, during the adminiftration of
at wicked minifter the had of Oxford.
The Catholics of this kingdom humbly hope,
!t3t they have at leaft as fair a title as any of their
-other DhTenters to the appellation of Proteftants.
hey have always protefted againft the felling, de-
Toning, or murdering their" kings ; againft the
urpations and avarice of the court of Rome ;
;ainft Deinn, Atheifm, Socinianifm, Quakerifm,
uggletonianifm, Fanaticifm, Brownifm, as well
againft all Jews, Turks, Infidels, and Heretics.
Whereas the title of Proteftants aflumed by the
hole herd of DhTenters (except ourfelves) depend-
|h entirely upon their protefting againft archbi-
ops, bifhops, deans, and chapters, with their re-
:nues ; and the whole hierarchy ; which are the
17 expreffions ufed in the Solemn League and
tenant *, where the word Popery is only men-
)ned ad invidiam ; becaufe the Catholics agree
th the Epifcopal church in thofe fundamentats.
I Although the Catholics cannot deny, that in the
feat rebellion againft King Charles I. more foldi-
Is of their religion were in the parliament-army
Ian in his Majefty's troops ; and that many Jefuits
%.d Friers went about in the difguife of Prefbyte-
iin and Independent minifters to preach up rebel-
l»n, as the beft hiftorians of thofe times inform
* A folemn league and covenant entered into between the Scots
jl Engiifh fanatics in the rebellion againft King Charles I. 1643,
* which they folemnly engaged among other, things, « to endea-
'ar the extirpation of Prelacy, that is, church-government bv arch-
hop?, biiheps, deans, archdeans, and ail other £pifcop=l officers
tending on that hierarchy,"
us;
;
212 ROMAN CATHOLICS REASONS
us; yet the bulk of Catholics in both kingdouJ
prefer ved their loyalty entire.
The Catholics have fome reafon to think it alii
tie hard, when their enemies will not pleafe to c$
ltinguifh between the rebellious riot committed 1|
that brutal ruffian Sir Phelim O Neal, with his 1 1
multuous crew of rabble, and the forces raifed 2$
tervvards by the Catholic lords and gentlemen
the En glim pale in defence of the King, after t]
Englifli rebellion began. It is well known, th
his Majefty's affairs were in great diftraction for
time before, by an invafion of the covenantin
Scottilh, kirk rebels, and by the bafe terms t
King was forced to accept, that they might be ke<
in quiet at a juncture when he was every ho
threatened at home by that fanatic party, whii
foon after fet all in a flame. And if the Catho
army in Ireland fought for their King againft t
forces lent over by the parliament, then in acti
rebellion againft him, what perfon of loyal prin<
pies can be fo partial, to deny that they did th(
duty by joining with the Marquis of Ormond ai
other commanders, who bore their commiilio.
from the King ? for which great numbers of the
loft their lives, and forfeited their eftates ; a gre
part of the latter being now poffefTed by many d
fcendents from thofe very men, who had dram
their fwords in the fervice of that rebellious parities
merit which cut off his head, and deftroyed mi[r
narchy And what is more amazing, although tl
fame perfons, when the Irifh were entirely fubdue<iri
continued in power under the rump, were chiiim
confidents, and faithful fubjects to Cromwell, yiN
being wife encragh to forefee a reiteration, trier ;
feized the forts and caftles here out of the hanelp
of their old brethren in rebellion, for the fervic
of the King ; juft faving the tide, and putting in |
ftock of merit fufheient nor only to preferve th;
land which the Catholics loft by their loyalty, br
likewil
FOR REPEALING THE TEST. 2/3
kewife to preferve their civil and military employ-
lents, or be higher advanced.
Thofe infurre&ions wherewith the Catholics are
harged, from the beginning of the feventeenth
lentury to the great Englifh rebellion, were occa-
oned by many oppreflions they lay under. They
iad no intention to introduce a new religion, but
:j) enjoy the liberty of preferving the old ; the very
ame which their ancestors profeiied from the time
jiat Chriftianity was firft introduced into this
land, which was by Catholics ; but whether min-
ted with corruptions, as lome pretend, doth not
idong to the queftion. They had no defign to
iiange the government ; they never attempted
I) fight againft, to imprifon, to betray, to fell,
) bring to a trial, or to murder their king. The
pkifmatics acted by a fpirit directly contrary ;
ley united in a folemn league and covenant to al-
ir the whole fyftem of fpiritual government efta-
liilied in all Chriftian nations, and of apoftolic in-
jitution ; concluding the tragedy with the murder
the King in cold blood, and upon mature deli-
oration ; at the fame time changing the monarchy
kto a commonwealth.
The Catholics of Ireland, in the great rebellion,
j»ft their eftates for fighting in defence of their
ing. The fchiimatics, who cut off the father's
:ad, forced the fon to fly for his life, and over-
trned the whole ancient frame of government, re-
;ious and civil ; obtained grants of thofe very eftates
dch the Catholics loft in defence of the ancient
>nftitution, many of which eftates are at this day
ifleffed by the pofterity of thofe fchifmatics : and
Uus they gained by their rebellion, what the Ca-
lolics loft by their loyalty.
"We allow the Catholics to be brethren of the
liflenters ; fome people indeed (which we cannot
■low) would have them to be our children, becaufe
both diffent from the church eitabliihed, and
both
2i4 ROMAN CATHOLICS REASONS
both agree in abolifhing this perfecuting facramen
tal teft ; by which negative difcouragement we ar<
both rendered incapable of civil and military em
ployments. However we cannot but wonder at th
bold familiarity of thefe fchiimatics, in calling th
members of the national church their brethren an<
fellow Proteftants. It is true, that all thefe left
(except the Catholics) are brethren to each othe
in faction, ignorance, iniquity, perverfenefs, pride
and (if we except the Quakers) in rebellion. Bu
how the churchmen can be ftyled their fellow Pro
teftant, we cannot comprehend : becaufe, whei
the whole Babel of feclaries joined againit th
church, the King, and the nobility for twentyyear
in a match at foot-ball, where the proverl
exprefsly tells us, that all are fellows; while th
three kingdoms were tofTed to and fro, the church
es, and cities, and royal palaces mattered to piece
by their balls, their buffets, and their kicks ; th
victors would allow no more fellows at foot
ball ; but murdered, fequeftered, plundered, de
prived, banifhed to the plantations, or inflaved, al
their oppofers who had loft the game.
It is faid the world is governed by opinion ; anc
politicians aflure us, that all power is foundecl
thereupon. Wherefore, as all human creature;
are fond to diffraction of their own opinions, anc
fo much the more, as thofe opinions are abfurd.
ridiculous, or of little moment ; it muft follow,
that they are equally fond of power But no opi-
nions are maintained with fo much obftinacy as
thofe in religion, efpecially by fuch zealots, who
never bore the leaft regard to religion, confeience,
honour, juitice, truth, mercy, or common mora-
lity, farther than in outward appearance, under the
malk of hypocrify, to promote their diabolical de-
iigns. And therefore Bimop Burnet, one of their
oracles, tells us honeftly, that the faints of thofe fa-
natic times pronounced themfefves above morality;
which
:;
FOR REPEALING THE TEST. 215
ivhich they reckoned among beggarly elements ;
■>ut the meaning of the two iaft words thus ap-
plied we confers to be above ourunderitanding.
Among thole kingdoms and ftates which firft
embraced the reformation, England appears to have
•eceived it -in the moft regular way ; where it was
ntroduced in a peaceable manner, by the fupreme
>ower of a King * and the three eftates in parlia-
ment; to which, as the higheft legiflative authori-
ty, all fubjecls are bound paffively to fubmit. Nei-
her was there much biood-med on fo great a
mange of religion. Rut a coniiderable number of
Lords, and other perfons of quality through the
pngdom, ftill continued in their old faith, and
Icre, notwithftanding their difference in religion,
mployed in offices civil as well as military, more
>r lefs in every reign, until the teft-act in the time
>f King Charles II. However, from the time of
he reformation, the number of Catholics gradv.-
Lllv and confiderablv leficned. So that in the reisn
\ii King Charles I. England became in a great de-
cree a Proteftant kingdom, without taking the fec-
iaries into the number ; the legality whereof, with
fefpect to human laws, the Catholics never difput-
id ; but the Puritans, and other fchifmatics, with-
out the leaft pretence to any fuch authority, by an
bpen rebellion deftroyed that legal reformation, as
re obferved before, murdered their King, and
hanged the monarchy into a republic. It is there-
ore not to be wondered at, if the Catholics, in fuch
Babel of religions, chofe to adhere to their own
aith left them by their anceftors, rather than feek
or a better among a rabble of hypocritical, rebel-
ous, deluding knaves, or deluded enthufiafts.
We repeat once more, that if a national religion
e changed by the fupreme legiflative power, we
annot difpute the human legality of fuch a change.
* Henry VHI.
But
2 1 6 ROMAN CATHOLICS REASONS
But we humbly conceive, that if any conflderabl
party of men, which differs from an eftabliflimeD
either old or new, can deferve liberty of confciena
it ought to coniift of thofe who for want of con
viction, or of right understanding of the merits o
eachc mfe, conceive themfelves bound in conicienc
to adhere to the religion of their anceftoi s ; becaui
they are of all othf rs the leaft likely to be author
of innovations, either in church or ftate.
On the other fide, if the reformation of religio:
be founded upon rebellion againft the king, with
out whofe confent, by the nature of our conftitu
tion, no law can pafs ; if this reformation be in
troduced by only one of the three eftates, I mea:
the commons, and not by one half even of thoi
commons, and this by the affiTtance of a rebellion
army ; again, if this reformation were carried o
by the excluiion of nobles, both lay and fpiritua!
(who conftitute the other part of the three eftates)
by the murder of their King, and by the aboliih
ing the whole fyitem of government ; the Catholic
cannot fee why the fucceftbrs of thofe fchifmatics
v ho are univerfally accufed by all parties excep
themfelves, and a few infamous abettors, for flil
retaining the fame principles in religion and go
vernment, under which their predecefTors acted. |L
ihould pretend to a better ihare of civil or military [j
truft, proiit, and power, than the Catholics, who,|f
during all that period of twenty years, were conti
Dually perfecuted with the utmoif feverity, merely
on account of their loyalty and conftant adherence
to kingly power.
We now come to thofe arguments for repealing
the facramental teft, which equally affect the Ca-
tholics, and their brethren the DirTenters.
Fir/i, We agree with our fellow-diiTenters, that *
" perfecution merely for confcience-fake is againit
Fid, Reafons for the repeal of the facramental tefh
" the
FOR REPEALING THE TEST. 217
•' the genius of the gofpel." And fo likewife is
: any law for depriving men of their natural and
civil rights, which they claim as men." We are
Ifo ready enough to allow, that <c the fmalleft ne-
gative difcouragements for uniformity's lake are
: fo many persecutions." Becaufe it cannot be de-
'ied, that the fcratch of a pin is in fome degree a
:al wound, as much as a ftib through the heart.
1 like manner, an incapacity by law for any man
1 be made a judge, 'a colonel, or julHce of the
:ace. " merely on a point of confcience, is a ne-
gative difcouragement," and confequently, a real
Irfecution : for in this cafe, the author of the
fimphlet quoted in the * margin puts a very perti-
j-nr and powerful queftion : " If God be the fole
I Lord of the confcience, why mould the rights
J of confcience be fubjedt to human jurifdiclion ?"
low to apply this to the Catholics : the belief of
fcnfubftantiation " is a matter purely of religion
land confcience, which doth not affect the politi-
Ical intereft of fociety, as fuch : therefore, why
Ifhould the rights of confcience, whereof God is
I the fole Lord, be fubjedt to human jurifdiction ?
'And vrhy mould God be deprived of this right over
Catholic's confcience, any more than over that of
ay other Diflenter.
lAnd whereas another author among our brethren
te DifTenters hath very juitly complained, that by
Ms perfecuting teft-act great numbers of true Pro-
ttants have been forced to leave the kingdom and
I to the plantations, rather than ftay here branded
l*.h an incapacity for civil and military cmploy-
nnts ; we do affirm, that the Catholics can bring
nnv more inftances of the fame kind ;' fome thou-
r ' ... .
fi ds of their religion having been forced by the fa-
c: mental teft to retire into other countries, rather
tl n live here under the incapacity of wearing
Vtd. Rpfon? for the repeal of the i^cramentai U-ft.
^gl.IV. T fwordsj
I
2i8 ROMAN CATHOLIC REASONS
fwords, fitting in parliament, and getting that fha
of power and profit which belong to them as fi
low Chriitians, whereof they are deprived mere
upon account of confeience, which would not ;
low them to take the facrament after the mann
prefcribed in the liturgy. Hence it clearly follov
in the ords o'i the fame author -\, That " if ]
v' Catholics are incapable of employments, we a
*< punifhed for our dilTent ; that is, for our conf
" ence, which wholly turns upon political con
4< derations."
The .Catholics are willing to acknowledge t
King's fupremacy, whenever their brethren t
Diffenters fliall pleafe to fhew them an example.
Further, the Catholics, whenever their religi
fhall come to be the national eltabliihed faith, ;
willing to undergo the fame teft offered by the i
thor already quoted. His words are thefe : "Toe
4i this debate, by putting it upon a foot which I he
ts will appear -to every impartial perfon a fair a
equitatble one.: we Catholics propofe, with fi
minion to the proper judges, that effectual fecu
ty be taken againft perfecution, by obliging
(i who are admitted into places of power and tru
•' whatever their religious . profeflion be, in t
*- moil: folemn manner to difclaim perfecuti
*■ principles." It is hoped the public will take r
lice of thefe words; " whatever their religic
<{ profeflion be;" which plainly include the (
tholics ; and for which we return thanks to our.jd
fentlng brethren.
And whereas it is objected by thofe of the efi
bliihed church, that if the fchifmatics and fanat
were once put into a capacity of poiTeffing civil ai
military employments, they would never be at ea
till they had; railed their own way of worihip in
the national religion through all his MaienVs don
iiions, equal with the true orthodox Scottilh kir)
\ See Reafcns againft the teft.
wlii<
. *
a
I
f(
a
"i
I
.:
A
:
FOR REPEALING THE TEST. 21 gr
hich when they had once brought to par?, they*
ould no more allow liberty of conicience to Epit-
u>pal diffenters, than they did in the time cf the
|*eat Englifh rebellion, and in the fncceeding fa-
bric anarchy, till the King was reftored. There
I another very learned ichiiniatical pamphleteeer*,
no, in aniwer to a malignant libel, called, The
yesbyier'wns plea of merit, &c. clearly wipes off''
lis afperiion, by alluring all Epifcopal Proteitants*
« the prelent church upon his own word, and to his
Itrn knowledge, that our brethren the DiiTenters
nil never offer at fuch an attempt. In like man-
Ir the Catholics, when legally required, will openly
jiclare upon their words and honours, that as foon
their negative difcouragements and their perfe-
tion ihali-be removed by repealing the facramen-
: teft, they will leave it entirely to the merits of
je caufe, whether the kingdom mall think fit to-
like their faith the eftablifhed religion or not.
And again, whereas our Presbyterian brethren-
Jmany of their pamphlets take much offence, that
Is great rebellion in England, tire murder of the
lng, with the entire change of religion and go-
mmem, are perpetually objected againft them both -
and out of ieafon, by our common enemy the
:ient Conformifts ; we do declare, in the defence
our faid brethren, that the repioach- aforetaid
m eld ujsrn-out tlrt-eadbdre cunt, whk h they alwavs'
iained to aniwer : and F very well remember,
it having once told a certain Conformift, how
ich I wondered to hear him and his tribe dwel-
perpetually on lo beaten a fubject ; he was plea-
•to divert the difcourfe withafoolifh ftory, which
mnot forbear telling to his difgrace. He laid-
J-re was a clergyman in Yorkihhe, who for fif-
■n years together preached evcrv Sundav aeainfV
minkennels : whereat the parifhioners being much
Vindication cf the Proteftart D (Tenters.
T-2 offended,
.:
zao ROMAN CATHOLICS REASONS
offended, complained to the Archbiihop ; who ha
ving feat for the clergyman, and feverely repri
manded him, theminifter had no better an anfwer
than by conferring the fact; adding, that all thp
parifh were drunkards ; that he defired to reclain
them from one vice, before he would begin upoi
another: and fine e they itill continued to be a
>?reat drunkards as before, he refolved to go on
except his Grace would pleafe to forbid him.
We are very fenfible how heavy an accufatio:
lieth upon the Catholics of Ireland ; that fome year
before King Charles II. was reftored, when theii
and the King's forces we: e entirely reduced, and th
kingdom declared by the Rump to be fettled ; afte
all his Majefty's generals were forced to fly t
France, or other countries, the heads of the lai
Catholics who remained here in an enflaved cond
tion, joined to fend an invitation to the Duke c
Lorrain ; engaging, upon his appearing here wit
his forces, to deliver up the whole ifland to h
powrer, and declare him their fovereign ; which a:
tej? the restoration was proved againft them byDea
Boyle, lince Primate, who produced the very or:
ginal inftrument at the board. The Catholics freel
acknowledge the facl to be true : and at the fam
time appeal to all the world, whether a wifer,
better, a more honourable, or more juftifiable pro
ject could have been thought of. They were then re
duced to flavery and beggary by the Englifh rebels
many thoufands of them murdered, the reft de
prived of their eftates, and driven to live on a final
pittance in the wilds of Connaught ; at a time whei
either the Rump or Cromwell abfohitely govern
ed the three kingdoms. And the queftion wil
turn upon this, whether the Catholics, deprived o
all their polTeffions, governed with a rod of hon|(
and in utter defpair of ever feeing the monarch]
reftored, for the prefervation of which they ha(
faffered fo much, were to be blamed for calling ir
i
I
j
FOR REPEALING THE TEST. 221
foreign prince of their own religion, who had a
milder able army to fupport them, rather than,
bmit to fo infamous an ufurper as Cromwell, or
eh a bloody and ignominious conventicle as the
ump ? And [ have often heard not only our friends
e Diffenters, but even our common enemy the
onformifts, who arc converfant in the hiitory of
ofe times, freely confefs, that, considering the
iferable lituation the Iriih were then in, they could
)t have thought of a braver or more virtuous at-
tnpt ; by which they might have been inftruments of
ftoring the lawful monarch, at lealt to the reco-
ry of England and Scotland, from thofe betray -
, and fellers, and murderers of his royal fa- -
t.
To conclude, whereas the laft-quoted author
mplains very heavily and frequently of a brand
it lies upon them, it is a great miirake : for the
■t original brand hath been long taken off; on-
■we confefs the fear will probably remain, and be
Kble for ever to thole who know the principles by
»ich they acted, and until thole principles fliall
b openly renounced ; elfe it muft continue to all
merations, like the mark fet upon Cain, which
rnit authors fay defcended to all his pofterity ; or
Me the Roman nofe and Aufbian lip, or like the
■g bag of fiefh hanging down from the gills of the
■pple in Piedmont. HBut as for any brands fixed
«khiimatics for feveral years part, they have been
■made with cold Iron' like thieves who by the
foefit of the clergy are condemned to be only burned
irhe hand ; but efcape the pain and the mai k by be-
M in fee with the jailor. Which advantage the
fcifmatical teachers will never want, who, as wc
■■allured, and of which there is a very frefh in-
wce, have the fouls, and bodies, and p-1 f.:s of
tftr people a hundred times more at their mercy,
tha she Catholic priefts> could ever pretend to.
T 3 Therefore,
222 ROMAN CATHOLICS REASONS, &c.
Therefore, upon the whole, the Catholics d
humbly petition (without the leaft infinuation c
threatening), that upon this favourable junctur
their incapacity for civil and military employment
may be wholly taken off, for the very fame reafor
(befldes others more cogent) that are now offere
by their brethren the Diffenters.
And your petitioners, as in duty bound, lha
ever pray, &c
Dublin, Nov. 1733*
In this controverfy the author was again victorious, for the t<
v/as not repealed,
•§»
'*£>
Sora
c
223
]
dWfe ^)te^%W&l£%%«^&Mz&
Some REASONS againft the RILL for
fettling the tithe of Hemp, Flax, &c.
by a modus *.
HE clergy did little expect to have any caufe
of complaint againft the prefent houfe of
Commons ; who in the laft feffions were pleafed to
[hrow out a bill \ fent them from the Lords, which
hat Reverend body apprehended would be very in-
urious to them, if it paiTed into a law ; and who
In the prefent feflions defeated the arts and endea-
vours of fchifmatics to repeal th : facramental teft.
For although it hath been allowed on all hands,
Ihat the former of thofe bills might by its necefTary
kmfequences be very difplealing to the lay gentle-
men of the kingdom for many reafons purely fecu-
lar ; and that this laft attempt for repealing the teft
[lid much more afFe<ft at prefent the temporal inter-
1, than the fpiritual ; yet the whole body of the
>wer clergy have, upon both thofe occafions, ex-
Ted equal gratitude to that honourable houfe for
teir juftice and fteadinefs, as if the clergy alone
rere to receive the benefit.
* Many eminent clergymen who oppofed this fcheme applied to
>r. Swift to write againft it, which he readily confented to upon
heir giving him fom.- hints ; and two days after, the following rea-
>ns were prefented to feveral members of parliamentt which had fo
Bood an effect that the bill was dropped.
This pamphlet is entirely adapted te the clergy of Ireland. But I
innot avoid obferving in it, a greater fund of cal'mnefs, not a lefs de-
fee of fpirit, than in many other of Swift's political writings. Or-
f For the bifhops to divide livings,
It
224 REASONS AGAINST SETTLING
It muft needs be therefore a great addition to the
clergy's grief, that fuch an affembly as the prefent
houfe of Commons fhould now, with an expedi-
tion more than ufual, agree to a bill for encouraging
the linen manufacture with a claufe, whereby the
church is to lofe two parts in three of the legal
tithe in flax and Kemp.
Some reafbns why the clergy think fuch a law
will be a great hardship upon them are, I conceive,
thofe that follow. I fhall venture to enumerate
them with all deference due to that honourable
airembly.
Fir ft r the clergy fappofe that they have not, by
any fault or demerit, incurred the difpleaiure of
the nation's reprefentatives ; neither can the declar-
ed loyalty of the prefent fet, from the higheft pre-
late to the loweiV vicar, be in the lead difputed ;
becaufe there are hardly ten clergymen through
the whole kingdom, for more than nineteen years
pair, who have not been either preferred entirely
upon account of their declared affection to the Ha-
nover line, or higher promoted as the due reward
of the fame merit.
There is not a landlord in the whole kingdom
rending fo me part of the year at his country-feat,,
who is not in his own confcience fully convinced
that the tithes of his minifter have gradually funk
for fome years pait one third, or at leaft one fourth
of their former value, exclufive of all non-fol*
vencies.
The payment of tithes in this kingdom is fubject
to fo many frauds, brangles, and other difficulties,
not only from Papifts and Diffenters, but even
from thofe who profefs themfelves Proteftants, that
by the expenfe, the trouble, and vexation of col-
lecting or bargaining for them, they are of all o-
ther rents the moft precarious, uncertain, and ill
paid.
The
THE TITHE OF HEMP. 2,25
The landlords in moll parishes expect, as a com-
pliment, that they fhould pay little more than half
the valne of the tithes for the lands they hold in
their own hands ; which often confift of large do-
mains : and it is the minifter's intereft to make
them eafy upon that article, when he coniiders
what influence thoie gentlemen have upon their
tenants.
The clergy cannot but think it extremely fevere,
that, in a bill for encouraging the linen manufac-
ture they alone muft be the fufferers.' who can
leaft afford it. If, as I am told, there be a tax of
three thoufand pounds a-year paid by the public
for a farther encouragement to the faid manufac-
ture, are not the clergy equal fharers in the chirge
with the reft of their feiiow-lubjects ? what fatif-
Ifaclory reafon can be therefore given why they alone
mould bear the whole additional weight, unleis it will
be alledged that their property is not upon an equal
foot with the properties of other men. They ac-
quire their own finall pittance by at leaft as honeft
means as their neighbours the landlords poflefs
their eftates ; and have been always fuppofed, ex-
cept in rebellious or fanatical times, to have as good
a title ; for no families now in being can fhew a
more ancient. Indeed, if it be true that fome
perfors (I hope they were not many) were feen to
augh when the rights of the clergy were men-
rioned ; in this cafe an opinion may poffibly be
oon advanced, that they have no rights at all.
And this is likely enough to gain ground, in pro-
portion as the contempt of all religion fhall in-
:reafe, which is already in a very forward way.
It is faid, there will be alfo added in this bill a
:laufe for diminifhing the tithe of hops, in order to
ultivate that ufeful plant among us; and here like-
wife the load is to lie entirely on the fhoulders of
:he clergy, while the landlords reap all the benefit.
t will not be eafy to forefee where ilich, proceedings
are
226 REASONS AGAINST SETTLING
are like to flop : or whether by the fame authority,
in civil times, a parliament may not as juftly chal-
lenge the fame power in reducing all things tithe-!
able, not below the tenth part of the product- )whicb
is and ever will be the clergy's equitable right) but
from a tenth part to a fixtieth or eightieth, ane
from thence to nothing.
I have heard it granted by lkilful perfons, thai
the practice of taxing the clergy by parliamem
without their own confent is a new thing, noi
much above the date of feventy years : befon
which period, in times of peace, they always taxec
themfelves. But things are extremely altered a
prefent ; it is not now fufficient to tax them ii
common with their feUow-fiibjects, without ins
pofing an additional tax upon them, fron
which, or from any thing equivalent, all theii
fellovv-fubjects are exempt ; and this in a country
pro fe fling Christianity.
The greateft part of the clergy throughout th.ii
kingdom have been ftripped of their glebes by th«
confufion of times, by violence, fraud, oppreflion
and other unlawful means; all which glebes an
now in the hands of the laity. So that they nov
are generally forced to lie at the mercy of land
lords for a fmall piece of ground in their parifhes
at a moft exorbitant rent, and ufually for a fhor
term of years, whereon to build a houfe, and en
able them to reiide. Yet, in fpit~ of thefe difad
vantages, I am a witnefs, that they are generall)
more conftant refidents than their brethren in Eng
land; where the meaner!: vicar hath a convenieni
dwelling with a barn, a garden, and a field or twe
for his cattle ; beiides the certainty of his little in
come from honeft farmers, able and willing noi
only to pay him his dues, but likewife to mak<
him prefents according to their ability for his bet
tcr fupport. In all which circumftances the cler
g!
THE TITHE OF HEMP. 227
gy of Ireland meet with a treatment directly con-
trary.
It is hoped the Honourable houfe will confider,
that it is impofiible for the mod: ill-minded, avari-
cious, or cunning clergyman to do the leail injuf-
tice to the meaneft cottager in his parifh, in any
bargain for tithes, or other ecclefiaftical dues. He
can, at the utmoft, only demand to have his tithe
fairly laid out ; and does not once in a hundred
times obtain his demand. But every tenant, from
the pooreft cottager to the moft fubitantial farmer,
can and generally doth impoie upon the minifter, by
fraud, by theft, by lies, by perjuries, by infolence,
and Sometimes by force ; notwithstanding the ut-
moft vigilance and Ikill of himfelf and his proctor,
Infomuch that it is allowed that the clergy in ge-
neral receive little more than one half of their le-
gal dues ; not including the -charges they are at in
collecting or bargaining for them.
The land-rents of Ireland are computed to about
two millions, whereof one tenth amounts to two
j hundred thoufand pounds. The beneficed clergy-
men, excluding thofe of this city, are not rec-kon-
• ed to be above five hundred ; by which com-
putation they mould, each of them poffefs two hun-
'dred pounds a-year, if thofe tithes were equally
divided, although in well-cultivated corn -countries
. it ought to be more ; whereas they hardly receive
I one half of that Sum, with great defalcations, and
• in very bad payments. There are indeed a few
glebes in the north pretty considerable ; but if
theSe and all the reft were in like manner equally
divided, they would not add five pounds a-year to
every clergyman. Therefore, whether the condi-
tion of the clergy in general among us be juftly li-
able to envy, or able to bear a heavy burden, which
neither the nobility nor gentry, nor tradefmen,
nor farmers, will touch with one of their fingers ;
'this, I fav, is Submitted to the Honourable houfe.
One
y.
2a8 REASONS AGAINST SETTLING
One terrible cirumftance in this bill is, that d
turning the tithe of flax and hemp into what tin
lawyers call a modusy or a certain fum in lieu of ;
tenth part of the product. And by this practia
-of claiming a modus in many parifh.es by ancien
cuftom, the clergy in both kingdoms have been al
moil: incredible (offerers. Thus, in the prefen
cafe, the tithe of a tolerable acre of flax, which b1
a medium is worth twelve millings, is by the pre
fent bill reduced to four (hillings. Neither is thi
the worft part in a modus ; every determinate fan
muft, in procefs of time link from a fourth to :
four and twentieth part, or a great deal lower
by that neceflary fall attending the value of money
which is now at leaft nine tenths lower all ove
Europe than it was four hundred years ago, by
gradual decline; and even a third part at leaf
within our own memories in purchafing aim oft e
very thing required for the necefrities or conveni
encies of life : as any gentleman can atteft, wh<
hath kept houfefor twenty years pair. And this wil
equally affect poor countries as well as rich. For
although I look upon it as an impoflibilitythat thi
kingdom fhould ever thrive under its prefent dif
advantages, which without a miracle muft ftill in
creafe ; yet, when the whole carh of the natioi
fhall fink to fifty thoufand pounds, we muft in al
our traffic abroad either of import or export go b]
the genera] rate, at which money is valued in thof<
countries that enjoy the common privileges of hu
mankind. For this reafon no corporation (if th<
clergy may prefume to call themfelves one) fhouk
by any means grant away their properties in per
petuity upon any confederation whatfoever ; whicr
is a rock that many corporations have fplit upon tc
their great impoveriftiment, and fometimes to theii
utter undoing : becaufe they are fuppofed to lubml
for ever, and becaufe no determination of moneyp
is of any certain perpetual iiurinflc value. This if
known
!?'
X
THE TITHE OF HEMP. 229
mown enough in England, where eftates let for
ver, lome hundred years ago, by feveral ancient
loble families, do not at this prefent pay their
»ofterity a twentieth part of what they are now
rorth at an eafy rent.
A tax affecting one part of a nation, which al-
,eady bears its full fhare in all parliamentary impo-
tions, cannot poffibly be juft, except it be inflict-
d as a punifhment upon that body of men, which
; taxed for fome great demerit or danger to the
ublic, apprehended from thofe upon whom it is
lid : thus the Papifls and Nonjurors have been
oubiy taxed, for refuling to give proper fecurkies
) the government ; which cannot be objected a-
jainft the clergy. And therefore if this bill fhould
|ais, I think it ought to be with a preface, fhewing
iherein they have offended, and for what difaffec-
lon or other crime they are punifhed.
If an additional excife upon ale, or a duty upon
efli and bread were to be enacted, neither the vic-
lialler, butcher, or baker, would bear any more
|f the charge than for what themfelves con fumed,
Jt it would be an equal general tax through the
hole kingdom : whereas by this bill the clergy a-
•ne are avowedly condemned to be deprived of
lieir ancient, inherent, undifputed rights, in order
I encourage a manufacture by which all the reft of
^e kingdom are fuppoied to be gainers.
This bill is directly againft magna charta, where-
the firft claufe is for confirming ihe inviolable
hts of holy church ; as well as contrary to the
th taken by all our kings at their coronation,
tere they fwear to defend and protect the church
all rights.
1 A tax laid upon employment is a very different
:ng. The poffeffors of civil and military employ-
:nts are no corporation ; neither are 'they any
rt of our conftitution ; their falaries, pay, and
rquifues are all changeable at the pleafure of the
Vol. IV. U prir^e
l3o REASONS AGAINST SETTLING
prince who beftows them, although the army b
paid from funds raifed and appropriated by the le
giflature. But the clergy, as they have little rea
ion to expect, fo they defire no more than thei
ancient legal dues ; only indeed with the remova
of many grievous impediments in the collection o
them ; which is to be feared they muft wait fo
until more favourable times. It is well known
that they have already, of their own accord, ihew:
great indulgence to their people upon this very ai
tide of flax, feldom taking above a fourth part c
their tithe for fmall parcels, and oftentimes nothin
at all from new beginners ; waiting with patience ur
til the farmers were able, and until .great. quantitie
of land were employed in that pait of huhbandry
never fufpecting that their good intentions lhoul
be perverted in fo lingular a manner to their detr
ment, by that very afTembly which, during the tim
that convocations (which are an original part c
our constitution, ever iince Chriftianity became m
tional among us) are thought fit to be fufpendec
God knows for wiiat reafon, or from what prove
cations ; I fay, from that very afTembly, who, dui
ing the intervals of convocations, mould rather b
fuppofed to be guardians of the rights and propei
ties of the clergy, than to make the leaft attemj
•upon either.
I have not heard upon inquiry, that any of thoi
gentlemen who among us without doors are calle
me court party, difcover the leaft zeal in this afrai)
If they had thoughts to interpofe, it might be cor
ceived they would fhew their difpleafure againft thi
bill, which muft very much leffen the value of th
King's patronage upon promotion to vacant fee*
in the difpofal of denearies, and other confiderabl
preferments in the church, which are in the dona
rion of the crown ; whereby the viceroys will hav
fewer good preferments to beftow on their de
pendents, as well as upon the kindred of members;
wfy
L
:
I
THE TITHE GF HEMP.
231
who may have a fufrlcient ftock of that fort of me-
rit, whatever it may be, which may in future times
moft prevail. •
The DhTenters, bynotfucceeding in their endea-
vours to procure a repeal of the teft, have loft no-
thing, but continue in a full enjoyment of their
toleration ; while the clergy, without giving the
leaft offence, are by this bill deprived of a consi-
derable branch of their ancient legal rights, where-
by the fchifmatical party will have the pleafure of
gratifying their revenge hoc Grati'i voluere.
The farmer will find no relief by this ?ncdus^ be-
fcaufe when his prefent leafe mall expire, his land-
lord will infallibly raife the rent in an equal pro-
portion, upon^ every part of land where flax is
Town, and have fo much a better fecurity for pay-
lent at the expenfe of the clergy.
If we judge by things paft, it little avails that
lis bill is to be limited to a certain time of ten,
renty, or thirty years. For no landlord will ever
:onfent that a law fhall exphe, by which he finds
timfelf a gainer y and of th;s there are many ex-
tmples as well in England as in this kingdom.
The great end of this bill is, by proper encou-
igement to extend the linen manufacture into
'hole countries where it hath hitherto been little
cultivated : but this encouragement of lefTening the
ithe of flax and hemp, is one of fuch a kind as.,
t is to be feared, will have a directly contrary ef-
ect. Beeaufe, if I am rightly informed, no let of
ten hath, for their number and fortunes, been
lore induftrious and iuccefsful than the clergy, in
Producing that manufacture into places which
rere unacquainted with it, by perfuading their peo-
ple to ibw flax and hemp, by procuring feed
>r them, and by having them inftructcd in the
lanagement thereof ; and this they did not with-
)ut reafonable hopes of increasing the value
»f their parifhes after fome time, as well as of
U 2 pro
232 REASONS AGAINST SETTLING
promoting the benefit of the public. But if this
modus fhould take place, the clergy will be fo fa]
from gaining, that they will become lofers by theu
extraordinary care, by having their arable land:
turned to flax and hemp, which are reckoned g#ea
impoveriihers of land : they cannot therefore b<
blamed, if they ihould /hew as much zeal to pre
vent its being introduced or improved in their pa
rifhes, as they hitherto have mewed in the intro
Uucing and improving it. This* I am told, form
of them have already declared, at leaft fo far as t<
vefolve not to give themfeives any more troubl
than other men, about promoting a manufacluri
by the fuccefs of which they only, of all men, ar>
to be the fufferers. Perhaps the giving even a far
ther encouragement than the law doth, as it no\
ftands, to a fet of men who might,, on many ac
counts, be foufefulto this purpofe, would be no ba(
method of having the great end of the bill mor<
errectually anfwered : but this is what they are fa:
from de firing ; all they petition for is no more thai
to continue on the fame footing with the reft o
the ir f ellow-fubj ec~ts .
If this modus of paying by the acre be to pafs in
to a law, it were to be wifhed, that the fame law
would not only appoint one or more fworn furvey
ors in each parifh, to meafure the lands on whicl
flax and hemp are fown, but alfo fettle the price o;
furveying, and determine whether the incumbent oi
farmer is to pay for each annual furvey. Without
fomething of this kind, there muft conftantly b<
clifputes between them, and the neighbouring jufti-
ces of peace muft be teized as often as thole dif
putes happen.
I had written thus far, when a paper was fent
to me with feveral reafons againft the bill, fomc
whereof, although they have been already touched,
are put in a better light, and the reft did not occur
to
/
THE TITHE OF HEMP. 233
to mc. I (hall deliver them in the author's own
words.
I. That tithes are the patrimony of the church ;
and if not of divine original, yet at kail of great
, antiquity.
II. That all purchafes and leafes of tithable lands,
for many centuries pair, have been made and ta-
ken, fubject to the demand of tithes, and thofe
lands fold and taken juft fo much the cheaper on
that account.
III. That if any lands are exempted from tithes,
||or the legal demands of fuch tithes leiTened by act
lof parliament, fo much value is taken from the
■(proprietor of the tithes, and veiled in the proprie-
tor of the lands, or his head tenants.
IV. That no innocent unoffending perfon can be
Ifo deprived of his property, without the greateft
I '-violation of common juftice.
V. That to do this upon a profpect of encou-
jjraging the linen or any other manufacture, is act-
ling upon a very miftaken and unjuft fuppofition ;
linafmuch as the price of the lands lo occupied
■will be no way leiTened to the farmer by fuch a
yaw.
VI. That the clergy are content chearfully to
ar (as they do now) any burthen in common with
_eir feliow-fubjects, either for the fupport of his
[ajefty's government, or the encouragement of
:he trade of the nation ; but think it very hard
hat they ihould be fingled out to pay heavier
axes than others, at a time when, by the decreafe
if the value of their parifhes, they are lefs able 10
>ear them.
VII. That the legiilature hath therefore diltin-
,uiihed the clergy by exemptions, and not by addi-
ional loads ; and the prefent clergy of the kingdom
lope, they have not deferved woVfe of the kgiila-
ature than their predeceiTors..
U 3 VIII,
234 REASONS AGAINST SETTLING
VIII. That, by the original conftitution of thefe
kingdoms, the clergy had the ible right of taxing;
themfelves, and were in pofTerlion of that right as
low as the restoration ; and if that right be now
devolved upon the Commons by the ceffion of the
clergy, the Commons can be considered in this
cafe in no other light than as the guardians of the
clergy.
IX. That befides thofe tithes always in the pof
feSIion of the clergy, there are fome portions oJ
tithes lately come into their poSTeSIion by purchafe : f
that if this claufe Should take place, they would
not be allowed the benefit of thefe purchafers upor
an equal foot of advantage with the reft of then
fellow-fubjects. And that fome tithes in the hand;
of improprietors are under fettlements and mort-
gages.
:
X. That the gentlemen of this houfe fliould con-
iider, that loading the clergy is loading their owr
younger brothers and children, with this addition-
al grievance, that it is taking from the younger and
poorer to give to the elder and richer ; and.
Lajlly, That if it were at any time juft and pro-
per to do this, it would however be too fevere tc
do it now, when all the tithes of the kingdom are
known for fome years paft to have funk above one
third part in their value.
Any income in the hands of the clergy is at leaf!
as uSeful to the public as the fame income in the
hands of the laity.
It were more reafonable to grant the clergy in
three parts of the nation an additional fuppcrt than
to diminim their prefent fubfiftence.
Great employments are and will be in the hands
of Englishmen ; nothing left for the younger fonsjtc;
of Irilhmen but vicarages, tide-waiters places, &c.
therefore no reafon to make them worfe.
The modus upon the flax in England affects on-
ly lands reclaimed fince the year 1690, and is at
the
I!
THE TITHE OF HEMP. 23;
:he rate of five fhillings the Englifh acre, which is
equivalent to eight millings and eight pence Irifh>
md that to be paid before the farmer removed it
from the held. Flax is a manufacture of little con-
equence in England, but is the ftaple in Ireland,
md if it increafes, (as it probably will), muft in
nanv places joflle out corn, becaufe it is more gain-
M.
The clergy of the eftabliflied church have no in«
nterefr, like thofe of the church of Rome, diftinct
rom the true interelt of their country, and there-
ore ought to fufrer under no diltinct impoiitions
>r taxes of any kind.
The bill for fettling the modus of flax in England
vas brought in the firft year of the reign of K. George
. when the clergy lay very unjuftly under the im-
mtation of fome diiaffec'tion ; and to encourage
he bringing in of fome fens in Lincolnshire which
ivere not o be continued under flax ; but it left all
ands where flax had been fown before that time
under the fame condition of tithing, in which they
vere before the pafling of that bill : whereas this
will takes away what the clergy are actually DorTefT-
>d of.
That the woollen manufacture is the ftaple of
fengland, as the linen is that of Ireland, yet no at-
[empt was ever made in England to reduce the
jithe of wool for the encouragement of that manu-
facture This manufacture hath already been re-
markably favoured by the clergy, who have hither-
to been generally content with iefs than half, fome
pith fix-pence a-garden, and fome have taken no-
ting.
Employments, they fay, have been taxed ; the
Ireafons for which taxations will not hold with re-
gard to property, at lead till employments become
inheritances. The Commons always have had fo
tender
236 REASONS AGAINST, &t.
tender a regard to property, that they never woul
fuffer any Jaw to pafs, whereby any particula
perfons might be aggrieved without their own con
fent.
N, B. Some alterations have been made in th
bill about the modus, flnce the above pape
was written ; but they are of little mo
ment..
C 237- j
•:VVi' ;•-' V- to '& to •*-' to ♦*- to & **- "«!• ♦** ♦'♦ - - •? # •& to
A modeft PROPOSAL for preventing the
Children of poor People in Ireland
from being a Burden to their Parents or
Country, and for making them beneficial
to the Public.
TT is a melancholy object to thofe who walk throJ
■*■ this great town, or travel in the country, when
they fee the ftrects, the roads, and cabin-doors
crouded with beggars of the female lex, followed
by three, four, or iix children, all in rags, and
importuning every paffenger for an alms. Thefe
mothers, inftead of being able to work for their
honeft livelihood, are forced to employ all their
time in (trolling to beg fuftenance for their helplefs
infants, who, as they grow up, either turn thieves
for want of work, or leave their dear native coun-
try to right for the pretender in Spain, or fell them-
feives to Barbados s.
I think it is agreed by all parties, that this prodi-
gious number of children in the arms, or on the
(backs, or at the heels of their mothers, and fre-
quently of their fathers, is, in the prefent deplorable
ftate of the kingdom, a very great additional griev-
ance ; and therefore, whoever could find out a fair,
cheap, and eafy method of making thefe children
found and ufeful members of the commonwealth,
iwould deferve fo well of the public, as to have his
ftatue let up for a preferver of the nation.
But my intention is very far from being confined
to provide only for the children of profeflcd beg-
gars ; it is of a much greater extent, and lhall take
in
238 A MODEST PROPOSAL
in the whole number of infants at a certain age
who are born of parents in effect as little able t<
iupport them, as thofe who demand our charh;
in the ftreets.
As to my own part, having turned my thought
for many years upon this important fubjecl:, an<
maturely weighed the feveral fchemes of our pro
jectors, I have always found them grofsly miftakei
in their computation. It is true, a child juft drop
from its dam may be fupported by her milk for !
folar year, with little other nourishment : at moi
not above the value of two millings, which th
mother may certainly get, or the value in fc raps
by her lawful occupation of begging ; and it is ex
actly at one year old that I propofe to provide for then
iflfi cha manner, as inftead of being a charge upoi
their parents, or the parifh,or wanting food and rai
ment for the reft of their lives, they fhall, on th
contrary, contribute to the feeding, and partly t<
the cloathing of many thoufands.
There is like wife another great advantage in rm
fcheme, that it will prevent thofe voluntary abor
tions, and that horrid practice of women murder
ing their baftard-children, alas ! too frequent a-
mong us, facrificing the poor innocent babes, 1
doubt more to avoid the expenfe than the mame;
whi< h would move tears and pity in the molt favagc
and inhuman breaft.
The number of fouls in this kingdom being u*i
fually reckoned one million and a half, of thefe I
calculate there may be about two hundred thoufand
couple, whole wives are breeders; from which
number I Subtract thirty thoufand couple, who arc
able to maintain their own children, (although I
apprehend there cannot be fo many under the pre-
fent diitreffes of the kingdom) ; but this being
granted, there will remain an hundred and feventy
thoufand breeders. I can again Subtract fifty thou>
fand for thole women who mifcarry, or whofe
children
TO THE PUBLIC. 239
hildrcn die by accident or difeafe within the year.
Fhere only remain an hundred and twenty thou-
and children of poor parents annually born. The
meition therefore is, How this number fhali be
reared and provided for ? which, as I have alrea-
ly laid, under the prefent iituation of affairs is ut-
erly impoflible by all the methods hitherto propo-
ed. For we can neither employ them in handi-
raft or agriculture; we neither build houics, (I
,nean in the country), nor cultivate land : they can
jery feldom pick up a liveliehood by healing, till
ibey arrive at fix years old, except where they are
If towardly parts ; although I confefs they learn
lie rudiments much earlier ; during which time
{ley can however be properly looked upon only as
\robat loners ; as I have been informed by a princi-
lal gentleman in the county of Cavan, who proteft-
|d to me, that he never knew above one or two in-
(:ances under the age of fix, even in a part of the
ingdom fo renowned for the quicker! proficiency
p that art.
I am allured by our merchants, that a boy or a
hirl before twelve years old is no faieable commo-
[ity; and even wJaen they come to this age, they
till not yield above three pounds, or three pounc Is
pd half a crown at moft, on the exchange, which
Sannot turn to account either to the parents or
jingdom, the charge of nutriment and rags having
deen at leaft four times that value.
I {hall now therefore humbly propofe my own
noughts, which I hope will not be liable to the leaft
flbject"ion
1 have been aflured by a very knowing American
f my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy
pild, well nurfed, is at a year old a moit delicious,
ourifliing, and wholiome food, whether ftewed,
aafted, baked, or boiled ; and I make no doubt
rat it will equally ferve in a fricafTe, or a ragouft.
24o A MODEST PROPOSAL
I do therefore humbly offer it to public confider
ation, that of the hundred and twenty thoufanc
children already computed, twenty thoufand maj
be referved for breed, whereof only one fourtl
part to be males ; which is more than we allow tc
fheep, black cattle, or iVine ; . and my reafon is
that thefe children are feldom the fruits of marriage
a circumflance not much regarded by our favages ,
therefore one male will be fuiiicient to ferve fou:
females. Then the remaining hundred thoufanc
may, at a year old, be offered in fale to the perfon
of quality and fortune through the kingdom ; al
ways advifing the mother to let them fuck plentifulh
in the laft month, fo as to render them plump, am
fat for a good table. A child will make two dime
at an entertainment for friends ; and when the fa
mily dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will makt
a reafonable dim, and feafoned with a little peppe;
or fait, will be very good boiled on the fourth day
cfpecially in winter.
I have reckoned, upon a medium, that a chile
juft born will weigh 1 2 pounds, and in a folar year
if tolerably nurfed, will increafe to 28 pounds.
I giant this food will be fomewhat dear, anc1
therefore very proper for landlords, who, as the)]
have already devoured moftof the parents, feem tel
have the belt title to the children.
Infants fiefh will be in feafon throughout the!
year, but more plentiful in March, and a little be-l
fore and after ; for we are told by a grave author*,]
an eminent French phyiician, that fiih being a pro-l
lific diet, there are more children born in R.omafl|
Catholic countries about nine months after Lent.]
than at any other feafon ; therefore reckoning al
year after Lent, the markets will be more glutted!
than ufual, becatde the number of Popilh infantsfi
is at leait three to one in this kingdom ; and there •
I
* Rabelais.
fore
TO THE PUBLIC. 24 1
fore it will have one other collateral advantage by
idTening the number of Papifts among us.
I have already computed the charge of nurfing a
begar's child (in which lilt I reckon ail cottagers,
labourers, and four fifths of the farmers) to be a-
bout two fhillings per annum, rags included ; and
[ believe no gentleman would repine to given ten
liillings for the carcafe of a good fat child, which,
is I have faid, will make four dilhes of excellent
mtritive meat, when he hath only fome particular
j'riend or his own family to dine with him. Thus
||he fquire will learn to be a good landlord, and
i:;row popular among his tenants, the mother will
jiave eight (liillings neat profit, and be fit for work,
|ill fhe produces another child. "
Thofe who are more thrifty (as I muft.confefs
[he times require) may flay the carcafe : the fkin
If which, artificially drefTed, will make admirable
iloves for ladies, and fummer-boots for line sen-
l-emen.
As to our city of Dublin, fhambles may be ap-
pointed for this purpofe in the molt convenient parts
If it, and butchers we may be afiured will not be
anting -t although I rather recommend buying the
lildren alive, and drefllng them hot from the
ife, as we do roafting pigs.
A very worthy perfon, a true lover of his coun-
y, and whofe virtues I highly efteem, was lately
eafed, in difcourfmg on this matter, to offer a
fmement upon my fcheme. He faid, that many
ntlemen of this kingdom having of late deftroyed
eir deer, he conceived that the want of venifon
ight be well fupplied by the bodies of young lads
id maidens, not exceeding fourteen years of age,
r under twelve ; fo great a number of both fexrs
every county being now ready to ftarve for want
work and iervice ; and thefe to be difpofed of
their parents, if alive, or otherwise by their
arert relations. But, with due deference to fo
Vol. IV. X excellent
242 A MODEST PROPOSAL
excellent a friend, aud fo deferving a patriot, I
cannot be altogether in his fentiments : for, as to
the males, my American acquaintance allured me,
from frequent experience, that their flefh was ge-
nerally tough and lean, like that of our fchoolboys,
by continual exercife, and their tafte difagreeable,
and to fatten them would not anfwer.the charge.
Then, as to the females, it would, I think, with
humble fubmiffion, be a lofs to the public, becauft
they foon would become breeders themfelves : and
belides, it is not improbable, that fome fcrupuloui
people might be apt to cenfure fuch a practice (al-
though indeed very unjuftly), as a little borderins
upon cruelty ; which, I confefs, hath -always beer
with me the frrongeft objection againit any project
how well foever intended.
But, in order to juftify my friend, he confeiTed
that this expedient was put into his head by the fa
mour Salmanazor, a native of the iiland of For
mofs, who came from thence to London a
bove twenty years ago, and, in converfation, tok
my friend, that, in his country, when any youm
perion happened to be put to death, the execution
er fold the carcafes to perfons of quality as a prim<
dainty ; and that in his time the body of a plum]
girl of fifteen, who was crucified for an at-
tempt to poifon the Emperor, was fold to his impe
rial Majefty's prime miniitei of ftate, and othei
great mandarines of the court, in joints from the
gibbet, at four hundred crowns. Neither indeec
can I deny, that if the fame ufe were made of feve
ral plump young girls in this town, who, withou
one llngle groat to their fortunes, cannot ftir abroac
without a chair, and appear at a playhoufe and af
femblies in foreign fineries which they never will
pay for, the kingdom would not be the worfe.
Some perfons of a defponding fpirit are in greai
concern about the vaft number of poor people, whe
arc aged, difeafed, or maimed ; and I have beer
deilrec
TO THE PUBLIC. 243
deflred to employ my thoughts, what courfe may
be taken to eafe the nation of To grievous an in-
cumbrance. But I am not in the leaf! pain upon
that matter, becaufe it is very well known, that they
are every day dying, and rotting, by cold and fa-
mine, and filth and vermine, as fafr. as can be rea-
sonably expected. And as to the young labourers,
they are now in almofr as hopeful a condition :
they cannot get work, and consequently pine away
for want of nourifhment, to a degree, that if at a-
ny time they are accidentally hired to common la-
bour, they have- not ftrength to perform it ; and
thus the country and themfelves are happily deli-
vered from the evils to come.
I have too long digrefTed, and therefore fhall re-
turn to my fubjecl. I think the advantages by the
[propofal which I have made, are obvious and ma-
ny, as well as of the higheft importance.
■For, firfr, as I have already obferved, it would
breatly leffen the number of Papifts, with whom
Ive are yearly over-run, being the principal breed-
its of the nation, as well as our moft danaerous e-
hemies, and who fray at home on purpofe to deli-
ver the kingdom to the Pretender, hoping to take
their advantage by the abfence of fo many good
■Voteftants, who have chofen rather to leave their
Country, than ftay at home and pay tithes againft
tjheir conference to an t pifcopal curate.
Secondly, The poorer tenants will have fome-
fhing valuable of their own, which by law may be
tiade liable to a diftrefs, and help to pay their
landlord's rent ; their corn and cattle being already
ftized, and money a thing unknown.
Thirdly, Whereas the maintenance of an hun-
1 red thoufand children, from two -ears old and
J pwards, cannot be computed at lefs than ten fhil-
f'ngs a-piece per annum the nation's flock wiil be
■hereby increafed fifty thoufand pounds per annum,
■glides the profit of a new difh introduced to the
244 A MODEST PROPOSAL
tables of all gentlemen of fortune in the kingdom
wholiave any refinement in tafte. And the monei
will circulate among ourfelves, the goods being en
tireiy of our own growth and manufacture
Fourthly, The conftant breeders, befldes tin
gain of eight millings Sterling per annum by the fal
of their children, will be rid of the charge of main
taining them after the firft year.
Fifthly, This food will llkewife bring great cu
ftom to taverns ; where the vintners will certain!-
be fo prudent as to procure the beft receipts fo
clreiling it to perfection, and confequently hav
their houfes frequented by all the fine gentlemen
who juftly value themfelves upon their knowledg
in good eating ; and a ikilful cook, who under
ftands how to oblige his guefts, will contrive t
make it as expenfive as they pleafe.
Sixthly, This would be a great inducement t
marriage, which all wife nations have either en
couraged by rewards, or enforced by laws and pc
nalties. It would increafe the care and tendernel
of mothers towards their children, when they wer
lure of a fettlement for life to the poor babes, pre
vided in fome fort by the public, to their annus
profit inilead of expenfe. We mould foon fee a:
honeft emulation among the married women, whid
of them could bring the fatteft child to the market
Men would become as fond of their wives durin
the time of their pregnancy, as they are now o
their mares in foal, their cows in calf, or fows whei
they are ready to farrow ; nor offer to beat or kicl
them (as is too frequent a practice) for fear of i
mifcarriage.
Many other advantages might be enumerated
For inliance, the addition of fome thou fan d car
cafes in our exportation of barreled beef : the pro
pagation of fwines flefh, and improvement in tin
art of making good bacon, fo much wanted amonj
til by the great deftruction of pigs, too frequent a
oui
)
I
TO THE PUBLIC. 245
?ur tables ; which are no way comparable, in tafte
:>r magnificence, to a well-grown, fat, yearly child,
vhich, roafted whole, will make a coniiderabie fi-
gure at a Lord Mayor's feaft, or any other public
entertainment. But this, and many others, I omit,
>eing frudious of brevity.
Suppofing that one thoufand families in this city
/ould be conftant customers for infant's fleih, be-
des others who might have it at merry meetings,
articularly at weddings and chriftenings, I con>
jute, that Dublin would take off annually about
Iventy thoufand carcafes ; and the reft of the king-
lorn (where probably they will be fold fomewhat
peaper) the remaining eighty thoufand.
I can think of no one objection, that will pof-
bly be railed againft this propofal, unlefs it mould
5 urged, that the number of people will be there-
7 much leiTened in the kingdom. This I freely
l.vn, and it was indeed one principal defign in of-
ring it to the world. I defire the reader will ob-
rve, that I calculate my remedy " for this one
individual kingdom of Ireland, and for no. .
other that ever was, is, or, I think, ever can be
upon earth. Therefore let no man talk to me of
other expedients : of taxing our abfentees at five
{hillings a pound : of ufing neither cloaths nor
hofehold furniture, except what is of our own
growth and manufacture : of utterly rejecting
the materials and inftruments that promote fo-
reign luxury : of curing the expeniivenefs of
pride, vanity, idlenefs, and gaming in our* wo-
men ; of introducing a vein of parhmony,
►rudence, and temperance : of learning to love
>ur country, in the want of which we differ e-
en from Laplanders, and the inhabitants of
WTopinamboj : of quitting our anirnofities and-,
•factions, nor acting any longer like the Jews,
"who were murdering one another at the very
wnoment the city was taken ; of being a little cau-
m X 3 " tious
246 A MODEST PROPOSAL
tious not to fell our country and confciences foi
<<
it
t(
€t
(C
it
a
a
t(
nothing : of teaching landlords to have at leaf!
one degree of mercy towards their tenants. Lajl
fy, Of putting a fpirit of honefty, induftry, an<
ikill into our fhopkeepers, who, if a refolutioi
could now be taken to buy only our nativ<
goods, would immediately unite to cheat anc
exact upon us in the price, the meafure, an
the goodn efs, nor could ever yet be brough
to make one fair propofal of juft dealing, the
" often and earneftly invited to it."
Therefore I repeat, let no man talk to me c
thefe and the like expedients '*, till he hath i
leaft fome glimpfe of hope, that there will ever t
fome hearty and iincere attempt to put them i
practice.
But, as to myfelf having been wearied out fc
many years with offering vain, idle, viflonar
thoughts, and at length utterly defpairing of fu<
cefs, I fortunately fell upon this propofal ; whicl
as it is wholly new, fo it hath fomething folid an
real, of no expenfe and little trouble, full in oil
own power, and whereby we can incur no dang< ;
in difobliging England. For this kind of comm<
dity will not bear exportation, the flefh being of tc
tender a confiftence to admit a long continuance i|
fait, " although, perhaps, I could name a cour
*f try, which would be glad to eat up our who
41 nation without it."
After all, I am not fo violently bent upon m
own opinion as to reject any offer propofed by wi:
men, which fhall be found equally innocent, cheaj
eafy and effectual. But before fomething of th;
kind mall be advanced in contradiction to m
* Thefe expediens haJ been propokd before, forrv of tbeml
the Dean, aiu to urge the praibce of them by fbewing the only a
ternaiive, fetms to ha\e been the defign of this paper,
fchcm<
I
TO THE PUBLIC. 247
cheme, and offering a better, I deflre the author
;>r authors will be pleafed maturely to confider two
>oints. Fi*jty As things now ftand, how they
frill be able to find food and raiment for a hundred
ihoufand ufelefs mouths and backs. And, fecond-
v, there being a round million of creatures- in hu-
inan figure throughout this kingdom, whofe whole
niibiiftence put into a common frock would leave
ihem in debt two millions of pounds fterling, adding
i.hofe who are beggars by profeffion, to the bulk of
farmers., cottagers, and labourers, with their wives
Ijind children, who are beggars in effect ; I delire
lihofe politicians who diflike my overture, and may
perhaps be fo bold to attempt an anfwer, that they
vill rirft alk the parents of thefe mortals, whether
hey would not at this day think it a great happi-
nefs to have been fold for food at a year old, in
he manner I prefcribe, and thereby have avoided
rich a perpetual fcene of misfortunes, as they have
ince gone through, by the oppreffion of landlords,
:he impoffibility of paying rent without money or
trade, the want of common fuftenance, with nei-
ther houfe nor cloaths to cover them from the in-
clemencies of the weather, and the moll inevitable
brofpect of entailing the like, or greater miferies
upon their breed for ever.
I profefs, in the fincerity of my heart, that I have
(not the leaft perfonal intereft in endeavouring to
promote this neceffary work, having no other
[motive than the " public good of my country, by
f' advancing our t'-ade, providing for infants, re-
f' lieving the poor, and giving feme pleafure to
|" the rich." I have no children, by which I can
Ipropofe to get a fingle penny ; the youngeft being
nine years old, and my wife pair childbearing.
To
C 248 ]
To the Honourable Houfe of Commons, 6e.
The humble Petition of the Footmen u
and about the city of Dublin.
Written in the year 1732.
Humbly Jbeweth,
* I 'HAT your petitioners are a great and nnmer
•*■ ous fociety, endowed with feveral privilege-'
time out of mind.
That certain lewd, idle, and diforderly perfoni
for feveral months paft, as it is notoriously known,
have been daily feen in the public walks of this city;
habited fometimes in green coats and fometimes
laced, with long caken cudgdels in their hands, I
and without fwords ; in hopes to procure favour,
by that advantage, with a great number of ladies j
who frequent thofe walks; pretending and giving!
themfelves out to be true genuine Irifli footmen ;
whereas they can be proved to be no better than '
common toupees, as a judicious eye may foon dif-
cover, by their awkward, clumfey, ungenteel gait
and behaviour: by their unikilfulnefs in drcis even
with the advantage of our habits ; by their ill-
favoured countenances, with an air of impudence
and dulnefs peculiar to the reft of their brethren,
who have not yet arrived at that tranfcendent pitch
of afluranc- ; although it may be juftly apprehend-
ed that they will do fo in time, if thefe counter-
feits fhall happen to fucceed in their evil deiign of
paffing
THE PETITION, &c. 24$
. >a{fing for real footmen, thereby to render them-
elvcs more amiable to the ladles.
Your petitioners do farther alledge, that many
! if the faid counterfeits, upon a (tric~t examination,
; ave been found in the ad of ffrutting, (taring,
wearing, fwaggering, in a manner that plainly
dewed their bed endeavours to imitate us. Where-
: i, although they did not fucceed, yet by their ig-
1 orant and ungainly way of copying our graces,
tie utmoft indignity was endeavoured to be call
lipon our whole profefiion.
Your petitioners do therefore make it their
umble requelt, that this Honourable houfe (to
lany of whom your petitioners are nearly allied)
►-ill pleafe to take this grievance into your moft fe-
ious confideration ; humbly fubmitting, whether
: would not be proper, that certain officers might,
t the public charge, be employed to fearch for,
nd difcover all fuch counterfeit footmen ; to carry
hem before the next juftice of peace, by whofe
/arrant, upon the firft conviction, they fhould be
tripped of their coats and oaken ornaments, and
■e fet two hours in the flocks : upon the fecond
onviction, befides {tripping, be fet fix hours in
le ftocks, with a paper pinned on their breads,
ignifying their crime, in large capital letfers, and
a the following words : " A. B. commonly cal-
' led A. B .Efq; a toupee, and a notorious im-
1 poftor, who prefumed to perfonate a true Irifh
' footman.''
And for any other offence, the faid toupee mail
»e committed to Bridewell, whipped three times,
orced to hard labour for a month, and not to be
et at liberty till he (hall have fufficient fecurity for
lis good behaviour.
Your Honours will pleafe to obferve, with what
lenity we propofe to treat thefe enormous offenders,
ivho have already brought fuch a fcandal on our
lonourable calling, that feveral well-meaning peo-
ple
25© THE PETITION, &c.
pie have miftaken them to be of our fraternity,
diminution to that credit and dignity where"
we have fupported our Nation, as we always di
in the worft of times. And we further beg lea
to remark, that this was manifeftly done with a i !
ditious detign to render us leis capable of fervii,
the public in any great employments, as feveral i
our fraternity, as well as our anceftors have done
We do therefore humbly implore your Honou
to give necelTary orders for our relief in this pr
fent exigency, and your petitioners (as in du
bound) fhall ever pray, <bc
7t
A PRO-
C is* 3
PROPOSAL for giving Badges to the
BEGGARS in all the Parifhes of Dublin.
By the Dean of St. Patrick's.
Written in the Year 1737.
T hath been a general complaint, that the poor-
houfe (efpecially fince the new conititution by
t of parliament) hath been of no benefit to this
y, for the eafe of which it was wholly intended.
lad the honour to be a member of it many years
fore it was new modelled by the legislature ; not
bm any perfonal regard, but merely as one of the
lo Deans, who are of courie put into moft com-
l.ffions that relate to die city ; and I have likewile
ie honour to have been left out of feveral com-
Iffions upon the fcore of party, in which my pre-
IcefTors, time out of mind, have always been
lumbers.
The iirft commiffion was made up of about fifty
fons, which were the Lord Mayor, Aldermen,
d Sheriffs, and fome few other citizens ; the
dges, the two Archbifhops, the two Deans of the
y, and one or two more gentlemen. Andlmuft
kn fiefs my opinion, that the dilTolving the old com-
jffion, and eftablifhing a new one of near three
iaes the number, have been the great caufe of ren-
cring fo good a defign not only ufelefs, but a
fievance inftead of a benefit to the city. In the
jefent commiffion all the city clergy are included,
tlides a great number of f quires, not only thofe
f
who
tS2 A PROPOSAL FOR GIVING
who refide in Dublin and the neighbourhood, bi
feveral who live at a great diftance, and cann<
pofllbly have the leafl concern for the advantage <
the city.
At the few general meetings that I have attends
fince the new eftablifhment, I obferved very litt
was done except one or two acts of extreme juftic
which I then thought might as well have been fpa
ed : and I have found the court of affiffcants ufua
ly taken up in little wrangles about coachmen, (
adjufting accounts of meal and Imall beer; whicl
however neceflary, might lbmetimes have gm
place to matters of much greater moment, I me?
fome fchemes recommended to the general boai
for anfwering the chief ends in erecting and eft
blifhing iuch a poor-houfe, and endowing it wii
fo coniiderable a revenue : and the principal end
take to have been that of maintaining the poor ar
orphans of the city, where the parishes are not ab
to do it ; and clearing the ftreets from all ftroller
foreigners, and fhirdy beggars, with which, to tl
univerfal complaint and admiration, Dublin
more infefted lince the eftablHhment of the poo:
houfe, than it was ever known to be fince its fir
erection.
As the whole fund for fupporting this hofpital
raifed only from the inhabitants of the city ; i
there can be hardly any thing more abfurd than t
fee it miiemployed in maintaining foreign beggai
and baflards, or orphans of farmers, whofe cour
try landlords never contributed one milling towarc
their fupport. I would engage, that half this rt
venue, if employed with common care, and no vc
ry great degree of common honefty, would main
tain all the real objects of charity in this city, ex
cept a fmall number of original poor in every pa
riih, who might, without being burthenfome t<
the parilhioners, find a tolerable fupport.
I have, for ibme years pall, applied myfelf t<
fevera
BADGES TO BEGGARS. 253
feveral Lord Mayors, and the late Archbifhop of
Dublin, for a remedy to this evil of foreign beg-
gars ; and they all appeared ready to receive a very
plain propofal, I mean that of badging the origi-
nal poor of every parifh, who begged in the ftreets ;
that the laid beggars mould be confined to their
own parifhes ; that they mould wear their badges
well fewn upon one of their moulders, always viii-
ble, on pain of being whipped and turned out
K town ; or whatever legal punifhment may be
:hought proper and effectual. But, by the wrong
j.vay of thinking in fome clergymen, and the indif-
ference of others, this method was perpetually de-
feated, to their own continual difquiet, which they
lo not ill deferve ; and if the grievance affected
pnly them, it would be of lefs confequence; be-
auie the remedy is in their own power : but all
treet-walkers and fhopkeepers bear an equal mare
[1 its hourly vexation.
I never heard more than one objection againff
his expedient of badging the poor, and confining
aeir walks to their feveral pariihes. The objection
ras this : What mall we do with the foreign beg-
ars ? muft they be left to ffarve ? I anfwered,
Jo; but they muft be driven or whipped out of
>wn ; and let the next country-parifh do as they
leafe, or rather, after the practice in England,
nd them from one parifh to another, until they
:ach their own homes. By the old laws of Eng-
|nd ftiil in force, every parifh is bound to main-
in its own poor ; and the matter is of no fuch
mfequence in this point as fome would make it,
ether a country parifh be rich or poor. In the
moter and poorer parifhes of the kingdom, all
JcefTaries for life, proper for poor people, are
•mparatively cheaper ; I mean butter-milk, oat-
eal, potatoes, and other vegetables ; and every
mer or cottager, who is not himfelf a beggar,
1 iometimes fparc a fup or a morfel, not worth
Vol. IV. Y the
a54 A PROPOSAL FOR GIVING
the fourth part of a farthing, to an indigent neigh
hour of his own parifh, who is diiabled from work
A beggar native of the parifh is known to th
iquire, to the church-minifter, to the popiih prieft
or the conventicle-teacher, as well as to every far
mer : he hath generally fome relations able to live
and contribute ibmething to his maintenance. Non
of which advantages can be reafonably expecte
on a removal to places where he is altogether ur
known. If he be not quite maimed, he and h
trull, and litter of brats (if he has any), may g<
half their fupport by doing fome kind of work i
their power, and thereby be lefs burdenfome i
the people. In fhert, all neceiTaries. of life gro
in the country, and not in cities, and are cheap*
where they grow; uor is it equitable that begga
fhould put us to the charge of giving them, victual
and the carriage too.
But when the fpirit of wandering takes him, a
tended by his females and their equipage of chi
dren, he becomes a nuifance to the whole countn
he and his female are thieves, and teach the trac
of ftealing to their brood at four years old ; and
Ins infirmities be counterfeit, it is dangerous for
fingle perfon unarmed to meet him on the roa<
He wanders from one country to another, but fti
with a view to this town, whither he arrives at laf
and enjoys all the privileges of a Dublin beggar.
I do not wonder that the country-fquires ihoul
be very willing to fend up their colonies ; but wfc
the city fhould be content to receive them, is b
yond my imagination.
If the city were obliged by their charter to mail
tain a thoufand beggars, they could do it cheap*
by eighty per cent, a hundred miles off than in th
town, or in any of its fuburbs.
There is no village in Connaught, that in pre
portion fliares fo deeply in the daily increafing m
feries of Ireland, as its capital city ; to which m
ferk
h
BADGES TO BEGGARS. 255-
feries there hardly remained any addition, except
the perpetual fwarms of foreign beggars, who might
be banifhed in a month without expenfe, and with
Very little trouble.
As I am perfonally acquainted with a great num-
ber of ftreet-beggarsy.I iind fome weak attempts
lave been made in one or two parifhes to promote
he wearing of badges ; and my firft queftion to
hofe who afk an alms is, " Where is your badge?'*
bhave, in feveral years, met with about a dozen
vho were ready to produce them, fome out of their
>ockets, others from under their coat, and two or
hree on their moulders, only covered with a fort
pf capes- which they could lift up or let down upon
|)Ccafion. They are too lazy to work ; they are
lot afraid to fteal, nor afhamed to beg, and yet
lure too proud to be feen with a badge, as many of
.hem have confehed to me, and not a few ii> very
njurious terms,- particularly the females. They all
look upon fuch an obligation as a high indignity
lone to their office. I appeal to all indifferent
beople, whether fuch wretches deferve to be reliev-
d As to myfelf, I muffc confefs, this abfurd in-
Iblence hath fo affected me, that for feveral years
•aft, I have not difpofed of one fingle farthing to
I ftreet-beggar, nor intend to do fo until I fee a
letter regulation ; and I have endeavoured to per-
pade all my brother-walkers to follow my example,
rhich molt of them affure me they do. For, if
eggary be not able to beat out pride, it cannot
eferve charity. However, as to perfons in coach -
5 and chairs, they bear but little of the perfecti-
on we fuffer, and are willing to leave it entirely
pon us.
To fay the truth, there is not a more undefcrv-
ig vitious race of humankind, than the bulk of
lofe who are reduced to beggary, even in this beg-
iarly country. For, as a great part of our pub-
nc miferies is originally owing to our own faults,
Y 2 (but.
256 A PROPOSAL FOR GIVING
(but what thofe faults are, I am grown by experi-
ence too wary to mention), fo I am confident, that
among the meaner people nineteen in twenty of
thole who are reduced to a ftarving condition, did
not become fo by what the lawyers call the work of
God either upon their bodies or goods ; but mere-
ly from their own idlenefs, attended with all man-
ner of vices, particularly drunkennefs, thievery,
and cheating.
Whoever inquires, as I have frequently done,
from thofe who have alked me an alms, what was
their former courfe of life, will find them to have
been fervants in good famines, broken tradefmen.
labourers, cottagers, and what they call decayed
houfekecpers ; but (to ufe their own cant) reducec
by loiTes and crofTes, by which nothing can be un-
derftood but idlenefs and vice.
As this is the only Chriftian country where peo-
ple, contrary to the old maxim, are the poverty
and not the riches of the nation ; fo the bleffing ol
increafe and multiply, is by us converted into acurfe;
and as marriage hath been ever countenanced in all
free countries, fo we fhould be lefs miferable if il
were difcouraged in ours, as far as can be confift-
ant with Christianity. It is feldom known in Eng-
land, that the labourer, the lower mechanic, the
fervant, or the cottager, thinks of marrying, until
he hath faved up a ftock of money fufficient to
carry on his buflnefs ; nor takes a wife without a
fuitable portion ; and as feldom fails of making a
yearly addition to that ftock, with a view of provid-
ing for his children. But in this kingdom the cafe
is directly contrary, where many thoufand couples
are yearly married, whofe whole united fortunes,
bating the rags on their backs, would not be fuffi-
cient to purchafe a pint of butter-milk for their
wedding-fupper, nor have any profpect of fupport-
ing their honourable ftate but by fervice, or labour,
or thievery. Nay, their happinefs is often defer-
red
BADGES TO BEGGARS. 257
red until they find credit to borrow, or cunning to
{teal a Shilling to pay their Popifh prieft, or infa-
mous couple-beggar. Surely no miraculous por-
tion of wifdom would be required, to find fome
kind of remedy againft this destructive- evil, or, at
leaft, not to draw the confequences of it upon
our decaying city, the greateft part whereof muft
of courfe, in a few years, become defolate, or in
ruins.
In all other nations, that are not abfolutely bar-
barous, parents think themfelves bound by the law
)f nature and reafon, to make fome proviiion for
heir children ; but the reafon offered by the inha-
bitants of Ireland for marrying is, that they may
lave children to maintain them when they grow
)ld, and unable to vvork.
I am informed, that we have been for fome time ■
>aft extremely obliged to England for one very be-
leficial branch of commerce ; for, it feems, they
.re grown fo gracious as to tranfmit us continually
olonics of beggars, in return for a million of mo-
Jiey they receive yearly from hence, That I may
ii:ive no offence, I profefs to mean real EngliSh beg-
gars, in the literal meaning of the word, as it is u-
ually underflood by Proteftants. It feems the juf-
-ices of the peace and parifh -officers in the weftern
palts of England have a good while followed the
.hade of exporting hither their Supernumerary beg-
ars, in order to advance the Englifh Proteftant in-
breft among us; and thefe they are fo kind to fend
fiver gratis and duty-free. I have had the honour
lore than once to attend large cargos of them
"om Chefter to Dublin : and I was then fo igno-
unt as to give my opinion, that our city mould re-
jive them into Bridewell, and, after a month's re-
:lence, ha.ving been well whipped twice a-day, fed
ith bran and water, and put to hard labour, they
Mould be returned honeftly back with thanks as
xeap as they came : or, if that were not approv-
Y 3 ed.
258 A PROPOSAL FOR GIVING
ed of, I propofed, that whereas one Englishman i
allowed to be of equal intrinfic value with twelvi
born in Ireland, we fhould in juftice return then
a dozen for one to difpofe of as they pleafed.
As to the native poor of this city, there woul<
be little or no damage in confining them to thei !
feverai parifh.es. For inftance : a beggar of th;
parilh of St. Warborough's, or any other parifl,
here, if he be an object of companion, hath a::
equal chance to receive his proportion of alms fror
every charitable hand : becaufe the inhabitants, on j
or other walk through every ftreet in town, an
give their alms, without considering the place i
wherever they think it may be well difpofed of j
and thefe helps, added to what they get in eatablf '
by going from houfe to houfe among the gentry an
citizens, will, without being very burthenfome, t
Sufficient to keep them alive.
It is true, the poor of the fuburb-parifhes wi I
not have altogether the fame advantage, becaufe the II
are not equally in the road of bufinefs and pafTei
gers : but here it is to be considered, that the be\
gars there have not fo good a title to public char
ty, becaufe moil: of them are ftrollers from tt
country, and compofe a principal part of that gre;
nuifance which we ought to remove.
I fhould be apt to think, that few things can I
more irklbme to a city minilter, than a number c
beggars which do not belong to his diftricl, whoi
he hath no obligation to take care of, who are n
part of his flock, and who take the bread out (
the mouths of thofe to whom it properly belong
When I mention this abufe to any miniftcr of
city-parifli, he ufually lays the fault upon the be;
dies, who, he fays, are bribed by the foreign bei
gars ; and, as thofe beadles often keep alehoufe.
they find their account in fuch cuftomers. Th
evil might eafily be remedied, if the parifhes woul
make fome fmall addition to the falarics of a be;
BADGES TO BEGGARS. 259
die, and be more careful in the choice of thofe
officers. But, I conceive, there is one effectual
method in the power of every minifter to put in
practice ; I mean, by making it the intereit of all
his own original poor to drive out intruders : for
if the pariih beggars were ablblutely forbidden by
the minifter and church-officers to iuffer ^rollers to
come into the pariih, upon pain of themfelves
mot being permitted to beg alms at the church-
idoors, or at the houfes and ihops of the inhabitants,
1 they would prevent interlopers more effectually
ithan twenty beadles.
And here I cannot but take notice of the great
indilcretion of our city-lhopkeepers, who iuffer
their doors to be daily belieged by crouds of beg-
gars (as the gates of a lord are by duns), to the
great difguft and vexation of many cuftomers, whom
I have frequently obferved to go to other (hops, ra-
•ther than fuffer fuch a perfecution ; which might
[eafily be avoided, if no foreign beggars were allow-
ed to infeft them.
Wherefore I do afTert, that thefhopkeepers,who
are the greater!: complainers of this grievance, la-
• menting that for every cuftomer they are worried
by fifty beggars, do very well deferve what uiey
: fuffer, when a 'prentice with a horfe-whip is able
Lto lafh every beggar from the ihop who is not of
Bthe pariih, and doth not wear the badge of that
(pariih on his ihoulder, well fattened, and fairly vi-
iible ; and if this practice were univerfal in every
houie to all the fturdy vagrants, we fhould in a few
weeks clear the town of all mendicants, except
thofe who have a proper title to our charity : as for
the aged and infirm, it would be fufficient to give
them nothing, and then they muff ftarve, or follow
their brethren.
It was the city that firft endowed this hofpita!,
land thofe who afterwards contributed, as they were
I v fuch
26q A PROPOSAL FOR GIVING
fuch who generally inhabited here, fo they intend-
ed what they gave to be for the ufe of the city's
poor. The revenues, which have fince been railed
by parliament, are wholly paid by the city, without
the leaft charge upon any other part of the king-
dom ; and therefore nothing could more defeat the
original defign, than to mifapply thofe revenues or
ftrolling beggars or baftards from the country,
which bears no (hare in the charges we are at.
If fome of the out-parifhes be overburthenec
with poor, the reafon muft be, that the greater!
part of thoTe poor are ftrollers from the country,
who neftle themfelves where they can find the |
cheapeft lodgings, and from thence infeft ever)
part of the town, out of which they ought to b*
whipped as a moft infufferable nuifanee, being no-
thing elfe but a profligate clan of thieves, drunk-
ards, heathens, and whoremongers, fitter to be
rooted out of the face of the earth, than fufferec
to levy a vaft annual tax upon the city, which
ihares too deep in the public miferies brought or
us by the oppreffions we lie under from our neigh-
bours, our brethren, our countrymen, our Fellow-
Proteltants, and fellow-fubjedrs.
Some time ago I was appointed one of a com-
mittee to inquire into the Mate of the workhoufe ;
where we found that a charity was beftowed by a
great perfon for a certain time, which in its confe-
quences operated very much to the detriment of the
houfe ; for, when the time was elapfed, all thofe
who were fupported by that charity continued on
the fame foot with the reft on the foundation ; and,
being generally a pack of profligate, vagabond
wretches, from feveral parts of the kingdom, cor-
rupted all the reft ; fo partial, or treacherous, or
interefted, or ignorant, or miftaken, are generally
all recommenders, not only to employments, but
even to charity kfelf.
I know
BADGES TO BEGGARS. 261
I know it is complained, that the difficulty of
driving foreign beggars out of the city is charged
upon the bellowers, (as they are called), who find
rheir accounts beft in iufrering thofc vagrants to fol-
low their trade through every part of the town.
But this abuie might caiily be remedied, and very
nuch to the advantage of the whole city, if better
alaries were given to thofe who excute that office
;n the feveral pariflies, and would make it their in-
lereft to clear the town of thofe caterpillars, rather
I han hazard the lofs of an employment that would
Bye them an honeft livelihood. But, if thatihould
, ail, yet a general refolution of never giving charity
lo a ftreet-beggar out of his own parifh, or with-
out a vifible badge, would infallibly force all va-
grants to depart.
There is generally a vagabond fpirit in beggars,
vhich ought to be difcouraged, and feverely pu-
lifhed It is owing to the fame caufes that drove
hem into poverty ; I mean, idenefs, drunkennefs,
ind ram marriages without the leaft profpect of
importing a family by honeft endeavours, which
lever came into their thoughts. It is obferved,
hat hardly one beggar in twenty looks upon him-
elf to be relieved by receiving bread, or other
ood ; and they have in this town been frequently
een to pour out of their pitchers good broth, that
lath been given them, into the kennel ; neither do
ey much regard cloaths, unlefs to fell them ; for
heir rags are part of their tools with which the/
rork : they want only ale, brandy, and other
trong liquors, which cannot be had without mo*
wy : and money, as they conceive, always abounds
a the metropolis.
I had fome other thoughts to offer upon this
bbj'.ct. But as I am a deiponder in my nature,
nd have tolerably well difcovered the difpolition
»f our people, who never will move a ftep towards
eafing
262 A PROPOSAL, &c.
eafing themfelves from any one tingle grievance ; i
will be thought, that I have already faid too much
and to little or no purpofe, which hath often beej
the fate or fortune of the writer.
April 22.
1737-
j, swift;
ADVICI
C 263 ]
#-^4^x£^5^^^^4f:te
ADVICE to the freemen of the city of
Dublin, in the choice of a Member to
reprefent them in parliament *.
THOSE few writers, who, ilnce the death of
Alderman Burton, have employed their pens
in giving advice to our citizens, how they fhould
proceed in electing a new reprefentative for the next
feffions, having laid afide their pens ; I have rea-
fon to hope, that all true lovers of their country in
(general, and particularly thole who have any re-
gard for the privileges and liberties of this great
and ancient city, will think a fecond, and a third
time, before they come to a final determination up-
on what perfon they refolve to fix their choice.
I am told, there are only two perfons who fet up
for candidates : one is the prefent Lord Mayor +,
ind the other i, a gentleman of good efteem, and
ilderman of the city, a merchant of reputation,
id poiTerTed of a confiddrable office || under the
:rown The queftion is, "Which of thefe two per-
'Ibns it will be moft for the advantage of the city to
?lect t I have but little acquaintance with either, fo
:hat my inquiries will be very impartial, and drawa
>nly from the general character acd fituation of
* This piece was.publifhed in the year 1733 ; and as it ituy be
feful upon a like cccalion, we have here given it a place.
■j- Humphry F ench.
t John Macaral.
J JRe^idev to the barracks.
In
,64 ADVICE TO THE
In order to this, I muft offer my countryme
and fellow- citizens fome reafons why I think the
ought to be more than ordinarily careful at th
juncture, upon whom they bellow their votes.
To perform this with more clearnefs, it may t
proper to give you a fhort flate of our unfortunai
country.
We conlifr. of two parties, I do not mean Popif
and Proteftant, high and low church, Enifcopal an
Sectarians, Whig and Tory ; but of thofe of Ens
lifh who happen to be born in this kingdom, (who:
ancestors reduced the whole nation under the ob«
dience of the Englifh crown), and the gentleme
fent from t'other fide to poffefs moil: of the chi<
employments here. This latter party is very muc
enlarged and ftrengthened by the whole power i
the church, the law, the army, rhe revenue, an
the civil admmiftration depofited in their hands
although for polical ends, and to fave appearance
fome emolovments are full depofited (yet gradual)
in a imaller number) to perfons born here. Th
proceeding, fortified with good words and man
promifes, is fuificient to flatter and feed the hopt
of hundreds, who will never be one farthing th
better, as they might eafily be convinced, if" the
were qualified to think at all.
Civil employments of all kinds have been for ft
veral years pall with great prudence made preca
rious, and during pleafure ; by which means th
pofleilbrs are, and muff inevitably be, for ever de
pendent ; yet thofe very few of any confequence
which being dealt with io fparing a hand to perfon
born among us, are enough to keep hope alive ii
great numbers, who defire to mend their conditio!
by the favour of thofe in power.
Now, my dear fellow-citizens, how is it poflibL
you can conceive that any perfon who holds an of
iice of fome hundred pounds a-year, which may b:
taken from him whenever power ihall think fit
will
FREEMEN OF DUBLIN. 265
will, if he mould be chofen a member for any city,
do the leaft thing, when he fits in the houie, that
lie knows or fears may be difpleaiing to thole who
*ave him, or continue him in that office ? Believe
ne, thefe are no times to expect fuch an exalted de-
cree of virtue from mortal men. Blazing (tars are
nuch more frequently feen than fuch heroicai wor-
hies. And I could iboner hope to find ten thou-
and pounds by digging in my garden, than fuch a
>hcenix by fearching among the prefent race of
Qankind.
I cannot forbear thinking it a very erroneous as
veil as modern maxim of politics in the Englilh
liation, to take every opportunity of deprefimg
Ireland, whereof an hundred inftances may be pro-
duced in points of the higheft importance, had
t.'ithin the memory of every middle-aged man :
i lthough many of the greateft perfons among that
; arty which now prevails, have formerly, upon that
. rticle, much differed in their opinion from their
Itrefent fucceflbrs.
But fo the fact, ftands at prefent. It is plain,
fiat the court and country party here (I mean in
e houfe of Commons) very feldom agree in any
ing but their loyalty to his prefent Majefty, their
solutions to make him and his viceroy eafy in the
pvernment, to the utmoit of their power, under
|ie prefent condition of the kingdom. But the
rfons fent from England, who (to a trifle) are
>fTefled of the fole executive power in all its
ranches, with their few adherents in pofleffion
ho were born here, and hundreds of expectants,
opers, and promifees, put on quite contrary notions
ith regard to Ireland. They count upon a uni-
-f«U fubmiffion to whatever mail be demanded ;
.erein they act fafely, becaufe none of themfelvcs,
cept the candidates, feel the icaft of our prcf-
res.
Vol. IV. Z I
266 ADVICE TO THE
I remember a perfon of diftinction fome days ag(i
affirmed in a "ood deal of mixed company, and o [
both parties, that the gentry from England, wKt]
now enjoy Our higheft employments of all kind<
can never be poffibly iofeis of one farthing by thj
greateft calamities that can befal this kingdom, ex|
cept a plague that would fweep away a million c
our hewers 'of ivoo.1, and drawers of water ; or a
invailon that would fright our grandees out of th
kingdom. For this perfon argued, that while thei
was a penny left in the treafury, the civil and mil
tary lift rnuftbe paid ; and that the Epiicopal rev<|
nues, which are ulually farmed out at fix times bi I
low the real value, could hardly fail. He infifte
farther, that, as money diminifhed, the prices ( I
all neceffiiries for life mull of confequence do :
too, which would be for the advantage of all pe J
ions in employment, as well as of my Lords til
Bilhops, and to the ruin of every body eife. Amor I
the company there wanted not men in office, befid |J
one or two expectants : yet I did not obferve any < |
them difpofed to return an anfwer : but the conf |
quences drawn were thefe : That the great men
power fent hither from the other fide were by il
means upon the fame foot with his Majefty's oth |
fubjecls of Ireland. They had no common lig
ment to bind them with us ; they fuffered not wi
our fuffeiings, and if it were poffible for us to ha
any caufe of rejoicing, tliey could not rejoice wi
43 S.
..iSuppofe a perfon, born intliis kingdom, fh;
iiappen by' his fervices for the Engliih intereft-
have an employment conferred on him worth foi
hundred pounds a-ycar ; and that he hath likewi
an eftatein land worth four hundred pounds a-ye
more : fuppoie him to lit in parliament : the
llippofe a ls-nd-tax to be brought in of five Ihiilin
a-pound for ten years: I tell you how this gentl
man will compute. lie -hath four hundred poun
a-ye!
FREEMEN OF DUBLIN. 267
fr-year in land : the tax he muft pay yearly is one
hundred pounds ; by which, in ten years, he wjU
pay only a thoufand pounds. But if he gives his
vote againft this tax, he will lofe four thoufand
1 pounds by being turned out of his employment,
together with the power and influence he hath, by
virtue or colour of his employment ; and thus the
\ balance will be againft him three thoufand pounds.
Idefire, my fellow-citizens, you will pleafe to
,call to mind how many perfons you can vouch for
jamong your acquaintance, who liave fo much vir-
tue and felf-denial, as to lofe four hundred pounds
|a-year for life, together with the froiles and favour
pf power, and the hopes of higher advancement,
merely out of a generous love of his country.
The contentions of partkt in England are very
,iifierent from thofe among us. The battle there is
fought for power and riches ; and fo it is indeed
imong us : but whether a great employment be gi-
/en to Tom or to Peter, they were both born in
England, the profits are to be fpent there. All
employments (except a very few) are beftowed on
he natives : they do not fend to Germany, Holland,
i>weden, or Denmark, much lefs -to Ireland, for
hancellors, bifhops, judges, or other officers.
lieir falaries, whether well or ill got, are employ-
d at home ; and whatever their morals or politics
,e, the nation is not the poorer,
Ihe houfe of Commons in England have fre«
uently endeavoured to limit the number of mem-
ts, who ihould be allowed to have employments
ider the crown. Several acts have been' made to
at purpofe, which many wife men think are not
t effectual enough, and many of them are render-
1 ineffectual by leaving the power of re -election..
ur houfe of Commons coni'iiis, I think, of about
ree hundred members ; if one hundred of thefe
ould happen to be made up of perfons already
'ovided for, joined with exp-.:clers, compliers,
Z.2. . eaiy
:68 ADVICE TO THE
eafy to be perfuaded, fuch as will give a vote for
friend who is in hopes to get (bmething ; if they t j
merry companions, without fufpicion, of a natur:
bafhfulnefs, not apt or able to look forwards ;
good words, fmiles, and careftes, have any powi j
over them, the larger part of a fecond hundred m;
be very eaflly brought in at a moft reafonable rat
There is an Englishman * of no long Handing
mong us, but in an employment of great trujl
power, and profit. This excellent perfon did lat
ly publiih, at his own expenfe, a pamphlet, printi
in England by authority, to juftify the bill for a g j
neral excife, or inland duty, in order to introdu
that blefTed fcheme among us. "What a tender ca jj
mure fuch an Englifh patriot for Ireland have of o H
intereft, if he fhould condefcend to fit in our pz
liament ? I will bridle my indignation. Howev< j
methinks I long to fee that mortal, who would wi I
pleafure blow us up all at a blafl ; but he duly 1 1
ceives his thoufand pounds a year; makes his pr
grefs like a king ; is received in pomp at every to\
f and village where he travels, and fhines in t
Englifh news-papers.
I will now apply what I have faid to you, my bi
thren and fellow-citizens. Count upon it, as a tru
next to your creed, that no one perfon in office,
which he is not mafter for life, whether born he
or in England, will ever hazard that office for t.
good of this country. One of your candidates
df this kind, and I believe him to be an honeft ge
tleman, as the word honeft is generelly underftoo
But he loves his employment better than he do
you, or his country, or all the countries upon cart
Will you contribute or give him city-fecurity to p
him the value of his employment, if it fhould be t
* Edwaid Thomfon, Efq j member of parliament for York, a
a commiUioncr of the revenue of Ireland.
f Mr Thornton was prefented with his freedom of feveralcorj
rations in Ird.md.
k<
FREEMEN OF DUBLIN. 269
ken from him during his life, for voting on all 00
cafions with the honeft country-party in the houfe?
'although I much queftion, whether he would do
Jit even upon that condition.
Wherefore, fince there are but two candidates,
1 intreat you will fix on the prefent Lord Mayor.
;He hath fnewn more virtue, more activity, more
pill, in one year's government of the city,' than an
hundred years can equal He hath endeavoured
pith great fuccefs to banifh frauds, corruptions,
lind all other abufes from amongil you.
A dozen fuch men in power would be able to
reform a kingdom. He hath no employment un-
fier the crown ; nor is likely ro get or folicit for a-
JjV ; his education having not turned him that wav..
will aliure for no man's future conduct ; but he
►'ho hath hitherto practifed the rules of virtue with
10 much difficulty, in fo great and fo bufy a ftation^
leferves your thanks, and the belt return you can
make him; and you, my brethren, have no other
3 give him, than that of reprefenting you in par-
ament. Tell me not of your engagements and
romiies to another. Your promifes were fins of
iconfideration at belt; 7md you are bound to re-
lent and annul them. That gentleman, although
ith good reputation, is already engaged on the o-
kr fide. He hath four hundred pounds a-year
ader the crown, which he is to»> wife to part with,
\i facriiicing fo good an eftablifhment to the empty
kmes of virtue, and love o£ his country^ I can
hare yen, the Drapier is in the interefts of the pre-
nt Lord Mayor, whatever you may be told to the
ntrary. I have lately heard him declare ih in pu-
lic company, and offer feme of thefe very reafons
defence of his opinion ; although he hath a re-
■d and eiteem for the other gentleman, but would
»t anfwerthe good of the city and the kingdom
r a compliment.
Z 3 The
27o ADVICE TO THE, &c. J
The Lord Mayor's feverity to fome unfair deal
ers fhould not turn the honeft men among them a
gainft him. Whatever he did, was for the advan
tage of thofe very traders whole difhoneft member
he punifhed. He hath hitherto been above tempta
tion to act wrong ; and therefore, as mankind goes
he is the moft likely to act right as a reprefentativ I
of your city, as he conftantly did in the goverr
meiit of it.
Son!
[ 271 ]
m^^yjfH^A>^^m^^H¥^^HYMh^
Some Considerations humbly offered to the
Right Honourable the Lord Mayor, the
court of Aldermen and Common Council
of the Hon. city of Dublin, in the choice
of a Recorder *.
THE office of Recorder to this city being va-
cant by the death of a very worthy gentle-
man, it is faid, that five or fix perfons are foliat-
ing to fucceed him i 1 the employment. I am a
ftranger to all their perfons, and to moft of their
characters ; which latter, I hope, will at this time
be canvafied with more decency, than it fomctimes
happeneth upon the like occafions. Therefore, as
I am wholly impartial, I can with more freedom
deliver my thoughts, how the feveral perfons and
parties concerned ought to proceed in electing a re-
corder for this great and ancient city.
And firft, as it is a very natural, fo I can by no
means think it an unreafonable opinion, that the
fons, or near relations of aldermen, and other de-
serving citizens, mould be duly regarded, as pro-
per competitors for an employment in the city's
difpofal : provided they be equally qualified with
other candidates ; and provided that fuch employ-
ments require no more than common abilities and
common honefty. But, in the choice of a record-
* Up.i n the death of Mr. Stoyte, recorder of the city of Dublin,
in the year 1733, feveral gentlemen declared themfelves candidates
i to fucce.d him 5 upon which the Dean wrote this p.iper ; acd E.Aton
I Stannard, Efq; (a gentleman of great woith and honour, and very
knowing in his profeflion). w^s eiedtcd.
er,
272 OF THE CHOICE
er, the cafe is entirely different. He ought to be a
perfon of good abilities in his calling ; of an un-
fpotted character ; an able practitioner ; one who
hath occafionally merited of this city before : He
ought to be of fome maturity in years ; a member
of parliament, and likely to continue fo ; regular
in his life; firm in his loyalty to the Hanover fuc^
cefHon; indulgent to tender confciences ; but, at
the fame time, a firm adherer to the eftablifhed
church. If he be fuch a one, who haih already fat
in parliament, it ought to be inquired of what
weight he was there ; whether he voted on all oc-
casions for the good of his country ; and particu-
laaly for advancing the trade and freedom of this
city : whether he be engaged in. any faction, either
national or religious: And laftly, whether he be
a man of courage : not to be drawn from his
duty by the frowns or menaces of power, nor cap-
able to be corrupted by allurements or bribes.
Thefe, and many other particulars, are of infi-
nitely more confequence than that ilngle circum-
ftance of being defcended by a direct or collateral
line from any alderman, or diftinguifhed citizen,
dead or alive.
There is not a dealer or fhopkeeper in this city
of any fubttance, whofe thriving, lefs or more,
may not depend upon the good or ill conduct of a
recorder. He is to watch every motion in parlia-
ment, that may the leaft affect the freedom, trade,
or welfare of ir.
In this approaching election, the Commons, as
they are a numerous body, fo they feem to be
moft concerned in point of intereft ; and their in-
tereft- ought to be moft regarded, becaufe it alto-
gether dependeth upon the true intereft of the city.
They have no private views ; and giving their votes,
as I am informed, by balloting, they lie under no
awe, or fear of diiobliging competitors. It is
therefore hoped, that they will duly confider,,
which
OF A RECORDER. 273
which of the candidates is moil likely to advance
the trade of themfelves and their brother-citizens ;
to defend their liberties, both in and cut of parlia-
ment, againft all attempts of incroachment or op-
preflion. And fo God direct them in tl\e choice
of a recorder, who may for many years fupply
that important office w7ith {kill, diligence, courage,
and fidelity. And let all the people fay, Amen.
The
I $74 1
The lad Speech and Dying Words of Ebe«
nezer Elliston, who was executed the
2d day of May 1722 *.
Publiihed at his defire, for the common good..
[About the time that the following fpeech wa.«
written, the town was much peftered with ftreet
robber ; who, in a barbarous manner, would feizc
on gentlemen, and take them into remote corners,
and after they had robbed them, would leave their
bound and gagged. It is remarkable, that this
fpeech had fo good an effect, that there have
been very few robberies of that kind committed
fince.J
AM now going to fuffer the juft punimment
-*• for my crimes, prefcribed by the law of God and
my country. I know it is the conftant cuftom,
that thofe who come to this place mould have
fpeeches made for them, and cried about in their
own hearing, as they are carried to execution ;
and truly they are fuch fpeeches, that, although
our fraternity be an ignorant illiterate people, they
would make a man afhamed to have fuch nonfenfe
and falfe Englifh charged upon him, even when he
* This piece hai a mod excellent efifecl:. The thieves, vaga-
bonds, and all the lower clafs of people, thought it the real work of
"Ebt nezer El'ifton, who had received the grounds of a goodedu.a-
ti n ; and the ftyle of this paper is fo natural for a perfin in
fuch circumfLnces, that it would almorl de.cive the niceft judg-
ment. On try.
is
THE LAST SPEECH, &c. 27$
is going to the gallows. They contain a pretended
account of our birth and family, of the fact for
which we are to die, of our finccre repentance, and
a declaration of our religion. I cannot expect to
avoid the fame treatment with my predeceflbrs.
However, having had an education one or two de-
grees better than thofe of my rank and profeflion,
II have been confidering, ever ilnce my commit-
ment, what it might be proper for me to deliver
j upon this occafion.
And firft, I cannot fay from the bottom of my
beart, that I am truly forry for the offence I have
given to God, and the world; but I am very much
fo, fipr the bad fuccefs of my villanies in bringing
rne to this untimely end. For it is plainly evident,
that, after having feme time ago obtained a pardon
from the crown, I again took up my old trade :
my evil habits were fo rooted in me, and I was
grown fo unfit for any other kind of employment.
And therefore, although, in compliance with my
rriends, I refolve to go to the gallows after the
fual manner, kneeling, with a book in my hand,
nd my eyes lift up-; yet I ihali feel no more de-
rotion in my heart than I have obferved in my
omrades, who have been drunk among common
hores the very night before their execution. I
an lay farther from my own knowledge, that two
f my fraternity after they had been hanged, and
onderfully came to life, and made their efcapes,
s it fometimes 'happens, proved afterwards the
ickedeft rogues I ever knew, and lb continued until
hey were hanged again for good and all ; and yet
hey had the impudence at both times they went to
he gallows to finite their breaits, and lift up their
yes to heaven all the way.
Secondly, From the knowledge I have of my
wn wicked difpofiticns, and that of my comradtr,
give it as my opinion, that nothing can be more
nfortunate to the public, than the mercy of the
government
2j6 THE LAST SPEECH OF
government in ever pardoning or tranfporting us ;
unlefs when we betray one another, as we never
fail to do, if we are fure to be well paid, and then
a pardon may do good ; by the fame rule, That it
is better to have but one fox in a farm than three or
four. But we generally make a fhift to return af-
ter being tranfported, and are ten times greater
rogues than before, and much more cunning. Be-
fides, I know it by experience, that fome hope we
have of finding mercy, when we are tried, or after
we are condemned, is always a great encourage-
ment to us.
Thirdly, Nothing is more dangerous to idle
young fellows than the company of thofe odiou?
common whores we frequent, and of which thi:
town is full : tbefe wretches put us upon all mif
chief to feed their luits and extravsancies : the>
O 4
are ten times more bloody and cruel than men
their advice is always not to fpare if we are purfu
ed ; they get drunk with us, and are common t<
us all ; and yet, if they can get any thing by it
are fure to be our betrayers.
Now, as I am a dying man, fomething I hav<
done which may be of good ufe to the public,
have left with an honeft man, (and indeed the on
ly honeft man I was ever acquainted with), the
names of all my wicked brethren, the prefent place
of their abode, with a fhort account of the chie:
crimes they have committed, in many of which .
have been their accomplice, and heard the ref
from their own mouths ; I have likewife fet dowi
the names of thofe we call our fetters, of the wic
ked houfes we frequent, and of thofe who receive
nnd buy our ftolen goods. I have folemnly charg'
edthis honeft man, and have received his promifc
upon oath, that whenever he hears of any rogue t(
be tried for robbing, or houfebrcaking, he wil
look into his lift, and if he finds the name there o:
the thief concerned, to fend the whole paper tc
tlr-
EBENEZER ELLISTON. 277
the government. Of* this I here give my compa-
nions fair and public warning, and hope they will
take it
In the paper above mentioned, which I left with
my friend, I have alfo fet down the names of feve-
ral gentlemen who have been robbed in Dublin
ftreets for three years pail ; I have told the cir-
cumftances of thofe robberies ; and fhewn plainly
that nothing but the want of common courage was
rhe caufe of their misfortune. I have therefore
defired my friend, that whenever any gentleman
happens to be robbed in the ftreets, he will get
that relation printed and publifhed with the firffc
letters of thofe gentlemens names, who by their
own want of bravery are likely to be the caufe of
all the mifchief of that kind which may happen for
the future.
I cannot leave the world without a fhort defcrip-
tion of that kind of life, which I have led for feme
years paft ; and is exactly the fame with the reft of
our wicked brethren.
Although we are generally fo corrupted from
our childhood, as to have no fenfe of goodnefs ;
pet fomething heavy always hangs about us, I know
lot what it is, that we are never eafy till we are
lalf-drunk among our whores and companions ;
lor fleep found unlefs we drink longer than we can
land. If we go abroad in the day, a wife man
vould ealily find us to be rogues by our faces, we
ave fuch a fufpicious, fearful, and conftrained
ountenance • often turning back, and {linking
rough narrow lanes and alleys. I v have never
iled of knowing a brother-thief by his looks,
ough I never faw him before. Every man among
s keeps his particular whore, who is however
mmon to us all, when we have a mind to change,
"hen we have got a booty, if it be in money, we
ivide it equally among our companions, and foon
uander it away on our vices, in thefe hcufes that
Vol. IV. A a receive
278 THE LAST SPEECH OF
receive us ; for the mafter and miftrefs, and the
very tapfter, go fnacks ; and befides make us pay
triple reckonings. If our plunder be plate, watch-
es, rings, muff-boxes, and the like, we have cuf-
tomers in all quarters of the town to take them oft*.
I have feen a tankard worth fifteen pounds fold to
a fellow in ftreet for twenty millings ; and a'
gold watch for thirty. I have fet down his name,
and that of feveral others, in the paper already men-
tioned. We have fetters watching in corners, and
by dead walls, to give us notice when a gentleman
goes by ; efpecially if he be any thing in drink.
I believe in my confidence, .that if an account were
mad^ of a thoufand pounds in ftolen goods,, con-
sidering the low rates we fell them at, the bribes
we muft give for concealment, the extortions of
alehoufe-reckonings, and other neceffary charges,
th ere would not remain fifty pounds clear to be di-
vided among the robbers. And out of this we
muft find cloaths for our whores, befides treating
them from morning to night ; who in requital re-
ward us with nothing but treachery and the pox.
For when our money is gone, they are every mo-
ment threatening to inform againft us, if we will
not go out and look for more. If any thing in
this world be like hell, as I have heard it defcrib-
cd by our clergy, the trueft picture of it muft be
in the backroom of one of our alehoufes at mid
night ; where a crew of robbers and their whores
are met together after a booty, and are beginning
to grow drunk ; from which time, until they are
paft their fenfes, is fuch a continued horrible noife
of curling, blafphemy, lewdnefs, fcurrility, and
brutilh behaviour, fuch roaring and confufion,
fuch a clutter of mugs and pots at each other's
heads ; that bedlam, in comparifon, is a fober and
orderly place. At laft, they all tumble from their
ffools and benches, and ileep away the reft of the
laight ; and generally the landlord or his wife, or
ibme
EBENEZEK ELL'ISTON. 279
fome other whore who has a ftronger head than
the reft, picks their pockets before they wake. The
misfortune is, that we can never be eafy till we are
drunk ; and our drunkennefs conftantly expofes us
tt> be more eafily betrayed and taken.
This is a fhort picture of the life 1 have led ;
which is more miferable than that of the pporeft
labourer, who works for fourpence a- day ; and yet
cuftom is fo ftrong, that I am confident, if I could
make my efcape at the foot of the gallows, I ihould
be following the fame courfe this very evening. So
that, upon the whole, we ought to be looked upon
as the common enemies of mankind ; whofe inte-
reft it is to root us cut like wolves and other mif-
chievous vermin, againft which no fair play is re-
quired^
If I have done fervice to men in what I have faid,
I mail hope I have done fervice to God ; and that
will be better than a filly fpeech made for me, full
of whining and canting, which I utterly defpife,
and have never been ufed to ; yet fuch a -one I ex-
pect to have my ears tormented with, as I am pafT-
ling along the ftreets.
Good people, fare ye well ; bad as I am, I leave
1 many worfe behind me. I hppe you fhall fee me
1 die like a man the death of- a dog.
E. E.
A a 2 The
C 280 ]
The INTELLIGENCER*.
NUMBER I.
T may be faid, without offence to other cities of
much greater confequence to the world, that our
town of Dublin doth not want its due proportion
of folly and vice, both negative and imported ; and
* The Intelligencer was a weekly paptr undei taken by the Dean and
Dr. Sheridan in 1728, of which no more than twenly numbers were
ever publifhed. The ift, 3d, 5th, 7th, 9th, fome verfes in the 8th,
and at the end of the 10th, ihe 15th, and the 19th, were written by
the Dean. The 5th and 7th are put together and printed as they were
publifhed by Mr Pope in the 4th volume of their mifcellanies, under
the title of An EJJ'ay on ibe fates of clergymen, vol. 8. p. J 89. The
poefy in the 8th, is the dialogue between mad Mullinix and Timitby,
which is printed, as it was alio claffed by Mr Pope, in vol. 7. p 193.
The 9th he intitled An ejjay on modern education, and by that name it
will be found in vol. 7. p. 197. The verfes at the end of the 10th,
called 1 im and the Fables y are printed in vol. 8. p. 66. The 15'h is
a pamphlet which Dr. Sheridan, having written a fhort introduction,
to, took into the Intelligencer, merely to iave the labour of writing a
paper. Ic is printed in volume 4. and intitled, A port vieiv of the
pate of Ireland. No 19. is alfo a tract which has been before publish-
ed by itfelf : and was taken into the Intelligencer for the fame reafon
as the former. The Dean and the Doctor foon became weary of a
periodical work, in which they were difappointed of affiftance; the
price was but one halfpenny; and (o few were Lid, that the piinter
could not afford to engage a young man of proper qualifications to
work up fuch hints as fhould be fent him ; of which there were e-
nough, and which the undertakers hoped thus to communicate, with
lefs labour to the public. The Intelligencers were collected into a vo-
lume, and reprinted in England in 1730. See letter 6z.
as
No i. THE INTELLIGENCER. 281
as to thofe imported, we have the advantage to re-
ceive them laft, and confequently, after our happy
manner, to improve and refine upon them.
But, becaufe there are many effects of folly and
vice among us, whereof fome are general, and o-
thers confined to fmaller numbers, and others a-
gain perhaps to a few individuals ; there is a focie-
ty lately eftablifhed, who at great expenfe have e-
rected an office of intelligence, from which they
are to receive weekly information of all important
,events and Angularities, which this famous metro-
polis can furnifh. Strict injunctions are given to
pave the trueft information; in order to which,
■fcrtain qualified perfons are employed to attend
upon duty in their feveral pofts ; fome at the play-
lioufe, others in churches, fome at balls, aiTem-
plies, coffeehoufes, and meetings for quadrille ;
bme at the feveral courts of juftice, both fpiritual
Lnd temporal ; fome at the college, fome upon my
Lord Mayor and aldermen in their public affairs ;
pftly, fome to converfe with favourite chamber-
maids, and to frequent thofe alehoufes and brandy
i iiops where the footmen of great families meet in
I morning ; only the * barracks and parliainent-
loufe are excepted ; becaufe we have yet found no
\nfans perdus f bold enough to venture their per-
B)ns at either. Out of thefe and fome other ftore-5
louies, we hope to gather materials enough to in-
prm, or divert, or correct, or vex the town.
But as facts, paffages, and adventures - of all
nds are like to have the greateft fhare in our pa-
r, whereof we cannot always anfwer for the
uth ; due care fhall be taken to have them appli-
to feigned names, whereby all juft offence will'
removed ; for if none be guilty, none will havs-
!* Barracks, buildings for the lodgement of foldiers.
if Er.fam perdus, forlorn hope. See Preface to the JBlili op of Sa-
l's introduction.
A ar 3 caufc
282 THE INTELLIGENCER. No i.
caufe to blum or be angry ; if otherwife, then the
guilty perfon is fafe for the future upon his prefent
amendment, and fafe for the prefent from all but
his own confcience.
There is another refolution taken among us,
which I fear will give a greater and more general
difcontent, and is of fo lingular a nature, that I
have hardly confidence enough to mention it, al-
though it be abfolutely neceffary by way of apolo-
gy for fo bold and unpopular an attempt. But fo
it is, that we have taken a defperate counfel to pro-
duce into the world every diftinguimed action, ei-
ther of juftice, prudence, generoiity, charity, friend-
fhip, or public fpirit, which comes well attefted tc
us. And although we fhall neither here be fo dar-
ing as to affign names, yet we fhall hardly forbeai
to give fome hints, that, perhaps, to the great dif
pleafure of fuch deferving perfons, may endangei
a difcovery. For we think, that even virtue itfel:
fhould fubmit to fuch a mortification, as by its vifi
bility and example will render it more ufeful to th<
world. But however, the readers of thele paper:
need not be in pain of being overcharged with f<
dull and ungrateful a fubjecl. And yet who knows
but fuch an occafion may he offered to us once ii
a year or two, after we have fettled a correfpon
dence round the kingdom.
But after all qui boafts of materials fent us bi
our feveral emilia :i< s, we may probably foon fal
Jhort, if the town will not be pleafed to lend u:
further affiftance towards entertaining itfelf, Th<
world beft knows its own faults and virtues, anc h
whatever is fent ihall be faithfully returned back
only a little embclliflied, according to the cufton
of authors. We do therefore demand and ex
peel: continual advertifements in great numbers, t(
to be fent to the printfr of this paper, who hatl
employed a judicious fecretary to collect fuch as ma}
be moil ufeful for the public.
Ant
No 3. THE INTELLIGENCER. 2S3
And although we do not intend to expofe our own
perfons by mentioning names, yet we are fo far from
requiring the fame caution in our correfpondents,
that, on the contrary, we exprefsly charge and
command them, in all the facts they fend us, to fet
down the names, titles, and places of abode at
length ; together with a very particular defcription
of the " perfons, drefTes, difpofitions of the fever-
" al lords, ladies, 'fquires, madams, lawyers, game-
" fters, toupees, fots, wits, rakes, and informers,"
whom they mail have occafion to mention ; other-
iwife it will not be poflible for us to adjuft our ftyle
to the different qualities and capacities of the perfcn
iconcerned, and treat them with the refpect or fa-
imiliarity, that may be due to their ftations and
1 characters, which we are determined to obferve with
the utmoft ftrictnefs, that none may have caufe to
complain.
4* ■§••$• && 4**$* $*•#■ •$*•& *$**$■ <!•*$"$• $ •$* ♦ «$•«$•♦$*
NUMBER III.
Ipfe per cranes
lblt per Jonas ^ et tut bam reddet in unam.
THe players having now almoft done with the
comedy called the Beggar's Opera for the fea-
fon ; it may be no unpleafent fpeculation, to reflect
a little upon this dramatic piece, fo Angular in the
iubject and manner, fo much an original, and
which hath frequently given fo very agreeable an
entertainment *.
Athough an evil tafte be very apt to prevail,
both here and in London ; yet there is a point,
which whoever can rightly touch will never fail of
plealing a very great majority ; fo great, that the
* See Lemss to aad from Vt, Swift,
diflikers,
234 THE INTELLIGENCER. No 3;
diflikers, out of dulnefs or affectation, will be filcnt,
and forced to fall in with the herd : the point I
mean is, what we call humour ; which, in its per-
fection, is allowed to be much preferable to wit ;
if it be not rather the moil ufeful and agreeable
fpecies of it.
I agree with Sir William Temple, that the word
is peculiar to our Englilh tongue ; but I differ from
him in the opinion, that the thing itfelf is peculiar
to the Englifh nation ; becaufe the contrary may be
found in many Spanifh, Italian, and French pro-
ductions : and particularly, whoever hath a tafte
for true humour, will find an hundred inftances of
it in thefe volumes printed in France under the
name of he Theatre Italien ; to fay nothing of Ra-
belais, Cervantes, and many others.
Now, I take the comedy, or farce, (or whatever
name the critics will allow it), called the Beggar's
Opera to excel in this article of humour ; and,
upon that merit, to have met with fuch prodigious
fuccefs, both here and in England.
As to poetry, eloquence, and mufic, which are
faid to have moft power over the minds of men ;
it is certain, that very few have a tafte or judgment
of the excellencies of the two former ; and if a man
iucceed in either, it is upon the authority of thofe
few judges, that lend their tafte to the bulk of
readers, who have none of their own. I am told
there are as few good judges in mufic ; and that ,
among thofe who croud the operas, nine in ten
go thither merely out of curiofity, fafhion, or af-
fectation.
But a tafte for humour is in fome manner fixed
to the very nature of man, and generally obvious
to the vulgar, except upon fubjects too refined, and
fuperior to their underftanding.
And as this tafte of humour is purely natural,
fo is humour itfelf; neither is it a talent confined
to men of wit or learning ; for we obferve it fome-
times
Jo 3. THE INTELLIGENCER. %t$
imcs among common fervants, and the mcaneft of
,he people, while the very owners are often igno-
ant of the gift they poflHs.
I know very well, that this happy talent is con-
:mptibly treated by critics, under the name of low
umour, or low comedy ; but I know likewife that
le Spaniards and Italians, who are allowed to have
le molt wit of any nations in Europe, do moil
xcel in it, and do moft efteem it.
By what difpofition of the mind, what influence
if the ftars, or what fituation of the climate, this
adowment is beftowed upon mankind, may be a
jueftion fit for philofophers to difcufs. It is cer-
linly the beft ingredient towards that kind of fa-
ire which is moft ufeful, and gives the leaft of-
fence ; which, inftead of lafhing, laughs men out
If their follies and vices ; and is the character that
gives Horace the preference to Juvenal.
And although fome things are too ferious, fo-
umn, or facred, to be turned into ridicule, yet
Bie abufes of them are certainly not ; fince it is
((lowed, that corruptions in religion, politics, and
Iw, may be proper topics for this kind of fatire.
There are two ends that men propofe in writing
■tire : one of them lefs noble than the other, as
u:garding nothing further than the private fatisfac
bo and pleafure of the writer ; but without any
jew towards perfonal malice : the other is a pub-
c fpirit, prompting men of genius and virtue to
tyend the world as far as they are able. And as
kth thefe ends are innocent, fo the latter is high-
I commendable. With regard to the former I
> smand, whether I have not as good a title to laugh
; men have to be ridiculous ; and to expofe vice,
I another hath to be vitious. If I ridicule the fol-
ios and corruptions of a court, a miniftry, or a fe-
, ite, are they not amply paid by penfions, titles,
fid power, while I expect and deflre no other re-
rard, than that of laughing with a few friends in
286 THE INTELLIGENCER. No
a earner ? yet if tliofe who take offence think n ;
in the wrong, I am ready to change the fcene wii
them whenever they pleafe.
But if my defign be to make mankind bette l
then I think it is my duty ; at leaft, I am fure it
the intereft of thofe very courts and minifter
v/hofe follies or vices I ridicule, to reward me f(
my good intentions : for if it be reckoned a hig
point of wifdom to get the laughers on our fid
it is much more eafy, as well as wife, to get tho |
on our fide, who can make millions laugh wht
they pleafe.
My reafon for mentioning courts and minifter
" (whom I never think on but with the moft pn
(i found veneration)," is, becaufe an opinion o
tains, that in the Beggar's Opera there appears i
be fome reflection upon courtiers and ftatefme:
whereof I am by no means a judge.
It is true, indeed, that Mr. Gay, the author <l
this piece, hath been fomewhat lingular in til
courie of his fortunes; for it hath happened, th;|
after fourteen years attending the court, with
large ftock of real merit, a modeft and agreeab
converfation, a hundred promifes, and five hur
dred friends, he hath failed of preferment ; an
upon a very weighty reafon. He lay under tfc
fufpicion of having written a libel or lampoon i
gainft a great minifter *. It is true, that great m
nifter was demonftratively convinced, and publicl
owned his -conviction, that Mr. Gat was not th
author ; but having lain under the fufpicion,
i eemed very juft that he mould finTer the punifh
ment ; becaufe, in this moft reformed age, the vii
tues of a prime minifter are no more to be fufpeel
ed, than the chaftity of Ciefar's wife.
' It muft be allowed, that the Beggar's Opera i
not the firft of Mr. Gay's works, wherein he had
# Sir Robert Walpole, afccrwarJs Earl of Orford.
b<*i
tfoj. THE INTELLIGENCER. 287
been faulty with regard to courtiers and ltatefmen.
for to omit his other pieces; even in his fables,
:>ubliihed within two years paft, and dedicated to
,Jie Duke of Cumberland, for which he was pro-
nifed a reward, he hath been thought fomewhat
00 bold upon the courtiers. And although it be
lighly probable he meant, only the courtiers of for-
jner times, yet he acted unwarily, by not confider-
ng, that the malignity of fome people might mif-
jnterpret what he laid to the difadvantage of pre-
sent perfons and affairs.
But I have now done with Mr. Gay as a politi-
,ian ; and fhail conflder him henceforward only as
■Uthor of the Beggar's Opera, wherein he haih,
:»y a turn of humour, entirely new, placed vices
Af all kinds in the ftrongeft and moil odious light;
,nd diereby done eminent fervice both to religion
nd morality. This appears from the unparalleiled
luccefs he hath met with. All ranks, parties, and
denominations of men, either crouding to fee his
Ipera, or reading it with delight in their clofets ; even
pmifters of ftate, whom he is thought to have moil:
offended, (next to thofe whom the actors reprefent),
Ippearing frequently at the theatre, from a con-
fcioufnefs of their own innocence, and to convince
tie world how unjuft a parallel malice, envy, and
lifafrection to the government have made.
,;I am allured, that feveral worthy clergymen in
Jjiis city went privately to fee the Beggar's Opera
(eprefented ; and that the fleering coxcombs in the
lit amufed themfclves with .making difcoveries, and
Lreading the names of thofe gentlemen round the
udience.
I fhall not pretend to vindicate a clergyman who
Lould appear openly in his habit at a theatre, with
I ich a vitious crew as might probibly ltand round
I im, at fuch comedies and profane tragedies as are
f ften reprefented. Beildes, I know very well, that
I erfons of their function are bound - to avoid the
appearance
283 THE INTELLIGENCER. No
appearance of evil, or of giving caufe of ofFenc
But when the Lords Chancellors, who are keepe
of the King's confcience ; when the Judges of tl
land, whole title is reverend; when ladies, wr
are bound by the rules of their fex to the ftrictt:
decency, appear in the theatre without cenfure ;
cannot underftand, why a young clergyman, wr.
comes concealed out of curiofity to fee an innoce:
and moral play, fhould be fo highly condemned
nor do I much approve the rigour of a great pr j
late, who faid, " he hoped none of his clergy we:
" there." I am glad to hear there are no weighl
er objections againlt that reverend body, plant*
in this city, and I wifh there never may. But
fhould be very forry that any of them mould 1
fo weak, as to imitate a court chaplain in Englan
who preached againft the Beggar's Opera, whk
will probably do more good, than a thoufand fe
mons of fo ftupid, fo injudicious, and fo proltitu I
a divine *.
In this happy performance of Mr. Gay's all tl
characters are juft, and none of them carried h
yond nature, or hardly beyond practice. It difal
vers the whole fyftem of that commonwealth, or th;
imperium in imperii of iniquity eftabliihed amon
us, by which neither our lives or our properties ai
fecure, either in the highways, or in public afleiT
blies, or even in our own houies. It ihews the m
ferable lives, and the conftant fate of thofe aban
doncd wretches : for how little they fell their live
and fouls ; betra\ed by their whores, their come
rades, and the receivers and purchafers of thoi !
thefts and robberies. This comedy contains like;
wife a fatire, which, without inquiring whether i
affects the prefent age, may poffibly be ufeful ii
* Dr. Thomas Heron, chaplain to the foctety at Lincoln's inn
afterwards Bifhop of Bangor, after that Aichbiihop of York, aui
now Archbifhop of Canterbury,
time*
No. 3. THE INTELLIGENCER. iS9
times to come. I mean, where the author takes
the occafion of comparing thole common robbers
of the public, and their feveral ftratagems of betr ly-
I ing, underminining, and hanging each other, to
I the feveral arts of politicians in times of corrup-
|tion.
This comedy likewife expofeth, with great ju-
(ftice, that unnatural taire for Italian muiic among
,us, which is wholly unfuitable to our northern eli-
minate and the genius of the people, whereby we are
^over-run with the Italian effeminacy, and Italian
inonfenfe. An old gentleman faid to me, that ma-
ny years ago, when the practice of an unnatural
ijvice grew frequent in London, and many were pro-
secuted for it, he was fure it would be the forerun-
■iner of Italian operas and lingers ; and then we
,,fhould want nothing but (tabbing, or poifoning, 10
.jmake us perfect Italians.
Upon the whole, I deliver my judgement, that
nothing but fervile attachment to a party, affecta-
tion of Angularity, lamentable duinefs, mi/Hken
seal, or ftudied hypocrify, can have the leaft rea-
fonable objection againft this excellent moral per-
formance of the celebrated Mr. Gay.
rVcL.IV. Bb NUMBER
j9o THE INTELLIGENCER. No. 15
N U*M B E R XV *
Lamentations ii. 19.
jfrife, cry cut in the night ; in the beginning of tl
ivatch.es pour out thine heart like water before the fat
of the Lord ; lift up thy hands towards him, for tl
life of the young children, that faint for hunger i
the top of every Jlreet*
T Remember to have read an account, that an oc
•*■ which Pindar writ in honour of the ifland Delo
was inscribed in the temple of Minerva at Athen I
id large letters of gold. A public and very laudab |i
acknowledgement for the poet's ingenuity, and fc
no more than a bare compliment ! Such was the ei
couragement given by the great and public-fpiritc
Athenians. Had the fame poet, infpired by a nob
and heroic ardour, by another ode awakened an
roufed their whole ftate againft an invading enenv
or opened their eyes againft any fecret and wicke
contrivers of their destruction, they would ha^
erected him a ftatue at leaft. But, alas ! that fp
rit is fled from the world, and long fince neglec
cd. Virtue is become her own paymafter. IV]
countrymen, I hope, will forgive me, if I complai
there has been fo little notice taken of a fmall, bi
moft excellent pamphlet, written by the Drapie
It is intitied, A fmrt view of the Jtate of Irchu
["above, p. 53.I. There never was any treati
yet publilhed, with a zeal more generous for the 1
* S;e above, p. 280. in the no'-es.
niverfil
No. 1 5. THE INTELLIGENT ER. 291
niverfal good of a nation, or a defign more fealbn-
able, coniidering our prefent lamentable condition :
yet we lilten not to the voice of the charmer.
Whereas it fhould have been infcribcd in capital let-
ters, (as glorious as thofe of the poet), in the molt
public part of every corporation-town through this
whole kingdom, that people might behold the fe-
veral unprovoked caules of their poverty, our of-
fences towards heaven excepted. Nay, I will pro-
ceed further, and fay, that every head of every fa?
milv ouuht to inftru& his children fo far in this moll
incomparable pamphlet, that they fhould not only
under ft and, but be able to repeat by heart every
ilngle paragraph through- the whole. This was the
method laid down bv the wifeit law giver that ever
the world produced, to gain the hearts of the
people, by working upon their memories-; Dent.
vi. 7, 8, y. " And thou flialt teach them diiigent4-
" ly unto thy children, and flialt talk of them
" when thou fitteft in thine houie, and when thou
walkeft by the way, and when thou Heft down,
and when thou rifeft up. And thou flialt bind
them for a fign upon thine hand, and they (hall
be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou
flialt write them upon the poits of thy houie,
and on thy gates."
And where would b^ the great trouble, fmce we
ave little die to do, if every man would read a
ecture of the fhort view every day in his family,
fter reading prayers ?. Nor do I think the expenfe
ould be extravagant, if he fiiould liave every page
f it reprinted, to be hung np in frames in every
hamber of hishoufe ; that it might be as evident
s the hand writing on the wall.
And iince I have ventured thus far to praife and
commend this moft inimitable piece, let me fpeak
few words in favour of its Author.
I would propofe to my countrymen before all their
:oney goes off, (it is going as faft as poflible), to
convert'
Db
202
THE INTELLIGENCER.
No. 19
convert it into a few ftatues to the D rapier in thof
memorable parts of this kingdom, where our he
roes have fhone with the greatest Inure in defenc
of our liberty, and the Prof eft ant religion over a'
Europe ; at Deny, avEnmJkijJing, at Boyne, at Augk
rim. Nor would it be amifs to fet up a few mor
about our metropolis, with that glorious inicriptior
Lihei tas et natale fohtm.
If our money were metamorphofed upon fuch
good occafion as this, it would not be in the powc
of any Cypfelus *, to get it into his own coffers
and it would be the only method to prevent its beiti
carried off, except our viceroys mould act like tr
l\ oman prefects, and run away with our very ft;
tues.
Courteous reader, mark well what follows.
" I am arTured, that it hath for lome time bee
•* praclifed," &c. [Here The Jbort view of the Jta
of Ireland, was infer ted verbatim J
€#<&&$$0#£<$###<3>#®0#$ SOS $$###$<•># %
N U MBER XIX.
Sic vos 11011 vobis velleraferth, oves..
[N. P. In the following difcpurfe the author petfonatcsa counti
fertleman in the north or Ireland. And this tetter is ilppoied
direclt d to the Drapicr. J
HAving, on the 1 2th of October lafl, received!',
letter, figned Andrew Dealer, and P.B.
trick Pennyless, I believe the following papeljjj
* Cypfelus, a governor of Corinth, who con'.rived a tax whil
bivughr all lbs money of that flat? to himleJf in ten jears tiirj
A> l/t, i\t\r.
No. 10. THE INTELLIGENCER . 293
jnft come to my hands, will be a fufticient anfwer
to it.
S I R,
T AM a country-gentleman, and a member of
A parliament, with an t irate of about 1400I. a-
year ; which, as a northern landlord, I receive
from above two hundred tenants : and my lands
having been let near twenty years ago, the rents,
until very lately, were efteemed to be not above half
value ; yet, by the intolerable fcarcity oi filver, I lie
under the greateft difficulties in receiving them, as
well as in paying my labourers, or buying any thing
neceflary for my family from tradefmen, who are
not able to be long out of their money. But the
fuflc rings of me, and thofe my rank, are trifles in
companion of what the meaner fort undergo; fuch
as the buyers and fellers at fairs and markets ; the
fhopkeepers in every town ; the farmers in general ;
all thofe who travel with jfifh, poultry, pedlary-
ware, and other conveniencics to fe'l : but more
efpecially handicraftfmen, who work for us by the
day ; and common labourers, whom I have already
mentioned. Both thefe kind of people I am for-
ced to employ until their wages amount to a'
double piftole or a moidore, (for we hardly have
my gold of lower value left us), to divide it among
hemfelves as they can : and this is generally done
it an alehoufe or brandyihop ; where, befides the
oft of getting drunk, (which is vfually the cafe),
hey mult pay ten-pence or a (hilling for changing;
heir piece into filver to fome huckftering fellow,
rho follows that trade. But what is infinitely worfe,
ofe poor men, for want of due payment, are for-
fled to take up their oatmeal and other neceiTaries
i»f life at almoit. double value; and confequently
re not able to difcharge half their fcore, efpeci.il-
under the fcarccnefs of corn for two years pair,
Bb 3 and.
294 THE INTELLIGENCER. No. 19.
and the melancholy difappointment of the prefent
crop.
The caufes of this, and a thoufand other evils,
are clear and manlfeft to you and all thinking men.
although hidden from the vulgar. Thefe indeec
complain of hard times, the dearth of corn, the
want of money, the badnefs of feafons ; that theii
goods bear no price, and the poor cannot fine
work ; but their weak reafonings never carry then
to the hatred and contempt borne us by our neigh
bours and brethren, without the leaft ground of pro
vocation, who rejoice at ourfuilerings, altho' fome
times to their own disadvantage. They confider no
the dead weight upon every beneficial branch ofou
trade ; that half our revenues are annually fent t
England ; with many other grievances peculiar t
this unhappy kingdom ; which keeps us from er
joying the common benefits of mankind ; as yo
and fome other lovers of their country have fo ofte
obferved with fuch good inclinations, and fo litt]|i
fc£e&.
It is true indeed, that under our circumftana
in general this complaint for the want offilver ma
appear as ridiculous, as for a man to be nupatiei
about a cut finger, when he is ftruck with tr
plague ; and yet a poor fellow going to the galloy
may be allowed to feel the fmart of wafps, whi
he 'is upon Tyburn road. This misfortue is j
urging, andr vexatious in every kind of final! tram
and fo hourly preflmg upon all perfons in tl
country whatfoever, that a hundred inconveniei
cics of perhaps greater moment in themfelves hai
been tamely fubmitteel to with far lefs difquietuc
and murmurs. And the cafefeems yet the hardeln
if it be true, what many ikilful men aflert, that n<
thing is more eafy than a remedy ; and that the wai
of fiber, in proportion to the little gold remainirfc:
among us, is altogether as unnecefTary, as it is iiR:
convenient. A perfon of diftinction aluued it
vei
No 1 9. THE INTELLIGENCER. 295
verv lately, that, in difcourfing with the Lord
Lieutenant * before his laft return to England, his
Excellency faid, " He had prefled the matter of-
" ten, in proper time and place, and to proper
" perfons and could not fee any difficulty of the
a leaft moment, that could prevent us from be-
iC ing made eafy upon this article,"
Whoever carries to England twentv-feven En?-
g'iih (hillings, and brings back one moidore of full
weight, is a gainer of nine pence Iriih : in a gui-
nea, the advantage is three pence ; and two pence
in a piftole. The Bankers, who are generally ma-
tters of all our gold and filver with this ^advantage, .
have lent over as much of the latter, as earn e into
their hands. The value of one thoufand moidores
in filver would thus amount in clear profit to 37 1.
10 s. The fhopkeepers, and other traders, who go
to London to buy goods, followed the fame prac-
tice ; by which we have been driven into this in-
fup portable diftrefs.
To a common thinker it mould feem, that no-
thing would be more eafy, than for the govern-
ment to redrefs this evil, at any time they fhall
pleafe. When the value of guineas was lowered
in England from 21s. and 0 d. to only 21 s. the
cenfequence to this kingdom were obvious, and ma-
nifeft to us all : and a fober man may be allowed
J
at leaft to wonder, although he dare not complain,
why a new regulation of coin among us was not
then made ; much more, why it hath never been
fince. It would furely require no very profound
ikill in algebra to reduce the difrerence of nine
pence in thirty {hillings, or three pence in a guinea
to lefs than a farthing ; and fo fmall a fraction
could be no temptation either to bankers, to ha-
zard their filver at fea, or tradefmen to load them-
felves with it in their journeys to England. In my
humble opinion, it would be no unreafonale con-
* The Lo:d Carteret.
defcenfion,
296 THE INTELLIGENCER. No 19,
deicenfion, if the goverment would gracioufly
pleafe to fignify to the poor loyal ProteftantfubjecT:s
of Ireland, either that this miferable want of iilver
is not pofUb'e to be remedied in any degree by the
nicer! {kill in arithmetic ; or elfe, that it doth not
Hand with the good pleafure of England, to fuffer
any filver at all among us. In the former cafe, it
would be madnefs to expect impofTibiliues ; and in
the other, we muft fubmit ; for lives and fortunes
are always at the mercy of the Conqueror.
The qneftion hath been often put in printed pa-
pers, by the Drapier and others, or perhaps, by
the fame writer under different jfryles,. why this
kingdom fhouid not be permitted to have a mint
of its own for the coinage of gold, iilver, and cop-
per ; which is a power exercifed by many bifhops,-
and every petty prince in Germany ? But this
queftion hath never been anfwered ; nor the leaft
application, that I have heard of, made to the
crown from hence for the grant of a public mint;.
altho7 it ftands upon record that feveral cities and
corporations here had the liberty of coining iilver.
I can fee no reafons why we alone of all nations,
are thus restrained, but liich as I dare not mention :
only thus far I may venture, that Ireland is the
firii imperial kingdom fince Nimrod, which ever,
wanted power to coin their own money.
1 know very well, that in England it is lawful-
for any fuhjedt to petition either the prince or the
parliament, provided it be done in a dutiful and
regular manner : but what is lawful for a fubject
of Ireland, I profefs I cannot. determine ; nor will
undertake, that the printer {hall not be profecuted
in a court of juftice far publiihing my wilhes, that
a poor fhopkeeper might be able to change a guinea
or a moidore, when a cuftomer comes for a crown's
worth of goods. I have known lefs crimes puni fil-
ed with the utmoft feverity, under the title of dif-
affection. And I cannot but approve the wifdom
of
No 19. THE INTELLIGENCER. 297
of the ancients, who, after Aftrea had fled from
the earth, at leaft took care to provide three up-
right judges for hell. Mens ears among us are in-
deed grown lb nice, that whoever happens to think
out of fafhion, in what relates to the welfare of
this kingdom, dare not ib much as complain of
the toothach, left our weak and buly dabblers in
politics fhould be ready to fwear againft him for
disaffection.
There was a method praclifed by Sir Ambrofe
Crawley, the great dealer in iron-works, which I
wonder the gentlemen of our country under this
great exigence have not thought fit to imitate. In
the feverai towns and villages where he dealt, and
many miles round, he gave notes inftead of money
from two pence), which pafTed current in all fhops
and markets, as well as in houfes, where meat and
drink was fold. I {cc no reafon why the like prac-
tice may not be introduced among us with fome de-
gree of fuccefs : or at leaft may not ferve as a poor
exoedient in this our biffed age of paper ; which, as
it difchargeth all our great*ft payments, may ce
equally ufeful in the fmaller, and may juft keep us
alive until an Englifh act of parliament {hall for-
bid it.
I have been told, that among fome of our poor-
eft American colonies upon the continent, the peo-
ple enjoy the liberty of cutting the little money a-
mong them into halves and quarters for the con-
veniences of fmall traffic. How happy fhould we
be in comparifon of our prefent condidon, if the
like privilege were granted to us of employing the
fheers for want of a mint, upon our foreign gold,
by clipping it into half-crowns and millings, and
even lower denominations ; for beggars muft be
content to live upon fcraps ; and it would be our
felicity, that thele fcraps could never be exported
to other countries, while any thing better was
left,
If
2oS THE INTELLIGENCER. No if
If neither of thefe projects will avail, I fee no-
thing left us but to truck and barter our qoods like
the wild Indians with each other, or with our toe
powerful neighbours ; only with this difadvantage
on our fide, that the Indians enjoy the product oJ
their own land ; whereas the better half of ours u
fent- away, without fo much as a recompenfe in
bugles or glafs in return.
It muft needs be a. very comfortable cirumftancs
in the prefentjuncture, that ibme thou fan d fami-
lies are gone, are going, or preparing to go from
hence and fettle themfelves in America : the poorei
fort for want of work ; the farmers, whofe be-
neficial bargains are now become a rack-rent toe
hard to be borne, and thofe who have any read}
money, or can purchafe any by the fale of their
goods or leafes, becaufe they find their fortunes
hourlv decaying, that their jroods will bear no
price, and that few or none have any money to buy
the very neceflaries cf life, are haftening to follow
their departed neighbours. It is true, corn among
us carries a very high price ; but it is for the fame
reafon, that rats, and cats, and dead horfes havs
been often bought for gold in a town befieged.
There is a perfon of quality in my neighbour-
hood, who twenty years ago, when he was juft
come to age, being unexperienced, and of a gene-
rous temper, let his lands, even as times went then,
at a low rate to able tenants; and ^onfequently by
the rife of land frnce that time looked upon his e-
ftate to be fet at half value : but numbers'? of
thefe tenants or their defcendants arc now offering
to fell their leafes by cant *, even thefe which were
for lives, fome of them renewable for ever, and
fome fee-farms, which the landlord himfclf hath
bought in at half the price they would have yielded
{even years ago. And fome leafes let at the fame
* Cant or cu<ft!on,
time.
No 19. THE INTELLIGENCER. 299
time for lives have been given up to him without
any conllderation at all.
This is the raoft favourable face of all things at
prefent among us ; I fay, among us of the north,
who are efteemed the only thriving people of the
kingdom. And how far, and how loon this nai-
lery and defolation may fpread, is eafy to forefee.
The vail fums of money daily carried off by our
numerous adventurers to America, have deprived us
of our gold in thefe parts, almoft as much as of
our filver. And the good wives who come to our
houfes offer us their pieces of linen, upon which
their whole dependence lies, for fo little profit, that
it can neither half-pay their rents, nor half lup-
port their families.
It is remarkable, that this enthufiafm fpread a-
mong our northern people, of fheltering them-
felves in the continent of America, hath no other
foundation than their prefent infupportable condi-
tion at home. I have made all poffible inquiries
to learn what encouragement our people have met
with, by any intelligence from thole plantations,
fufficient to make them undertake fo tedious and
hazardous a voyage, in all feafons of the year, aud
fo ill accommodated in their fhips, that many of
them have died miferably in their paffage, but
could never get one fatisfactory anfwer. Somebody,
they know not who, had written a letter to his
friend or coufin from thence, inviting him by
all means to come over; that it was a fine fruit-
ful country, and to be held for ever at a penny an
acre. But the tnuh of the fact is this : the EncUfh
eftablilhed in thofe colonies are in great want of men
to inhabit that tract of ground, which lies between
them and the wild Indians, who are not reduced
under their dominion. We read of fome barbar-
ous people, whom the Romans placed in their ar-
my for no other fervice than to blunt their enemies
fwords. and afterwards to fill up trenches with their
dead
^oo THE INTELLIGENCER. No 19.
dead bodies. And thus our people, who tranfport
themfelves, are fettled in thofe interjacent tracts, as
a fcreen againft the infults of the favages ; and may
have as much lands as they can clear from the
woods at a very reafonable rate, if they can afford
to pay about a hundred years purchafe by their la-
bour. Now, beiides the fox's reafon *, which in-
clines all thofe who have already ventured thither
to reprefent every thing in a falfe light, as well for
juftifying their own conduct, as for getting compa-
nions in their mifery, the governing people in
thofe plantations have alio wifely provided, that nc
letters mail be fuffered to pafs from thence hither
without being firlt viewed by the council ; by which
our people here are wholly deceived in the opinion.'
they have of the happy condition of their friend?
gone before them. This was accidental) v difco-
vered fome months ago by an honeft man, who hav-
ing tranfported himfelf and family thither, and find-
ing all things directly contrary to his hope, had the
luck to convey a private note by a faithful hand to
his relation here, entreating him not to think of
fuch a voyage, and to difcourage all his friends
from attempting it. Yet this, although it be a
truth well known, hath produced very little effect ;
which is no manner of wonder : for as it is natural
to a man in a fever to turn often, although with-
out any hope of eafe ; or when he is purfued, to
leap down a precipice to avoid an enemy juft at his
back ; fo men in the extremeit degree of mifery
and want will naturally fly to the rirft appearance
of relief, let it be ever fo vain orvilionarv.
You may obferve, that I have very fuperficially
touched the fubject I began with, and with the ut-
moft caution ; for I know how criminal the leaft
complaint hath been thought, however feafonable,
* The fox who, having loft his tail would have perfuaded the reft
to cut off theii s.
or
No 19. THE INTELLIGENCER. 301
or juft or h'oneftly intended, which hath forced me
to offer up my daily prayers, that it may never, at
leaft in my time, be interpreted by inuendos as a falfe,
fcandalous, ieditious, and difarTecled action for a
man to roar under an acute fit of the gout ; which,
befides the lofs and the danger, would be very in-
convenient to one of my age, fo feverly afflicted
with that diftemper.
I wifh you good fuccefs, but I can promife you
little, in an ungrateful office you have taken up
without the leaft view either to reputation or pro-
fit. Perhaps your comfort is, that none but vil-
lains and betrayers of their country can be your e-
nemies. Upon which I have little to fay having
not the honour to be acquainted with many of that
fort ; and therefore, as you may eafily believe, am
compelled to lead a very retired life.
I am, Sir,
Your moft obedient
Humble fervant,
A. North,
County of Down,
Dec, 2, 1728.
Vol. IV. Cc REMARKS
C 3°2 J
REMARKS, on Dr. Swift's Tracts
relating to Ireland.
Taken from Mr. Dean Swift's Essay.
**HESE tracts may, for any thing I know to the
contrary, be thought local and temporary ;
and perhaps for that reaion may chance to be ne-
glected by fucceeding generations ; which happens
to be the fate of almolt all other points of hiitory,
excepting thofe only which are fniily fupported by
the clamour and virulence of contending parties,
according to their feveral views and intereils in the
commonwealth. But as the writings of Dr. Swift,
and particularly the Drapier's letters, are founded |
on the fecure bafis of the laws of his country, and
fupported throughout the whole with the warmefl
zeal for liberty, they will for ever command the
veneration of thofe who are not unworthy to. enjoy
the bleihngs of our conftitution. For although il
be a truth fcarce ever regarded, the fubjedt-mattei
which happens to give rife to any political treatife
whatfcever is but of little confequence ; -that fpiril
which is conveyed in the writings of a patriot, who
is equally faithful to his King and country, being
that alone which improveth our faculties, and
therefore hath a claim to all the deepen: of our at-
tention, let what age or nation foever boalt of the
honour of his genius. But if the inhabitants oi
thefe nations, and particularly the people of Ire-
land, will continue to be like the deaf adder, which
refufeth to hear the voice of the charmer, charm
lie never fo wifely, the time may come;, when, forL
want of a patriot infpired like Dr. Swift to apprifeij;
them
REMARKS ON SWIFT's TRACTS. 303
them of their danger, they may be doomed to chains
and flavery, by the contrivance of fome wicked im-
poilor that may lie in wait for their deftruction.
Ooniider therefore, ye fons of Ireland, what hard-
fhips had like to have been inflicted upon your
wife, your courageous patriot ; coniider what per-
fections were fet on foot againft him by Haves and
wretches, for no other crime but that of defending
your liberties, or rather indeed for maintaining
the very exiftence of your country, againft one vile
infianificant mechanic. Think not becaufe that e-
vil day is paff, that in the womb of time there
cannot be any further projects to undermine
your liberties. Have ye not feen pretended pa-
triots of late years, which have proitituted their
impious pens to ferve the vileft purpofts ? But
thanks be to God ! their writings have perifhed,
and their names are univerfally pronounced with
abhorrence, contempt, and execration. Read
therefore, and imbibe the political principles of Dr.
Swift ; engrave them on the tablet of your hearts ;
teach them unto vour childrens children ; and a-
bove all things remember to fix an indelible mark
of infamy upon thofe men who by their words, their
actions, and other wicked iniinuating artifices, endea-
vour to fap the vitals of your liberty. For be af-
fured, that in the day of trial they will approve
themfelves to their mailers to be corrupted flaves
and traitors to their country.
As to the piece, intitled, A Jbort view cf the
fiate of Ireland, written in 1727, [above, p. 53.]
I cannot but declare myfelf heartily forry, that I
am forced to difaareewith LordOrrerv with regard
to his critic on it [above, p. 61.]. For furely a-
mong all the pleafures and delights which have any
refpect unto this habitable world, there can be none
more generous, more intellectual, and more divine,
than to rejoice in the prosperity of our country.
But alas \ the miferies of Ireland being the effects
C c 2 of
3o4 REMARKS ON SWIFT's TRACTS .
of a thoufand caufes, are, I am afraid, incurable,
At leaft all remedies but one (which is abolifhing
the ufe of gold and illver out of the whole commu-
nity ; a fcheme too philofophical, and perhaps too
chimerical for fo corrupted an age to reduce into
practice) appear to be fo exceedingly defperater
that I verily believe it would require a legiflator et-
ernal to the conductor of the Ifraelites out of the
land of Egypc> to make them a rich and flourifhing
people, notwithstanding the fertility of their foil,
and the temperature of their climate.
I wonder that any man could poffibly refide for
the greater part of eighteen years in Ireland, with-
out remarking, to his infinite regret, that no peo-
ple to the Chriftian world are fo deftitute of rai-
ment, food, and all :he conveniences of life, as the
inhabitants of that wretched kingdom, notwith-
standing that by God and nature it is perhaps the
moft favoured of any country upon earth. Optima
natio, pejjima gens, was, I remember, Dr. Swift's
periphrafis for Ireland, whenever his patriot indig-
nation was raifed againft the abfurdity of their con-
duct and politics.
In the Short Vieiv the Doctor enumerates four-
teen caufes of any country's flourifhing and grow-
ing rich, and then examines what effects arife from
thefe caufes in Ireland. I am well convinced, that
Ibine few alterations have taken place fince 1727.
But whether in fact thefe alterations have at all
contributed to the intereft of the weal public ; or
whether it appears they have had the leaft effect to-
wa; ds banifhing complaining from our ftreets, is at
prefent one of the points to be coniidered ; and the
other is, how far the remarks of Dr. Swift are e-
cmally true at this day as they were in 1727.
I cannot but iniift upon it, that Ireland, with re-
gard to twelve articles out of the fourteen is juft in
the fame condition, and labours under the fame
difadvan-
REMARKS ON SWIFT's TRACTS. 305
difadvantages, this preient year 1754, as it did in
the year 1727.
With refpect ro the feventh article [above, p 54,
56.2, which concerns the improvement of land,,
and the encouragement of agriculture, Ireland is
by far in a worfe fituation at prefent than it was in
1727, notwithstanding many appearances to the
contrary. For although it be certain that great im-
provements, and particularly the iineft roads per-
haps in the world, have been made imcethat epoch,
flocks and herds have been only thereby multiplied.
And although it be alTertcd by Lord Orrery [above,
p. 61.] that agriculture is cultived (/. e. that the
culture of land is cultivated) in Ireland ; the great-
er part of the hufbandraen, the labourers, and the
poor, have, merely for the fake of thole curled
cattle which are the bane of Ireland, been driven,
out of their wretched habitations, and baniihed the
country, helplefs, naked and forlorn ■ to rot,.
[ftarye*, and perifh in defolate places, to the great
diminution of the inhabitants.
And as to the fourteenth article [above, p. 58.]
the people of Ireland, by their folly, their mad-
icfs, their luxury, and difregard to' all public in-
:ereft,^ are by many degrees'in a more wretched
:ondition than they were in 1727 ; the molt com-
non necefTaries, even their corn, their ale, and.
heir potatoes being, to the fhame and confuiion of
jheir politics, imported from abroad, as well as
\eir tea, their claret, and their fpices.
As to the pamphlet, intitled, A mbdeft propofa!,.
c. [above, p. 237.], it is a humous treatiie, e-
ually the produce of defpair and benevolence; and
emeth to have been written in the bitternefs of the
ean's foul, and principally addreiTed to the con-
oration of thofe mercilefs tyrants which ftarve and
iprefs their fellow-creatures, even to the fhame
d deftruttion of their country. His propofal is,
fatten up the children of beggars, cottagers,.
Cc 3 aacl
306 REMARKS ON SWIFT's TRACTS.
and farmers, as they do lambs and pigs for the
markets, and fell their carcafes to the rich ; a food
which he declares to be very proper for landlords ;
who, as they have already devoured moft of the pa-
rents, feem to have the beft title to their children.
As to Dr. Swift's political tracts relating to Ire-
land, wherein the rights of the clergy and the caufe
of Chriftianity are exprefsly and immediatly con-
cerned, I mall only obferve in general, that Swift,
being a thorough matter of politics, and, far be-
yond all the wifeft of his contemporaries, deeply!
verfed in the hiftory of parties, could difcover at a
furpriiing diftance the natural confequences of thofe
efforts which had been frequently made during th(
time he flouriihed, to fubvert our happy coniiitu
tion both of church and flate ; info much that In
appears from a great variety of his traces, to hav<
been one of the moll: fagacious watchmen that eve.
was known in the church of Chriit. i>ivift>
m
TRAVEL
u
of
\U
E 307 3
TRAVELS
Into feveral remote Nations of the World.
By LEMUEL GULLIVER, firft a Surgeon,
and then a Captain of feveral (hips.
,.,,_,,,. ■ ^ ■ 1 -11 mil 1 - - - - 1 J nil 1 —^— "**"• "— '
In FOUR PARTS.
The Publisher to the Reader.
THE author of thefe travels, Mr. Lemuel Gul-
liver, is my ancient and intimate friend ; there
is likewife fome relation between us on the mother's
fide. About three years ago, Mr. Gulliver, grow-
ing weary of the concourfe of curious people com-
ing to him at his houfe in Redriff, made a fmall
purchafe of land, with a convenient houfe, near
Newark in Nottinghamfhire, his' native country,
where he now lives retired, yet in good efteem a-
mong his neighbours.
Although Mr. Gulliver was born in Nottingham-
fhire, where his father dwelt, yet I have heard him
fay, his family came from Oxfordshire ; to confirm
which, I have obferved in the church yard at Ban-
bury, in that county, feveral tombs and monuments
of the Gullivers.
Before he quitted RedrifF, he left the cuftody of
the following papers in my hands, with the liberty
to
3o8 The PUBLISHER to the READER.
to difpofe of them as I mould think fit. I have
carefully perufed them three times : the fbyle is very
plain and fimple ; and the only fault I find is; that
the author, after the manner of travellers, is a lit-
tle too circumfrantial. There is an air of truth
apparent through the whole ; and indeed the au-
thor was fo diftinguimed for his veracity, that
it became a fort of a proverb among his neigh-
bours at RedrifF, when any one affirmed a thing,
to fay it was as true as if Mr. Gulliver had fpo-
ken it.
By the advice of feveral worthy perfons, to;
whom, with the author's permiflion, I communi-
cated thefe papers, I now venture to fend them in.-
to the world, hoping they may be, at leaft for
fome time, a better entertainment to our young no-
blemen, than the common fcriblers of politics and
party.
This volume would have been at leaf!: twice as
large, if I had not made bold to ftrike out innu-
merable paflages relating to the winds and tides, as
well as to the variations and bearings in the feveral
voyages, together with the minute defcriptions of
the management of the fliip in itorms, in the ftyle
of failors ; likewife the account of longitudes and
latitudes ; wherein I have reafon to apprehend, that.
Mr. Gulliver may be a little difTatisiied : but I was
refolved to fit the work as much as pofilble to the
general capacity of readers. However, if my own
ignorance in lea-affairs fliall have led me to commit
fome mifrakes, I alone am anfwerable for them :,
and if any traveller hath a curiofity to fee the whole
work at large, as it came from the hand or the au-
thor, I will be ready 10 gratify him.
As for any further particulars relating to the
author, the reader will receive fatisfaction from the.
firfr pages of the book.
Richard Symson.
A
t 3°9 ]
^^^^^^^S^S^r^^^
A LETTER from Captain GULLIVER,
to his Coufin Sympsqn.
Written in the year 1727.
Hope you will be ready to own publickly, when-
■*■ ever you mall be called to it, that by your great
and frequent urgency, you prevailed on me to pub-
lifh a very loofe and uncorrect account of my tra-
vels, with direction to hire fome young gent'emen
of either university to put them in order, and cor-
rect the ftyle, as my couiin Dampier did by my ad-
vice, in his book called, " A voyage round the
<( world." But I do not remember I gave you
power to confent, that any thing mould be omit-
ted, and much lefs that any thing mould be infert-
€d : therefore, as to the latter, I do here renounce
every thing of that kind ; particularly a paragraph
about her Majefty Queen Anne, of mod pious and
glorious memory ; although I did reverence and
efteem her more than any of human fpecies. But
you, or your interpolator, ought to have confidered,
that as it was not my inclination, fo was it not de-
cent to praife any animal of our compofition be-
fore my mailer Houyhnhnm : and befides, the fact
was altogether falfe ; for, to my knowledge, being
in England during fome part of her Majefty's reign,
ihe did govern by a chief minifter ; nay even by
two fucceiiively, the firft whereof was the Lord of
Godolphin, and the fecond the Lord of Oxford ;
fo that you have made me " fav the thing that was
"not.5>
3io GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
il not." Likewife, in the account of the academy
of projectors, and feveral pafTages of my difcourfl
to my matter Houyhnhnrn, you have either omit-
ted ibme material circumftances, or minced 01
changed them in fuch a manner, that I do hardly
know mine own work. "When I formerly hinted
to you fomething of this in a letter, you were
pleafed to anfwer, that you were afraid of giving
offence ; that people in power were very watchful
over the prefs, and apt not only to interpret, bui
to punifli every thing which looked like an Inuendo.
(as I think you call it). But, pray, how could thai
which I fpoke fo many years ago, and at abovt
five thoufand leagues diftance, in another reign.
be applied to any of the Yahoos, who now are faic
to govern the herd : efpecially at a time when I lit-
tle thought on, or feared, the unhappinefs of liv
ing under them ? have not I the mod reafon tc
complain, when I fee thefe very Yahoos carried b)
Houyhnhnms in a vehicle, as if thefe were brute;
and thofe the rational creatures ? and indeed, tc
avoid fo monftrous and deteftable a fight, was one
principle motive of my retirement hither.
Thus much I thought proper to tell you, in re-
lation to yourfelf, and to the truft I repofed in
you.
I do, in the next place, complain of my own
great want of judgement, in being prevailed upon
by the intreaties and falfe reafonings of you and
ibme cdiers, very much againft my own opinion,
to fuffer my travels to be published. Pray bring to
your mind how often I delired you to coniider,
when you infift'ed on the motive of public good,,
that the Yahoos were a fpecies of animals utterly
incapable of amendment, by precepts or example f
and fo it hath proved ; for, irdtead of feeing a full
ftop put to all abufes and corruptions, at leaf! in
th:s little idarid, as I had reafon to expect ; be-
hold, after above fix mouths warning, I cannot
learn
Gulliver's Letter to Sympfon* 3 1 1
learn that my book has produced one {ingle effect
according to mine intentions. I defired you would
let me know by a letter, when party and faction
were extinguished; judges learned andupright; plead-
ers honeftand modeft, with fome tincture of common
fenfe, and Smithiield blazing with pyramids of
law-books ; the young nobility's education entirely
changed ; the phylicians banifhed ; the female Ya-
hoos abounding in virtue, honour, truth, and good
fenfe ; courts and levees of great minilters thorough-
ly weeded and lwept ; wir^ merit, and learning re-
warded ; all difgracers of tire prefs, in profe and
verfe, condemned to eat nothing but their own
cotton, and quench their thirft with their own ink.
Thefe, and a thoufand other reformations, I firmly
counted upon by your encouragement ; as indeed
they were plainly deducible from the precepts deli-
vered in my book And it muft be owned, that
feven months were a fufficicnt time to correct every
vice and folly to which Yahoos are fubject, if their
natures had been capable of the leaft difpofltion to
•virtue or wifdom ; yet, fo far have you been from
anfwering mine expectation in any of your letters ;
that on the contrary you are loading our carrier
every week with libels, and keys, and reflections,
and memoirs, and fecond parts ; wherein I fee my-
felf accufed of reflecting upon great ftates-folk ; of
degrading human nature (for fo they ftill have the
confidence to ftile it) and of abufing the female fex.
1 find likewife, that the writers of thofe bundles
are not agreed among themfelves; for fome of them
will not allow me to be the author of mine own
travels ; and others make me author of books, to
.which I am wholly a ftranger.
I find likewife, that your printer hath been fo
;-carelefs as to confound the times, and miftake the
.dates of my feveral voyages and returns ; neither
afligning the true year, nor the true month, nor
day of the month : and I hear the original ma-
nufcript
3i2 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
nufcript is all deftroyed lince the publication of m)
book ; neither have I any copy left ; however, |
have fent you fome corrections, which you may in<
fert, if ever there mould be a fecond edition : anc
yet I cannot ftand to them ; but mail leave tha
matter to my judicious and candid readers to adjuf
it as they pleafe.
I hear fome of our fea-Yahoos find fault witl
my fea-language, as not proper in many parts, no:
now in ufe. I cannot help it. In my firft voyages
while I was young, I was inftructed by the oldef
mariners, and learned to fpeak as they did. But
have lince found, that the fea-Yahoos are apt, lik
the land ones, to become newfangled in their words
which the latter change every year ; infomuch, a
I remember, upon each return to my own country
their old dialect was fo altered, that I could hardl
under ftand the new. And I obferve, when an
Yahoo comes from London, out of curiolity t<
viiit me at mine own houfe, we neither of us ar
able to deliver our conceptions in a manner intelli
gible to the other.
If the cenfure of the Yahoos could any way af
feci me, I mould have great reafon to complain
that fome of them are fo bold as to think my bool
of travels a mere fiction out of mine own brain
and have gone fo far as to drop hints, that th
Houyhnhnms and Yahoos have no more exiftenc
than the inhabitants of Utopia.
Indeed I muff confefs, that as to the people o:
Lilliput, Brpbdingrag (for fo the word mould hav
been fpelt, and not erroneoufly Brobdingnag) anc
Laputa, I have never yet heard of any Yahoo fc
prefumptuous as to difpute their being, or the fact;
I have related concerning them ; becaufe the truth
immediately ftrikes every reader with conviction,
And is there lefs probability in my account of the
Houyhnhnms or Yahoos, when it is manifeft as to
the latter, there are fo many thoufands, even in
this
Gulliver's Letter to Sympfox. 313
this city, who only differ from their brother brutes
InHouyhnhnm-land, becaufe theyufe a fort of Jab-
ber, and do not go naked ? I wrote for their a-
mendment, and not their approbation. The unit*
ed praife of the whole race would be of Ids con*
fequence to me, than the neighing of thofe two de-
generate Houyhnhnrns I keep in my ftable; becaufe
from thefe, degenerate as they are, I ftill improve
in fome virtues without any mixture of vice.
Do thefe miferable animals prefume to think,
that I am fo degenerated as to defend my veracity ?
Yahoo as I am, it is well known through all Houy-
hnhnm-land, that, by the initructions and exam-
ple of my illuftrious mafter, I was able in rhe com-
pafs of two years (although I confefs with the ut-
moit difficulty) to remove that infernal habit of ly-
ing, muffling, deceiving, and equivocating, fo deep-
ly rooted in the very fouls of all my fpecies ; efpe-
cially the Europeans.
I have other complaints to make upon this vexa-
tious occalion ; but I forbear troubling myfelf or
you any further. I muft freely confefs, that imce
my laft return, fome corruptions of my Yahoo na-
ture have revived in me, by converfing with a few
of your fpecies, and particularly thofe of mine
own family, by an unavoidable neceflity ; elfe I
fhould never have attempted fo abfurd a project as
that of reforming the Yahoo race in this kingdom:
but I have now done with ail fuch vifionary fchemes
for ever.
April 2, 1727.
*## That the original copy of thefe travels was
altered, by the perfon through whofe hands it was
conveyed to the prefs, is a fact ; but the pafiages
,of which Mr. Gulliver complains in his letter, are
Vol. IV. D d to
/3i4 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.
to be found only in the fir ft editions ; for the Dean
having reftcred the text wherever it had been al-
tered, fent the copy to the late Mr. Motte, by the
Jiands of Mr. Charles Ford. This Copy has been
exactly followed in every fubfequent edition, except
that printed in Ireland by George Falkener ; the
editor of which, fuppofing the Dean to be ferious
when he mentioned the corruptions of dates, and
yet finding them unaltered, thought fi: to alter them
himfelf ; there is however fcarce one of thefe alte-
rations, in which he has not committed a blunder.;
though, while he was thus bufied in defacing the
parts that were perfect, he fuffered the accidental
blemifhes of others to jemain. See the preface
40 this edition.
TRAVELS
[
3*5
J
^M¥^'^^*VM^W3W^^
TRAVELS into feveral remote
tions of the world .
NA-
PART I.
A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.
CHAP. I.
The author gives feme account of him f elf and family
bis inducement to travel. He is Jhipwreckcd, and
fwims fsr his life) gets fafe on floor e in the country
of Lilliput : is -made a prifonery and carried up the
country.
MY father had a fmall eftate in Nottingham-
shire; I was the third of five fons. He fen!?
me to Emanuel college in Cambridge at fourteen
years old, where I reiided three years, and applied
myielf-
* Thefe vovages are intended as a moral political romance, in
which Swift Teems to have exerted the fhongeft efforts of a fii.e irre-
gular genius. But while his imagination anj'his wit eeiight, the \c-
nomous flrok.es of hi; fatir?, although in fome places iuft, a e carried
into fo ur.iverf.1 a feverity, that not only all human aclions, but hu-
man nature itlVif, :s f laced in the wcrfi light. Peirec~tion in
every attribute is not indeed allotted to particular m:n But am <n*
the whole fpecies, we difcover fuch an sl.'er'bljge of all the great and
amiable virtues, as may convince us, that the original order of naure.
contains in it the grea.eil beau*y. It is cirtcClcd in a right line, but
irdeviates into cutves and irregular motions, by various alterations
and difrurbing caufes. Di Terent qr.alificaticr.s mine out in different
men. Bacon and N uvton (not to mention Boy le) (hew the di-
vine extent of the human mind : of which power Swift could not 03.
iiif^nhble 5 hut his difcppointments rendered him iplen.tic, and an-
Dd 2
gry
316 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Parti.
myfelf clofe to my ftudies ; but the charge of main-
taining me, although I had a very fcanty allowance,
being too great for a narrow fortune, I was bound
apprentice to Mr. James Bates, an eminent furgeon
in London, with whom I continued four years ;
and my father now and then fending me fmall fums
of money, I laid them out in learning navigation,
and other parts of the mathematics, ufeful to thofe
who intend to travel, as I always believed it would
be fome time or other my fortune to do. When I
left Mr. Bates, I went down to my father ; where,
by the affiftance of him and my uncle John, and
fome ether relations, I got forty pounds, and a
proniife of thirty pounds a-year to maintain me at
Leydon : there I ftudled phyuc two years and fe-
grv with the whole world.--- Education, habit, and conftitution, give
a fiuprifiig vj-iety of characters 5 and while they produce fome par-
ticular quali its, are apt to check others. Foititude of mind feldom.
attends a fiedentary life: nor is the man whofe ambitious views are
trolled, fcarce ever afterwards endued with benevolence of heart. The
Umc mind that is capable of exerting the greater! virtue, by fome de-
fect in the frft fteps of education often degenerates into the greatefl
vice. Thefe effects take their fource from caufes almofl mechani-
cal. The foul in our preient htuati::n, is blended and iuclofcd with
corporeal lubftance, end the matter of which our body is compoied,
produces ftrange impulfcs upon the mind To correct vice, by
Oie wing her deformity, in oppofition to the beauty of virtue, and to
amend the falfe fyiiems of philcfophy, by pointing cut the errors, and
appjiing falutary means to -^void them, is a noble d.-fign, and was,
(would .fain flatter myf.lf the general intent of this hieroglyphic
writer. Gulliver's travels are cbieriy to be looked u, on as an ir-
regular efTiv of Swift's peculiar wit and humour. The inhabitants of
iLilnpuc ae reprefented, as if reflected from a concave mirror, by
v*hich every obitct is reduced to a defpicable minutenefs. The inha-
bitants of Biobdirgnag, by a contrary mirror, are enlarged to a fhock- I
ing deformity. In L'lliput we behold a fet of puny infects, or a-
nimalcuks in hamail fhape, ridiculoufly engaged in affairs of impor-
tance. In Brobdingnag the monfters of enormous fize are employed
in trifles. -In the two firli parts there are many ridiculous adven-
tures, even fu.h as muft have exited mirth from Heraclitus. Where
indelicacies 0" not intervene, the narrative is very entertaining and
humorous. In fome psrts, Gulliver feems to have had particular
incidents, if not particular perfons in his view. His obfervations on
education are ufeful : and fo are his improvements on the inftitutions
ef Lycui gUS, Orrery,
ren
Chap. I. A VOYAGE TO LtLLIPUT. 317
vcn months, knowing it would be ufeful in long
voyages.
Soon after my return from Leyden, I was re-
commended by my good matter Mr. Bates to be
furgeon to the fwallow, Captain Abraham Pannel
commander : with whom I continued three years
and a half, making a voyage or two into the Levant,
and fome other parts. When I came back, I re-
folved to fettle in London ; to which Mr Bates,
my matter, encouraged me, and by him I was re-
commended to feveral patients. 1 took part of a
fmall houfe in the Old Jury ; and being advifed to
alter mv condition, I married Mrs; Mart Burton,
fecond daughter to Mr. Edmund Burton holier in
Newgate- ftreet, with whom I received four hundred
pounds for a portion.
But, my good mailer E.ites dying in two years"
after, and I having few friends, my bufinefs began
to fail ; for my confeience would not. fu£rer-me to
imitate the bad practice of too manv;;mon?mvhre-
thren. Having; therefore conftilted with mv wile,*
and fome of mv acquaintance, I determined to go
again to fea. I was furgeon iuccelhvelyin twofhips,
and made feveral voyages for fix vears to the halt
and Weft Indies, by which I got fome addition to
tny fortune. My hours of leiiure I ipent in read-
ing the belt of authors, anticnt and modern, being
always provided with a good number of books ;
and when I was afhore, in obferving the manners
and difpofitions of the people, as well as learning
their language, wherein I had a great facility by
the ftrength of mv memory.
The lait of thefe voyages not proving very fortu-
nate, I grew weary of the fea, and intended to ftay
at home with my wife and family. I removed from
the. Old Jury to Fetter-lane, and from rhence to
flapping, honing to get bufinefs among the farlors;
but it would not turn to account. After three
years expectation that things would mend, I accept -
Dd 3 ed
3 1 8 GULLIVER'S TR A VELS . Part I .
ed an advantageous offer from Captain. William
Prichard, matter of the Antelope, who was making
a voyage to the South-Sea, We fet fail from Bri-
ftol, May 4. 1699 ; and our voyage at firft was very
profperous.
It would not be proper, for fome reafons, to
trouble the reader with the particulars of our ad-
ventures in thofe feas. Let it fuffice to inform him,
that, in our pafTage from thence to the Eaft-Indies,
we were driven by a violent ftorm to the north-weft
of Van Diemen's land. By an obfervation we
found ourfelves in the latitude of 30 degrees 2 mi- 1
nutes fouth. Twelve of our crew were dead by
immoderate labour, and ill food ; the reft were in
a very weak condition. On the 5th of November,
which was the beginning of rummer in thofe parts,
the weather being very hazy, the feamen fpied a
rock within half a cable's length of the fhip ; but the
wind was Co ftrong, that we were driven directly
upon it, and immediately fplit. Six of the crew,
of whom I was one, having let down the boat intc
the fea, made a fhift to get clear of the fhip and
the rock. We rowed by my computation about
three leagues, till we were able to work no longer,
being already fpent with labour while we were ir
the fhip. We therefore traded ourfelves to th<
mercy of the waves, and in about half an hour the
boat was overfet by a fudden flurry from the north,
What became of my companions in the boat, a*
well as of thofe who efcaped on the rock, or wen
left in the veiTel, I cannot tell ; but conclude thej
were all loft. For my own part, I fwam as fortune
directed me, and was pulhed forward by wind and
tide. I often let my legs drop, and could feel nc
bottom : but when I was almoft gone, and able tc
ftruggle no longer, I found myfelf within mj
depth : and by this time the ftorm was much abat
ed. The declivity was fo fmall, that I walked neat
a mile before I got to the more, which I conjectu
red
Chap I. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 319
red was about eight o'clock in the evening. I then
advanced forward near half a mile, but could not
dilcover any fign of houfes or inhabitants ; at leaft
I was in foweak a condition, that I did not obferve
them. I was extremely tired, and with that, and
the heat of the weather, and about half a pint of
brandy that I drank as I left the fliip, I found my-
felf much inclined to fleep. I lay down on the
grafs, which was very fhort and foft, where I flept
founder than ever I remembered to have done in
my life, and, as I reckoned, about nine hours ;
for when I awaked, it was juft day-light. I at-
tempted to rife, but was not able to ftir : for as I
happened to lie on my back, I found my arms and
legs were ftrongly fattened on each fide to the
ground ; and my hair which was long and thick,
tied down in the fame manner, I likewife felt feveral
{lender ligatures acrofs my body, from my arm-pits
to my thighs. I could onjy look upwards, the fun
began to grow hot, and the light offended my eyes.
I heard a confufed noile about me ; but, in the po-
fture I lay, could fee nothing except the iky. In a
little time I felt fomething alive moving on my left
leg, which advancing gently forward over my
breaft, came almoft up to my chin ; when bending
my eyes downward as much as I could, I perceived
it to be a human creature not fix inches high, with,
a bow and arrow in his hands, and a quiver at his
back. In the mean time, I felt at leaft forty more,
of the fame kind (as I conjectured) following the
firft. I was in the utmoft aftonifhment, and roar-
ed fo loud, that they all ran back in a fright ; and
fome of them, as I was afterwards told, were hurt with
the falls they got by leaping from my fides upon the
ground. However, they foon returned, and one
of them, who ventured fo far as to get a full fight
of my face, lifting up his hands and eyes by way
of admiration, cried out in a fhrill but diftindt
voice, Hekinah degul : the others repeated the fame
words
320 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Parti;
words feveral times, but I then knew not what they
meant. I lay all this while, as the reader may be-
lieve, in great uneafmefs ; at length flruggling to
get- loofe, I had the fortune to break the firings,
and wrench out the pegs, that faflened my left arm
to the ground ; for, by lifting it up to my face, I
discovered the methods they had taken to bind me,
and at the fame time, with a violent pull, which
gave me excefnve pain, la little loofened the firings
that tied down my hair on the left fide, fo that I was
jufl able to turn my head about two inches. But
the creatures run off a fecond time before I could
feize them ; whereupon there was a great fhout in
a very fhrill accent, and after it ceafed, I heard one
of them cry aloud, Tolgo phonac ; when in an in-
flant I felt above an hundred arrows efif charged on
my left hand, which pricked me like fo many
needles ; and beiides, they ihot another flight into
the air, as we do bombs in Europe, whereof many,
I fuppofe, fell on my body, (tho' I felt them not)
and feme on my face, which I immediately covered
with my left hand. When this fhower of arrows
was over, I fell a groaning with grief and pain, and
then driving: again to eet loofe, they difcharsed an-
ether volley larger than the firfl, and fome of them
attempted with fpears to flick tr,e in the fides ; but
by good luck I had on me a buff jerkin, which they
could not pierce. I thought it the moil prudent method
to lie ilill, and my deiign was to continue fo till
night, when, my left hand being already loofe, Icould
eaiily free myfeif : and as for the inhabitants, 1 had
reafon to believe \ might be a match for the great-
eft army they could bring againfl me, if they were
all of the lame fize with him that I faw, But fortune
difpofed other wife of me. When the people ob-
ferved I was quiet, they difcharged no more arrows :
but, by the noife I heard, I knew their numbers in-
creafed ; and about four yards from me, over a-
gainfl my right ear, I heard a knocking for about
an
Chap. I. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 321
an hour, like that of people at work : when turn-
ing my head that way, as well as the pegs and
firings would permit me, I faw a flage erected a-
about a foot and a half from the ground, capable
of holding four of the inhabitants, with two or three
ladders to mount it : from whence one of them,
who feemed to be a perfon of quality, made me a
long fpeech, whereof I underftood not one fyllable.
But I mould have mentioned, that before the prin-
cipal perfon bogan his oration, he cried out three
times, Langro debit I fan : (thefe words and the for-
mer were afterwards repeated and explained to me).
Whereupon immediately about fifty of the inhabi-
tants came and cut the firings that fattened the left
fide of my head, which gave me the liberty of turn-
ing it to the right, and of obferving the perfon and
geilure of him that was to fpeak. He appeared to
be of a middle age, and taller than any of the o-
ther three who attended him, whereof one was a
page that held up his train, and feemed to be fome-
what longer than my middle finger, the other two
flood on each fide to fupport him. He acted every
parr of an orator, and I could obferve many pe-
riods of threatenings, and others of promifes, pity,
and kindnefs. I anfwered in a few words, but in
the moil fubmiffive manner, lifting up mv left hand
and both my eyes to the fun, as calling him for a
witnefs ; and being almoft famifhed with hunger,
having not eaten a morfel for fotne hours before I
left the fliip, I found the demands of nature fo ftrong
upon me, that I could not forbear fhewing my im-
patience (perhaps againft the flrict rules of decency)
by putting my finger frequently to my mouth, to
fignify that I wanted food. The Hurgo (for fo
they call a great lord, as I afterwards learned) un-
derftood me very well. He defcended from the
flage, and commanded that feveral ladders fhould
be applied to my fides, on which above an hun-
dred of the inhabitants mounted, and walked to-
wards
322 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Parti
wards my mouth, laden with baikets full of meat
which had been provided and fent thither by the
king's orders, upon theflttft intelligence he receivec
of me. I obierved the; e was the rlefh of feveral a-
nimals, but could not difttnguifh them by the tafte
There were moulders, legs, and loins, fhaped like
thofe of mutton, and very well drefled, but fmal-
ler than the wings of a lark. I ear them by two 03
three at at mouthful, and took three loaves at a timt
about the bignefs of mu fleet -bullets. They fuppli-
ed me as fait as they could, fhewing a thoufanc
marks of wonder and afror.imment at my bulk anc
appetite, I then made another flgn, that I wanted
drink. They found by my eating, that a fmal
quantity would not iuiiice me, and being <
mo ft ingenious people, they flung up with great
dexterity one of their largeft hogiheads, ther
rolled it towards my hand, and beat out the top ; ]
drank it off at a draught, which I might well do,
for it did not hold half a pint, and tailed like a
fmall wine of burgundy, but much more delici-
ous They brought me a fecond hogfhead, which I
drank in the fame manner, and made figns for
more ; but they had none to give me. When I
had performed thefe wonders, they fhouted for
joy, and danced upon my breafr, repeating feveral
times, as they did at firft, Hekinah clcgul. They
made me a fign that I fhould throw down the two
hogfheads, but flrft warning the people below to
ftand out of the way, crying aloud, Borath mevola,
and when they faw the veffels in the air, there was1
an universal fhout of Hekinah degul. I confefs I
was often tempted, while they were palling back-
wards and forwards on my body, to feize forty or
fifty of the firft that came in my reach, and dafli
them againft the ground. But the remembrance
of what I had felt, which probably might not
be the word they could do, and the promife of
honour I made them, for Co I interpreted my fub-'
miilive
Chap. I. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 3-23
mifiive behaviour, foon drove out thefe imapina-
tions. Befides, I now conlidered myfelf as bound
by the laws of hofpitality to a people, who had
treated me with fo much expenfe and magnifi-
cence. However, in my thoughts I could not fuf-
£ciently wonder at the intrepidity of thefe diminu-
tive mortals, who durffc venture to mount and walk
upon my body, while one of my hands was at li-
berty, without trembling at the veiy fight of fo pro-
digious a creature, as I muft appear to them. After
fome time, when they obferved that I made no
more demands for meat, there appeared before me
a perfon of high rank from his Imperial Majefty,
His Excellency having mounted on the fmall of my
right leg, advanced forwards up to my face, with
about a dozen of his retinue. And producing his
credentials under the fignet royal, which he ap-
plied clofe to my eyes, ipoke about ten minutes
without any figns of anger, but with a kind of de-
terminate lefolution, often pointing forwards,
which, as I afterwards found, was towards the ca-
pital city, about half a mile diftant, whither it was
agreed by his Majefty in council that I muft be
conveyed. I anfwered in few words, but to no
purpofe, and made a fign with, my. hand that was
loofe> putting it to the other (but over his excel-
lency's head, for fear of hurting him or his train)
and then to my own head and body, to fignify that
I defired my liberty. It appeared, that he under-
ftood me well enough, for he ihook his head by
way of difapprobation, and held his hand in a po-
fture to fhew, that I muft be carried as aprifoner.
However he made other figns to let me underftand,
that I ihould have meat and drink enough, and
very good treatment, Whereupon I once more
thought of attempting to break my bonds, but a-
*ain, when I felt the fmart of their arrows upon
ivy face and hands, which were all in blifters, and
many of the darts ftill {ticking in them, and ob-
ferving
324 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Part I
ferviftg likewife that the numbei of my enemies in
creafed, I gave tokens to let them know, that the1
might do with me what they pleafed. Upon this th
Hurgo and his train withdrew, with much civility I
and chearful countenances. Soon after I heard
general fhout, with frequent repetitions of th
words, Peplomfeiariy and I felt great numbers o
people on my left ride, relaxing the cords to fuch
degree that I was able to turn upon my right, an
to eafe myfelf with making water ; which I ver
plentifully did, to the great aftonifhment of th
people, who conjecturing, by my motion, what
was going to do, immediately opened to the rig! I
and left on that fide, to avoid the torrent, whic
fell with fuch noife and violence from m
But, before this, they had daubed my face an
both my hands with a fort of ointment very pie;
fant to the fmell, which in a few minutes remove I
all the fmart of their arrows. Thefe circumftance |
added to the refreshment I had received by the
victuals and drink, which were very nourifhinj
difpofed me to ileep. I flept about eight hours, ;
I was afterwards allured ; and it was no wondei
for the phylicians, by the Emperor's order, ha
mingled a fleepy potion in the hogineads of wine.
It feems that upon the lirit moment I was difcc
vered, fleeping on the ground after my landini
the Emperor had early notice of it by an exprefs
and determined in council, that I mould be tied i
the manner I have related, (which was done in th
night while I flept) that plenty of meat and drin
fhould be fent to me, and a machine prepared t
carry me to the capital city.
This rcfolution perhaps may appear very bol
and dangerous, and I am confident would not ^
imitated by any prince in Europe on the like occ?
iion^, however, in my opinion, it was extremel
prudent, as well as generous, for fuppofing thof
people had endeavoured to kill me with their fpear
an<
Chap. I. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 325
and arrows while I was afleep, I fhould certainly
have awaked with the iirit. fenfe of fmart, which
might ih far have rouzed my rage and ftrength, as
to have enabled me to break the firings, where-
with I was tied ; after which, as they were not
able to make refiftance, fo they could expect no
mercy.
The people are moft excellent mathematicians,
and arrived to a great perfection in mechanics by
the countenance and encouragement of the Empe-
ror, who is a renowned patron ofilearning. This
prince hath feveral machines fixed on wheels for
the carriage of trees and other great weights. He
often builds his largeft men of war, whereof fome
are nine feet long, in the woods where the timber
grows, and has them carried on thefe engines three
or four hundred yards to the fea. Five hundred
carpenters and engineers were immediately fet at
work to prepare the greateft engine they had. It
was a frame of wood raifed three inches from the
ground, about feven feet long and four wide, mov-
ing upon twenty- two wheels. The fhout I heard
was upon the arrival of this engine, which it feems
' fet out in four hours after my landing. It was
brought parallel to me, as I lay. But the principal
difficulty was to raife and place me into this ve-
! hide. Eighty poles each of one foot high, were e-
|« reeled for this purpofe, and very ftrong cords of
the bignefs of packthread were faftened by hooks
to many bandages, which the workmen had girt
round my neck, my hands, my body, and my legs.
Nine hundred of the ftrongeit men were employed
to draw up thefe cords by many pullies faftened on
the poles ; and thus, in lefs than three hours, I
was raifed and flung into the engine, and there tied
fait. All this I was told, for, while the whole o-
peration was performing, I lay in a profound fletp
by the force of that foporiferous medicine infufed
into my liquor. Fifteen hundred of the Eirmeror's
Vol. IV. Ee largeft
326 GULLIVER's TRAVELS. Parti.
largefl horfes, each about four inches and an half
high, were employed to draw me towards the
metropolis, which, as I faid, was half a mile di-
ftant.
About four hours after we began our "journey,
I awaked bv a verv ridiculous accident : for the
carriage being ftopt a while, to adjuft fomething,
that was out of order, two or three of the young
natives had the curiofity to fee how I looked when
I was aileep ; they climbed up into the engine, and
advancing very foftlyto my face, one of them, an
officer in the guards, put thefharp end of his half-
pike a good way into my left noftril, which tickled
my nofe like a ftraw, and made me fneeze violent-
ly * : whereupon they itole off unperceived, and
it was three weeks before I knew the caufe of my
awaking fo fuddenly. We made a long march thi
remaining part of the day, and refted at night with
five hundred guards on each fide of me, half with
torches, and half with bows and arrows, ready to
ihoot me if I fhould offer to ftir. The next morn-
ing, at fun-rife, we continued our march, and ar
rived within two hundred yards of the city-gates
about noon. The Emperor and all his court came
out to meet us, but his great officers would by no
means fuffer his Majefty to endanger his perfon by
mounting on my body.
At the place where the carriage ftopt, there flood
an ancient temple, efteemed to be the largefr in the
whole kingdom, which, having been polluted fomc
* It has been remarked, that courage in whatever caufe, though
it fometim:s excites indignation, is never the object of contempt ; but
this appears to be true, only becaufe courage is fuppofed to imply fu
periority : for this officer in the guards becomes extremely ridiculous
and contemptible, by an act of the moft daring curicfity, which Hi
fets him in companion with Gulliver ; to whom he was fi much in-1
f.-rior, that a blaft of the v:an mountain i noftrils would have endan»|l«U
gered his life ; and if heroifm itfclf is rot proof again?} ridicule, thcfe
furely are Lilliputians in philuio'-hy, who conlider ridicule as the K-ft
of truth.
years
Chap. I. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 327
years before by an unnatural murder, was, accord-
ing to the zeal of thofe people, looked upon as
profane, and therefore had been applied to com-
mon ufe, and all the ornaments and furniture car-
ried away. In this edirice it was determined I mould
lodge. The great gate, fronting to the north, was
about four feet high, and almoft two feet wide,
through which I could eafily creep. On each fide
of the gate was a fmall window, not above fix inch-
es from the ground : into that on the left tide, the
King's fmith conveyed fourfcore and eleven chains,
like thofe that hang to a lady's watch in Europe,
and almoft as large, which were locked to my left
leg with fix and thirty padlocks. Over-againft this
temple, on the other fide of the great highway, at
twenty feet cliftance, there was a turret at leaft
five feet high. Here the Emperor afcended
with many principal lords of his court to have an
opportunity of viewing me, as I was told, for I
could not fee them. It was reckoned, that above
an hundred thoufand inhabitants came out of the
town upon the fame errand; and in fpite of my
guards, I believe, there could not be fewer than ten
thoufand at feveral times* who mounted my body
by the help of ladders. But a proclamation was
foon ifTued to forbid it upon pain of death. When
the workmen found it was impoffible for me to
break loofe, they Cut all the firings that bound me ;
whereupon I rofe up with as melancholy a difpofir
tion, as ever I had in my life. But the ncife and
aftonifhment of the people at feeing me rile a?id
i walk are not to be expreiled. The chains that held
my left leg were about two yards long, and gave
J me not only the liberty of walking backwards and
forwards in a femicircle ; but being fixed within
four inches of the gate, allowed me to creep in,
and lie at my full length in the temple.
Ee 2 CHAP.
^28
GULLIV£R»s TRAVELS . Part I.
CHAP. II,
The Emperor of Liiliput, attended by fever al of the
nobility , comes to fee the author in his confinement.
The Emperor's perfon and habit defcribed. Learn-
ed men appointed to teach the author their language.
He gains favour by his mild difpofition. His poc-
kets are fearehed, and his fiord and pifloh taken
from him.
WHEN I found myfelf on my feet, I looked
about me, and muft confeis I never beheld
a more entertaining profpect. The country around
appeared like a continued garden, and the inclofed
fields which were generally forty feet fquare, refem-
bled fo many beds of flowers. Thefe fields were
intermingled with woods of half a ftang *, and the
talleft trees, as I could judge, appeared to be feven
feet high. I viewed the town on my left hand,
which looked like the painted fcene of a city in a
theatre.
I had been for fome hours extremely prefTed by
the neceflities of nature ; which was no wonder,
it being almoft two days fince I had Lift difburden-
ed myfelf. I was under great difficulties between
urgency and fliame. The beft expedient I could
think on, was to creep into my houfe, which I ac-
cordingly did ; and, fhutting the gate after me, I
went as far as the length of my chain would fuffer,
and diicharged my body of that uneafy load. But
this was the only time I was ever guilty of fo un-
cleanly an action ; for which I cannot but hope the
candid reader will give fome allowance, after he
* A fiang is a pole ov perch j fixtecn feet and an half.
hath
Chap. II. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 329
hath maturely and impartially coniidered my cafe,
and the diftrefs I was in. From this time my ccn-
ftant practice was, as loon as I rofe, to perforrh
that bulinefs in open air, at the full extent of my
chain ; and due care was taken every morning, be-
fore company came, that the offeniive matter ihould
be carried off in wheelbarrows, by two fervants
appointed for that purpofe. I would not have
dwelt fo long upon a circumflance that, perhaps, at
iirit light may appear not very momentous, if I had
not thought it necefTary to juftify my character in
point of cleanlinefs to the world ; which, I am told,
fome of my maligners have been pleafed, upon this
and other occafions, to call in qucftion.
When this adventure was at an end, I came back
out of my houfe, having occafion for Frefh air.
The Emperor was already defcended from the tow-
er, and advancing on horfe-back towards me, which,
had like to have coft him dear ; for the beafrr
though very well trained, yet wholly unufed to fucli
a fight, which appeared as if a mountain moved
before him, reared up on his hinder feet: but that
prince, who is an exceIlent,horfeman,« kept his-fear,
till his attendants ran in and held the bridle', while
his majeity had time to difmount. When he alight-
ed, he furveyed me round with great- admiration ;
but kept beyond the length of my chain. He or-
dered his cooks and butlers, who were already pre-
pared, to give me victuals and drink, which they
pufhed forward in a fort of vehicles upon wheels,
till I could reach them. I took thefe vehicles, and
foon emptied them all ; twenty of them were filled
With meat, and ten with liquor ; each of the for-
mer afforded me two or three good mouthfuls ; and
I emptied the liquor of ten vefTels, which was con-
tained in earthen vials, into one vehicle, drinking
it oft at a draught ; and fo I did with the reft.
The Emprefs, and young princes of the blood of
both fexes, attended by many ladies, fat at fome
Le 3 diftance
33© GULLIVER's TRAVELS. Parti.
diftance in their chairs ; but f-ponj the accident
-that happened to the Emperor's horft^they alight-
ed, and came near his perfon, which I am now-
going to defcribe. He is taller by almoft the breadth
of my nail, than any of his court, which alone is
enough to ftrike an awe into the beholders. His
features are ftrong and mafculine, with an Auftrian
lip and arched nofe, his complexion olive, his coun-
tenance erect, his body and limbs well proportion-
ed, all his motions graceful, and his deportment
majeftic. He was then paft his prime, being twen-
ty-eight years and three quarters old, of which he
had reigned about feven in great felicity, and gene-
rally victorious. For the better convenience of
beholding him, I lay on my iide, fo that my face
was parallel to his, and he flood but three yards
off: however, I have had him fince many times in
my hand, and therefore cannot be deceived in the
defcription. His drefs was very plain and fimple,
and the falhion of it between the Afiatic and Eu-
ropean : but he had on his head a light helmet of
gold, adorned with jewels, and a plume on the
crefl. He held his fword drawn in his hand to de-
fend himfelf, if I mould happen to break loofe + ;
it was almoft three inches long ; the hilt and fcab-
bard were gold enriched wkh diamonds. His voice
was fhrill, but very clear and articulate, and I
could diilinclly hear it when I flood up. The la-
dies and courtiers were all moll: magnificently clad,
fo that the fpot they flood upon feemed to referable
a_petticoat fpread upon the ground, embroidered
■f The mafculine ftrengh of features, which Gulliver could not fee,
till he laid his face upon the ground ; and the awful fuperiority of fea-
ture in a being, whom he held in his hand ; the helmet, the plume,
and ihe fword, are a fine reproof of human pride ; the objects of
which aretiifling dlftinctions, whether of perfon or rank 5 the ridi-
culous parade and orientation of a pigmy, which derive not only their
erigin, but their u<e, from the folly, weaknefs, and impel feciion of
©urfelves and ctheis,
with
Chap. II. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 331
with figures of gold and filver. His imperial ma-
jefty fpoke often to me, and I returned anfwers ;
but neither of us could underftaml a lyllable. There
were feveral of his priefts and lawyers prefent, (as
I conjectured by their habits) who were command-
ed to addrefs themfelves to me, and I fpoke to
them in as many languages as I had the leaft fmat-
tering of, which were High and Low Dutch, L?i-
tin, French, Spanilh, Italian, and Lingua Franca;
but all to no purpoie. After about two hours the
court retired, and I was left with a ftrong guard,
to prevent the impertinence, and probably the ma-
lice of the rabble, who were very impatient to
crowd about me as near as they durft, and fome of
them had the impudence to fhoot their arrows at
me, as I fat on the ground by the door of my
houfe, whereof one very narrowly miiTed my left
eye. But the colonel ordered fix of the ring-lead-
ers to be feized; and thought no punifhment Co
proper, as to deliver them bound into my hands,
which fome of his foldiers accordingly did, pufh-
ing them forwards with the butt- ends of their pikes
into my reach : I took them all on my right hand,
put five of them into my coat-pocket, and as to the
fixth, I made a countenance as if I would eat him
alive. The poor man fqualled terribly, and the
colonel and his officers were in much pain, efpeci-
ally when they faw me take out my penknife : but
I foon put them out of fear ; for, looking mildly,
and immediately cutting the firings he was bound
with, I fet him gently on the ground, and away he
ran. I treated the reft in the fame manner, taking
them one by one out of my pocket ; and I obferv-
ed both the foldiers and the people were highly de-
lighted at this mark of my clemency, which was
reprefented very much to my advantage at court.
Towards night I got with fome difficulty into my
houfe, where I lay on the ground, and continued
to do fo about a fortnight ; during which time the
Emperor
332 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Part I.
Emperor gave orders to have a bed prepared for
me Six hundred beds of the common meafure
were brought in carriages, and worked up in my
houfe ; an hundred and fifty of their beds, fewn
together, made up the breadth and length ; and
thefe were four double, which however kept me
but very indifferently from the hardnefs of the
Moor, that was of i'mooth ftone. By the fame
computation they provided me with iheets, blan-
kets, and coverlets, tolerable enough for one who
had been fo long inured to hardihips *.
• As the news of my arrival fpread through the
kingdom, it brought prodigious numbers of rich,
idle, and curious people to fee me; fo that the
villages were almon: emptied, and great neglect of
tillage and houfehold affairs mnft have enfued, if
his imperial majefty had not provided by feveral
proclamations and orders of ftate againft this in-
conveniency. He directed, that thofe who had al-
ready beheld me fhould return home, and not pre-
fume to come within fifty yards of my houfe, with-
out licence from court ; whereby the fecretaries of
ftate got coniiderable fees.
In the mean time, the Emperor held frequent,
councils, to debate what courfe mould be taken
with me ; and I was afterwards aiTured by a parti-
cular friend, a perfon of great quality, who was
as much in the fecret as any, that the court was un-
der many difficulties concerning me. They appre-
hended my breaking looie ; that my diet would be
* Gulliver has obferved great exactnets in the jufr proportion and
appearances of the feveral objects thus le ened ana magnified. But
he dwells too much upon thefe optical deceptions. The mind is tir-
ed with a repetition of them, especially as he points out no becuty
nor ufe in fuch ama/.ing difcoveric', which might have been fo coh-
tinued as to have afforded improvement, at the fame time that they
gave aitoniihment. He too often fhews an indelicacy that is not a-
gteoable, and exerts his vein of humour molt improperly in fome
places, where, I am afraid, he glances a: religion, Onery,
very
Chap. II. A VOYAGE TO LILL1PUT. 333
every expenfive, and might caufe a famine. Some-
times they determined to ftarve me, or at leaft to
moot me in the face and hands with poifoned ar-*
rows, which would foon difpatch me ; but again
they confidered, that the ftench of fo large a car-
cafe might produce a plague in the metropolis, and
probably fpread through the whole kingdom. In
the midit of thefe confultations, feveral officers of
the army went to the door of the great council-
chamber, and two of them being admitted, gave
an account of my behaviour to the fix criminals
above-mentioned, which made fo favourable an
impreffion in the breaft of his majefty, and the
whole board, in my behalf, that an imperial com
million was iuiied out, obliging all the villages nine
hundred miles round the city, to deliver in every
morning fix beeves, forty iheep, and other victuals
for my fuftenance ; together with a proportionable
quantity of bread and wine, and other liquors ;
for the due payment of which his majefty gave af-
fignments upon his treafury. For this prince lives
chiefly upon his own demefnes, feldom, except up-
on great occafions, railing any fubfidies upon his
fubjccls, who are bound to attend him in his wars
at their own expence. An eftablifhment was alfo
made of fix hundred perfons to be my domeftics*
who had board-wages allowed for their maintain-
ance, and tents built for them very conveniently
on each fide of my door. It was likewife ordered,
that three hundred taylors fhould make me a fuit
of cloaths after the fafhion of the country : that
fix of his majefty 's greateft fcholars fhould be em-
ployed to inftrucl: me in their language : and laftly,
that the Emperor's horfes, and thofe of the nobili-
ty, and troops of guards, fhould be frequently ex-
ercifed in my fight, to accufiom themfelves to me.
All thefe orders were duly put in execution, and
in about three weeks I made a great progrefs in
learning their language ; during which time the
Emperor
334 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Part L
Emperor frequently honoured me with his vifits,.
and was pleafed to affift my matters in teaching me.
We began already to converfe together in fome
fort ; and the firft words I learnt were to exprefs
my defire, that he would pleafe to give me my li-
berty, which I every day repeated on my knees.
His anfwer, as I could apprehend it, was, that this
muft be a work of time, not to be thought on
without the advice of his council, and that fkft I
muft lumos kelmin pejfo dcfmar Ion empofo % that is,
fwear a peace with him and his kingdom. Howe-
ver, that I fhould be ufed with all kindnefs ; and he
advifed me to acquire by my patience and difcreet
behaviour, the good opinion of himfelf and his fub-
jecls. He defired I would not take it ill, if he gave
orders to certain proper officers to fearch me, for
probably I might carry about me feveral weapons j
which muft needs be dangerous things, if they an-
fwered the bulk of fo prodigious a perfon. I laid,
his majefty fhould be fatisfied ; for I was ready to
ftrip myfelf, and turn up my pockets before him,
This I delivered, part in words, and part in ligns.
He replied, that by the laws of the kingdom I muft
be fearched by two of his officers ; that he knew
this could not be done without my conlent and af-
fiftance ; that he had fo good an opinion of my
generoilty and juftice, as to truft their perfons in
my hands : that whatever they took from me
fhould be returned when I left the country, or paid
for at the rate which I fhould fct upon them I
took up the two officers in my hands, put them
firft into my coat-pockets, and then into every o-
ther pocket about me, except my two fobs, and
another fecret pocket, which I had no mind -fhould
be fearched, wherein I had fome little necefiaries>
that were of no coufequence to any but myfelf.
In one of my fobs there was a iilver watch, and
in the other a fmall quantity of gold in a purie,
Thefe gentlemen, having pen, ink and paper a-
bo\k
Chap. II. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 335
bout them, made an exact inventory of every thing
they faw ; and, when they had done, delired I
would let them down, that they might deliver it to
the Emperor. This inventory I afterwards trans-
lated into Ensdifh, and is word for word as fol-
lows :
Imprimis, In the right coat-pocket of the great
man-mountain (for fo I interpret the words quinlus
fieftrin), after the ftricteft. fearch, we found only
one great piece of coarSe cloth, large enough to
be a foot-cloth for your majelty's chief room of
State. In the left pocket we faw a huge filver cheft,
with a cover of the fame metal, which we, the
Searchers were not able to lift. We delired it mould
:be opened, and one of us Stepping into it, found
himSelf up to the mid-leg in a fort of duff, fome
part whereof flying up to our faces, fet us both a-
fheezing for Several times together. In his right
waiftcoat-pocket we found a prodigious bundle of
white thin fubftances, foldtd one over another, a-
bout the bignefs of three men, tied with a Strong
cable, and marked with black figures ; which we
humbly conceive to be writings, every letter almoff.
half as large as the palm of our hands In the left
there was a fort of engine, from the back of which
were extended twenty long poles, refembling the
palifadoes before your majefty's court ; wherewith
we conjecture the man-mountain combs his head ;
for we did not always trouble him with queftions,
becauSe we found it a great difficulty to make him
underftand us. In the large pocket on the right
fide of his middle cover (So I tranflate the word Ran-
fu-lo, by which they meant my breeches) we Saw a
hollow pillar of iron, about the length of a man,
fattened to a Strong piece of timber, larger than the
pillar ; and upon one Side of the pillar were huge
pieces of iron Sticking out, cut into Strange figures,
which we know not what 10 make of. In the left
pocket another engine of the Same kind. In the
Smaller
336 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Part I.
f mailer pocket on the right fide were feveral round
flat pieces of white and red metal of different
bulk; fome of the white, which feemed to be fil-
ver, were fo large and heavy, that my comrade and
I could hardly lift them. In the left pocket were
two black pillars irregularly fhaped : we could not
without difficulty reach the top of them as we ftood
at the bottom of his pocket. One of them was co-
vered, and feemed all of a piece : but at the upper
end of the other there appeared a white round fub-
ftance, about twice the bignefs of our heads.
Within each of thefe was inclofed a prodigious plate
of fteel ; which, by our orders, we obliged him to
ihew us, becaufe we apprehended they might" be
dangerous engines. He took them out of their
cafes, and told us, that in his own country his
practice was to fhave his beard with one of thefe,
and to cut his meat with the other. There were
two pockets which we could not enter : thefe he
called his fobs ; they were two large flits cut in-
to the top of his middle cover, but fqueezed dole
by the prefTure of his belly. Out of the right fob
hung a great filver chain with a wonderful kind of
engine at the bottom. "We directed him to draw
out whatever was at the end of that chain ; which
appeared to be a globe, half filver, and half of
fome tranfparent metal : for on the tranfparent
iide we faw certain ftranse figures circularly drawn,
and thought we could touch them, till we found
our fingers flopped by that lucid fubitance. He
put this engine to our ears, which made an incei-
fant noife like that of a water-mill : and we con*
jecture it is either fome unknown animal, or the
god that he worfhips ; but we are more inclinf d
to the latter opinion, becaufe he affured us (if we
underftood him right, for he expreifed hirnfelf ve-
ry imperfectly) that he feldom did any thing with-
out confulting it. He called it his oracle, and faid
it
I
Chap. II. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 337
it pointed out the time for every action of his life*.
Fiom the left fob he took out a net, almoif large
enough for a fiiherman, but contrived to open and
fhut like a purie, and ferved him for the fame ufe :
we found therein feveral mafTy pieces of yellow me-
tal, which, if they be real gold, mult be of im-
menfe value.
Having thus, in obedience to your majefty's com-
mands, diligently fearched all his pockets, we ob-
ferved a girdle about his waift, made of the hide of
fome prodigious animal, from which, on the left
fide, hung a fword of the length of five men ; and
on the right, a bag or pouch divided into two cells,
each cell capable of holding three of your majef-
ty's fubjecls. In one of thefe cells were feveral
globes, or balls, of a moft ponderous metal, about
the bignefs of our heads, and required a ftrorig
hand to lift them : the other cell contained a heap
of certain black grains, but of no great bulk or
weight, for we could hold above fifty of them in
the palms of our hands.
This is an exact inventorv of what we found a-
bout the body of the man-mountain, who ufed us
with great civility, and due refpecl: to your majef-
ty's commiilion. bigned and fealed on the fourth
day of the eighty-ninth moon of your majefty's
aulpicious reign.
Clcfrln Frelcc, Marfi Freloc.
When this inventory was read over to the Empe-
ror, he directed me, akhough in very gentle terms,
to deliver up the feveral particulars. He firft called
for my fcymiter, which i took out, fcabbard and
all. In the mean time he ordered three thoufand of
his choiceft troops (who then attended him) to fur-
* Perhaps the author intended to expofe the probable fallacy of o-
pinions derived from the relations of travellers, by mewing how lit-
tle truth need to be mifunderftood to make falfehood fpecious.
Vol. IV. F f round
33^
GULLIVER's TRAVELS. Parti.
round me at a diftance, with their bows and arrows
juft ready to difcharge : but I did not obferve it,
for mine eyes were wholly fixed upon his Majefty.
He then defired me to draw mv fcymiter, which,
although it had got fome ruit by the fea;- water, was
in nloft parts exceeding bright. I did fo, and im-
mediately all the troops gave a ihcut between terror
and furprize ; Tor the fun ihone clear, and the re-
flection dazzled their eyes, as I waved the icymitar
to and fro in my hand. His rnajeity, who is a moll
magnanimous prince #, was lefs daunted than I
cou d expect ; he ordered me to return it into the
fcat)bard, and cafe it on the ground as gently as I
could, about fix feet from the end of my chain. |
The next thing he demanded, was one of the hol-
low iron pillars ; by which he meant my pocket-
piilols. I drew it out, and at his defire, as well as
I could, expreiled to him the ufe of it ; and char-
ging only with powder, which by the clofenefs of
my pouch happened to efcape wetting in the fea
(an inconvenience againft which all prudent mari-
ners take fpecial care to provide) I mit cautioned
the Emperor not to be afraid, and then I let it off
in the air. The aftoniihment here was much great-
er than at the light of my fcymiter. Hundreds fell
down, as if they had been if ruck dead ; and even |
the Emperor, although he flood his ground, could
not recover himfelf in fome time. 'I delivered up both
my piftols in the fame manner, as I had done my
fcymiter, and then my pouch of powder and bul
lets ; begging him that the former might be kept
from fire, for it would kindle with the fmaUeft fpark,
and b'ow up his imperial palace into the air. I like-
wife delivered up my watch, which the Emperor
* He who does not find bimfelf d'f, of d to honour this m™nam-|
mily should reflect, that a light t<. judge of moral and intellectual x-
cellence is, with great ..bfunlity and luju'icr, arrogated by hi n whol
admire^, in a being- fix feet high, any gualities that he de-pifes in|
one, whofe ftature dots net exceed fix inches.
was
Chap. II. A VOYAGE TO LIUIPUT. 339
was vers curious to fee, and commanded two of his
t.illeit yeomen of the guards, to bear it on a pole
upon their moulders, as dry-men in England do a
ban-el of ale. He was amazed at the continual
noife it made, and the n otion of the minute-hand,
■which he could eafily difern ; for their fight are much
more acute than ours: he asked the opinions of his
lei ned men about it, which were various and re-
mote, as the reader may well imagine without my
repeating; although indeed I could not very per-
fectly underftand them. I then gave up my hlver
and copper money, my purfe with nine large pieces
of "old and fome fmaller ones ; my knife and ra-
zor, my comb and filver fnufi-box, my handker-
chief and journal-book. My fcymiter, piftols, and
pouch were conveyed in carriages to his Majefty's
ftores; but the reft of my goods were returned
me.
I had, as I before obferved, one private pocket,
which efcaped their fearch, wherein there were a
pair of fpeclacles (which I fometimes ufe for the
weaknefs of mine eyes) a pocket perfpective, and
fome other little conveniencies ; which being of no
confequence to the emperor, I did not think my-
felf hound in honour to difcover, and I apprehend-
ed they might be loft or fpoiled, if I ventured them
out of my pofTeffion.
F f 2 CHAP
340 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Part I.
C H A P. III.
The author diverts the Emperor and his nobility of both
/exes in a very uncommon manner. The diver/ions
of the court of Liltiput described. The author hath
his liberty granted him upon certain conditions.
1^ /f*Y genrlenefs and good behaviour had gained
JLVjl fo &r en the emperor and his court, and
indeed upon the army, and people in general, that
I began to conceive hopes of getting my liberty in a
ihort time. I took all poffible methods to cultivate
this favourable difpefition. The natives came by
clegrees to be lefs apprehensive of any danger from
me. I would fometimes lie down, and let five or fix
of them dance on my hand : and at laft the boys
and girls would venture to come and play at hide
and leek in my hair. I had now made a good pro-
greis in understanding and fpeaking their language.
The Emperor had a-rr.ind one day to entertain me
with feveral of the country fhows, wherein they
exceed all nations I have known, both for dexte-
rity and magnificence. I was diverted with nonelo
much, as that of the rope-dancers, performed up-
on a (lender white-thread, extended about two feet
and twelve inches from the ground Upon which
I fhall defire liberty, with the reader's patience, to
enlarge a little.
This diverflon is only pradtifed by thofe perfons,
who are candidates for great employments, and
high favour at court. They are trained in this art
from their youth, and are not always of noble
birth, or liberal education. When a great office is
vacant either by death or difgrace, (which often
happens) five or fix of thofe candidates petition the
Emperor to entertain his majefty and the court with
Chap. III. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 341
a dance on the iope, and whoever jumps the high-
eft without falling, iiicceeds in the office. Very
often the chief minifters themfelves are command-
ed to fhew their ikill, and to convince the Empe*
ror, that they have not ioft their faculty. Flim-
nap, the treafurer, is allowed to cut a caper on the
itrait rope at leaft an inch higher, than any other
lord in the whole empire. I hive feen him do the
flimmerfet * feveral times together upon a trencher,
ilxed on a rope, which is no thicker than a com-
mon packthread in England. My friend Reldief.il,
principal fecretary for private affairs, is, in my o-
pinion, if I am not partial, the fecond after the
Hreafurer \ the reft of the great officers are much.
upon a par.
Thefe diverfions are often attended with fatal ac-
cidents, whereof great numbers are on record. I
mviVif have feen two or three candidates break a
limb. But the danger is much greater when the
minifters themfelves are commanded to fhew their
dexterity ; for by contending to excel! themfelves
and their fellows, they ftrain fo far, that there is
hardly one of them who hath not received a fall,
and fome of them two or three.. I was afiured, that
a year or two before my arrival, Flimxiap would in <
fallibly have broke his neck, if one of" the king's-
culhions, that accidentally lay on the ground, had-
not weakened the force of his fall..
Xbere is likewife another diversion, which is on-
ly lhewn before the Emperor andEmprcfs, and firft
minifter upon particular occafions. The Emperor
lays on the table three fine filken threads of fix
inches long ; one it blue> the other red, and the
third green. Thefe threads are propofed as a prize
for thofe perfons, whom the Emperor hath a-mii:d
* Summerfet, or fummcrfault, a gambol of a tumbler, in wlrch he
{p-\ ogs up, turns heel over head in the air, . and ccraes down upon his
feet.
F f 3 to
34 * • , GULLIVERS TRAVELS . Part I,
to diflinguifh by a peculiar mark of his favour.
The ceremony is performed in his Majerry's great
chamber of flate, where the candidates are to un-
dergo a trial of dexterity very different from the
former, and fuch as I have not obferved the leaft
refemblance of in any other country of the old or
new world. The Emperor holds a flick in his hands,
both ends parallel to the horizon, while the candi-
dates advancing, one by one, fometimes leap over
the flick, fometimes creep under it, backwards and
forwards feveral times, according as the Hick is ad-
vanced or deprefTed. Sometimes the Emperor holds
one end of the flick, and his firft minifler the o-
ther ; fometimes the minifler has it entirely to him-
felf. Whoever performs his part with the mofl a-
gility, and holds out the longefh in leaping and
creeping is rewarded with the blue-coloured filk ;
the red is given to the next, and the green to the
third, which they all wear girt twice round a-
bout the middle ; and you fee few great perfons a-
bout this court, who are not adorned with one of
thefe girdles.
The horfes of the army, and thofe of the royal
{tables, having been daily led before me, were no
longer fhy, but would come up to my very feet
without ftarting. The riders would leap them over
my hand, as 1 held it on the ground ; and one of
the Emperor's huntfmen, upon a large courfer took
my foot, fhoe and all ; which was indeed a prodi-
gious leap. I had the good fortune to divert the
Emperor one day after a very extraordinary manner.
I defired he would order feveral flicks of two feet
high, and the thicknefs of an ordinary cane, to be
brought me; whereupon his Majefly commanded
the mafler of his woods to give directions according-
ly, and the next morning fix woodmen arrived
with as many carriages, drawn by eight horfes to
each. 1 took nine of thefe flicks, and fixing them
iirmly in the ground in a quadrangular figure, two
feet
Chap. III. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 343
feet and a half fqure, I took four other fticks, and
tied them parallel at each corner about nvo feet
from the ground ; then I faftened my handkerchief
to the nine fticks that flood erect ; and extended it
on all fides, till it was tight as the top of a drum :
and the four parallel fticks, riling about five inches
higher than the handkerchief, ferved as ledges on
each fide. When I had fmiihed my work, I defir-
ed the Emperor to let a troop of his belt horfe,
twenty- four in number, come and exercife upon
this plain. His Majefty approved of the propofal,
and I took them up one by one in my hands ready
mounted and armed, with the proper officers to ex-
ercife them. As foon as they got into order, they
divided into two parties, performed mock ikirmifh-
es, difcharged blunt arrows, drew their iwords,
fled, and pnrfued, attacked and retired, and in
fhort, difcovered the beft military difcipiine I ever
beheld. The parallel fticks fecured them and their
horfes from falling over the fbge ; and the Em-
peror was fo much delighted, that he ordered this
entertainment to be repeated feveral days, and once
was pleafed to be lifted up, and give the word of
command : and, with great difficulty, perfuaded e-
even the Emprefs herfelf to let me hold her in her
clofe chair within two yards of the ftage, from
whence me was able to take a full view of the whole
performance. It was my good fortune, that no
ill accident happened in thefe entertainments, only
once a fiery horfe, that belonged to one of the
captains, pawing with his hoof, ftruck a hole in
my handkerchief, and his foot flipping, he over-
threw his rider and himfelf ; but I immediately re-
lieved them both, and covering the hole with one
hand, I fet down the troop with the other, in the
fame manner as I took them up. The horfe that
fell was {trained in the left fhoulder, but the rider
got no hurt, and 1 repaired my handkerchief as
well as I could j however, I would not truft to the
ftrength
344 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Parti.
ftrength of it any more in fuch dangerous enter-
prizes.
About two or three days before I was fet at li-
berty, as I was entertaining the court with this kind
of feats, there arrived an exprefs to inform his ma-
jefty, that fome of his fubjects, riding near the
place where I was firft taken up, had feen a great
black fubfiance lying on the ground, very oddly
ihaped, extending its edges round as wide as his
Majefty's bed-chamber, and riling up in the middle
as high as a man ; that it was no living creature J
as they at firft apprehended, for it lay on the grafs
without motion ; and fome of them had walked
round it feveral times ; that, by mounting upOn
each other's fhoulders, they had ~<zot to the top,
which was flat and even, and ftampingupon it, they
found it was hollow within ; that they humbly con-
ceived it might be fomething belonging to the mart'
mountain ; and if his Majefty pleafed, they would
undertake to bring it only with live horfes. I pre-
fently knew what they meant, and was glad at heart
to receive this intelligence. It feems, upon my firft:
reaching the fhore after our fhipwreck 1 was in fuch
cbnfufion, that, before I came to the place where
I went to deep, my hat, which I had fattened with
a firing to my head while I was rowing, and had
ftuck on all the time I was lwimming, fell off
after I came to land; the firing, as I conjecture,
breaking by fome accident, which 1 never obferv-
cd, but thought my hat had been loft at fea. I in-
treated his imperial Majefty to give orders, it might
be brought to me as foon as ponible, defcribing to him
the ufe and the nature of it ; and the next day the
waggoner arrived with it, but not in a very good
condition ; they had bored two holes in the brim
■within an inch and half of the edge, and fattened
two hooks in the holes ; thefe hooks were tied by a
long cord to the harnefs, and thus my hat was drag-
ged along for above half an Englifh mile ; but, the
ground
Chap. III. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 345
ground in that country being extremely frnooth and
level, it received Lfs damage than I expecltd.
Two days after this adventure, the Emperor
having ordered that part of his army, which quar-
ters in and about his metropolis, to be in a readi-
nefs, took a fancy of diverting himkif in a very
lingular manner. He defired I would ftand like a
Coloffus, with my legs as far afunder as I conve-
niently could. He then commanded his general
(who was an old experienced leader, and a great
patron of mine) to draw up the troops in clofe or-
der, and march them under me ; the foot by
twenty-four in a bread, and the horfe by fixteen,
with drums beating, colours flying, and pikes ad-
vanced. This body confifted of three thoufand
foot, and a thoufand horfe. His Majefty gave or-
ders, upon pain of death, that every foldier in his
march mould obferve the ftricteft decency, with
regard to my perfon ; which, however, could not
prevent fome of the younger officers from turning
up their eyes, as they paffed under me : and, to
confefs the truth, my breeches were at that time in
fo ill a condition, that they afforded fome oppor-
tunities for laughter and admiration.
I had fent fo many memorials and petitions for
my liberty, that his Majefty at length mentioned the
matter firfc in the cabinet, and then a full coun-
cil ; where it was oppofed by none, except Skyrefh
Bolgolam, who was pleafed, without any provoca-
tion, to be my mortal enemy. But it was carried
againft him by the whole board, and confirmed by
the Emperor. That minifter was galbet, Or admi-
ral of the realm, verv much in his mafter's confi-
dence, and a perfon well verfed in affairs, but of a
morofe and four complexion. However, he was at
length perfuaded to comply ; but prevailed that
the articles and conditions upon which I ihould be
fet free, and to which I muft fwear, fhould be
drawn up by himfelf. Thefe articles were brought
to
346 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Parti.
to me by Skyrefh Bolgolam in perfon, attended by
two under-fecretaries, and feveral perfbns of dif-
tinc'tion. After they were read, I was deffi mded to
iwear to the performance of them ; nrft in die man-
ner of my own country, and afterwards in the me-
thod prefcribed by their laws, which was to hold my
right foot in my left hand, and to place the middle
finger of my right hand on the crown of my head,
and thumb on the tip of my right ear. But becaufe
the reader may be curious to have forne idea of the
ftyle and manner of exprefnon peculiar to that peo-
ple, as well as to know the articles upon which 1
recovered my liberty, I have made a translation of
the whole inftrument, word for word, as near as I
was able, which I here offer to the public.
Golbafto Momaren Evlame Gurdilo She/in Mully
Ully Gue, mod mighty Emperor of Lilliput, delight
and terror of the univerfe, whole dominions ex-
tend five thoufand blvfimgs (about twelve miles in
circumference) to the extremities of the globe ;.
monarch of all monarchs, taller than the fons of
men; whofe feet prefs down to the centre, and
whofe head ftrikes againft the fun ; at whofe nod
the princes of the earth make thc.ii knees ; plea-
fan t as the fpring, comfortable as the fummer.
fruitful as autumn, dreadful as winter. His moft
fublime Majefty propofeth to the man-mountain,
lately arrived at our celeftial dominions, the fol-
lowing articles, which by a folemn oath he mall be
obliged to perform.
i/f, The man-mountain mall not depart from our
dominions, without our licence under our great
feal.
2:/, He fhall not prefume to come into our me-
tropolis without our exprefs order ; at which time
the inhabitants fhail have two hours warning to
keep within doors.
3</, The faid man-mountain fhall confine his
walks
Chap. III. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 347
walks to ouf principal high-roads, and not offer
to walk or lie down in a meadow or field of corn.
4th, As he walks the laid roads, he (hall take the
utmoft care not to trample upon the bodies of any
of our loying iubjecis. their horfes, or carriages,
nor take any of our fubjecls into his hands without
their own content.
5/'', If an exprefs requires extraordinary dif-
patch, the man-tno mtain ihall be obliged to carry in
his pocket the meflenger and horfe a fix days jour-
ney once in every .moon, and return the laid mtf-
fenger back (if fo required) iafe to our Imperial
preTence.
6th, He fliall be our ally againft our enemies in
the bland of Jjiefufcu *, and do his utmoft to de-
ftroy their fleet, which is now preparing to invade
us.
nth, That the faid man-mpuntain ihall, at his
times of leifure, be aiding and affifting to cur work-
men, in helping to raite certain great (tones, to-
wards covering the wall of the principal park, and
other our royal buildings .
8tb, That the faid man-mountain fliall, in two
moons time, deliver in an exact furvey of the cir-
cumference of our dominions, by a computation of
his own paces round the coaft.
Laftiy, That upon his folemn oath to obferve 'all
the above articles, the laid man-mountain mail have
a daily allowance of meat and drink fufficient for
the fupport of 1724 of our fubjects, with free ac-
cels to our royal perfon, and other marks uf our
favour. Given at our palace at Belfaborac, the
twelfth day of the ninety- firft moon of our reign.
* In his def ription cf Lilliput, the author Hems tohave had Eng-
land moil knm . . e y in view. In his defcription of Blefu cu hs
fecir.s to intend the people ?nd kingdom of Fiance Yet the allegoiy
between thefe nations i; freq lently in eirupted, r.nd fcarce any where
eempkte. Sew raS jyft llrokes of f.aire are fcattered here and there
-cp.n erro.s in the conduft of oi.r ^ovemn'.ent. Onery,
I fworc
348 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Partl-
I (wore and fubfcribed to thefe articles with great
chearfulnefs and content, although fome of them
were not fo honourable as I could have wifhed ;
which proceeded wholly from the malice of Sky-
refh Bolgolam, the high-admiral ; whereupon my
chains were immediately unlocked, and I was at
full liberty. The Emperor himfelf, in perfon, did"
me the honour to be by at the whole ceremony. I
made my acknowledgments by protesting myfelf
at his Majefty's feet : but he commanded me to
rile ; and after many gracious expreffions, which,
to avoid die cenfure of vanity, I mall not repeat ;
he added, that he hoped I mould prove a ufeful
fervant, and well deferve all the favours he had
already conferred upon me, or might do for the
future.
The reader may pleafe to obferve, that, in the
loft article for the recovery of my liberty, the Em-
peror ftipulates to allow me a quantity of meat and
drink fufficient for thefupportof 1724 Lilliputians.
Some time after, aiking a friend at court, how
they came to fix on that determinate number ; he
told me, that his mathematicians having taken the
height of my body by the help of a quadrant, and
finding it to exceed theirs in the proportion of
twelve to one, they concluded, from the limila-
rity of their bodies, that mine muft contain at leaft
1724 of theiis, aud confcquently would require as
much food as was neceflary tofupport that number
of Lilliputians. By which die reader may conceive
an idea of the ingenuity of that people, as well as
the prudent and exact orconomy of fo great a
prince.
C II A P.
1
Chap. IV. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 349
CHAP. IV.
MUdendo, the metropolis of LiHiput, defcribed. toge-
ther with the Emperor's ■palace. A converfalion
between the author and a principal fcretary, con-
cerning the affairs of that empire. The author's
offers to ferve the Emperor in his wars.
^HE fir ft requeft I made, after I had obtained
mv liberty, was, that 1 might have licence to
fee Mildendo, the metropolis ; which the Emperor
eafily granted me, but with a fpecial charge to do
no hurt either to the inhabitants or their houfes.
The people had notice by proclamation, of my de-
fign to viiitthe town. The wall, which encompaf-
fed it, is two feet and a half high, and at leaft
eleven inches broad, lo that a coach and horfes
may be driven very fafely round it ; and it is flank-
ed with ftrong towers at ten feet diftance. I itepc
over the great weftern gate, and pafled very gently
and iideling, through the two principal ftreets, on-
ly in my fhort waiitcoat, for fear of damaging the
roofs and eaves of the houfes with the fkirts cf my
coat. I walked with the utmeft circumfpe-ftion to
avoid treading on any (trailers", wlio might re-
main in the ftreets : although the orders were very
Brier, that all people mould keep in their houfes
at their own peril. The garret-windows and
tops of houfes were fo crowtfed with fptclators,
that I thought in all my travels I had net
feen a more populous place The city is an exact
fquare, each fide of the wall being five hundred
feet long. The two great ftreets, which run crofs
and divide it into four quarters, are five {cct wide.
The lanes and alleys, which I could not enter, but
Vol. IV. G g only
0 J
o GULLIYER's TRAVELS, Part I.
only viewed them as I pafled, are from twelve to
eighteen inches. The town is capable of holding
five hundred thoufand fouls : the houfes are from
three to five ftoiies : the fhops and markets well
provided.
The Emperor's palace is in the centre of the city,
.where the two great ftreets meet. It is inclofcd by
a Avail of two feet high, and twenty feet diftance
from the buildings. I had his Majeity's permiffion
t3 ftep over this wall ; and the fpace being fo wide
between that and the palace, I could eaiily view it
on every fide. The outward court is a fquare of
forty feet, and includes two other courts ; in the I
mmoft are the royal apartments, which I was very
-cleiirous to fee, but found it extremely difficult ;
for the great gates, from one fquare into another,
were but eighteen inches hioh, and feven inches
wide. Now the buildings of the outer court were
at leafc flvefeet high, and it was impoflible for me to
ftride over them without infinite damage to the pile,
tho' the walls .were itrongiy built of hewn ftone,
and four inches thick. At the fame time theEm-
peror had a great deiire, that I fhould fee the mag-
nifience of his palace ; but this I was not able to do
till three days after, which I fpent in cutting down
with my knife fome of the largcit trees in the royal
park, about an hundred yards diftance from the
city. Of thefe trees I made two flools, each about
three feet high, and itroog enough to bear my
weight. The people having received notice a fe
fecond time, I went again through the city to the
palace, with my two ftools in my hands. When . I
came to the fide of the outer court, I ftood upon
one (tool, and took the other in my hand ; this I
lifted over fche roof, and gently fet it down on the
fpace between the iirft and the fecond court, which
was eight feet wide. I then llept over the building
very conveniently from one ftool to the other, and
drew up the firft after me with a hooked ftick.
By
/
,
Chap. IV. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 351
By this contrivance I "ot into the inmoft conn ;
and, lying down upon my fide, I applied my face
to the windows of the middle ftories, which
were left open on purpofe, and discovered the
moit fplendid apartments that can be imagin-
ed. There i i\\v the Enaprtfs and the young
princes in their Several lod sines with their chief at-
tendants about them. Her imperial Majefty was
pleafed to Smile very gracioufiy upon me, and gave
me out of the window her hand to kifs.
But I fliall not anticipate the reader with farther
defcriptions of this kind, becauSe I referve them
for a greater work, which is now almoit ready for
the prefs, containing a general defcription of this-
empire, from its nril erection thro' a long feries of
princes, with a particular account of their wars and
politics, laws, learning, and religion, their plants
and animals, their peculiar manners and cuftoms,
with other matters very curious and ufeful; my
chief defign at prefent being only to relate inch e-
vents and transactions, as happened to the public
or to my felf, during a residence of about nine-
months in that empire.
One morning, about a fortnight after I had ob-
tained my liberty, ReldreSal, principal Secretary (as
they ftile him) for private affairs; came to mv
houfe, attended only by one ferv ant. He ordeied
his coach to wait at a diftance, and defired I would
give him an hours audience : which I readily con-
sented to, on account of his quality and perfonai
merits, as well as of the many crood offices he had.
done me during my foliciations at court. I offer-
ed to lie down, that he might the more convenient-
ly reach my ear; but he chofe rather to let me
hold him in my hand during our -conversation. He
began with compliments on my liberty ; faid, he
might pretend to fome merit* in it : but howe-
ver added, that, if it had not been for the
prefent Situation of things at court, perhaps \
G g 2 might
y>2 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Parti.
might not have obtained it foToon. Ecv, faid he,
as fiouriining a condition as we appear to be in to
foreigners, we labour under two mighty evils ; a
violent faction at home, and the danger of an inva-
sion by a moft potent enemy from abroad. As to
the firft, you are to underftand, that, for above
feventy moons pad there have. been two ftruggling
parties in this empire, under the names of Tra*
meckfau, and Slameckfan f, from the high and
low heels of their fhoes, by which they diftinguifh
themfelves. It is alledged indeed, that the high
heels are moft agreeable to our ancient confti-
tution ; but, however this be, his Majefty
hath determined to make ufe only of low
heels in the adrniniftration of the government, and
all offices in the gift of the crown, as you cannot
"but obferve ; and particularly, that his Majefty's
imperial heels are lower at leaft by a drurr than
any of his court {drurr is a meafure about the four-
teenth part of an inch.) The animofities between
thefe two parties run fo high, that they will neither
eat nor drink, nor talk with each other. We com-
pute the Trameckfan, or high-heels, to exceed us
in number ; but the power is wholly on our fide.
We apprehend his imperial Highnefs, the heir to
the crown, to have foine tendency towards the high-
heels ; at leaft, Ave can plainly difcover, that one of
his heels is higher than the ether, which gives him a
hoble in his gait. Now, in themidft of thefe inteftine
difquiets, we are threatened with an invaiion from
the idand of Blefufcu, which is the other creat cm-
pire of the univerfe, almcfft as large and powerful
as this of his Maiefty: For as to what we have heard
* H^hOh\nch and Low-Church, or Wh:g ?.nd To-y. .As eery
accidental di Ference between man arid man, in perfm and circ ran -
ftances, is by this woik reodued extremely contempt, !.L* } fo fpecu-
la'ive differences are (hewn to be equally riciiculoiis. when the zeal,
with wh'ch they ave oppofed and defended, too much exceeds their
importance.
— VOU ]
Chap. IV. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 353
you affirm, that there are other kingdoms and
ltates in the world, inhabited .bv human creatures
as large as your! elf, our philofophers are in much
doubt, and would rather conjecture that you drop-
ped from the moon, or one of the ftars ; becauie
it is certain, that" an hundred mortals of your
bulk, would in a fhort time deftroy all the fruits
and cattle of his Majefty's dominions : befides*
our hiftories of fix thoufand moons make no men-
tion of any other regions, than the two great em-
pires of Lilliput and Blefufcu. Which two mighty
powers have, as I was going to tell you, been en-
gaged in a moft obftinate war for fix and thirt\
i>"o
V
moons pair. It began upon the following occa-
sion : it is allowed on all hands, that the primitive
way of breaking eggs, before we eat them, was upon
the larger end ; but his prefent Majefty's grand-
father, while he was a boy, going to eat an egg, and
breaking it accordin ■ to t.he ancient practice, hap-
pened to cut one of his fingers. Whereupon the
Emperor, his Either, published an eclic~r, command-
all his fubjecls, upon great penalties, to break
the imaller end of their eggs. The people fo high-
ly relented this law, chat our hiftories tell us, there
have been fix rebellions raifed on that account,
wherein one Emperor loft his life, and another his
crown. Thefe civil commotions were conftantly
fomented by the monarchs of Blefufcu ; and
when they were quelled, the exiles always fled for
refuge to that empire. It is computed that eleven
thoufand perfbns have at feveral times fufFered
death, rather than fubmit to break their eggs at
the imaller end. Many hundred large volumes
have' been publifhed upon this controverfy ; but
the books of the Bie-endians. have been Ions for-
bidden, and the whole party rendered incapable by
law of holding employments. During the courfe
of thefe troubles, the Emperors of Blefufcu did
frequently expoftulate by their ambaffadors, ac-
G g 3 cufing
354 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Part I.
cufing us of making a fchifm in religion, by offend-
ing againft a fundamental doctrine of our great
prophet Luftrog, in the fifty-fourth chapter of the
Blundecral (which is their Alcoran.) This how-
ever is thought to be a mere fcrain upon the text ;
for the words are thefe : That all true believers
break their eggs at the convenient end. And which
is the convenient end, feems in my humble opinion
to be left to every man's confcience, oratleaflin the
power of the chief magiftrate to determine. Now,
the Big-endian exiles have found fo much credit
in the Emperor of Bkfufcu's court, and fo much |
private afliftance and encouragement from their
party here at home, that a bloody war hath been
carried on between the two empires for fix and
thirty moons, with various fuccefs ; during which I
time we have loft forty capital mips, and a much
greater number of fmaller veffels, together with |
thirty thoufand of our beft feamen and foldicrs ;
and the damage received by the enemy is reckoned
to be fomewh.u greater than ours. However, they
have now equipped a numerous fleet, and are juft
preparing to make a defcent upon us : and his im-
perial Majeity, placing great confidence in your va-
lour and ftrength, hath commanded me to lay this
account of his affairs before you.
I deiired thefecretary to prefent my humble duty
to the Emperor, and to let him know, that I thought
it would not become me, who was a foreigner, to
interfere with parties ; but J was ready, with the
hazard of my life, tod efend his perfon and ftate
againft all invaders *.
* Gu'.ii er, without examining the fubje£l of difpute, readily en-
paced to defend hj Emperor agam't i vfj-.n, becaufe he knew, that
no fuch monarch had a right to invade the dominions 01" another,
though for the pro^agetion of truth,
CHAP.
Chap. V. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 355
*nMF*JU^3^3«^
Mlffe
C H A P. V.
7 he author , by an extraordinary flrataggm, prevents
an invafion, A high title of honour, is conferred
upon him, Ambajfadors arrive from the Emperor
of BUfufcu, and fue for peace. The Emprefs's
apartment on fre by an accident ; the author in-
ftrumental in faving the rcji of the palace,
n^HE empire of Blefufcu is an ifland, fituated to
■*■ the north-eaft fide of Lilliput, from whence it
is parted only by a channel of eight hundred yards
wide. I had not yet fecii it, and upon this notice of
an intended invafion, I avoided appearing on that
fide oi the coaft, for fear of being difecvered bv
fome of the enemy's mips, who had received no in-
telligence of me, all intercourfe between the tu o em-
pires having been ftrie~tly forbidden during the war,
upon pain of death, and an embargo laid by our
Emperor upon all veiTels whatfoever. I communi-
cated to his Majefty a project I had formed of feiz-
ing the enemy's whole fleet ; which, as our fcouts
allured us, lay at anchor in the harbour ready to
fail with the firft fair wind. I consulted the moft
experienced feamen upon the depth of the channel,
which they had often plummed ; who told me, that
in the middle, at high-water, it was feventy g/um-
gluffs^ deep, which is about fix feet of European
meafure ; and the reft of it fifty glz&nghrjfs at moft.
I walked to the north-eaft coaft, over arainft Ble-
fufcu ; where, lying down behind a hillock, I took
out my fmall perfpecHve-glafs, and viewed the ene-
my's fleet at anchor, confuting of about fifty men
of war, and a great number of transports : I then
came back to my houfe, and gave orders (for which
I had
356 GULLIV£R's TRAVELS. Part L
1 had a warrant) for a great quantity of the ftrong-
eft cable and bars of iron. The cable was about
as thick as pack thread, and the bars of the length
and fize of a knitting needle. I trebled the cable
to make it ttronge-r, and for the fame reafon I twitt-
ed three of the iron bars together, bending the
extremeties into a book. Having thus fixed fifty
hooks to as many cables, I went back- to the north-
eaft coatt, and putting off my coat, fhoes, and
blockings, walked into the fea in my leathern jer-
kin, about half an hour before hbh-water. I
waded with what hafte I could, and fwam in the
middle about thirty yards, till I felt ground ; I ar-
rived at the fleet in lefs than half an hour. The
enemy was fo frighted, when they faw me, that
they leaped out of their mips and fwam to more,
where they could not be fewer than thirty thou-
fand fouls ; I then took my tackling, and, fatten-
ing a hook to the hole at the prow of each, I tied
all the cords together at the end. While I was
thus employed, the enemy difcharged feveral thou-
fand arrows, many uf which fruck in my hands
and face ; and, beiides the excefiive fmart, gave
me much disturbance in my work. My greateft
apprehenhon was for mine eyes, which I fhould
have infallibly loft, if I had not fuddenly thought
of an expedient. I kept, among other little necel-
faries, a pair of fpectacles in a private pocket,
which, as I obferved before, had efcaped the Em-
peror's fearchers. Thefe I took out, and fattened
as ftrongly as I could upon my nofe, and thus arm-
ed, went on boldly with my work, in fpight of the
enemy's arrows, many of which ftruck againft the
giaffes of my fpectacles, but without any other ef-
fect, farther than a little to difcompofe them. I
had now fattened all the hooks, and taking the
knot in my hand, began to pull ; but not a fhip
would ttir, for they were all too faft held by
their anchors, fo that the boldeft part of my enter*
prife
Chap.V. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 357
prife remained. I therefore let go the cord, and
leaving the hooks flx.d to the mips, I refolutely
cut with my knife the cables that faftened the an-
chors, receiving above two hundred mots in my
face and hands ; then I took up the knotted end
or the cables, to which my hooks were tied, and
with great cafe drew iiftv of the enemy's lar^eft
men of war after me.
The Blefufcudians, who had not the leaft imagi-
nation of what I intended, were at firft confound-
ed with aftonifliment. They had feen me cut the
cables, and thought my defi£n was only to let the
ihips run a-drift, or fall foul on each other : but
when they perceived the whole fleet moving in or-
der, and law me pulling at the end, they fei up
fuch a fcream of grief and defpair, as it is almoil
impoiTible to defcribe or conceive. When I had
got out of danger, I ftopt a while to pick out the
arrows that ftuck in my hands and face ; and rub-
bed on fome of the fame ointment that was given
me at my fir ft arrival, as I have formerly mention-
ed. I then took oil* my fpectacles, and waiting a-
bout an hour, till the tide was a little fallen, I wad-
ed through the middle with my cargo, and arrived
iafe at the royal port of Lilliput.
The Emperor and his whole court ftocd on the
more, expecting the ilTue of this great adventure.
They faw the fhips move forward in a large half-
moon, but could not difcern me, who was up to
my breaft. When I advanced to the middle of the
channel, they were yet more in pain, becaufe I was
under water to my neck. The Emperor conclud-
ed me to be drowned, and that the enemy's fleet
was approaching in an hoftile manner : but he was
foon eafed of his fears, for the channel growing
lhallower every itep I made, I came in a fhort time
within hearing, and holding up the end of the ca-
ble, by which the fleet was faftened, I cried in a
loiid voice, Lor.g live the moft pv.ijjant Emperor cf
Lilliput !
558 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Parti.
LHtiput ! this great prince received me at my land-
ing, with all poihble encomiums, and created me a
Nardac upon the fpot, which is the higheft title of
honour among them,
PL's majefty defired, I would take fome other op-
portunity of bringing all the reft of Ms-enemy's {hips
into his ports. And ib unmeafurable is the ambition
of princes, that he feemed to think of nothing lefs
than reducing the whole empire of Blefufcu into a
province, and governing it by a vice-roy ; of de*
ftroying the Big-endian exiles, and compelling that
people to break the fmaller end of their eggs, by
which he would remain the fole monarch of the
whole world. But I endeavoured to divert him
from this defign, by many arguments drawn from
the topics of policy as well as jufKce : and I plain-
ly protefted, that I would never be an inftrument
of bringing a free and brave people into flavery.
And, when the matter was debated in council,
the wifeft part of the mini dry were of my opi-
nion.
This open bold declaration of mine was fo op-
polite to the fc hemes and politics of his imperial
inajefty, that- he could never forgive me ; he men-
tioned it in a very artful manner at council, where
I was told that fome of the wifeft appeared, at leaft
by their filence, to be of my opinion ; but others,
who were my fecret enemies, could not forbear
fome exprefhons, which by a fide-wind reflected on
me. And from this time began an intrigue be-
tween his majefty and a junto of minifters malici-
oufly bent againft me, winch broke out in lefs than
two months, and had like to have ended in my
utter deftruction. Of ib little weight are the
greateft fer vices to princes, when- put into the
balance with a refufal to gratify their paffions.
About three weeks after this exploit, there arriv-
ed a folemn embafiy from Blefufcu, with humble
offers of a peace ; which was fooa concluded up-
on.
Chap.V. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 359
on conditions very advantageous to our Emperor,
wherewith I ihall not trouble the reader. There
were fix ambaiTadors, with a train of about five
hundred perfons ; and their entry was very -magni-
ficent, i uitable to the grandeur of their mailer, and
the importance of their buiinefs. When their
treaty was fmiihed, wherein i did them feveral
£Ood office? by the credit I now had, or at leaft ap-
peared to have at court, their excellencies, who
were privately told how much I had been their
friend, made me a vifit in form. Thev began with
many compliments upon my valour and generofity,
invited me to that kingdom in the Emperor their
mafter's name, and dciired me to fhew them fome
proofs of my prodigious ftrength, of which they
had heard io many wonders ; wherein ,1 readily
obliged them, but ihall not trouble the reader with
the particulars.
When I had for fome time entertained their ex-
cellencies to their infinite fatisfaction and furprife,
I delired they would do me the honour to prefent
my moft humble refpects to the Emperor their maf-
ter, the renown of whofe virtues had fo juftly fill-
f d the whole world with admiration, and whofe
royal perion I refolvcd to attend before 1 returned
to my own country : accordingly, the next time I
had the honour to fee our Emperor, I dciired his
general licence to wait on the Blefufcudian mo-
narch, which he was pleafed to grant me, as I could
plainly perceive, in a very cold manner ; but could
not guefs the reafon, till 1 had a whifper from a cer-
tain perfon, that Flimnap and Holgolam had repre-
feiued my intercourfe with thofe ambaiTadors as a
mark of difafFection, from which 1 am fure my
heart was wholly free. And this was the -firft time
I began to conceive fome imperfect idea of courts
and minifters.
It is to be obferved, that thefe ambaiTadors fpoke
to me by an interpreter, the languages of both em-
pires
36o GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Parti.
pires differing as much from each other as any two
in Europe, and each nation priding itfelf upon the
antiquity, beauty, and energy of their own tongues,
with an avowed contempt for that of their neigh-
bour ; yet our Emperor, {landing upon the advan-
tage he had got by the feizure of their fleet, oblig-
ed them to deliver their credentials, and make their
fpeech in the Lilliputian tongue. And it mull be
confefTed, that from the great intercourfe of trade
and commerce between both realms, from the con-
tinual reception of exiles, which is mutual among
them, and from the cuflom in each empire, to fend
their young nobility and richer gentry to the other,
in order to polifh themfelves by feeing the world,
and underftanding men and manners ; there are
few perfons of diftinction, or merchants, or fea-
men, who dwell in the maritime parts, but what
can hold conversation in both tongues ; as I found
fome weeks after, when I went to pay my refpecfs
to the Emperor of Blefufcu, which in the midft of
great misfortunes, through the malice of my ene-
mies, proved a very happy adventure to me, as I
iliall relate in its proper place.
The reader may remember, that when I figned
thofe articles upon which I recovered my liberty,
there were fome which I difliked, upon account of
their being too fervile, neither could any thing but
an extreme neceilitv have forced me to fubmit. But
bcino- now a Nardac of the hisheft rank in that em-
pire, iuch offices were looked upon as below my dig-
nity, and the Emperor (to do him juiiice) never once
mentioned them to me. However, it was not long
before I had an opportunity of doing his majefty,
at lea.it as I then thought, a mofr fipnal fervice. I
was alarmed at midhMit with the cries of many
hundred people at my door; by which being ir.d--
dehly awaked, I was in ibrne kind of terror. I
heard the word Burglum repeated mceflantly : fe-
ver al of the femperbr's court, making their wav
through
* •
Chap. V. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 361
through the croud, intreated me to come immedi-
ately to the p dace, where her imperial majefty's
apartment was on fire, by the carelefnefs of a maid
of honour, who fell afleep while the was reading a
romance. I got up in an infiant ; and orders be-
ing given to clear the way before me, and it being
likcwife a moonihine night, I made a Ihift to get to
th<" palace without trampling on any of the people,
I found they had already a, plied ladders to the
walls of the apartment, and were well provided
with buckets, but the water was at fome diftance.
Thefe buckets were about the fize of a larae thim-
ble, and the poor peopL fupplied me with them as
fait as they could : but the flame was fo violent,
tint they did little good. I might ealily have ftiiled
it with my coat, which I unfortunately lef behind
me for hatte, and came away only in my leathern
jerkin. The cafe feemed wholly defperate and de-
plorable, and this magnificent palace would have
infallibly been burnt down to the ground, if, by a
prefence of mind unufual to me, i had not thou gl it
of an expedient. I had, the evening before, drank
plentifully of a moft delicious wine, called Glimi-
grim, (the Blefufcudians call it Flonec, but ours is
efteemed the better fort), which is very diuretic.
By the luckieft chance in the world 1 had not dif-
charged myielr of any part of it. The heat I had
contracted by coming very near the flames, and by
my labouring to quench them, made the wine be-
givi to operate by urine ; which I voided in fu ch a
quantity, and applied fo well to the proper places,
that in three minutes the fire was wholly extimuiih-
ed, and the reft of that noble pile, which had coft
fo many ag:s in erecting, preserved from deftruc-
tion.
It was now day-light, and I returned to mv
home without waiting to congratulate with the
Emperor : becat fe, although I had done a very e-
minent ..■ fervice, yet I could not tell how his
Vol H h Majefty
Z6z GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Part I.
JMajefty might refent the manner, by which I had
performed it: for, by the fundamental laws of the
realm, it is capital in any perfon, of what quality
ioever, to make water within the precincts of the
palace. But I was a little comforted by a meilage
from his Majefty, that he would give orders to the
grand justiciary for pairing my pardon in form-;
which however I could not obtain And I was
privately allured, that the Empr^fs, conceiving the
greater! abhorrence of what I had done, removed
to the mo ft diftant ride of the court, flrmlv refolv-
ed that thofe buildings mould never be repaired for
her ufe; and, in the prefence of her chief confi-
dents, could not forbear vowing revenge.
C H A P. VI.
Of the inhalitants of Li Hi put ; their learning, laws,
and cifoms ; the manner of educating their children.
The author 's way of living in that country. His
vindication of a great lady.
A LTHOTJGH I intend to leave the defcription
-* ^- of this empire to a particular treatife, yet in
the mean time I am content to gratify the curious
reader with fome general ideas. As the common
fize of the natives is fome what under fix inches
high, fo there is an exact proportion in all other a-
nimals, as well as plants and trees : for inftance,
the tailed horfes and oxen are between four and
five inches in height, the flieep an inch and half,
more or lefs ; the geefe about the bignefs of a fpar-
rowj and fo the feveral gradations downwards, till
you come to the fmalicft, which to my fight were
almoft invifible ; but nature hath adapted the eyes
C)f the Lilliputians to all objects proper for their
view :
Chap. VI. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 363
view : they fee with great exaclnefs, bin at no great
diftance. And, to fhew the fharpnefs of" their light
towards objects that are near, I have been much
pleafed with ohferving a cook pulling a lark, which
was not fo large as a common fly ; and a young
girl threading an inviiible needle with krvifible filk.
Their talleit trees are about ieven feet high : I mean
fome of thofe in the great royal park, the tops
whereof I could but jult reach with my fill clench-
ed. The other vegetables are in the fame pro-
portion ; but this I leave to the reader's imagina-
tion.
I fhall fay but little at prefent of their learning,
which for many ages hath flourifhed in all its
branches among them : but their manner of writ-
ing is very peculiar, being neither from the left to
the right, like the Europeans ; nor from the right
to the left, like the Arabians ; nor from up to
down, like the Chinefe ; but aflant from one
corner of the paper to the other, like ladies in
England.
They bury their dead with their heads directly
downwards, becaufe they hold an opinion, that i.i
eleven thoufand moons they are all to rife again,
in which period- the earth (which they conceive to
be flat) will turn upflde down, and by this means
they fhall, at their refurrection, be found ready
ftanding on their feet *. The learned among them
confefs the abfurdity of this doctrine, but the
* H re the author da~es even to exert rrs vein of humour fa liter-
ally, i<t to place the refurre£r.icn, one or" the molt encouraging princi-
ples of the Christian religion, in a ridiculous and contemptible light.
Why fhcu d that appoin'ment be denied to man or appear fo vt y ex-
t aordinary in the human kind, whi h xhc Author of nature has il»
Luftrated in the vege able fptci.s, where the feed dies and coirup s,
before i can rife og«in to new beauty and glorv ? Qrr.ry,
Hli z practice
364 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Parti,
practice ftill continues in compliance to the vul-
gar f.
There are Tome laws and cuftoms in this empire
very peculiar ; and if they were not fo directly con-
trary to thofe of my own dear country, I mould
be tempted to fay a little in their juftiflcation. It is
only to he wifhed they were as well executed. The
firft I {hall mention, relates to informers. All
crimes againfl the ftate are punifhed here with the
ut mo ft feverity ; but if the peribn accufed maketh
his innocence plainly to appear upon his trial, the
accufer is immediately put to an ignominious death;
and out of his goods or lands, the innocent perfon
is quadruply recompenfed for the lofs of his time,
for the danger he underwent, for the hardfhip of
his imprifonment, and for all the charges he hath
been in at making his defence. Or if that fund be
deficient, it is largely fupplied by the crown. The
Emperor alio confers on him fome public mark of
his favour, and proclamation is made of his inno-
cence through the whole city.
They look upon fraud as a greater crime than
theft, and therefore feldom fail to punifh it with
•f This paragraph, if it were examined with judgement and can-
dour, wou'd incline us to believe, that an opinion ot a li e to come is
connected !o immediately vvirh ail our reafoning faculties, that, fup-
pofing we had never been blefTed with any revelation from God, v.e
fhould believe the refurreclion to life eternal. The Lillipu.ians be-
ll, vc, th?t, af er eleven thoufand moons, the earth will be turnrd
u, fide i'own j and upon that account thev are buried with the'r heads
directly d wnward , in order to be found Itand.ng upon their feet at
the day of redirection : An opini n, which I confefc, with the
learned among themfefae.*, to be whimfica! and ridicu'ous enough.
But follies and ahfur lities are always mixed with idolatry and fu-
perflition. The Lilliputians were rank, idolaters; otherwife how
could thty imagine Gulliver's watch to be the pod that he worshipped ?
And therefore I cannot but infer, that inftead of placing the refur-
jeclion in a ridiculous contemptible l'ght. G> Uiver hath fairly mani-
fested the opinion of a Mate hereafter (although connected with fome
vanities and abfurdities, which are the effects of fuperftition) 10 be
the groundwork of all religion, founded upon the clear and firong
dicta'es, both of nature and reafon. Swift.
death ; .
Cfiap VI. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 365
death; for they alledge, that care and vigilance,
with a very common understanding, may preierve
a man's goods from thieves, but honefty has no
fence againft fuperior cunning ; and flnce it is ne-
ceflary that there fhould be a perpetual intercourfe
of buying and felling, and dealing upon credit ;
where fraud is permitted and connived at, or hath
no law to punifh it, the honeff dealer is always un-
done, and the knave gets the advantage. I remem-
ber, when I was was once interceding with the king
for a criminal, who had wronged h;s m after of a
great fum of money, which he had received by or-
der, and ran away with ; and happening to tell his
Majesty, by way of extenuation, that it was only
a breach of trust; the Emperor thought it mon-
ftrous in me to otter as a defence, the greateft ag-
gravation of the crime : and truly I had little to
lay in return, further than the common anfwer,
that different nations had different cuftoms ; for,
I confefs, I w.is heartily afhamed *.
Although we ufually call reward and puniihrnerft'
the two hinges, upon which all government turn?,
yet I could never obferve this maxim to be put in
practice by any nation, except that of Lilliput.
Whoever can there bring fufficient or oof, that hfe
hath strictly obferved the laws of his country for
feventy-three moons, hath a claim to certain privi-
leges, according to his quality and condition of
life, with a proportionable fum of money out of a
fund appropriated for that ufe : he likewife acquires
the title of jniilpalt, or legal, which is added toThis
name, but doth not defcend to his posterity; And
thefe people thought it a prodigious defefi of poli-
cy among us, when I told them, that our laws were
enforced only by penalties, without any mention of
reward. It is upon this account, that the im tge of
justice in their courts of judicature is formed with
* An ?tt of psrliameM bdTh been f.nce paiTed, ly vibith -fome
kreaclits uf txuft buve been made capi'al.
H h 3 fia
266 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Parti.
iix eyes, two before, as many behind, and on each
iide one, to iignify circumfpec'tion ; with a bag o£
gold open in her right hand, and a fword fheathed
in her left, to mew flie is more difpofed to reward
than to punifh.
In choofing perfons for all employments, they
have more regard to good morals than to great a-
bilities ; for, fince government is neceflary to man-
kind, they believe that the common iize of human
underftandings is fitted to fome ftation or other,
and that providence never intended to make the ma-
nagement of public affairs a myftery, to be compre-
hended only by a few perfons of fublime genius, of
which there feldom are three born in an age ; but
they fuppofe truth, juftice, temperance, and the
like, to be in every man's power, the practice of
of which virtues, afiifted by experience and a good
intention, would qualify any man for the fervice
his country, except where a courfe of fiiudy is re-
quired. But they thought the want of moral vir-
tues were fo far from being fupplied by fuperior en-
dowments of the mind, that employments could
never be put into fuch dangerous hands as thofe of
perfons fo qualified ; and at leaft, that the miitakes
committed by ignorance in a virtuous difpofition,
wouM never be of fnch fatal confequence to the
public weal, as the practices of a man whofe incli-
nations led him to be corrupt, and who had great
abilities to manage, to multiply, and defend his
corruptions.
In like manner, the difbelief of a divine provi-
dence renders a man uncapable of holding any pu-
blic ftation ; for, fince kings avow themfelves to be
the deputies of providence, the Lilliputians think no-
thing can be more abfurd, than for a prince to em-
ploy fuch men as difown the author ty under which
he að.
In relating thefe and the following laws would
only be understood to mean the original inititu-
tions,
Chap. VI. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 367
tions, and not the moil fcandalous corruptions, in-
to which thefe people are fallen, by the degenerate
nature of man. For as to that infamous practice
of acquiring great employments by dancing on the
ropes, or badges of favour and diltinction by leap-
ing over flicks, and creeping under them, the read-
er is to obferve, that they were iirft introduced by
the grandfather of the Emperor, now reigning, and
grew to the prefent height by the gradual mcreafe
of party and faction.
Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we
read it to have been in fome other countries; for
they reafon thus, that whoever makes ill returns to
his benefactor, muft needs be a common enemy ro
the reft of mankind, from whom he hath received
no obligat on, and therefore fuch a man is net lit
to live.
Their notions relating to the duties of parents and
children, differ extremely from ours. For, fince
the conjunction of male and female is founded up-
on the great law of nature, in order to propagate
and continue the fpecics, the Lilliputians will needs
have it, that men and women are joined together
like other animals, by the motives of concupifcence ;
and that their tendernels towards their young, pro-
ceeds fro i the like natural principle: for which
reafon they will never allow, that a child is under
any obligation to his father for begetting him, or to
his mother for bringing him into the world, which,
considering the naileries of human life, was neither
a benefit in itfelf, nor intended lb by his parents,
whofe thoughts in their love-encounters were other-
wife employed. Upon thefe, and the like reafonings^
their opinion is, tha.i parents are the laft of all o-
thers to be trufted with the education of their own
children : and therefore they have in every town
public nurferies, where all parents, except cotta-
gers and labour rs, are obliged to fend their ink mts
of both fexes to be reared and educated when they
come
3r»3 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Parti
come to the age of twenty moons, at which time
they are fuppofed to havefome rudiments of docili-
ty. Thefe fchools are of feveral kinds, fuited to
different qualities, and to both fexes. They have
certain profeifors well fkilled in preparing children
for fuch a condition of life as befits the rank of
their parents, and their own capacities as well as
inclinations. I fnaii hrft fay fomething of-the male
nurferies, and then of the female.
The nurferies for males of noble or eminent
birth, are provided with grave and learned profef-
fors, ao-d their feveral deputies. The clothes and
food of the children are plain and Ample. They
are bred up in the principles of honour, juilice,
courage, modefty, clemency, religion and love of
their country ; they are always employed in fome
bunnefs, except in the times of eating and fleeping,.
which are very fhort, and two hours for diverfions,
confining of bodily exercifes. They are d relied by
men till four years of age, and then are obliged to
d els themfelves, although their quality be ever (o
great ; and the women attendants; who are aged
proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only the moft
menial offices. They are never fuffered to converle
with fervan'ts, brut go together in fmaller or great-
er numbers to take their diveriions, and always in
the prefence of a profeflbr, or one of his deputies ;
whereby they avoid tfaofe early bad imprefiions of
folly and vice, to which our children are fubjecr.
Their parents are fuiFered 'o fee them only twice a-
year ; the vifit is to lath but an hour; they are al-
lowed to kifs the child at meeting and parting : but
a profeflbr, who always itands bv on thofe occa-
fions, will not fufter them to whlfper, or ufe any
fondling expr. ilions, or bring any prefents of toys,
fweetineats, and the like.
The penfion from each family for the education
and entertainment of a child, upon failure of due
payment, is levied by the Emperor's officers.
The
Chap. VI. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 369
The nurferies for children of ordinary gentle-
men, merchants, traders, and handicrafts, are ma-
naged proportionally after the fame manner ; only
thofe deiigneel for trades are put out apprentices at
eleven years old, whereas thole of perions of qua-
lity continue their exeicifes till rifteeen, which an-
fwers to twenty-one with us : but the confinement
is gradually leffened for the lad: three years.
In the female nurferies, the young girls of quali-
ty are educated much like the males, only they are
drefTed by orderly fervants of their own fex ; but
always in the prefence of a profeiibr or deputy, till
they come to drefs themfelves, which is at five years
old. And if it be found, that theie nurfes ever
prefume to entertain the girls with frightful or fool-
ifh ftories, or the common follies pradtifed by
chamber-maids among us, they are publicly whipped
thrice about the city, imprifoned for a year, and
baniihed for life to the rnoif. defolate part of the
country. Thus the young ladies there are as much
afhamed of being cowards and fools, as the men,
and defpife all perfonal ornaments beyond decency
and cleanlinefs : neither did I perceive any differ-
ence in their education, made by their difference of
fex, only that the exercifes of the females were not
altogether fo robuft ; and that fome rules were gi-
ven them relating to domeitic life, and a fmailer
compafs of learning was enjoined them : for their
maxim is, that among people of quality, a wife
mould be always a reafonable and agreeable com-
panion, becaufe flie cannot always be young When
the girls are twelve years old, which among them is
the marriageable age, their parents or guardians take
them home with great expreffions of gratitude to
the profeffors, and feldom without tears of the
young lady and her companions.
In the nurferies of females of the meaner fort, the
children are inftructed in all kinds of works prober
for their lex, and their feveral degrees ; thofe in-
tended
370 GULLIVER's TRAVELS. Parti.
tended for apprentices are difmiffed at feven years
old, the reft are kept to eleven.
The meaner famines, who have children at thefe
nurferies, are obliged, befides their annual pen-
fion, which is as low as poflible, to return to the
fteward of the nurfery, a fmall monthly (hare of
their gettings, to be a portion for the child ; and
therefore all parents are limited in their expencesby
the law. For the Lilliputians think nothing can
be more unjuft, than for people, in fubfervience
to their own appetites, to bring children into the
world, and leave the burden of fupporting them
on the public. As to perfons of quality, they give
fecurity to appropriate a certain fum for each child,
fuitable to their condition ; and thefe funds are al-
ways managed with good hufbandry, and the molt
exact juftice.
The cottagers and labourers keep their children
at home, their buiinefs being only to till and culti-
vate the earth, and therefore their education is of
little confeque.ee to the public; but the old and
difeafed among them are fupported by hofpitals :
for brgrG[insf is a trade unknown in this empire.
And here it may perhaps divert the curious read-
er to give fo ne account of my domeftics, and my
manner of living in this country, during the resi-
dence of nine months and thirteen days. Having
a head mechanically turned, and being likewife
forced by neceffity, I had made for myielf a table
and chair, convenient enough, out of the largeft
trees in the royal park. Two hundred fempftreffes
were employed to make me fliirts, and linen for
my bed and table, all of the ilrongeft and coarfeft
kinds they could get ; which however they were
force 1 to quilt together in fcveral folds, for the
thickeftwas fome degrees finer than lawn. Their
linen is ufually three inches wide, and three feet
make a piece. The fempftrefles took my meafure
as I lay on the ground, one ihinding at my neck
ana
Chap. VI. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 37r
and another at my mid-leg, with a fhong cord ex-
tended, that each held by the end, while a third
meafured the length of the cord with a rule of an
inch long. Then they meafured my thumb, and
deiircd no more ; for by a mathematical compu-
tation, that twice round the thumb is once round
the wrift, and fo on to the neck and waft and by
the help of my old fhirt, which I difplayed on the
ground before them for a pattern, they fitted me
exactly. Three hundred taylors were employed in
the fame manner to make my clothes ; but they
had another contrivance for taking my meafure.
I kneeled down, and they laifed a ladder from the
ground to my neck ; upon this ladder one of them
mounted, and let fall a plum-line from my collar to
the floor, which juft anfwered the length of my
coat ; but my waift and arms I meafured myfelf.
When my clothes were finifhed, which was done
in my houfe (forthelargeftof theirs would nothave
been able to hold them) they looked like the patch-
work made by the ladies.in England, only that mine
were all of a colour.
I had three hundred cooks to drefs my victuals
in little convenient huts built about my houfe, where
they and their families lived and prepared me two
dimes apiece. I took up twenty waiters in my hand,
and placed them on the table ; an hundred more
attended below on the ground, fome with dimes of
meat, and fome with barrels of wine, and other li-
quors, flung on their fhouldei s ; all which the
waiters above drew up, as I wanted, in a very in-
genious manner by certain cords, as we draw the
bucket up a well,- in Europe. A dim of their meat
was a good mouthful, and a barrel of their liquor a
reafonable draught. Their mutton yields to ours,
but their beef "is excellent. I have had a flrloin fo
large, that I have been forced to make three bits of
it; but this is rare. My fervants wereaftonifhed to
fee me eat it, bones and all, as in our country we
do
37X GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Parti.
do the leg of a lark. Their geefe and turkies I n-
fually eat at a mouthful, and I muft confefs, they
far exceed ours. Of their fmaller fowl I could take
up twenty or thirty at the end of my knife.
One day his Imperial Majefcy, being informed
of my way of living, defired that himfelf and his
royal confort, with the young princes of the blood
of both fexes. might have the happinefs (as he was
pleafed to call it) of dimng with me. They came
accordingly, and I placed them in chairs of fhite up-
on my table, juitover againfc me, with their guards
about them. Flimnap, the lord high treafurer, at-
tended there likewife with his white itaff; and I ob-
ferved he often looked on me with a lour countenance,
which I would not feem to regard, but eat more
than ufual, in honour to my dear country, as well
as to fill the court with admiration. I have fome
private reafons to believe, that this vifit from his
Majeity gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing me
ill offices to his mafter. That minifter had always
been my fecret enemy, though he outwardly carefT-
ed more than was ufual to the morofenefs of his
nature. He reprefented to the Emperor the low con-
dition of his ti eafury ; that he was forced to take up
money at great difcount ; that exchequer bills would
not circulate under nine fer cent . below par ; that
I had coft his Majefly above a million and a half of
fprugs (their greater! gold coin, about the bignefs
of a fpangle) and upon the whole, that it would
be advifeable in the Emperor to take the firft fair
occafion of difmiffing me.
. I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of
an excellent lady, who was an innocent fufferer up-
on my account. The treafurer took a fancy to be
jealous of his wife, from the malice of fome evil
tongues, who informed him that her grace had ta-
ken a violent affection for my perform ; and the
court-fcandal ran for fome time, that the once came
privately to my lodging. This I folemnly declare
to
Chap. VI. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 373
to be a moft infamous falfehood, without any
grounds, further than that her grace was pleafed to
treat me with all innocent marks of freedom and
friendihip. I own me came often to my houfe, but
always publicly, nor ever without three more in
the coach, who were ufually her lifter and young
daughter, and fome particular acquaintance ; but
this was common to many other ladies of the court.
And I appeal to my fervants round, whether they
at any time faw a coach at my door, without know-
ing what perfons were in it. On thefe occalions,
when a fervant had given me notice, my cuftom was
to go immediately to the door*, and, after paying
my rcfpects, to take up the coach and two b Giles
very carefully in my hands (for, if there were nx
horfes, the poftilion always unharnefTed four) <nd
placed them on a table, where I had fixed a men e-
fcble rim, quite round, of five inches high, to pre-
vent accidents. And I had often four coaches and
horfes at on my table, full of company, while I fat
in my chair, leaning my face towards them ; and,
when I was engaged with one fet, the coachmen
would gently drive the others round my table. I
have paiTed many an afternoon very agreeably in
thefe converiations. But I defy the treafurer, or his
two informers, (I will name them, and let them make
their beft of it) Ciuftril and Drunlo, to prove that
any perfon ever came to me incognito, except the
Secretary Reidrefal, who was fent by exprefs com-
mandof his imperial Majefty, as Ihave before related.
I mould not have dwelt lb long upon this particu-
lar, if it it had not been a point wherein the repu-
tation of a great lady is lb nearly concerned, to fay
nothing of my own, though I then had the honour
to be a Nardac, which the trc.iiu:er himfclf is not ;
for all the world knows, that he is oniv a Glum-
glum, a title inferior by one degree, as that of a
Marquis is to a Duke in England ; yet I allow he pre-
ceded me in right of his port. Thefe falfe informa-
Vol. IV. I i tions,
374 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Part L
tions, which I afterwards came to the knowledge
of by an accident not proper to mention, made the
trealurer mew his lady for fome time an ill counte-
nance, and me a worie ; and although he was at laft
undeceived and reconciled to her, yet I loft all cre-
dit with him, and found my intereft decline very
fad: with the Emperor himfelf, who was .indeed too
much governed by that favourite.
C H A P. VIL
Th£ author, being informed of a defign to accufe him
of high-treafon-i tnaketh his efcape to Biefufciu His
reception there.
EFOP^E I proceed to give an account of my
leaving this kingdom, it may be proper to
inform the reader of a private intrigue, which had
been for two months forming again ft me,
I had been hitherto all my life a ftranger to courts,
for which I was unqualified by the meannefs of
mvcondition. I had indeed heard and read enough
of the difpolitions of great princes and minifters ;
but never expected to have found fuch terrible ef-
fects of them in fo remote a country, governed, as
I thought, by very different maxims from thofe ia
Europe.
When I was juft preparing to pay my attendance
on the Emperor of Blefufcu, a confiderable perfon
at court (to whom I had been very ferviceable at a
time, when he lay under the higheft difpleafure of
his imperial Majefty) came to my houfe very pri-
vately at night in a clofe chair, and, without fend-
ing his name, deiired admittance : the chairmen
were difmuTed : I put the chair, with his lordfkip
in it, into my coat-pocket ; and, giving orders to a
trufty
Chap. VII. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 375
trufty fervant to fay I was indifpofed and gone to
deep, I fattened die door of my hemic, placed the
chair on the table, according to my ufual cu&om,
and fat down by it. After the common falutations
were over, obicrving his Lordihip's countenance;
full of concern, and inquiring into the jeafon, he
deiired I would hear him with patience in a matter,
that highly concerned my honour and my life. Ilia
fpeech was to the following effect, for I took notes
of it as foon as he left me.
You are to know, faid he, that feveral committees
of council have been lately called in the mo ft private
manner on your account ; and it is but two davs
ilnce hisMajefty came to a full reiblution.
You are very fenlible, that Skyriih Bolgolam
(galbet, or high-admiral) hath been your mortal e-
nemy almoft ever iince your arrival : his original
reafons 1 know not ; but his hatred is increafed
fince your great fuccefs againft Blefufcu, by which
his glory, as admiral, is much obfeured. This lord,
in conjunction with Flimnap, the high-treafurer,
whofe enmity againft you is notorious on account
cf his lady. Limtoc the general, Lalcon the cham-
berlain, and BalmufF the grand judiciary, have pre-
pared articles of impeachment againft you for trea-
son, and other capital crimes.
This preface made me fo impatient, being con-
fcious of my own merits and innocence, that I was
going to interrupt ; when he intreated me to be fi-
lent, and thus proceeded.
Out of gratitude for the favours you have done me,
I procured information of the whole proceedings,
and a copy of the articles ; wherein I venture my
head for your fervice.
Ii 2 JirtictPi
376 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. PartL
Articles of impeachment againjl Quinbus Flejlrin^ the
man-mountain.
ARTICLE I.
Whereas, by a ftatute made in the reign of his
imperial Majefty Calen Deffar Plune, it is enacted,
that whoever fhall make water within the precinc"ls
of the royal palace, fhall be liable to the pains and
penalties of high-treafon : notwithftanding the faid
Quinbas Fleftrin, in open breach of the find law,
under colour of extinguiihing the fire kindled in
the apartment of his Majefty's moft dear imperial
confort, did malicioufly, traiteroufly, and devilifh-
ly, by difcliarge of his urine, put out the faid fire
kindled in the faid appartment, lying and being
within the precincts of the faid royal palace, againft
the ftatute in that cafe provided, <&c. againft the
duty, <bc.
ARTICLE II.
That the faid Quinbus Fleftrin having brought
the imperial fleet of Blefufcu into the royal port,
and being afterwards commanded by his imperial
Majefty to feize all the other mips of the faid em-
pire of Blefufcu, and reduce that empire to a pro-
vince to be governed by a viceroy from hence, and
to deftroy and put to death, not only all the Big-
endian exiks, but likewife all the people of that em-
pire, who would not immediately forfake the Big-
endian herefy ; he, the faid Fleftrin, like a falfe trai-
tor againft his moft aufpicious, ferene, imperial
Majefty, did petition to be excufed from the faid
fervice, upon pretence of unwillingnefs to force the
confeiences, or deftroy the liberties and lives of an
innocent people *.
A R-
* A l.v.wcr thinks himfelf heneft if he docs the heft he can for
his
Chap;. VII. A VOYAGE TO LILL1PUT. 377
ARTICLE III.
That, whereas certain ambafladors arrived from-
the court of Blefufcu to fue for peace in his Majefty's
court, he, the faid Fleftrin, did, like a falfe trai-
tor, aid, abet, comfort, and divert the faid am-
bafladors, although he knew them to be fervants to
a prince, who was lately an open enemy to his im-
perial Majefty, and in open war againft his faid Ma-
jeiry.
ARTICLE IV..
That the faid Quinbus Fleftrin, contrary to tKe
duty of a faithful iubjecl, is now preparing to make
a voyage to the court and empire of Blefufcu, for
which he hath received only verbal licence from hh
imperial Majerly ; and under colour of the faid li-
cence, doth falfely and traiterouflv intend to take
the faid voyage, - and thereby to aid, comfort, and
abet, the Emperor of Blefufcu, folate an enemy*
and in open war with his imperial Majefty aforeiaij,
There are fome other articles, but th'efs are the
moft important, of which I have read you an ab-
ftracl.
In the feveral debates upon this impeachment it
mult be conferled, that his Majefty gave many marks
of his great lenity, often urging the fervices you
had done him, and endeavouring to extenuate your
crimes. The treafurer and admiral inilfted, that
you mould be put to the moft painful and ignomi-
nious peath, by fetting fire on your hcufe at night,
and the general was to attend with twenty thoufand '
his client', and a flatefman, if he promotes rhe intereft cf h:s cciu-
try : but the Dean here inculcates an higher notion, of )icht and
tvrong, and obligations to a larger community,
I i 3 men-
37§ GULLIVER's TRAVELS. Parti.
men armed with poifoned arrows, to moot you on
the face and hands. Some of your fervants were
to have private orders to ftrew a poifonous juice on
your ihirts and meets, which would foon make you
tear your own flefh, and die in the utmoft torture.
The general came into the fame opinion ; fo that
for a long time there was a majority againft you :
but his Majefty refolving, if pomble, to fpare your
life, at laft brought oh0 the chamberlain.
Upon this incident, Reldrefal, principal fecretary
for private affairs, who always approved himfelf
"your true friend, was commanded by the Emperor
to deliver his opinion, which he accordingly did;
and therein juAitied the good thoughts you have of
him. He allowed ycur crimes to be great, but that
"ftill there was room for mercv, the molt commend-
able virtue in a prince, and for which his Majefty
was fo juftly celebrated. He faid, the friendship
between you and him was fo well known to the
world, that perhaps the moft honourable board
might think him partial t however, in obedience to
the command he had received, he would freely
offer his fentiments. That if his Majefty, in con-
iideration of your fervices, and purfuant to his
own merciful difpofttion, would pleafe to fpare
your life, and only give orders to put out both your
eyes, he humbly conceived, that by this expedient
jufiice might in fome meafure be fatisfied, and all
the world would applaud the lenity of the Empe-
ror, as well as the fair and generous proceedings of
thofe who have the honour to be his counfellors.
That the lofs of your eyes would be no impedi-
ment to your bodily ftrength, by which you might
ftill be ufeful to his Majeify : that blindnefs is an
addition to courage, by concealing dangers from
us ; that the fear you had for your eyes was the
greateft difficulty you had in bringing over the ene-
mies fleet ; and it would be fufficient for you to fee
by
Chap.Vn. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 379
by the eyes of the minifters, fince the greateft
princes do no more.
This proposal was received ■with the utmoft dif-
approbarion by the whole board. Bolgolam the
admiral could not preferve his temper ; but riling
up in fury faid, he wondered how the fecretary
durft prefume to give his opinion for preferving
the life of a traitor : that the fervices you had per-
formed were, by all true reafons of irate, the great
aggravation of your crimes ; that you, who was
able to extinguish the fire by dil charge of urine in
her Majeify's apartment, (which lie mentioned with
horror), might, at another time, raife an inunda-
tion by the fame means to drown the whole palace;
and the fame Strength which enabled you to bring
over the enemies fleet, might ferve, upon the firil
difcontent, to carry it back : that he had good rea-
fons to think you were a Big-eftdian in your heart ;
and as treafon begins in the heart, before it appears
in overt- acts, fo he accufed you as a traitor on that
account, and therefore infilled you Should be put
to death.
The treafurer was of the fame opinion : he shew-
ed to what Straits his Majefty's revenue was redu-
ced, by the charge of maintaining you, which
would loon grow infupportable : that the fecretary's
expedient of putting out your eyes was fo far from
being a remedy againft this evil, that it would pro-
bably increafe it, as is manifeft from the common
practice of blinding fome kind of fowl, after which
they fed the falter, and grew fooner fat : that his
facred Majefty and the council, who are your judges,
were in their own confciences fully convinced of
your guilt, which was a Sufficient argument to con-
demn you to death, without the formal proofs re-
quired by the Strict letter of the law *.
But
* There 13 fomething fo odious in whatever is wrong, that even
thofe whom it does not fubjeft to punifhment, endeavour to colour it
with
380 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Part L
But his imperial Majefty, fully determined againfi:
capital punilhment, was gracioufly pleafed to fay,
that fince the council thought the lois of your eyes
too eafy a cenfure, fome other may be inflicted'
hereafter. And your friend, the fecretary, hum-
bly defiring to be heard again, in anfwrer to what
the treafurer had objected concerning the great
charge his Majefty was at in maintaining you, laid,
that his Excellency, who had the fole difpofal of
the Emperor's revenue, might eafily provide againfi:
that evil, by gradually lefTening your eftablifhment ; .
by which, for want of fufficient food, you would
grow weak and faint, and lofe your appetite, and
confume in a few months ; neither would the ftench
of your carcafe be then fo dangerous, when it
Ihould become more than half diminifhed ; and
immediately upon your death, five or fix thoufand
of his Majefty 's fubjects might in two or three days
cut your flefh from your bones, take it away by
cart-loads, and bury it in diftant parts to prevent
infection, leaving the ikeleton as a monument of
admiration to pofterity.
Thus, by the great friendfhipof the. fecretary, the
whole affair was compromifed. It was ftrictly en-
joined, that the project of ftarving you by degrees
ihould be kept a fecret, but the fentence of putting
out your eyes was entered on the books ; none dii-
fenting except Bolgolam the admiral, who, being
a creature of the Emprefs, was perpetually infti-
gated by her Majefty to infift upon your death, me
having borne perpetual malice againft you on ac-
count of that infamous and illegal method you took
to extinguifh the fire in her apartment.
with an appearance of right ; but the at'empt is always unfuccef^ful,
anJ only b-'trays a confcioufncfs of deformity, by mewing a difire to
hde it. Thus the Lilliputian court pretended a right to dtfpenfe
with the f rict letter of the law to put Gulliver to death, though by
the Ariel letter of the law only he could be convict d of a crime;
the intention of the ftatute not being to fuft'er the palace rather to be
'burnt, than piilcd upon.
In
Chap. VII. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 3&1
In three days, your friend the Secretary will be
directed to come to your houfe, and read before
you the articles of impeachment ; and then to Sig-
nify the great lenity and favour of his Majefty and
council, whereby you are only condemned to the
lofs of your eyes, which his Majefty doth not que-
ftion you will gratefully and humbly fubmit to ;
and twenty of his Majefty's iurgeons will attend, in
Order to fee the operation well performed, by dis-
charging very (harp-pointed arrows into the balls of
your eyes, as you lie on the ground.
I leave to your prudence what meafures you will
take ; and, to avoid iuipicion, I muft immediately
return, in as private a manner as I came.
His Lordfhip did lb, and I remained alone under
many doubts and perplexities of mind.
It was a cuftom, introduced by this prince and
his miniftry, (very different, as i have been
aflured, from the practices of former times),
that after the court had decreed any cruel execu-
tion, either to gratify the monarch's refentment, or
the malice of a favourite, the Emperor always made
a fpeech to his whole council, exprefling his great
lenity and tendernefs, as qualities known and con-
felled by all the world. This fpeech was immedi-
ately publifhed through the kingdom ; nor did any
thing terrify the people fo much as thole encomi-
ums on his Majefty's mercy ; becaufe it was obferv-
ed, that, the more thefe praifes were enlarged and
infifred on, the more inhuman was the puniihment,
and the fufferer more innocent. Yet, as to myfelf,
I muft confefs, having never been defigned for a
courtier, either by my birth or education, I was fo
ill a judge of things, that I could not difcover the
lenity and favour of this fentence, but conceived
it (perhaps erroneously) rather to be rigorous than
gentle. 1 fometimes thought of ftanding my trial;
for although I could not deny the facts alledged in
the feveral articles, yet I hoped they would admit
©f
'3«2 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Part J.
of fome extenuation. But having in my life per-
ufed many ftate-trkta, wkich I ever obferved to
terminat. s the judges thought fit to direct, I durft
not rely on io dangerous a deciiion, in fo critical
a juncture, and r ; sinft fuch powerful enemies*
Once I was ftrong.Iy bent upon reiiftance, for,.wh e
I had liberty, the whole ftrength of that empire
could hardly fubdue me, and I might ealily with,
ftones pelt the metropolis to pieces ; but I foon re-
jectee! that project with horror, by remembering
the oath I had made to the Emperor, the favours
I received from him, and the high title of Nardac
he conferred upon me Neither had I fo foon
learned the gratitude of courtiers, to perfuade my-
felf, that his Maj city's pre! ent feverities acquitted
me of all paft obligations.
At laft I fixed upon a refolution, for which it is
probable I may incur {cms cenfure, and not unjuft-
ly : ror, I confels, I owe the preferving mine eyes,
and confequently my liberty, to my own great rafh-
nefs, and want of experience ; becaufe, if I had
then known the nature of princes and minifters,
which I have fince obferved in many other courts,
and their methods of treating^ criminals, lefs ob-
noxious than myfelf, I mould with great alacrity
and readinefs have fubmitted to fo eafy a punifh-
ment. But, hurried on by the precipitancy of
youth, and having his Imperial Majefty's licence
to pay my attendance upon the Emperor of Ble-
fufcu, I took this opportunity, before the three
days were elapfed, to fend a letter to my friend the
fecretary, fignifying my refolution of fetting out
that morning for Blefulcu, purfuant to the leave I
had got ; and, without waiting for an anfwer, I
Avent to that fide of the ifland where our fleet lay.
I feized a large man of war, tied a cable to the
prow, and, lifting up the anchors, I ftript myfelf,
put my cloaths (together with my coverlet, which I
carried under my arm) into the vefTel, and drawing-
it
Chap. VII. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 383
it after me, between wading and fwimming arrived
at the royal port of Blefufcu, where .the people had
long expected me ; they lent n*e two guides to di-
rect me to the capital city, which is of the fame
name. I held them in my hands, till I came with-
in two hundred yards of the gate, and defired
them to fignify my arrival to one of the fecretaries,
and let him know I there waited his Majelty's com-
mand. I had an anfwer in about an hour, that
his Majefty, attended by the royal family and great
officers of the court, was coming out to receive
me. I advanced a hundred yards. The Emperor
and his train alighted from their horfes, the Em-
preis and ladies from their coaches, and I did not
perceive they were in any fright or concern. I lay
on the ground to kifs his Majefty 's and the Em-
prefs's hand. I told his Majefty that I was come,
according to my promiie, and with the licence of
the Emperor my matter, to have the honour of
feeing fo mighty a monarch, and to offer him any
fervice in my power, confiftant with my duty to
my own prince ; not mentioning a word of my dif-
grace, becaufe I had hitherto no regular informa-
tion of it, and might fuppofe myfelf wholly igno-
rant of any fuch defign ; neither could I reafona-
bly conceive, that the Emperor would diicover the
fecret, while I was out of his power ; wherein how-
ever it foon appeared I was deceived.
I fhall not trouble the reader with the particular
account of my reception at this court, which was
f uitable to the generofity of fo great a prince ; nor
of the difficulties I was in for want of a houfe and
bed, being forced to lie on the ground, wrapt up
in my coverlet. x
CHAP
384 GULLlVM's TRAVELS. Part I.
•$• «$• #• •$• •$• ■$• •§• $* # *$• •$• 4* $• 4* 4* •#■ 4s* 4 •$• •$• 4* 4*
CHAP. VIII.
7#<? author, by a lucky accident , finds means to leave
Blefvfcu ; and^ after fome difficulties , returns fafe
to his native cmntry.
THREE days after my arrival, walking out of
curiollty to the north-eaft coaft of the ifland,
I obferved about half a league off, in the fea, fome-
what that looked like a boat overturned. I pulled
off my ihoes and {lockings, and, wading two or
three hundred yards, I found the object to approach
nearer by force of the tide ; and then plainly faw
it to be a real boat, which I fuppofed might, by
fome tempeft, have been driven from a fhip : where-
upon I returned immediately towards the city, and
deflred his Imperial Majeity to lend me twenty of
the tallefl veffels he had left, after the lois of his
fleet, and three thoufand feamen, under the com-
mand of his vice-admiral. This ileet failed round,
while I went back the fhorteft way to the coait,
where I firft difcovered the boat ; I found the tide
had driven it ftill nearer. The feamen were all
provided with cordage, which I had beforehand
twifted to a fufficient ftrength. When the mips
came up, I ftript myfelf, and waded till I came
within an hundred yards of the boat, after which
I was forced to fwim till I got up to it. The fea-
men threw me the end of the cord, which I fatten-
ed to a hole in the fore-part of the boat, and the
other end to a man of war : but I found all my la-
bour to little purpofe ; for, being out of my depth,
I was not able to work. In this neceffitv, I was for-
ced to fwim behind, and puih the boat forwards as
©ften as I could, with one of my hands ; and, the
tide
Chap. VIII. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 385
tide favouring me, I advanced fo far, that I could
juft hold up my chin and feel the ground. I reli-
ed two or three minues, and then gave the boat
another move, and fo on, till the lea was no higher
than my arm-pits ; and now, the moft laborious
part being over, I took out my other cables, which
were ftowed in one of the fliips, and fattened them
firft to the boat, and then to nine of the veffels
which attended me ; the wind being favourable,
the feamen towed, and I ihoved, till we arrived
within forty yards of the more, and, waiting till
the tide was out, I got dry to the boat, and, by the
amTtance of two thouiand men, with ropes and
engines, I made a ihift to turn it on its bottom,
and found it was but little damaged.
I mall not trouble the reader with the difficulties
I was under by the help of certain paddles, which
coft me ten days making, to get my boat to the
royal port of Blefufcu, where a mighty concourfe
of people appeared upon my arrival, full of wonder
at the fight of fo prodigious a vefTel. I told the
Emperor, that my good fortune had thrown this
boat in my way, to carry me to fome place, from
whence I might return into my native country, and
begged his Majefty's orders for getting materials to
fit it up, together with his licence to depart, which,
after fome kind expoftulations, he was plealed to
grant.
I did very much wonder, in all this time, not to
have heard of any exprefs relating to me from ouv
Emperor to the court of Blefufcu. But I was af-
terwards given privately to underfrand, that his
Imperial Majefty, never imagining I had the leaft
notice of his deiigns, believed I was only gone to
Blefufcu in performance of my promife, accord-
ing to the licence he had given me, which was well
known at our court, and would return in a few
days, when the ceremony was ended. But he was
at laft in pain at my long abience 5 and after con-
Vox.. IV, K k fulting
336 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Parti.
fulting with the treafurer and the reft of that cabal,
a perfon of quality was difpatched with a copy of
the articles againil: me. This envoy had inftruc-
tions to reprefent to the monarch of Blefufcu, the
great lenity of his mailer, who was content to pu-
nifh me no farther than with the lofs of mine eyes;
that I had fled from juftice, and, if I did not return
in two hours, I mould be deprived of my title of
Nardac, and declared a traitor. The envoy fur-
ther added, that, in order to maintain the peace
and amity between both empires, his mafter ex-
pected, that his brother of Blefufcu would give
orders to have me fent back to Lilliput, bound hand
and foot, .to be puniflied as a traitor.
The Emperor of Blefufcu, having taken three
days to coniult, returned an anfwer, confifting of
many civilities and excufes. He faid, that, as for
fending me bound, his brother knew it was impof-
iible ; that although I had deprived him of his fleet,
yet he owed great obligations to me for many good
offices I had done him in making the peace. That
however both their Majeities would foon be made
eafy : for I had found a prodigious veflel on the
ill ore, able to carry me on the fea, which he had
given orders to fit up with my own ahtftance and
direction ; and he hoped in a few weeks both em-
pires would be freed from fo infupportable an in-
cumbrance.
With this anfwer the envoy returned to Lilliput,
and the monarch of Blefufcu related to me all that
pafled-i offering me at the fame time (but under
the flricteft confidence) his gracious protection, if
I would continue in his fervice ; wherein, although
I believed him fincere, yet I refolved never more
to put any confidence in princes or minifters,
where I could poiilbly avoid it ; and therefore, with
all due acknowlegments for his favourable inten-
tions, I humbly begged to be excufed. I told him,
that fince fortune, whether good or evil, had
throw
■
Chap, VIII. A VOYAGE TO LILLJPUT. jSf
thrown a vefTel in my way, I was refolved to ven-
ture mvlelf in the ocean, rather than be an occaiion
of difference between two fuch mighty monarchs.
Neither did I find the Emperer at all difpleafed ;
and I difcovered by a certain accident, that he was
very glad of my resolution, and io were moft of his
minifters.
Thefe considerations moved me to halren my de=
parture fomewhat fooner than I intended ; to
which the court, impatient to have me gone, very
readily contributed < Five hundred workmen were
employed to make two fails to my boat, according-
to my directions, by quilting thnteen fold of their
firongelt linen together. I was at the pains of-
makmg ropes and cables by twilling ten, twenty,
or thirty of the thicken: and ltrongeft of theirs. A
great itone that I- happened to find, after a long
i'earch, ferved me for an anchor. I had the tal-
low of three hundred cows for greafing my boat, and-
other ules. I was at incredible pains in cutting
down forne of the largeft timber-trees for oars and-
maiis, wherein I was however much aiiifted by his
Majefty's ihip-carpenters, who helped me in
fmoothing them after Ihaddone the rough work.
In about a month, when ail was prepared, I
fent to receive his Majefty's commands, and to
take my leave. The Emperor and royal family
came out of the palace ; Hay down on my face to
kifs his hand, which he very gracioufly. gave me ;
fo did the Emprefs, and young princes of the
blood. His Majefty prefented me with 50 purfes of
two hundredy/rz^j a-piece, together with his pic-
ture at full length, which I put immediately into
one of my gloves to keep it from being hurt. The
ceremonies at my departure were too many to
trouble the reader with at this time.
I flored the boat with the carcafes of an hundred
oxen, and three hundred fheep, with bread and
drink proportionable, and as much meat ready
Kk z drefledy^
383 GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Parti.
drefTed, as four hundred cooks could provide. I
took with me fix cows and two bulls alive, with as
many ews and rams, intending to carry them into
my own country, and propagate the breed. And
to feed them on board, I had a good bundle of
hay, and a bag of corn. I would gladly have taken
a dozen of the natives, but this was a thing the Em-
peror would by no means permit ; and, befides
a diligent fearch into my pockets, his Majefly en-
gaged my honour not to carry away any of his fub-
je<Sts, although with their own confent and de-
iire.
Having thus prepared all things as well as I was
able, I fet fail on the 24th day of September 1701,
at fix in the morning ; and when I had gone about
four leagues to the northward, the wind being at
fouth-eaft, at fix in the evening I defcried a mi all
ifland about half a mile to the north-weft. I ad-
vanced forward, and caft anchor on the lee-fide of
the ifland, which feemed to be uninhabited, I then
took fome refreshment, and went to mv reft. I
ilept well, and as I conjecture, at leaft fix hours,
for I found the day broke in two hours after I a-
waked. It was a clear night. I eat my breakfaffc
before the fun was up ; and heaving anchor, the
wind being favourable, I fleered the fame courfe
that I had done the day before, wherein I was di-
rected by my pocket-compafs. My intention was
to reach, if pofHbie, one of thofe iiland which I
had reafon to believe lay to the nonh-eaft of Van
Dicmen's land. I difcovered nothing ail that day ;
but upon the next, about three in the afternoon,
when I had, by my computation, made twenty-four
leagues from Blefufcu, I defcried a fail fleering to
the fouth-eaft ; my com fe was due caft. I hailed
her, but could get no anfwer ; yet I found I gain-
ed upon her, for the wind flacked. I made all the
fail I could, and in- half an hour lhe fpied me, then
himgout her anticnt, and difcharged a gun. It is
not
Chap. VIII. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT. 389
not eafy to exprefs the joy I was in upon the unex-
pected hope of once more feeing my beloved coun-
try, and the dear pledges I left in it. The fhip
flackened her fails, and I came up with her between
five and fix in the evening, Septembr26; but my
heart leapt within me to fee her Engliih colours.
I pat my cows and iheep into my coat pockets, and
got on board with all my little cargo of provifions.
The vefTel was an Englifh merchant-man returning
from Japan, by the North and South-feas ; the
captain Mr John Biddel of Deptford, a very civil
man, and an excellent failor. We were now in the
latitude of 30 degrees fouth, there were about fifty
men in the (hip ; and here I met an old comrade
of mine, one Peter Williams, who gave me a good
character to the captain. This gentleman treated
me with kindnefs, and de fired i would let him
know what place I came from Lift, and whither I
was bound ; which I did in few words, but he
thought I was raving, and that the dangers I had
underwent had diiturbed my head; whereupon I
took my black cattle and Iheep out of my pocket,
which, after great aftonifhment, clearly convinced
him of my veracity. I then mewed him the gold gi-
ven me by the Emperor of Blefufcu, together with
his Majefty's piclure at full length, and fome other
rarities of that country. I gave him two purfts of
two hundred fp; ztgs each, and promifed, when we
arrived in England, to make him a prefent of a
cow and a fheep big with young.
I mail not trouble the reader with a particular
account of this voyage, which was very profperous
for the moft part. We arrived in the Downs on
the 13th of April 1702. I had only one misfor-
tune, that the rats on board carried away one of
my fheep ; I found her bones in a hole, picked
clean from the flefli. The reft of my cattle I got
fafe afhore, and fet them a grazing in a bowling-
green at Greenwich, where the finenefs of the grafs
made
3cp GULLIVER's TRAVELS. Part L-
made them feed very heartily, though I had al-
ways feared the contrary : neither could I pofiibly
have preferved them in fo long a voyage, if the
captain had not allowed me fome of his bell bif-
cuit,. which, rubbed to powder, aud mingled with
water, was their conftant food. The fhort time I
continued in England, I made a coniiderable pro-
fit by fhewing my cattle to many perfons of quality,
and others ; and before I began my fecond voyage,
I fold them for fix hundred pounds. Since my lali
return I find the breed is confiderably increafed,
efpecially the fheep, which I hope will prove much
to the advantage of the woollen manufacture, by
the flnenefs of the fleeces.
I flayed but two months with my wife and fami-
ly : for my infatiable defire of feeing foreign
countries would fuller me to continue no longer.
I left fifteen hundred, pounds with my wife, and
fixed her in a good houfe at Redriff, My re-
maining ftockl carried with me, part in money and
part in goods, in hopes to in prove my fortune,.
My eldeft uncle John had left me an eflate in land,-
near Epping, of about thirty pounds a-year: and I
had a long leafe of the- Black-bull in Fetter-lane,
which yielded me as much more : fo that I was not
in any danger of leaving my family upon the pariflu
M y fon Johnny, named fo after his uncle, was at
the grammar-fchool, and a towardly child. My
daughter Betty, (who is now well married, and has
children) was then at her needle-work. I took
leave of my wife and boy and girl, with tears on
both fides, and went on board the Adventure, a
merchant-fhip of 300 tons, bound for Surat, Cap-
tain John Nicholas of Liverpool commander. But
my account of this voyage muft be referred to the.
fecond part of my travels.
END of Vol, IV.
mm* •**■•- -
.
Live Music Archive
Librivox Free Audio
Metropolitan Museum
Cleveland Museum of Art
Internet Arcade
Console Living Room
Books to Borrow
Open Library
TV News
Understanding 9/11